Horoscopes for 5.30.2019

    The fingers of the pow’rs above do tune
    The harmony of this peace.

Philharmonus in Shakespeare’s Cymbeline 5.5.469-70

Happy Birthday!

Horoscopes for 5.30.2019

There’s an uncanny sense of astrological “deja vu” that occurs. Jupiter, Saturn, in their respective places.


For me, this is someplace around my third cup of coffee. Two cups in the morning, then, shortly before noon or in the early afternoon, I get an afternoon caffeine jolt. Someplace around that third cup. Other afternoon? The paper cup is still on my desk, but the other afternoon? That third cup was just perfect. It was ground, fresh, good beans, then hand-packed into the basket, the espresso bubbled out perfectly, like it was hand-drawn, then the amount of hot water, it was an Americano, the perfect compliment of hot water let the concoction form a delightful — and aromatic — skin of espresso foam across the top. The first sip or really, about the third or fifth sip, the essence of the espresso was accentuated, and diluted with enough water, but not too much? Rich, creamy, less bitter, more flavorful, and frankly, a quality testament to the art and craft of coffee. Birthday times should be like that third cup of coffee, especially Gemini birthday times. These are Gemini birthday times. Third cup of coffee, or whatever you like to consume, done to perfection. One convenience store in Austin, used to run the coke mix on Dr. Pepper a little on the rich side, more syrup and less carbonated water. Made for as perfect afternoon libation, slightly richer in flavor, or, like that coffee, slightly richer, creamier, more. As the Gemini birthday week unfolds, look for that richness, boldness, in flavor, or whatever it is that you like. It’s there, usually about that third cup of coffee, for me.

Gemini: your mileage may vary, but around that third cup.


“Computers are really fast unless you’re waiting.” Not a new observation, and some would tend to interpret this as a Mercury thing. Which it might be. But I would lean into Gemini instead, a mercurial sign, but not exactly a Mercury thing, itself. As a Cancer Moon-child, the tendency is to lean away from the mercurial events, and my suggestion is lean into them. Instead of ducking, dodging, or avoiding, run towards that issue. Better yet, let’s engage some of the current energies, the planetary energies, and see where that might lead us. In other words?

Talk about it. Talk to who ever will listen. Talk to the cat, the dog, the neighbors, co-workers, cohorts, friends, confidantes, enemies, distant relatives, anyone who will listen. Then, too, there are those of us who appear to listen when, in reality, we’re forming our own opinions, long before any utterance is heard. That’s entirely alright because — way this works — what you lack in verbal finesse and the gentle art of rhetoric, you get to borrow from me, and my style, so what you lack in concise verbiage? Make up for in volume. Or, as I suggested, lean into the mercurial times, being what they are, at this moment for you. Lean into Gemini. Talk amongst yourself.

The Leo

Ever met a quiet Leo? “Yeah, I don’t fit that Leo archetype of being the loudest one in the room,” I’ve been assured, more than once. Flip that point around, though, and when that one — allegedly quiet — Leo entered, many eyes tracked her. Maybe not all, but a quite a few. In that rather silent motion and notion, she attracted the typical Leo attention, center stage. Spotlight. Fanfare, etc.

“But I’m not like that, really!”

Whatever. While all generalities are false, there is a focus on your very Leo-like essence. Either you’re center stage and forced to speak, or you naturally gravitate towards that spotlight, whatever it is? When you find your Leo self at the center of the issue, speak what you know is true. There’s a point — next few days — where the essence of your own, Leo self will be tested, and I’m sure you’ll do fine. Speak your truth. It’s not a difficult proposition, it’s about what works best for you, and I think, I find, that speaking what you know in your Leo heart to be true, at the time you are asked to speak? Say just that. Consider, with my own family and upbringing, “truth” is a highly voluble entity, subject to change and alternate definitions, so what’s true at this moment, and what’s true in the next moment can change. But the quick pointer for The Leo? Speak what is true, when called upon.


What some might consider a weakness, or a flaw in your Virgo character? What others might perceive as a limitation or debilitating problem? I’ve long-learned that these are merely strengths in disguise. For example, I have one Virgo buddy who is shy, to the point of this bordering on a psychological kind of thing, painfully afraid of publicity, speaking in public, and stage fright.

