Horoscopes for 8.29.2019

    “Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie,
    Which we ascribe to Heaven.”

— Helena in Shakespeare’s
All’s Well That Ends Well Act 1, Scene 1

Happy Birthday!

Horoscopes for


Inspiration, especially Virgo inspiration comes in strange places. Paraphrasing from an outdoor supplier, there were three bullet points. 1. Always look cool. 2. Don’t get lost. 3. If you do get lost, look cool. I realize that, in this birthday season, I shouldn’t be so liberal with my “borrowing,” but to paraphrase those bullet points again? In light of the planets, and what they are doing, at this very moment? Think of this as three Virgo dictums to live by, this next week, and happy Virgo birthday. Now, those three simple guidelines?

1. Always look Virgo cool.
2. Don’t get lost.
3. If you do get lost, at least look Virgo cool.

Have a good birthday week.


One of the goals, evident in my corpus of work, for sure? But a common goal throughout the various mediums? Make a digital image appear analog. Think about a font, a typeface that looks like handwriting. That’s a perfect example. Some kind of effort to make an image, typically a networked computer display, makes that look like it was hand-drawn, or sketched, or the lettering looks like it is done individually. Over the years, I’ve toyed with various ways to draw and display the image for the each’s zodiac sign’s symbol. For several years, I used scans of hand-drawn symbols, as a good example of trying to make digital look analog. As the week rolls into the weekend, then next week starts?

We’re looking for analog-like display of Libra data. Hand-written. Hand-drawn. Rough sketch. Notes, in my case? Notes I jotted down on the back of a napkin, or the blank back of a business card, and once upon a time? I used to carry a few 3 X 5 cards just for ideas. Still do carry a moleskin-like book, but I rarely use it. I have one handy, though, just in case. A favorite use was a quick note sketched in a book like that, then I would screen-grab the image itself, and use that online. Best of both worlds? Maybe. Maybe the worst of both worlds, but once the idea, be that image or text, is digital? Much easier to manipulate. It can start out as an analog Libra idea, but translate it to digital. That’s the goal.


There are times when “current scholarship” is best served in a medium just like the World Wide Web. I’ve got one copy of a “Complete Works of Shakespeare” that only has 36 plays in it. At this point, with addendum, conjecture, computer analysis, and no small amount of political infighting, the acknowledged canon is closer to 40. There are problem plays, plays with dubious sources, possibilities, collaborations, and sometimes even outright fabrications. Shakespeare replica, or outright forgeries are almost as common as the real thing. Still, there’s a sense that some of the most current thinking on a particular topic — I’m using my fan-boy attitude towards Shakespeare’s works as an example — the most up-to-date data is available online. In some cases, that’s the only place the information seems available. There are academic tomes, journals, peer-reviewed articles, slick glossy publications with fine artwork and minimal content, and then there are wiki web sites, all stuffed full of good information with possible conjecture, personal spin, and even some outright lies still being published. Still, applying the mereest tiny amount of critical thinking to some online journals can yield excellent Scorpio results. It’s about carefully reading the material then forming your own conclusion. Extra caution should be used when dealing with absolutes, and some purported academic material? Just because there are footnotes? Doesn’t mean it’s accurate or really well-researched. Use that innate Scorpio sense of wonder clouded with doubt to do a little fact checking on your own.


I might’ve mentioned this before, but he popped back up, so I thought I would trot out the analogy again. Old friend way, long, back in the past-past, knew me when I was a mere wisp of lad. Nice enough guy, but his name was “Larry.” Now his name is “Laurin.” No, this isn’t a gender shift, just, the name on his birth certificate was “Lauren,” or Laurin, I’m not totally sure, and in the early years, when we were fast friends, he went by the name “Larry.”

That was then this is now.

There was an interval of time when I was elsewhere, mostly fishing off the shore in South Austin, and then, to cycle up after all these years? Pretty bizarre. The name change threw me, at first. However, after a while, and enough of those brain cells killed off from various activities, it was easy enough to address him by the new name. Although, in my mind, there’s still that element makes me think of his first name. We were younger, better looking, thinner, hotter, more stylishly attired, and cooler. That was then and this is now. It’s a simple shift, maybe something just like a name change. Could be something simple. After a bit of time, I forgot about his first name and the “new” name sticks. Weird. What’s that mean for our Sagittarius selves? Allow for a natural change that occurs over an interval of time.


