Marry, I will, let them play it. Is not a comonty a Christmas gambold, or a tumbling-trick?

• Sly in Shakespeare’s
  Taming of the Shrew (1.2.119)

Horoscopes for 12.19.2019

The sun moves into the tropical sign of Capricorn on 12/22/2019, at 12:19 AM — happy winter solstice. The December Deal special opportunity.

Capricorn

Hypergolic energy. Use it. Happy birthday. Locally, the roads at the edge of the incorporated parts of town are dotted with “fireworks stands.” Bang-up business, twice a year, New Years and July 4th. The fireworks are the perfect metaphor for some, and for some, the fireworks stands as a business model is as good an example as any. There’s certain rules and regulation, like, has to be inside the county line, but outside of the incorporated areas that restrict fireworks sales. Has to be plenty of parking, and from what I’ve observed, there needs to be a wide, open space for trying out what was just bought. I wouldn’t know; I have one fishing buddy with kids, and fireworks means an expensive trip to the stand for him. We hit that Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year, and the beginning of Capricorn? It’s like lighting a fuse, and the first few days, the fuse just sparkles and sputters, but once there’s the shift from Sagittarius into Capricorn? Boom! That’s a good “boom,” I hope. Like fireworks.

Aquarius

Behind every angry woman? There’s a man with no clue as to what he did wrong. While the content of the joke is sexist, puerile, and essentially dated with roots in a previous era? Pause, for just a second. Adjust the pronouns, or nouns, the subjects of the sentences, as need be. Man and wife, husband and spouse, oh please, it’s still true to this day. The genders can easily be reversed, so it’s not gender specific. “Did I do something wrong?” If you have to ask? “Did I do something wrong?”

“If you have to ask, then I’m not telling you what you did.” It’s funny because it’s human nature, and we’ve all heard this kind of comment from our significant others, at one time, or another. This holiday season unleashes an unholy kind of trembling fear on Aquarius, but trying to figure out what we did wrong? Why he or she is mad at us? Stop. Back to the original joke, there’s always an emotional situation that we will have no clue what we did wrong. Stop trying to figure it out. This next couple of days? This falls on the Aquarius? Not. One. Clue.

Ha! Good luck with that!

Pisces

Buddy of mine is handyman. I mean, he’s really good. Last time I had him over to look at a broken thing? “I’m the D-I-Why guy.” I look at him; he continued to reflect, “My people — you, Kramer, thank god you don’t — but most people look up doing this their selves, take a try and then call me to clean up the mess. You wouldn’t believe. D-I-Why guy.”

Perfect moniker, perfect description, and it works well. I’m old enough, chronologically based in years, to know when I can, or shouldn’t be undertaking a certain task. My familiar refrain?

“Just call the guy.”

Costs a little more, but getting an expert to do the heavy lifting? What my buddy does in three minutes can take me three days. Even then, if I did it? It still might not be correct. When Xmas unleashes some extra projects and your Pisces self thinks, “This is clearly a DIY thing,” consider my buddy’s nickname, “D-I-Why.” An honest assessment before proceeding, Pisces? “No man, I got this. Wait.”

Yeah, wait for it.

Aries

Sitting in my freezer, don’t know how long this stuff’s been there, I had some dead bait fish. Little, stinky, dried, looked like fat minnows. I don’t recall the source or conditions, just knew that I needed to use them. Think of them as frozen sushi. Maybe not. So one winter’s day, not too long ago, I stood by the edge of a local lake, baited up with those dead fishes, and I eventually caught a smallish-striped bass.

White bass? Stripers?

Whatever one wants to call it. While some of my buddies do eat these critters, I’m much more — it was a man-made lake that served more as a cooling pond for a fossil-fuel power-plant — makes me much more of catch and release person. Pictures on the website someplace, I’m sure. Check the feeds. Getting that frozen baitfish to the lake was no problem; fishes were frozen. But after setting in the sun for part of the morning, they thawed out, and I had some seriously stinky bait, which in turn, might speak to my success fishing, but doesn’t make the trip home any less smelly. That was the problem. It wasn’t the fish themselves; they weren’t too slimy in December, and I was just catch and release fishing, anyway. No, it was the bait that stunk the place up. First off, I was fishing. Secondly, I was using up the last of something that needed to be used up before the end of the year. But the message for Aries? It’s all about what left the biggest mark: the stinky bait.

