Dispute not with her, she is lunatic.

• Marquess of Dorset in Shakespeare’s Richard 3 (1.3.253)

Horoscopes for 3.12.2020

Pisces

This advice varies from person to person, but in general? Time to grab a burger. I can’t eat the three-quarter pound, dripping patty of raw meat, just barely charred on the exterior anymore. I can eat it, but I prefer not, as it is way too much for me. As a much younger man, with a younger man’s physique, I could devour such a meal. Lettuce, pickles, tomato, raw onions, maybe a slice or two of cheese, and mustard, or mayo, or whatever sauce. Maybe none. One place, locally, does a righteous veggie burger, the great fake burger. Maybe one of those, for my vegan friends. Sure.

The best way I’ve seen the fries was an old place back in Austin, “Back in the day,” and they would have about three or four big potato slices, like a pickle spear? Only fried to crispy goodness, redolent in that stale kitchen grease flavor. Whatever the comfort food is? I was thinking of burgers, hey, in New Mexico? Probably Blake’s? Whatever the messy, greasy, possibly not all that healthy, but delightfully soul-quenching food that works? For me, the image is clearly a burger, but Pisces needs something at this time, to help assuage the beast within. Comfort food. It’s still Pisces birthday time, so food like this doesn’t count as “bad.” I still think of hamburger, double patty, mustard, onions, pickles, tomatoes, and — my secret ingredient? Jalapeño. That’s what I think of. Whatever yours is? I suggest it. The stars are so inclined.

Aries

Over the years, I’ve made a serious effort to stay abreast of technological changes. Paying for stuff with just a phone? Always was interesting to me, but one aspect I’m a little leery of, since, how well does one trust that kind of technology? Safe, secure, all tied to an e-mail address or phone number, or whatever? I’ve always liked cash. Some years back, while traveling and working, on the road, I did a little experiment, where the price was $36 credit card charge or $40 cash. This was more as a chance to showcase my ability to accept credit cards on the spot rather than any kind of psychological or sociological experiment. Been so long in the past, I don’t recall the outcome, but I didn’t have to make an extra trip to the bank, after that show. Yes, the processor takes a percentage, but I was learning a new way to conduct business. The other afternoon, at the grocery store, I had a couple of items, and I wanted to pay in cash.

I looked at the automated check-out line, no wait, and card only. I looked at the “10 items or less” line, and there was a few people ahead of me. I looked for the shortest line, and the biggest problem? To really pay in cash was the slowest line. I never said this makes sense, but there you have it, Aries. Slowest line was “cash only.” This week holds a frustration like I just went through, the “Cash Only” line takes longer. I didn’t say it made sense, I just suggested that your Aries self should be ready for such discomfort. As always, I’m real willing to be wrong about this, “No man, I got through the line in record time. Couldn’t find my truck in the parking lot, but that’s a different story.”

Taurus

The so-called “learning curve,” at least in my experience, is more like a long, curving, dirt road. I was attempting to come up with a better analogy for the “learning curve,” but all I could think of was precipitous drop-off that plunges into what feels like abysmal failure after failure, only for a distant light to appear, and then, another cavernous gap, so the curve, there’s more downhill than uphill, although, certainly, to some, it will feel like an uphill battle. Sure. The so-called, “learning curve” for Taurus, what does that usually feel like? While I’m not a Taurus, I could easily see this week’s energy flowing just like my way of learning this stuff. I struggle with it, I pound away, fight with the material, bounce off the wall a time or two, and then, and only after I’ve gotten righteously indignant, pointedly blamed the material, maybe cussed a little, and feels like I’m dropping in an endless pit with no hope of return, only then do I start to grasp the underlying concepts. Only then can I start to put the material together. Only then does the proverbial lightbulb, “Ah-ha!” moment occur. Struggles, pitfalls, every last mistake than be made? Yes, that’s what it feels like but then, all of of a sudden, all the material starts to make sense. This horoscope starts on the rough patch of the learning curve, and gradually gets to the smooth part. Eventually.

