Sweet ladies, will it please you sit? Sir Harry,
Place you that side, I’ll take the charge of this.
His Grace is ent’ring. Nay, you must not freeze,
Two women plac’d together makes cold weather.

Lord Chamberlain in
Shakespeare’s Henry VIII 1.4.19-

Horoscopes for 12.12.2019

Full Moon in Sagittarius and Gemini, 12.12.2019 at 12:12 AM CDT or 12.11.2019 at 11:12 PM. Your Mileage May Vary. The December Deal special opportunity.

Sagittarius

This is a gambler’s week. How much of a gambler are we? Just about every Sagittarius fancies him or her self as bit of bonviant and having certain touch with, “The ponies.” Or whatever, however, that shows up.

One of my little Sagittarius brothers kept insisting that he would always win on lotto scratchers. The deal is, the odds favor the house. In other words? No way we’re winning more than we spend. I’m a bit unusual in that — it has happened — I have won at games of chance. Pure luck and the odds are in our favor, but only just. There’s always a little warning that goes with this kind of a “gambler’s transit,” though: never spend more than we are willing to lose. Only spend what we’re willing to admit might not come back right away. Might not a be a good week to be making “investments,” which, to other people might look like a gamble. Careful, not saying “don’t,” just suggesting we make sure.

Your Mileage May Vary.

Capricorn

Secrets to success? I’ll let you in on a little secret that’s proven very effective this holiday season: ground cardamom. Organic, non-GMO, ground cardamom. In the past, I’ve trotted out the old “cinnamon in the coffee” routine, and met with warm accolades, but not nearly as cool as the cardamom. That spice has some kind of weird texture, and it’s more pungent, so I have to be more circumspect and careful with dosage. A single shake from the bottle is all it takes. Why a classical spice like this?

The holiday spirit, plus the great cacophony caused by the planets stirring in Capricorn demand some kind of acknowledgement. For me, it was simplest to open up a bottle of spice — not dreaded “pumpkin spice,” as that’s horrible stuff — but a simple bottle of something a number of people typically have languishing at the back of the spice pallet. Grab something that’s already there, and make use of it. Somewhat unusual, but also, like, sort of keeping with the times. There’s a certain sense of holiday magic that using that single spice will add. Try it. My simplistic, yet effective effort? Just a quick shake, just a pinch over the grounds for the morning coffee.

Head explodes. Capricorn: “Kramer’s a genius!”

No, just observant, and willing to try anything to help make our lives better. For both you and me.

Aquarius

These are always the hardest horoscopes to write. No one pays much attention to what the stars say until after the holidays. Still, I feel I certain sense of duty to make sure I get the missive across. This holiday season, the first two, three weeks December 2019? Filled with pitfalls and pratfalls for good Aquarius, wherein the biggest obstacles are all of our own making. All of our own Aquarius making, as in, plumbing the depth of the Aquarius soul, or reaching deep into our own subconscious and dredging up old hurts, retired pains, and similar situations where we’ve been wronged.

Forgiveness may be divine, but is sure not company policy. Poses a problem. While there are many great works from the self-help canons about the process of letting go of previous injuries? The operative phrases are “Forgive,” and, “forget.” There’s another “F” word that comes to mind, don’t snicker too loudly, we all thought it, and that might be the quicker, shorter version, something about that harsh, Anglo-Saxon language makes a difference. Best choice for this week? Forgive and forget, and if that doesn’t work? I’m sure you can think of something else, just as a hat tip, I’ll forgive, but not forget. Keeps me from making the same mistakes, over and over.

Pisces

“Find your signature style now!” Yeah, my signature style hasn’t evolved much over the years. I started with loud, floral print shirts, and I never deviated. Over the years, though, as there have been miles, smiles, and trials, I’ve added and subtracted from that kind of a signature style for myself. However, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that the most common element, for me, is comfort. I do have a couple of Hawaiian shirts that have Xmas images printed on them. Makes the festive spirit more in tune with the festivities. I mean, it fits, and I can easily stay with my signature style, mostly shorts, sandals, and loud shirts. If it works, then it works. While I’ll never be “in style,” with my inherent comfort factor worked into my typical attire, I’ll never be out of style, either. I love it, a mystical zone between fashion and fashion police.

That’s my “Signature Style,” which, I’m pretty sure, isn’t what the ad was beckoning towards. However, that’s merely an example of my style, and I’m not the Pisces in this week’s equation. Find something wherein you’re both comfortable, and stylish, and remember, style is entirely subjective. Whatever it is that you want to look like? Make it happen for Pisces and smooth the Pisces psyche.

