Horoscopes for 3.26.2020

This might be the pate of a politician, which this ass now o’erreaches, one that would circumvent God, might it not?

Hamlet in Shakespeare’s Hamlet 5.1.37

The horoscopes are served with hope towards a better future.

Horoscopes for 3.26.2020

Aries

Aries
Brand new start. Brand new start. Brand new start. As an Aries-compliant astrology author, I understand that sometimes a little repetition does ya’ll good. This is one of those times, next few days, happy birthday, by the way, and what this means? There’s a new start. Then there’s another new start. Then there’s yet another new start. Brand new stuff, over and over. Do not be afraid to kickstart the same object two, maybe three times. One place I used to love for good BBQ? Seemed to go downhill. I tried it a second and third time, and by that third try? Again, transcendental BBQ, tender, moist pork ribs with a hint of flavor slow-roasted on the outside, making it even better. Then the brisket, perfectly tender yet filled with the hint of the smoke from the wood itself, probably just rubbed in nothing more than a little salt and pepper. No sauce required. Perfect stuff. First try? Not so good. Second try, not it yet. Third try? Perfection. Brand new start X 3. Maybe. Maybe X 4.

Taurus

There is an inherent strength buried in the Taurus psyche. I figure it’s part of the original wiring, a certain strength and resilience, a certain resistance to fleeting changes, and way of accepting the situations for what they are. No judgement. Might try relying on that internal Taurus well of solitude and internal order to make sense of the current crop of headlines.

A certain acceptance of matters, as they are, for what they are? That kind of grudging acceptance helps a lot. I tend to think of this along the lines of typical Taurus decision process, slow, to some, pedantic, to others, but, in my mind and the Taurus mind?

“Carefully considered.”
What?
“I’m still thinking about it.”

Helps a lot if there’s an answer for why no decision, for good or for ill, has been rendered up by the Taurus, just yet. “I’m considering all the options, first.” See how that works? Buying a little time, and making sure that this isn’t an ill-conceived notion; nor, for that matter, jumping on the first bus out of town. Take your time, and use that inherent inner strength of (Taurus) will power to see this through. No big hurries.

Gemini

They are everywhere, and this is their week. Watch for it. You’re going to encounter what one buddy refers to as “Stupid smart people.” Literate, ordained, tenured, and in command of 5 dollar words? Sure. Lacking any shred of socially responsible or even half an ounce common sense? Sure, that too. Hence the name, “Stupid smart people.” From my perspective, I run into these guys largely on the software side of life, and in the trenches with programmers, especially. The stupid smart people are the bane of the Gemini experience in the next seven, maybe ten days. They are every where, whispers one Gemini voice. What to watch out for? Make sure your Gemini self is seeing them and make sure your Gemini selves aren’t — in part — becoming them. The Gemini intellectual is without equal, we know that, but the idea that you shoot off your mouth before you think the thoughts all the way through? That can create a situation wherein you look just like those stupid smart people, and that’s simply not the real situation.

Cancer

Looking at a coffee cup from a national chain? The place makes an effort to appear local, with each franchise operation tuned to appear like it was just a little place in the neighborhood. National chain, though. Looking at the coffee cup? It said, “Locally grown.” I'm not sure what was locally grown, the coffee? Unlikely. The trees for the coffee cup itself? Again, unlikely. The eggs and the greens, maybe. But they probably came from some warehouse, and I’m not sure it was really local. But what do I know? The emphasis was on appearing like it was locally grown, as that’s the buzzwords used these days. In Texas? I’ve been local since forever. Not a new thing, here. but to see a national chain, advertising like it was local? I’m unsure of how that works. Maybe it’s the help, the staff, the waitstaff for sure, all locally grown, so that’s a good guess. Maybe that was the reference. I don’t know, not for sure. However, as this week progresses forward, you’re going to encounter situations, and if you pause long enough to think it all the way through? Seems more like bland words designed to make you feel better rather than factual and supported by evidence. “Locally grown.” I was locally grown, up north from here, but definitely Texan. I am locally grown, but you can easily verify that data. Careful with hyperbolic claims.

The Leo

“Ah but the horns, they blowing that sound” (Sultans of Swing, Mark Knopfler.) Lyric, with attribution. Just a simple lyric. Not much more than a lick. Think that it came out before my time. Not that it’s an issue, but yeah, before my time? So this is about an echo of lick that we’ve heard before, dearest Leo. Echo of lyrics, playing on the oldies station, or now elevator music, or strains from some time in the distant past? Part of what this is. But part of what this is? Someone has to be blowing those horns to make the sound. Personally, I prefer the image of The Leo as the director of the orchestra, but it could be as simple as the The Leo playing the horn himself or herself. “Themselves,” really should use the royal “We” for The Leo.

Virgo

Gas stations. The local variation, Valero, the stations all have this sound, advertising, that plays while filling the truck with gas. Little hybrid I was filling up, sips gas, doesn’t guzzle it. But the obnoxious noise was suggesting that family time needs ice. Ice and family, like, putting a family member on ice? Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s the way my brain works. Maybe, it’s the planets. Who knows what the problem is, what I heard, “Ice” and “family.” “Ice the family? Wonder how much that costs.” I know what I heard, while putting petrol into the vehicle. That kind of slight misunderstanding or, “sleight of ear?” It happens. As a vigilant Virgo, one must be always be on the look-out for such items, such forms of audio idiocy. With the motions of Saturn, there’s hint that the obscure, obtuse, and frankly silly shows up. How you deal with it? Know how much ice a family of four might need? How would you take that?

