Horoscopes for 9.26.2019

    By’r lakin, I can go no further, sir;
    My old bones aches.

Gonzalo in Shakespeare’s
The Tempest (III.iii.1-2)

NB.: “lakin” is short for Ladykin, the Virgin Mary

Horoscopes for 9.26.2019


All the players are in place. All the pieces to this week’s birthday puzzle, they are all aligned. More — or less. Sort of piled up, anyway, if not perfectly aligned, which, if you’re a good Libra, that usually works well enough.

Venus is in Libra for the duration of this horoscope — that’s good. Mercury is in Libra for the duration of this horoscope, again, all good. There are some special Libra birthdays this week, all good, right? The trick is to understand that all these “Inner planets,” or “personal planets” are merely stirring the pot a little. No need to be rash, hasty, or lose that regal manner you’ve adopted for your birthday time. Borrowing from the Leo playbook? Always act as if there is an invisible tiara on your head. At all times. This week. Crown, whatever.


Some years ago, I had an example of Mars in this position, and I nicked myself with a pocketknife I was sharpening. Thought about that example for Scorpio because, with Mars where he is? There is a good chance that there will be blood letting, by Scorpio, and it looks like it might be your own blood. Just giving you a fair warning about being careful with items that are potentially razor sharp, like a blade, a scalpel, or you own Scorpio wit. The deal with blood?

As a good Scorpio, you’re sharp enough to understand the inherent danger when handling a object that can potentially sever skin. As a good Scorpio, you’re also aware of my old military buddy’s “medic’s motto.” Everything stops bleeding. Eventually.


I was walking in the sporting goods store to get some fishing gear, replace some stuff I recently used up. Trailing a little to my rear was a large, and I mean half a head taller than me, man, the color of burnished bronze. Close cropped hair, smooth shaven, stern look on his face, well muscled arms that were probably bigger — and stronger — than my legs. I was wearing, some surprise here, a shirt with pink flamingos, shorts, and flip-flops. Our eyes met, “Are you a Jimmy Buffett fan?” He had a thin smile, but he was amused. I answered, kind of hard not to be, not dressed like I was, I mean, I can deny it, but the facts speak for themselves. Almost sheepishly, I answered affirmative.

He went on to tell me he used to live in Florida and worked security for a few concerts back then. My (Sagittarius) pre-supposed notion was he was a large man who could do bodily injury to me, just for the fun of it. Turns out, he was kind of a fan of the same beach music I like. He wanted to know about fishing at a certain, local lake. What some would consider a threat, or an unwanted advance? Turns out, it was a chance to expound, in proper Sagittarius fashion, about a topic we know inside and out. Best of all?

Shirt with pink flamingoes.

Never can tell what leads to what. Be extra careful about judging a situation before any facts are available.


I tried this with a buddy’s kids, worked fine, withstood the taste test. It was a double-blind taste test. I have long maintained the difference between blue corn tortilla chips and regular white chips, there is no discernible taste difference. With one’s eyes closed? No way to tell which is which.

Sitting a TexMex joint not far from me, my buddy had his kids at an impromptu, “Wife bailed, got the kids with me, if you want to skip this...” No, I like his kids, and this presented me an opportunity perform another test. Eyes closed, the little boy could tell no difference. Eyes close the little girl pretended to tell a difference, but she would guess wrong, as in, I would start to hand her a blue chip and switch it to a white one, and she would claim it tasted “blue.”

The older sibling tends to be the most clever. But without cheating, at that one restaurant, there’s no discernible taste difference between the brightly hued tortilla chips and the regular ones. However, looking at the chips themselves, with eyes open, there’s a distinct shift in perception about the flavor. It’s about perceptions.

It’s about how we perceive — what our sense tell us in combination, seeing and tasting, compared with just a taste test, especially if it is a double blind. The conclusion? Even though we claim we’re not biased? There is some. Remember this as you encounter people who swear up and down that this is the way it is. Close your eyes and see if you can taste a difference.



