Horoscopes for 6.13.2019

Do not torment me! O!

    Shakespeare’s The Tempest (II.ii.55)

Happy Birthday!

Horoscopes for


We make plans, we have goals, and then we have ideas. Wait, Gemini, remember, we have lots of ideas, all the time! We are Gemini! Still, those goals need some strategic action. Best if we plot a Gemini course, with amendable but specific steps.


Goals, destinations, specific action to make that goal happen, because, oh birthday one! A goal, with no plan, is just a wish. Birthday time. Plan accordingly. Good to have goals, but what need are concrete steps to achieve those goals.


One of the great joys about my work? I can follow any thread of thought, and watch. I can watch it unravel a garment, simply pull on and tearing at a single thread of a thought, toying, teasing, ultimately, forcing what’s under it to be revealed. With that single thread of a thought?

I can build it up, weaving it together and I can easily manufacture a whole tapestry from a single thread I found as an offshoot and spurious click from me joyfully trying to fact check some arcane bit of trivia.

Any thread can be equally momentous or meaningless. As a further skill-set? I don’t need even a hint of real facts to cut out an image wholly remanufactured from recycled dreams. For me, research — and reality — are strictly optional. Love my work. All of that from clicking around online, trying to locate an old friend. It’s still High Gemini, and that means distractions, which, wait, pull on that thought-thread over there, see where it goes.

The Leo

The instructions, see how this sounds, but, “Down Bandera Road, near the bottom of that hill? Yeah, turn there...” Kind vague instructions, besides, this is local — San Antonio/Austin are built on the shoulder of the Hill County, and as the name implies? This area is hilly. So the term, “Bottom of the hill” can easily refer to any number of locations. From just slightly vague to outstandingly difficult, frustratingly impossible to decipher? Yeah, The Leo is not amused by vague and unclear instructions. Out of context, my little note, “... down the hill, near the bottom...” that type of muddled instructions are a prime source of frustration for The Leo.

However, sitting where I was, little taco joint? The instructions made perfect sense. Context. Context matters. In this next couple of days? Context matters, especially to The Leo.


Looking for a quote, I have one in my reference material, I got sidetracked looking for a particular author’s statement, really a perfect aphorism to encapsulate what Virgo currently faces. What I found was a quote that I hadn’t included in my collection, but obviously, I should have.

“The Irish have an abiding sense of tragedy that sees them through brief moments of joy.”

(Attributed) to Oscar Wilde, who, let it be noted, was Irish himself.

This is a brief moment of Virgo joy, but fret not, that inherent Virgo sense — the furrowed brow — worry sneaks back in. This week should be far from tragic, but that’s not going to stop the worry. A day without having a totally Virgo-esque freakout and panic over, well, something, a day without that is completely wasted.

Did you know that quote might not be accurate? Should your Virgo self research that? Besides, adjusted as need be, is that rally true? Is this a good week masquerading as bad week? No worries, which, in turn, leaves you worried? Is this a reason to panic? I will get at least one fanatic note, about a dire situation that totally deserves a good freak out. Is that person not really a Virgo, which echos back to where we started, about this being good, despite whatever you’re worried about.

Pink Cake: The Quote Collection - Kramer Wetzel

Pink Cake

Pink Cake


Not something I would normally notice, but in the middle of a hot June, this caught my attention. It’s the “kick-drag” of cowboy boots, a kind of shuffle that comes from a guy walking, wearing boots. I strongly suspect that I make the exact same noise, similar gait from boots. I only know two kinds of footwear, having structured my life in accordance to my own beliefs and desires. Tastes, too. I only own sandals and boots. So I never realized, there’s a slightly hunched, forward-leaning stance, and then, a shift, as the boot heel hits the ground, followed with a corresponding drag, or shuffle. One business associate usually shows up in jeans and boots, even in the summer heat.

It’s a cultural thing, I would suppose.

While I’ve been around this all my life, it’s something that I just noticed. In itself, not a great revelation — but pause — there’s a very Libra message about learning some new aspect about an obvious observation, been in front of our Libra selves all this time. “Wow. I never noticed that before. Did you see this.”

More of a Libra statement than a question.


“Impatient Mental Health,” followed by a hospital name. Saw it on some scrubs. Thought that’s what it said, but what I know about mental health, “Impatient” may be a condition, but the process of mental health takes time. Can’t just — like — flip a switch and be better. Be nice, but, no, usually doesn’t work like that.

As a Scorpio, you know impatience.

“Kramer, that was ‘inpatient’ mental health. What is wrong with you?” Nothing that can be fixed, be my guess. However, I’m not Scorpio, and I’m not as rattled by the same forces, at this moment. I’m not impatient. Nor, apparently, am I worried about my mental health. As a Scorpio, there are two strains that fall from my ill-observed shirt sighting, one is impatient, while two is mental health.

The first part is understanding this is a long process, and probably won’t happen in a hurry. The metaphor for mental health was good as the usual process from bad news to good news can take years and years of committed effort on the patient’s part. Not quickly, though, just observing. What we’re dealing with, short form, Scorpio? There are not shortcuts. Impatient? Sure. What does that yield? Probably not much.


An old habit, left over from the good days back in Austin? Gas station hot dogs. There’s at least one author I’ve read, and I know he understands the appeal. Rotating under the lights and setting up over hours, those little missiles of mystery, meat-like substance sweat grease and ooze flavor, and then in a nod to localized phenomena, there was sliced, pickled jalapeño available as a dressing-condiment-side dish. Accessory. Food accessory for the hot dogs. Perfect.