Gemini

There’s a certain child-like quality that I associate with Gemini. After fishing with a buddy — and his two kids in the boat — I understand that quality better. The sheer excitement when the littlest one started catching bait fish for us. Kid was thrilled with those fish, and to be honest, the fish were bigger than his wee little hands, so the fish were huge to him. He was set up with a tiny fishing pole, and a tiny hook, and the littlest of the sunfish family would nibble and then get ensnared with the hook. To me? Bait-fish. That child-like glee, the excitement, the rush, the sheer sounds of noise, that, in and of itself, almost made the afternoon feel complete. That a few of those baitfish tuned into bigger fish? Yeah, there is that. Pictures on the web someplace. That kind of fishing trip, no, this doesn’t mean that Gemini should go fishing with me right now, but that kind of a trip is what this is all about, that sheer joy, excitement, the sense of wonder in the eyes of a child? If your Gemini self has lost that? One should regain it. If it is already there? Should be a good start for the next few days.

Cancer

Buddy was complaining about his life — largely based on his own choices. As a Moon Child-friendly intuitive? The answer to his problems? My buddy needs a woman who can improve the quality of his problems. Not exactly the best time to be out there looking, but there’s an upward trend, and maybe it just takes swapping up. In my thought process, he was alone at the time, and a proper woman (mate, spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, something) would not end his litany of complaints but it would change his tune. As an example, given where the planets are at this moment — think that Cancer wants to be swapping up. Sexists and tilted, and possibly offensive to some, adjust genders and terms as need be, but for that once Cancer, Moon Child fishing buddy? Get a woman who can improve the quality of your problems.

The Leo

I spent a certain amount of time merely listening to people. Overheard in a coffee shop would be the best way to title this kind of material. As much as I applaud The Leo’s typical approach, just for the time being? Like the next couple of days? Tone it way down. You know that I adore that very Leo-like sense of the dramatic, and gestures that, if I were to do it, I’m not Leo, it would look like I was overacting? Like I’ve admonished, time and again, I’m not Leo, nor do I have the requisite Leo-like sense of the dramatic. What I’m suggesting, and I mean this from the bottom of my Leo-loving heart? Tone it down. Just make an effort to contain the Leo-like sense of the dramatic. No monologues, no haranguing the help, no waving the arms about like a giant (dare I say Leo-like) windmill. There’s a tension building in the sky and the best way to play that? For the majestic, mighty Leo? Best way to play the tensions? Dramatic pause. Quiet. Silence. Shut up. One Leo gets puffed up and about to send me a retort about me suggesting quiet. Before you hit “send,” before you loudly lambast some unsuspecting miscreant like myself, pause. Wait for it. Wait just a little longer. Think of the power of the dramatic pause, and think how that makes you look wiser, smarter, prettier, whatever. Wait for it.

Virgo

Because I was considered a brilliant, but problematic child? I was in three different high schools. My “college career interrupted,” now that I pause long enough to think about it, that was two colleges and three universities for a single degree. Not exactly quick on the uptake, as some would suggest. I got here, in part through dogged determination, and in part, because I was able to manipulate the situations to my advantage. There was one time, sitting in a freshman class, when I was clearly older than the majority of the students, and I also — clearly — had more real-world experiences, and I recall the up and down of the feelings. Warm spring day in Arizona, looking around at brightly scrubbed children, wondering what I was doing there. What I learned, and I learned it at that school, was the experiences that I had, good and bad, getting to that point were like dog-eared pages in a book, referred back to, damaged, repaired, but still functional. It was what I went through to get where I was. Never did take the straight route, but that is so boring. Now, years later, I’m fully aware of the twists and turns, and I’m comfortable with my choices. That’s what Virgo should be able to arrive at, this next few days, comfortable with the choices — good or bad. It’s what made you who you are, and whining about crap in the past? Whining about crap in the past that you can’t do anything about? Yeah, how does that serve you moving forward?

Libra

What books get discarded? There was, and I think about this material every so often, there was a great article about where certain authors abandoned reading the classics. Like Hemingway only read the first 120 pages of Joyce’s Ulysses, if my memory serves, and it might not. Same novel took me almost two whole decades to finish. So this is about what books gets discarded. Anymore, with digital mediums, e–Books and their ilk? It’s almost too easy, sitting there, to hit “buy” and then wind up with a book one doesn’t really want to read. The preview was good, the advertising copy was excellent, all of it was fine except for book itself. As I’ve aged, I’ve discovered that — classic — or not — if a novel doesn’t sit well with me, for whatever reason? I am not morally obligated to finish the text. To be sure, I have a couple of academic tomes that I’ve been toting around with me for years, meaning to get to them, but if there isn’t something attractive, something that grabs me, some point, be it content, style, delivery, cover art, something — just has to be something about the book. My most recent item I’ve just shelved? Academic work on some Shakespeare stuff. Sounds dry and boring, and guess what? It was dry and boring. While it’s an endless topic for me, I’m neither academic nor actor, so the material while superficially of interest? Didn’t grab me. Maybe a quarter of the easy through, I just let that go back to the shelf and left a bookmark where I was. Libra? If it doesn’t grab you and hold your attention? It’s quite all right to set it aside.