I don’t have a lot of “tune out” music. As I’ve aged, and that’s painful to write, but as I’ve aged, my musical tastes, still a tad bizarre, change very little. The difference is I prefer music that isn’t too loud. I’ll put something on a player, softly, muted, so that it serves as a background noise rather than a driving beat. I’m less inclined to “tune out” with music; although, to be honest, yes I do have some music I can crank up and that stuff does sound better, loud.

“Tune out” music is the key, and what we use in the Aquarius camp for “tune out” tunes? That will vary from individual to individual, but the idea is that there is background, running sound track? That’s part of this. Golden Oldies? Classic Rock? There’s a thin slice of a “Prog Rock,” “progressive rock” that works for me. Can’t say it works for everyone and I won’t pick particular artists, but the idea is sound. Running as background music. Disco hits from the eighties, sure, that might works as well. The trick to silence this week’s roar of the planets and stupid people? A background, set it low, musical track. Tastes vary, but my idea of volume low, so it just sort of runs in the background?


In my life, I’ve criss-crossed Texas, more time than I care to enumerate. Sometimes, this can actually be fun. One day, I was little east of Austin, there’s this lake, really a power plant cooling pond, but at several thousand acres or whatever, it’s a great fishing place.

To me, it’s a lake, with a single eyesore of a power plant at one end, but hey, it keeps the power on in Austin, so, so shut up. The countryside around that lake is rolling, coastal praire, gentle hills that are mostly black dirt, occasional limestone outcroppings, and piney woods inspired with other native hardwoods. Dairy farms, used to be cotton country but that played out, and then oil, but mostly just rolling hills for hundreds of miles.

The image itself was a “Stock Tank,” which is nothing more than a creek bed that has a small amount of dirt piled to create a small catchment for water. Hot summer day, last August, and there was big bull, onyx black hide, standing waist deep in the stock tank. The other cows were milling about in the sparse shade of a willow at the edge of the creek. On the bull’s back, a white “cattle egret” perched. Just like he belonged there. The cattle and the cattle egret get along in a healthy, symbiotic relationship, the one attracts the bugs and the other eats them — or something. I’m not good with cowboy lore. This single image, though, hot day, sun searing its way along, and the bull, keeping his lower parts cool, with that single egret, just perched on his back, like two old friends. Might’ve Ben old friends. Struck me as a odd, and the color combination made the offset more visually appealing.

This is about a symbiotic relationship, just like that.


Some images one cannot just “unsee.” It was grandmother-looking type, of a certain age, and she wore it well enough, right parts in the right places, it was just, she was wearing a Red-Hot Chili Peppers concert T-shirt. Be proud, show them things off, but, wait, that’s a shirt, originally from — 25 years back? Further than that? Remember, mad, bad, and dangerous to know, hardcore music about sex and drugs?

Not by almost any current standard, but in its original era? Edgy and almost pornographic in its display? Sure. So that means, a grandmother-like figure, yes, she might’ve been there. I wouldn’t know, I’m too young. There was a ferocity in the music itself, filled with rage and anger, that youthful kind of passion otherwise long gone. What was protest and anti-establishment material is now kind of tame. Maybe she was trying to wear the T-Shirt ironically, but I would guess it was original, and the feeling it engendered, still the same. Not the first time I’ve noted this kind of strange juxtaposition of material, old and new, but what was “outlaw,” then, is now mainstream. This kind of juxtaposition appears in the Aries life, like a grandma wearing an original Red Hot Chili Peppers concert T.


The obstacles you’re facing, as a Taurus? What’s in the way is the problem. Sounds a just a little bit reductive. Not the first time I’ve been given that quizzical look, that, “What do you mean,” with “you stupid fool,” implied.

However, this points to the obvious for this week’s puzzle, the Taurus conundrum. There’s an obvious obstacle blocking your forward momentum. Looks like that’s what’s in the way. Simple as that? Yes and no.