Aries

The “Kara Kara” is a kind of a hawk. Or a carrion eater. It’s large. It’s nickname is “Mexican Eagle,” I think the real name is “Crested Caracara,” but I’m too lazy to look it up. I have a couple of images, scattered images, and it’s a bird I never noticed until I wound up in the outer suburbs. I ran into the local nesting pair of couple of times, and at one point, I thought I figured out where their nest was, hint: on top of a local business’s roof. What I admire about the majestic birds of prey? They are evolved. They can fall from the sky, screaming, and snatch up prey. Or, they can feast on whatever the local vultures are eating. Live prey or fresh dead, doesn’t much matter. Opportunistic, and, as adult specimens? Tall, regal, severe, almost haunting in appearance. To a certain extent, the actual, mature adult birds look like a cartoon character, with feathers tapers behind the head, and the giant hooked beak, good for hunting and scavenging. I mentioned this to a friend in California, and she scoffed at the idea — thinking the bird was out of its range.

Laugh away, but for several years, there’s been a nesting pair living in my San Antonio neighborhood. The first time I saw the pair, I was greatly taken back, but more recently, there was a dead deer, and along with the typical carrion feeders, there was the mighty pair. With the preponderance of planets in Capricorn, your Aries self knows the drill, right? Look to nature for an example. While I would tend to think of the Crested Caracara as a majestic hawk, indeed, belongs to that biological family, I would also remind Aries that the regal bird is opportunistic, gladly taking advantage of whatever is fresh-dead. Aries: never turn down a free meal. There’s a special holiday message in that one bird’s choices.

Taurus

Technically, the car was not a real “Low Rider.” Technically, it hasn’t been modified, the suspension chopped, lowered, or anything like that, so it wasn’t really a classic lowrider. However, that being noted, the car itself, it was four-door, sedan, that rode really, really low. I’m not sure if it was aftermarket tires, something a previous driver had done, or if it was just not a tall car. Not even short. Low rider fits. Not doing her anymore, so I don’t know what happened to that car. This week’s Taurus material made me think about that car, and the way it would scrape over speed bumps unless we crawled almost to a stop. Most of this week, for Taurus rolls along just fine. Just a tiny speed but, towards the end of the week, what to do? Slow down. Imagine, like that old “not really a low rider, but almost?” Imagine, negotiating speed bumps at a snail’s pace, crawling forward so that the undercarriage, the Taurus undercarriage, slow enough so that the Taurus base doesn’t get scraped. Or worse, like a turtle over a hill, where the legs don’t reach the ground? Imagine that car teetering on a massive speed bump, the driving wheels spinning hopelessly in the air? Not the whole week, but at some point, there’s that speed bump. Slow down for it — Mars. Mars is in Scorpio.

Gemini

For many years, I traveled extensively with work. I got used to always carrying a book to read, in one form or another, and the worst, I was stuck in a delayed flight situation along the front range of the Rockies (Denver airport), and I finished reading the fat book I’d brought. Snow, rain, probably rain, caused the delay, and that was the issue. With nothing to read, at hand, I was forced to look online for some new material. I got an e–book at a pulp price, discovered a new series of books, all pretty cheap, and I was off on a new adventure. I turned adversity, stuck in a waiting zone, delayed travel, into a voyage of discovery. There’s a time, fast approaching in Gemini, when the exact actions, the last big, fat book you were reading, you’re done with it, and it’s OK to cast about to find a suitable replacement form of entertainment. Education. Educational entertainment, or info-tainment, as one client called it. I didn’t really like that term, but it’s not up to me. Still, we’re looking for some useful filler material, as there are times when the Gemini mind needs incoming data, and the usual holiday crap isn’t cutting it. Seeking data, like, being stuck in a mile-high airport with nothing to read.

Cancer

The good graces that come from age? I’m too old to worry about females competing for my attention. Yes I still fall prey to the usual charms of young and pretty females, but I also harbor no illusions about that kind of situation. This week’s quote is from a little-performed play, Henry 8, because it’s problematic, at best, more about legal wrangling for a king than any sword and sorcery, like some of the other plays. I liked that line, too, about placing two women next to each other and watch the frost develop. I wouldn’t know, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen that kind of situation develop.

Now? I’m too old to worry about it. Age does have some benefits. The holidays are upon us, and like the quote, there’s a situation your Moon Child self will encounter where you’re tempted to let frost develop because of the insinuation of competition. The trick is? This is a trick of the planets, mostly all in Capricorn, which, if you’ve been following, is directly opposite from your frosty Cancer self. Think about that image of two females next to each with frost forming between them. As the weeks wane, though, there’s a warming trend between perceptions and reality.