How does the expression go?

That what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger?

No, not what I was thought thinking.

That what doesn’t kill you just gives you some decidedly unhealthy coping mechanisms.

“I’ll drink to that!”

This week’s Capricorn observation? Watch those unhealthy coping mechanism.

“I’ll drink to that!”


Has it come to this? Recently, I purchased package of charging cables, for phones and tablets. Kind of a universal item, right? All look about the same? Sure. They don’t all act the same. In there package, I think there were three, one was extra long, and it was the first one I pulled out. I used it for a little while, but the tablet wasn’t charging up when it was plugged in. I changed the charger, didn’t make a different. I changed the plug outlet, again, didn’t make a difference. It was charging, but rather slowly.

Eventually, through trial and error, and a few dead tablets, and one dead phone? I figured out it was that one cable. The one items that was new. Still, it had to go. Unceremoniously, I placed that offending — non-full-charging — cable in the trash. Not recycled, just landfill. Maybe it was too long, maybe it was broken, and maybe, given where I’d purchased it, I could get my money back. But the rest of the cables worked just fine, and I didn’t care. What it has come to, though? I’m at a point when it just easier to throw it away, rather than try and make the damn thing work. Or to isolate the problem. Just easier to call it “over.”


“Remember? I had on gray hair, it was a wig, and Kramer, you almost hit on me until you realized who I was.” To be fair, gray hair — worn with pride — can be incredibly fetching. Appealing. Attractive, it’s about how one wears it. But the person reminding me of my almost egregious behavior? She’s the daughter of a professional friend. While, it’s true, she did grow up around me, I wouldn’t, I couldn’t, that’s just so wrong on so many different levels.

I, quite frankly, don’t recall “almost hitting on her,” but then, I’ve forgotten more than I will ever know. Anyone who’s been around me, though, can easily see that happening, me “almost hitting on her” until, of course, I realized it was my friend’s daughter. Just wrong, on so many levels. I also doubt the veracity of the tale, as told by that child, but the story holds up, and I could easily see how the gray wig would do that to me, until, of course, I realized who the cherubic face belonged to. I’m willing to display my foilbles and eccentric behaviors, stories that might be half-true, for Pisces to see so you don’t make the same mistake that I am alleged to have made. I doubt it’s really true, but it sounded nice. “Almost hit on me,” is the clue. Just admiring a person, that’s all. As a missive and message for Pisces? Don’t let appearances fool you, on any level.


Proximity. All about what’s closest to my little Aries friend when it happens. What’s easiest? or, what’s closest? “If you’re a hammer, then the world looks like a nail.” Or, the way I heard this most recently, “If you’re a lawnmower, then every problem looks like a yard.” I would supposes there’s the addendum, “If you’re a lawn mower then every problem looks like a yard that needs to be mowed.” While the most efficient tool might not be within close proximity to my little Aries person, not at this moment, the tool, device, whatever it is that is required to get the task accomplished? What’s is in the closet proximity? I can answer e-mail on a phone, but I prefer a device with a keyboard of some sort. Still, look down, look around, what’s the closest — what’s within the easy grasp of the Aries hands? What’s the best tool to use? Whatever you can grab, at the moment. There is an Aries task, a goal, a job, part of a project that needs to occur int he next few days. Easiest way to make that happen? Sure, a specialty tool is better, but what is in close proximity? Can you make that work?


I’m not really much good at telling birds apart from each other. I was marginally interested in specific ornithology and taxonomy some years ago, but that was based on certain species of raptors in South Texas. So I’m not much good at this. As totem animal? The Owl has appeared for me several times. I’m not even sure of the meaning. Not long ago, I found — looks like — a hawk’s tail feather, almost laid at my feet. Again, I’m not totally on board with meaning and significance. Maybe somebody can enlighten me. Finally, though, and this goes back in my personal history to a trailer park in South Austin, before doing their was cool, and hawks. Mostly, I’m guessing here, Red-Tail Hawks, a fairly common predator in my area. Sometimes solo, but most frequently, I’ll see them as pairs, lazily circling on the summer’s updrafts.