Taurus

I’ve seen a “White Christmas” in my native Texas, but generally, the weather is warm — peaceful-like. Not too cold, not too warm, brisk overnight temperatures, but I can easily wear shorts during the day. There are freak cold fronts, plunging temperatures down to almost freezing, certainly below that comfort mark for me, but then, a few days later, all warms back up.

What does the winter Texas weather have to do with the Taurus astrological weather? Both are entering a phase, which, taken at the plainest examination, are highly unstable and relatively unpredictable. Sun, wind, rain, thunder snow, we get it all, and it could be this very week, although, historically, it only seems to snow here about once every few years, not all the time. Hard freezes are followed by unseasonably warm weather. Poor plants get that “psychotic” treatment, wondering whether to grow or not.

There are some similar, very mixed messages in Taurus, and trying to figure them out, I mean, trying to figure out the mixed messages? Really not worth the effort. Holidays are crazy-making, and there are times when, my immediate family lives in other parts of the state? That distance makes life ever so much more bearable. Like the plants, with the crazy winter weather? After the solstice? “Should I stay? Should I grow?” There are no definitive answers in the next few days. Happy holidays?

Gemini

As the seasons change and march forward, there’s a gradual shift. The problem for Gemini, is that term, “gradual shift.” Yeah, that “gradual” part really doesn’t work. Gemini likes, bold, decisive statements. Actionable items. None of this “Gradual, gentle changing of the situation” crap for you guys. I prefer terms like, “Swift, bold strokes.” To detect the subtle new Gemini direction, which will be lost against the backdrop of the holiday noise? To detect this new material? Have to figure a way to understand and filter out the various voices that are speaking. What’s the main person saying? Something about this is an important holiday season? Yeah, we knew that. Not news for Gemini. There’s a quieter, secondary voice singing some kind of holiday tune, again, not something we all need to pay attention to, and these are merely examples of the background noise that is trying to drown out the various Gemini missives. I’m guessing it takes about three tries to finally arrive at what you’re supposed to know.

The stars indicate a subtle shift. For Gemini to discern those critical elements as the Sun shifts into a different constellation? That’s the hard part, as there’s just so much background noise that must be filtered out.

Good luck with that.

I tend to bounce ideas off fishing buddies, found that helps me.

Cancer

There is no pill that will cure this. Simple enough message, right? Maybe not one that my Moon Children friends want to hear at this holiday season, but there is no pill, no 1-minute workout, no miracle substance that will cure the problem. For some, it’s weight, for some, it’s over-indulgence, and for some, it’s lack or restraint. The problem various from chart to chart, but the idea that a single pill, or a certain substance, will make everything better, and that this miracle drug will work overnight?

Persistent illusion.

With the warnings out of the way? Start looking for a course of action — Cancer, Moon child action that leads to the results you so fervently want. Looking for a course of action that leads us there. There are entire industries built upon the weakness of the human mind, and this is a time — yes, middle of the friggin’ holidays — to start plotting — back of your mind — start plotting and planning what changes are going to be made in the following year.

While there is no pill, no panacea for this problem? There is a possible way through the holiday by thinking about what changes are coming. Good changes for Cancer, the Moon Children.

The Leo

One of my Leo friends was having a holiday get-together for her girlfriends. She opined, “I brought everything for knitting: bottle of wine, pizza, no yarn, or needles.”

She pointed out that — as long as there were no knitting needles? No one would get hurt. But it was a knitting party. The high holidays unleash a special kind of madness upon the world, and the insane consumer-driven desires balanced against what is humanly possible?

There seems to be a greater and greater divide. What looks like the images in magazines, websites, various media feeds, and what works out? What the various forms of media feed to our Leo psyche about what this should look like, and what it really does look like? I think my buddy’s idea of a “Knitting party” is perfect. Bottle of wine, pizza, and that was about it.

We all have different coping mechanisms, but in one form — or another — The Leo needs a knitting party. Just like my buddy’s party, however that works out. “Yeah, Kramer, I’m going to knit you a muffler this year.” I think I heard someone snicker.