All of that. The fewer the people, the better. As such, though, he’s long since learned to work alone, without supervision, other than his own, Virgo mind, and he does quite well. His work is judged on his merits and results, not on who he is, with his near-debilitating fear of other people. Thank the odd gods for computer and virtual working spaces. He can talk, talk, type, text, and maintain his solitude. Works well, like that. Simple example of a weakness that is now a strength. As Mars marches forward where he is, and Saturn, in Capricorn, this all spells out a chance to accentuate the positive side of what others might see as a weakness. My buddy, so afraid of groups of people? He makes a great fishing buddy, just two of us in a boat. This week offers answers for perceived weaknesses, and a bonus, like a weekend fishing trip.


We all have secret vices. We all have dirty little secrets. We all like something that might not be socially acceptable, or might not be in line with what our peers think about us. We all have deep, dark, dirty little secrets. As an outside, Sagittarius, observer of Libra, I tend to be more open about my secrets. I’m more upfront about vices. There are couple of major novelists I like to read. That would be a secret vice, but since I write about this, and note the books as I read them, it’s hardly a real secret. Just doesn’t fit with what many people presume they know about me. “Really? You read that stuff, too?” Yeah, well, I admitted it because it influences my thinking, and I’m willing to lay my secret bare for all to see.

One young mom I know, she eats her kid’s candy. Leftover from whatever activity, she will help herself to the kid’s candy. Secret vice? Sure. I can see a valid rationalization, though, for that one, don’t want those kids getting too much poisonous sugar, so better get it out of the house, and I guess that’s an obvious route. Secret vice that might not be so secret. One other kid was showing me where he hid his candy, and he never realized, one, I might tell, and two, his mom already knows. Secret vices. Libra’s week is all about secret vices. Good? Or bad? My taste in some fiction? Might not be good, like candy for the mind.


Summer and summer vacations have little to do with what I was seeing in the Scorpio chart, this week. There’s a focus point, has to do with work. Either work, career, or both. I’m lucky because my career coincides with my work. Casting charts and building out interpretations, plotting the course of the stars and their meanings? Deciphering some aspects of human behavior? Been at this a while, and works for me, work and career are the same thing. However, that’s not always the case, and in this week’s Strong Scorpio energies, “But, holiday!”

But nothing. Work. Career. Focus. One, or the other requires absolute Scorpio attention, because, a little effort at this very moment will be well-rewarded at a later date. Like, soon, not some nebulous “In the future” kind of date. Soon. Very soon. But work, career? Pay attention, now, as this effort is well-received, and consequently? Well-rewarded. Soon. Work now, play later.


There comes a time when I get these folks all telling me how I should run my business. As soon as I hear, “You know what you should do?” That’s a sign when I blank out a little. I pay less attention. “You should write a daily horoscope, think of all the traffic you would get, every day!” Considering that my output is kind of maxed out at the moment, I can’t conceivably see a way to increase that by a factor of 5 or 7, so, yeah, no. Not happening. This is one of those weeks when, in the spirit of cooperation and engagement, yes, I’ll patiently listen to your ideas about how we can improve our Sagittarius lives, and then, I’ll stick with what seems to be most effective — for myself.

As a Sagittarius, this is the week when the world is full of advice for us, and this is also a week when it’s a good time to weigh that advice against what we know. Test, adjust if necessary, then test again, and then? Arrive at our own conclusions about what is most effective. I’ve spent a lot of time refining my processes — as I’ve been known to suggest?

“A lot of work goes into making this look easy.”

Sagittarius? Listen to counsel, but maybe do what know works best for us.


Most of my more redneck buddies carry a purse. Heaven forbid we call it a “purse,” or “man bag,” or even “clutch.” “Murse.” Yeah, not even. However, they all have a single sling backpack of some kind, and to them — to me — looks just like a purse. “It’s not a ‘purse,’ it’s my Every Day Carry. Just stuff I might need.” Like chapstick, or tissue, change of clothes, spare items, a handful of tools of one variety or another, sure. Call it what you will, looks a lot like a purse to me. Even times like this, I tend to keep a spare flannel shirt in my bag, some places have the AC cranked way too low, and I’ll shiver unless I have a spare shirt. Call it whatever makes it easier, but think about that as one buddy slings a backpack over a shoulder, “Yeah, just grabbing my gear; let’s go.”