The vultures and the hawks can look quite similar, but there are telltale differences, and that’s about as much as I’ve learned about bird watching in my homeland. However, as I stated at the beginning, I’m not much for specifics, other than “hawk” or “vulture.” I can’t really be relied upon to tell what kind of hawk it is. Coming home the other day, though, I watched a pair of hawks, probably a mated pair, slowly circling and riding an updraft upwards, with, it seemed, the tips of their wings almost touching. Watching the pair, they eventually drifted out of my line of sight, but watching them glide cohesively together like that? Taurus could benefits from that kind of team works. In time when everyone else is talking about “Going it alone,” Taurus does best as a part of pair. Like those hawks, looked like 6-foot wingspan, tips nearly touch as they circled, riding the drafts upwards, together.


Ever try to do something nice and have it totally backfire? Just go wrong from inception to delivery to post-op wrap-up? Every step along the way, seems like someone was trying to prevent this from happening?

“The road to hell is paved
with good intentions.”

Heard it that way, too. Still, this was a case where I was trying to be kind, trying to give back to the community, and making a sincere effort to help. Thwarted at every turn. Offer something for free, and it brings out the best — or in my case — worst of humanity.

Maybe it’s me, really, or maybe my motives weren’t entirely pure, but looking back? Yes, I’m pretty sure I was serious — in a good way — about that I was doing. Just had it backfire, and rather badly. next time? It won’t be free. Next time? I’ll put a price on it. Next time? Here’s a hot tip for Gemini, from aSagittarious fan of all things Gemini. There is no “next time.” Didn’t work? Don’t try it again. Didn’t go well? Don’t do it again. Didn’t end well? Doesn’t sit well with your Gemini psyche? Then let’s take a lesson from that altruistic, ultra-pure Gemini act of kindness. Don’t. It’s really simple.


Professionals are predictable; amateurs are dangerous. Simple observation, came from a former military man I know. So he is a military man, still; he’s just retired. Talking over the fence one afternoon, I think he was watering a flower bed with a garden hose, it was “How’s business,” and my rejoinder, “how’s retired life,” and it goes from there.

Armchair, amateur, or “Monday Morning Quarterbacks” tend to muddle the information, some correct, some incorrect, some just outright dangerous lies. Then, too, in looking back, we can all see much more clearly. Still, my buddy was right, “Professionals are predictable; amateurs are dangerous.”

In his setting, it was amateurs with a cause? Much more frightening than a cold, steely-eyed professional who just has a single job to do. The Cancer (Moon Children) all have a goal. Is this goal accomplished with the steely resolve and dedication to craft like a professional? Or is this courageous, maybe foolhardy, but valiant attempt by an amateur? Personally, I’ve long since learned to hire the right person for the job. Just much easier.

The Leo

For many years, I’ve enjoyed two variation upon a theme. One is a beverage called “Thai Ice Tea,” and the other is “Mexican” chorizo. One is an orange-tinted beverage and the other is really nasty, but quite delicious sausage (or sausage-like substance). When I finally researched the restaurant recipe for “Thai Ice Tea,” what I wound up with was green tea infused with a large dose of yellow food dye. Or red food dye, or some coloring agent. Two scoops of dry tea, four teaspoons of sugar, and then condensed milk. No wonder it was good; sounds just like local variations of sweet tea.

The mix itself included what might be an unhealthy dose of food coloring. What I noticed, though, working and sipping my way through that package of tea? Same color, and same texture of color, as the local cheap version of chorizo. Not having any on hand, but it is a main ingredient in my version of chili, I didn’t fact-check right away. Looking at the ingredients on cheap store-bought chorizo is frightening, at best. Various animal parts, looks like they swept the floor of a slaughter house, and ground it up as chorizo. I’m pretty sure, though, that it’s the same kind of food coloring as used in the Thai Tea. In uncertain times like this, in a time when everyone else is pedaling differences? Look for the similarities. Now I have to get some chorizo to make chili.

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“Nothing runs on automatic.” - L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.