Scorpio

Depends on how you want to play this one. I find a certain strength here, while most authors tend to say, “This is bad, very bad.” Not how I see it all, but there’s a certain amount of very Scorpio perseverance that’s required. See this week — all the way through. See this project — all the way through. See this interruption — all the way through. There’s an inherent balance to the way the world works, and to arrive at that point, the place where everything is balanced? Characteristic Scorpio pluck, determination, tenacity, and foresight? Need to use all of that. This is a particular strength that Scorpio has, that Scorpio can draw upon, but that well of reserve strength and patience? Might be sorely tested. Herein is the clue, just when you’re about to throw it all away, give it all up, and surrender? That’s the clue that it is best if you see this — all the way through. One Scorpio is looking at me right now with a hairy eyeball, “All the way through? To the bitter end?” Yes, see this one all the way through, and thank me in 7 to 10 days.

Sagittarius

As a Sagittarius myself, I know we can be adept at sifting through the horse crap to find nuggets of pure gold. We all have special powers, and that tends to fall on the Sagittarius corner of the sky, just one of our myriad of gifts. The difficulties is that this is the one skill-set we’ve got, and it’s the one skill-set that is required — this week. Sifting through mounds of material to find that single nugget of really useful data. There was a time when a search engine could do this, but now? I get ads for stuff that sounds like words I typed in, but I have to page through several layers of crud before I find what I was originally looking for. With my own — kind of a Sagittarius trait — bright, shiny object fascination? Paging through the spurious results gets to me. Takes time, and I get easily distracted. “Oh, look what’s for sale!” That’s the problem, and there really isn’t an easy solution; however, being aware of the problem? Yes, now we know that there’s a problem here, sifting through miles of dreck to get to those few nuggets of golden information?

Capricorn

There is a certain burden of responsibility that falls on the shoulders of the mighty Capricorn. This cloak, to me, this looks like a heavy, winter woolen. Looks like a mighty form of outerwear that is durable, functional, and weighted. To me, this looks like it is weighted with responsibility. There are days, and I was watching a young Capricorn, kid wasn’t much older than three or four years at the time — fishing buddy’s kid — and the child was gathering toys up, parking all his tiny trucks in a “garage,” and then shouldering a backpack because he had to “go to work.” Remarkable to see such devotion and drive in one so young, but Capricorn children tend to be really old souls. Thinking about him, gathering up his toys and stuffed animals, packing up his gear, so to to speak, just reminded me of this week’s burden on the Capricorn shoulders. Saturn and his influences are worn like a heavy, woolen cloak, durable, functional, driving, and weighted with responsibility. Like that kid, admit, he was having fun being serious about work. For him, playing was working. Kids, huh? As a Capricron, faced with the onerous mantle of responsibility draped about your shoulders this week, can you joyfully face the day like that kid? Pack up your toys.

Aquarius

I always swear I’m going to eat healthier, less meat, more veggies, and any number of other promises, right? I’m sure you’re familiar with both the promises we make to ourselves and then the way temptation has a way of inserting itself — right there — in front of us. Temptations are merely that. A single, “Seemed like a good idea at the time,” fleeting thought. The ability to override those thoughts? That’s what is required from the Aquarius mind. Just an ability to think it all the way through. Just a pattern wherein, usually we pause for a beat before jumping in.

Need to pause for about three beats.

We’re not totally out of the woods on confusion, and daffy memories that seem to clog the brainwaves in the Aquarius mind. Illusions and deceptions might not really be illusions or deceptions. Then, too, there’s always that chance the way we perceive — the Aquarius mental perception — that might be accurate, only, we might not like it. There is that. And that not liking it but seeing it totally? It’s a special skill, seems like you’re the only one to see it this way. No worries. Eat more veggies. That temptation that pops into our mental eye? It’s merely offering a diversion, not a real pathway, and diversions are just that.

astrofish.net/travel for appearances

“Nothing runs on automatic.” – L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.