Some days, it’s the most obvious answer, right in front of us. The deal, it’s a lot easier than you think, you know, it’s a lot easier if you confront, attack, surmount, or, at the very least, make an attempt to overcome the problem that’s right there, in front of you.

What I’ve seen this last few days? People spend more time — and emotional energy — mental horsepower — avoiding the problem rather than making an attempt at the solution. Yeah, this week? The biggest problem is the problem right there you seem set on not dealing with at all.

Here’s a hint: it ain’t going away.


Got a buddy with a PTSD service animal. He needs the dog; this is an example valid service animal. Dog’s got a little tactical vest, got a patch, says, “Do not pet.” Really difficult, not reaching down to pet a gorgeous golden lab mix. Dog’s a little too smart to be purebred. Not important.

What I wanted? One of those “Do not pet” labels.

I asked, “You think I can get one of those?” “Thought you didn’t like dogs?” No, as I explained, I wanted one of the ‘Do not pet’ patches. Gemini — think about that kind of patch. Hook and loop fastener-backed name tag, only it says, “Do not pet.” There’s a kind of distraction, liking someone petting you, and this is a good time to be left alone. Not totally, as that’s too much like operating in a vacuum, and doesn’t work for Gemini, but certain distractions? Get a patch says, “Do not pet.” We both need that, this week, saves on the frustrations.


I got this one client, stunt-double guy. He regularly puts himself in danger for his day job. “I do all my own stunts,” is a favorite tag line for him. We laugh. Apparently, the most common injury is a collar bone, and apparently that’s one of the most painful yet least problematic of the injuries. He’s broken legs and arms, and frequently appears rather beat up. Part of his “day job,” I suppose.

We had a recent exchange of messages, and after reading one of my horoscopes, he was all, “I don’t understand,” and my answer?

Don’t go and jump off a building.

My answer is a little pat, kind of broad, and suggests that no Moon Child put himself — herself — in the line of danger at the present time. So? So don’t go and jump off any buildings. Except, like, in his example of a day job, but his deal of jumping off buildings? Turns out that’s probably safest part of his day.

The Leo

I love my job. I get to cross various boundaries, and disciplines, as I can work with strict psychological models, alternative therapies, and sometimes, pure invention. The science of where the planets are, that’s straight up fact, and the interpretation of where the planets are, that’s more open, like the position is science, and interpretation is art. Arts and a sciences, kind of a blend, and these days, we need that blend. Especially in Leo, we need the blend of multiple disciplines.

In other words, instead of an expert in one field, we’re looking toward The Leo for some more generalized instruction. Directions, commands, instructions, all of that. Or some of it, or maybe, just need a gentle nudge. Never can tells, as the advice varies a bit with each, individual chart, but as a whole, there’s a point where The Leo should be combining multiple art forms to make this whole. Instead of an answer that narrowly depends on a single source of data, a deep dive into just one topic — at the exclusion of all other sources of data? Consider the need for far-ranging, widely-dispersed, and maybe, drawing from several disciplines instead of just one. Cross boundaries, and use a variety of sources.


Always love a little dose of clarity for my extra fine Virgo peoples. A little extra dose of something, anyway, and you guys need it. With the relative motion of the planets, and the Sun, which, technically, isn’t a planet, but a star, with the relative motions for all involved? There’s a perceptible, palpable change afoot. Comes with a dose of clarity. That’s kind of the operative word, at the moment.

Fishing, some afternoons, we get these rare, clear, high-pressure afternoons with nary a cloud in the sky, and the winds dies down, and the lake’s water is much less turbulent. Really a reservoir, a large holding tank for water to cool a power plant, but yeah, for me, it’s another lake to fish in, and as such? When we get these moments of clarity, it helps. This is a recent memory, and now that the Sun has moved into Libra, while some of my buddies are thinking about deer season, I’m thinking that the Fall Fishing is just picking up. Grab a buddy, and head towards the lake. Like the current Virgo mind? The waters are settling down enough to see where the fish might be lurking, and we all want that.

astrofish.net/travel for appearances

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“Nothing runs on automatic.” - L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.