The Leo

There are two artists — musicians — who produced Xmas albums that I’ve bought. Billy Idol and Jimmy Buffett. In fact, Buffett has several Xmas albums, seeing as how he’s Capricorn — and an Xmas baby at that, Dec. 25. Usually, I’m not much of a holiday person, but a little bit of cheer goes a long way. So, here’s the idea, put on some of that music, and let the others, The Leo fans, the family, The Leo groupies, and assorted hanger-ones? Let them hear that kind of Xmas music and you’re good to go. As a Leo-compliant, Leo-centric person myself? I’ll hear that holiday music you’re playing, and I’ll assume that you’re in the “holiday spirit,” however that looks to you — but I’ve found pretending to enjoy the popular version of holiday classics helps.

A few Leo friends are in the spirit, but the rest of you have mountains of work to get done before the end of the year. That’s where the holiday music comes into play, looks like you’re in the mood, when, in fact, looks like you’re grinding away at that last deadline. The stars, mostly in Capricorn, with a hint from Sagittarius, helps push these goals to the front, and then, get them done. Now.

Now is a good time. Put on the Xmas music, make it look like you’re in the spirit, and then? Get this stuff done before the deadline.

Virgo

Incremental change, updates, and that ilk? It’s called “Feature Creep.” I’m not always a fan of progress, when in this example, it’s merely change and “progress” for the sake of saying, “Look! We changed something! Isn’t it better?” As a good Virgo, you know the correct answer? “I liked it the way it was.” Here’s the deal with this week’s planets, the full moon then the waning aspects, plus, well, all that Capricorn, ahem, nastiness. Yes, all of that. What my good little Virgo friends need to be on guard for? Against? Watching out for?

“Feature creep.”

“No, look it’s better if we just add this, and that, and then one more item….” It’s like a recipe, to thoroughly confuse and twist the metaphor, follow the recipe. Simple as that. A pinch of salt means a pinch, not a teaspoon, not a tablespoon. If someone, later wants that? That person can add it themselves, don’t keep adding stuff, don’t load up one more “feature” because it looks like a good idea. This week, to avoid the nastiness, and to enjoy the holiday? Maybe no updates. No additions. Follow the recipes. Follow the directions, to the letter. Some assembly required.

Libra

My dad was Libra, and despite the season, I’m not above using dead relatives as perfect examples. In his latter years, he wore hats, almost all the time. Part style, part function, part eccentricities. This week is a Libra with a hat, only, the hat is on sideways. The hat is mashed down on the Libra head, or the hat is askew.

It is most certainly not on straight.

While there are times when a rakish tilt looks good? This is a not one of those times, or this isn’t the style of the moment. While I like the idea of hat, practically, I move too much, and I bounce, and hats tend to fly off my head. For years, I used bandanas, as they would stay on as I — metaphorically — jumped through hoops.

That’s my solution, for Libra, a scarf — or a bandana — like me. Hats? Hats are great. But there’s a problem, and the upsetting Capricorn mess makes that hat look bad. Not look bad, but not on right. There’s a certain energy present from all that Capricorn. Don’t argue with it — doesn’t work in our Libra favor. Just mash that hat down on the head and proceed forward.

Scorpio

There’s a huge amount of “Cardinal” energy, mostly from the plethora of planets in Capricorn, which in turn, agitates gentle Scorpio. That source of agitation is more like minor, underlying frustration. It’s the extra long line at the grocery store, it’s the cell phone that drops the calls, it’s the stupid traffic — slowing down just to irk your good, Scorpio self.

These are all minor aggravations. The week is full of grievances, for Scorpio, that feel like a personal attack, when, in fact, none of them are — back to look at that Cardinal energy so prevalent. It starts to stack up and starts to get to you. If you’ll bear with me, though, we can find a good way to use that aggravation to your Scorpio advantage. Stuck in line at the grocery store? Look at the lurid tales in the tabloids, and think about your arch-rival’s kid. Get that kid a sugary snack for the holiday season.

Phone drops a call that seems important? Turn the phone off, and forget to turn it back on for a few minutes, or a few hours. blessed relief. I can’t help with traffic congestion, but I’m sure there are forms of relief, just need to be ready. Music, anything but insipid holiday music, that helps. And don’t get irritated if you get an ear worm from “Jingle Bell Rock” stuck in your head.

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“Nothing runs on automatic.” – L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.