As Mars cooks along in Cancer, opposite from Capricorn, and as Mercury gets ready to enter the Tropical Zodiac Sign of Cancer, yeah, make sure we have a go bag, an Every Day Carry, or, as I like to think of it, a purse, have that stuff at the ready. Going to need to be ready to hustle off again.

It’s not a purse, dammit.

You got lotion, gloves, wallet, chapstick, and tissues, right?

Well, yeah.

It’s a purse. Shut up already.


Observed phenomena, when the planet voted most likely to capture the true Aquarius nature, Uranus, is in a fixed sign? Change, inevitable and unforgiving, comes marching along. That change is never well-met with open arms and gentle willingness. Then, that understanding that change is ever-marching forward? Understand that, and let’s combine that with another element, the Sun’s location in Gemini.

Let’s talk about that change.

That inevitable, unforgiving, march forward, that inexorable sense that this is an inevitable change, and it will be, and we we all be forever marked by the occurrences, sure, remember all that? Sun’s in Gemini, right? Talk about it. Talk amongst yourselves, talk with your friends, co-workers, cohorts, or, often enough, readers, fakirs, whatever works. There’s a sense that change can’t be avoided, but this gets a lot more palatable as you start to talk about it. Discuss. Amplify certain points that others might have missed. Discuss ramifications, and the long-term assessment about what’s going on, and what the changes might mean for our future. Then discuss the future without that changes, can hardly get around them, but consider a future where those changes aren’t made.


Interestingly enough, a phrase from antiquated pop culture popped up. I recognized the expression, but as I read the text aloud to a friend, I admitted that I was unfamiliar with its original form. I knew it was pop culture from maybe 20 or 40 years ago. I know it was about a complaint addressing a laconic answer to a series of sardonic excuses. I understood the original in its abbreviated form, in its original form, and both in — and out — of context. What I lacked was the original Never saw it. How that happens, as a phrase that gets repeated often enough, it joins the general zeitgeist of the times, and as a reply to what I’d answered, it was a perfect riposte. Since the original has been used, over and over, et cetra, ad nauseum, and oft-repeated, it made sense — even though I never saw the original source for the commentary. As a Pisces, you’re used to working with less than complete data. In this situation, though, a simple response, imagine, I answered back, “LOL,” or something. I could very well have answered with this week’s opening quote, about how the planets preserve the harmony of the peace, but I’m not sure my answer would be as well-received as the original pop culture comment. As a Pisces, context, even with a certain absence of facts, context can work quite well.


The “Hail Mary” pass, in my mind, was most famous when played by a decades old Dallas’ Cowboy. Because it worked, often, and because it was effective, there was, at one time, a suggestion that the the sports franchise, Dallas Cowboys, suggestion was there was a link to the almighty. The divine, in one form or another, was connected to sports, sporting events, and a certain pro football franchise.

That was the assumption.

I can neither validate or deny the actual facts; the good lord never talked to me personally to make sure I knew. Still, the idea holds Aries merit, as the concept, the long lob downfield in a desperate attempt to pull off the impossible. Not to get all hopeful in the face of mounting and seemingly insurmountable obstacles, but it looks less like he can catch it. He does, and the game goes in Aries favor, at the last minute. All that’s required, at this moment? Faith. Faith in yourself and faith in whatever deities you might invoke, but you have to have faith in your Aries self, too.


Standing in line at the store, the warehouse store? I tend to buy in bulk, when I can. Not always but some disposable items that keep? I looked down. I could clearly see part of the problem. I had a package of “Teeth Whitening Toothpaste,” buy five, save big, right? Next to it, on the conveyor belt? A two-pound bag of organic coffee. Next to that? Wild-caught frozen blueberries.

Blueberries and coffee, two of the most stain-intensive material for teeth. Ask any tooth care professional.

Yeah, I can see the problem: here’s war waging within those three items, two of them are diametrically opposed to the other’s purported use. No wonder there’s a problem. That, in a nutshell, is a classical irony in life.

With the way this plays out, next few days? I can make a lot of commentary about those items working against each other, or, like I plan, and like Taurus plans, this is the time to go ahead and smirk, then gather the items up after paying for them and head out the door. I was amused. Not so sure the checker caught the joke. No worries, Taurus, “Joke’s on us?”

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“Nothing runs on automatic.” - L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.