Breads a little stale, the mustard is a little weak, but the artifice of such food? Can’t be topped. Hot summer day. Don’t need much. Sun is stil cooking along in Gemini opposite from our Sagittarius selves. We need a break. Doesn’t have to be an actual hot dog from a convenience store, but as an idea, place them on sale, and while it’s not something I would suggest all the time, we need a small break. Some days, like this week, hot summer day, that special was the huge tub of fizzy coke, and two hot dogs for less than two bucks. Good deal. Perfect break and sustainable nutrition for the Sag soul. Little break. Cheap break. Not a typical stop, but on that works, this next week, maybe once. Or twice: gas station hot dogs.


Mars and Mercury, playing a game of cosmic tag in the early evening sky sets up a power-play with Pluto. This tends to exacerbate any struggles, and bring the underlying elements to the forefront. Mars and Mercury add emphasis, and the problem? Sometimes this is an emphatic statement that our Capricorn selves would wish was left unsaid. There’s a time when we would all prefer some discretion, and yet, usually this is some family member, but someone brings a point to the forefront.

Best. Left. Unsaid.

As the pressure build within this unlikely opposition, though, what happens is that a certain internal, Capricorn pressure builds, and you must tell someone. Hey, drop me an e-mail, because I won’t tell a soul. Or maybe not? Never can tell with the airwaves being what they. Anyway, now might not be the best time to try and impress it upon the world that there is this thing, and it needs some more attention. Like right now! Maybe not so loud? Maybe not so publicly?


Life can’t be reduced to a simple “Venn Diagram,” but the notion holds up for this next few days. I was helping a client get some targeted advertising in place, and I referred back to my original demographic profile. I had a marketing guy who insisted that I profile the typical reader of these horoscopes. Other than they are all residents of planet earth, yeah, not much in common. Gender, highly fluid skewing towards females but almost a 50/50 split. Age? All over the place. From “Really Old” to the generation that springs forth from the loins of the millennials.

In other worlds, no coherent theme for my people.

However, this wasn’t about me, it’s about Aquarius. Targeted advertising then granular looks at what we want. For me, I found that I do well with the worst possible keyword, “Horoscope.” That’s part of my Venn Diagram. What are the two elements for the Aquarius diagram for the week? There will always be a variety of elements pushing and pulling on the your Aquarius self, but as this week’s weirdness unfolds? Pick two, then find the common ground. It can be done, and the goal is to resolve this week as a simple diagram, two circles, with the Aquarius piece being where the overlap exists. Find peace in that piece.


Business seems to greatly interfere with a both a social life and leisure-time activities. While how one might define business vastly varies from individual Pisces to another, the sense is that “business” is getting in the way of having fun. Most days I rather enjoy this line of work, so, in that respect, I’m lucky.

But it is work.

Therein is the weekly gauntlet thrown down at the foot of Pisces, the eternal struggle between work and play. If I had a better answer, I would serve it up, but alas, I don’t. I know, you turn to me for answers to questions, but this is a time when the balance point between work and play gets fuzzy, or even, at times, downright confused. Then, too, there’s the eternal “I’m doing this for me,” commentary, and seriously? Think you can get away that, this time?

As those lines between work and play start to get more and more blurred, though, there is a point where some rest and respite is required. This weeks hold a Pisces chance for a short rest period. One buddy claimed he was going to sleep for a week. Not more than 36 hours later, he was ready to fish. A little rest is good, but don’t plan on sleeping for a week, as nice as that might sound.


A woman came by my table at an event, gave me that simpering look, then signed her name to my sign-up sheet. It has a price, which, I might add, varies by location, and the note that says, “Readings are taken in order of sign-up.” She sauntered off, never to be seen again. Or, I’ve seen her around, but she thought that merely affixing a nom de plume to a list was enough.

I have other business associates who practically beg for an email, and phone number, and why? I don’t know. Looking at another’s sign-up sheet, I noticed that there was a space for email. Yeah, no. Not me. That means I input the email address in the newsletter list, and then, I get spat upon because I was sending unsolicited email, when, clearly, I was solicited to add a name to the list.

Too much trouble.

Simple solution? I use a double opt-in list manager. Safer, for me, and I only want people who want to get my mail, I only want them receiving the news. Not where I was going with this, I kept thinking about that one woman, signing up then wandering off, thinking that affixing her first name, really a handle, and expecting I would intuit her mailing address, or transfer information to her via a mind meld of some kind? For the rest of the world, Aries, for the rest of the world, we got to spell stuff out. “Psychic development” sounds cool, but not everyone will receive the same messages.


Comes a time when we have to quietly acquiesce to certain situations. In one example, I was thinking, “This is as good as this will get.” Front of a boat, and it wasn’t a stellar day on the water. Not bad, but we hadn’t hit our collective limits on both Redfish and Black Drum. No flounder, either. Late spring fishing, days can be like that.

Where the comment comes from, “This is as good as it gets.”

Which, come on here, front of the boat, water, sun, fishing? Not bad at all, just not one of those days when every cast gets a hearty “Fish on!” Yes, the comment is, “It’s as good as it gets.” Not bad, from my perspective, but as of late, I got rather spoiled by good fishing conditions, and to have just an OK day after a string of highly productive days, sort of a let down. Not really a let down, face facts: 1. On the water. 2. Fishing. 3. Catching some fish. 4. Good weather. 5. Bonus: good companions for the trip.

So, seriously, “This is as good as it gets,” really isn’t too bad, now is it? Ask your Taurus self, pose that as a question, an interrogative instead of a statement, “This is as good as it gets?”

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“Nothing runs on automatic.” - L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.