Virgo

Recently, I bought a product that had the word “focus” dominantly displayed in its name. The big end cap suggested that this would improve mental alertness, help keep me on track, stimulate my brain, and the product was clinically proven to help mental functions. Paid for it, got it home then, after cracking the seal and popping a couple in my mouth, “Take once or twice a day, as needed,” I noticed that it was not FDA tested, nor was it really proven in clinical settings to improve brain functions.

It was probably tested in focus groups, and it was probably tested with paid volunteers. I found that I work much better, I can pay much closer attention, when I’m being paid. A couple of hundred dollars makes me pay much closer attention. The ingredients, I was looking for something that keeps the fine, little tendrils of brain parts active and healthy. Reading Shakespeare helps, but even I know that Shakespeare’s works are far better in performance, seeing is better than reading. Still, there’s a movement afoot that suggests those pills are not as effective as reading a Shakespeare play.

Still, in either case, the goal is to keep ourselves — keep our Virgo brain — intact and in good, working order. I can’t say the pills worked. I’d like to think they worked along the lines of Gingko, but I’m not sure, and I’m not really willing to expend energy to look it up. What I do know, now, the pills are of doubtful use, but a little hard work, and some regular Virgo attention to detail is all that’s required.

Libra

I’m part of a new movement, we’re now older, but the movement keeps us young. Libra, care to join us? We like to Nap Hard. All a part of what we do. I found a a piece of writing advice, and it was the tail-end tidbit, “When in doubt, nap.” For me, this is akin to my previous meditation process, and that’s proven helpful, as well.

The amusing part of this, I was with a buddy’s kids for a few hours, and the youngest one was still getting a two-hour “nap time” at his day care. But on the weekends? Not a chance the kid would stretch out for a few moments rest. Rest for the kid and rest for the parents. Me? Middle of the afternoon, and I get a sudden, sure, let’s call it “Low blood sugar,” or overwhelmed with fatigue, or, as it really is? Just a little tired? I’ll stretch out on a couch, close my eyes, and suddenly, I’m asleep.

I use a timer with this, usually set on a phone, and my goal is 20 minutes, but I’ll accept any amount of deep rest. Ostensibly, this is supposed to be mindful meditation, but what it really is? A quick rest. Brain revives, full of new ideas, I’m ready to tackle tasks again, and annoyances are less annoying. The secret, especially this next couple of holiday-infused days? Join the naked nap team, or, like me, just Nap Hard.

Scorpio

You’ll remember, when “they” used to say, “You’ll understand later, when you grow up?” I’m grown up (aged) and I still don’t get it. I’m not sure what they were talking about. Still doesn’t make one lick of sense. That whole, “Grown up” part, maybe that’s what’s escaping me. There’s a sense that poor, beleaguered Scoropio is in the phase where, some action, some sentiment, some kind of holiday tradition, where that is supposed to make some kind of adult sense?

Doesn’t make a lick of sense, does it?

I’m not going to try and untangle what doesn’t make sense. The holiday confusion, the wins and loses in the the last year, the approach of another Scorpio year that might not make a lot of sense to some of us? Then, with the marketing, advertising, insipid holiday crap piped into our souls? Just makes it worse, doesn’t it? Yeah, I feel your pain and frustration (not really, but it sounds nice, right?) The solution is to understand that whatever it is that is supposed to be so clear and easy to understand? Might not appear clear, and some of this, whatever it is that you were supposed ti understand later? Now that it is “later,” maybe knowing that you don’t know is better. Perhaps that is the (Scorpio) Christmas Miracle.

Sagittarius

Recently, a buddy — Sagittarius parts — came to me and unloaded about his spouse. After years together, kids are getting older, he was stuck in his head about the past. “If only I had gone out with this one girlfriend, instead of (the women who is the mother of his children),” and the list went on, a veritable litany of missed cues, mistakes, regrets from a dozens of years in the distant past, and so on. He unceremoniously dumped this on me before the onset of the proper holiday season, and now that Sagittarius is more or less over? All those regrets, wishes, nightmares, errors in judgment, and every other kind of “Coulda-shoulda-woulda” comes back, if only for a brief moment.

Yeah, but you didn’t. Let’s move on.

astrofish.net/travel for appearances

“Nothing runs on automatic.” – L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.