Libra

Fishing buddy of mine is retired. Lives in south Texas, snow-bird style, maybe six months out of the year. The rest of the time, he’s here in town. So for six months, he’s barefoot, beaches, fishing poles, and so forth, down along the Gulf Coast, with the rest of the snowbirds. Leaves before T-Day, returns a little around spring break, depending on whether he wants to rent his place out to spring breakers. Some years, depends on the market, he’s back, and other times, “Fishing was really good,” and he stays. Depends. When he spend a few months back here, he does all his medical stuff, “All the ‘ologists,’ you know?” Then he runs down a list of specialties that tend to end in ‘ologist,’ like gastroenterologist, rheumatologist, neurologist, and so forth, cardiologist, I think is in the mix. This is a time, like my buddy, now that the spring breaks are over? Now’s the time to tend to the rounds that need attention, like my buddy? Each week, it’s another kind of doctor for some part of his body. Libra: might not be doctors, but there’s some rather routine maintenance that requires your attention. Now, even.

Scorpio

It was a Scorpion image, then notes about the female versions. Allegedly. Strong, vibrant, knows what she wants, is willing to reach for the stars, and, likes to be pampered. Wait. There was a contradiction in terms, and then, the material itself was designed to fit anyone, not just Scorpio. Best of both worlds, or a very apparent contradiction, or, in my simple (non-Scorpio) mind? A hypocritical statement. Looks good, but you can’t have it both ways. This image, and its short, accompanying text? This sets a bad example for Scorpio. Maybe it is a platonic ideal we can shoot for, but seriously? If one knows anything about Scorpio, then a basic understanding includes that bit about the Scorpio’s shell, can be quite tough. That’s the good news. The compassion? Yes, it’s there, but this isn’t a week for that. Good time to be the tough part of the equation. Unless, of course, you like bad astrology.

Sagittarius

It’s well-understood that I might not be in my right mind. Doesn’t stop me from observations, and as such, my own humor tends to be a bit skewed, at best. It was the front door of national retail chain, the front door was locked. Store usually opens at 8 or 9 in the morning, I don’t know, but it was well passed spending time. Doors were locked, and a couple of employees were milling around the entrance, at least one, either management or management-training, was talking in an excited manner into a phone. Think there was some theatrical hand gesturing, just makes for a better image. While I had business I wanted to transact, there are days when the opening manager is unavailable, and the second or third in the command chain are also unavailable, and the store’s doors just don’t get opened in a timely manner. I doubt they are going to lose my business, and I doubt my one attempt at a deal that morning, I doubt they will really miss me that much. Besides, in as much as I live in a computer-automated era, there are still many aspects of life that require a human touch, and that’s where the problems start. In the next few days, as goodly Sagittarius, we’re going to stumble into a situation, for us, this is a temporary block. A partial slow-down, not a totally stoppage. I whipped out my own phone, and made notes, looked at a chart of the heavens, wondered if that store had any Aquarius in its chart, and made more notes. That’s my Sagittarius approach to the situation. That’s also my suggestion on how to handle the little obstacle that seems to be in our way. But remember, I might not be in my right mind, all gentle and understanding.

Capricorn

Little trick I learned, or rather, a small idea with lasting consequences? Old fishing buddy was a trainer (day job), and his secret to success? “Everyday.” I questioned him several times about this, how his process worked, and the longer version? To be honest, the longer version would take up too much space, but what it amounts to?

Every day.
Every damn day.
Every morning, first thing.

Get up, get dressed, or in some cases, just stagger out the door, and hit it. I was thinking about this in respects to a new fishing technique I was trying. So, in its time, I could spend an hour, more like about 20 minutes, casting a lead weight with a little flick of my wrist, just right, and I got better. When I lived on the lake, I would do this with ease, as there was a body of water right there, and this became automatic. The secret to define Capricorn success? Train, every day. Practice that skill, whatever it is, every day.

Aquarius

Saturn is about structure. Saturn is about time to grow up. Saturn is about the drudgery of life that makes us whole, the day-in and day-out tasks that help define who, and what, we are as humans. Saturn does present difficulties, to some, but those difficulties are merely cleverly designed obstacles that have some kind of lessons attached to their challenges. It’s how we, especially Aquarius, it’s how we surmount that which would oppose us. What I would suggest, in one form or another? Action. Just some kind of forward momentum. Or forward motion that can — at a later date — be built into a forward momentum. For now, it’s matter of just taking a step forward. Rolling with it. Rolling it forward. Something. “But the wall is too high, we can never climb that!” Not with that attitude, Aquarius, not with that attitude. All this requires are first steps.

Pisces

The alignment, happens once a year, as long as Neptune is in Pisces, but the alignment? Spreads doubt, sows confusion, and creates illusion. Deception is too strong of a word to use, at least, in most cases, the word “deception” just doesn’t convey the correct essence. Still, there’s a sense that something might be amiss. Get that feeling, Pisces? There is something amiss, or a little out of synch. This isn’t “bad,” but this is also super-easy to misinterpret — and that’s the source of the troubles. There’s a body of thought, a canon of work, a set of established principles that we all trust and adhere to. That’s what I’m suggesting could be misunderstood. This isn’t a long-term influence, but more like a blip, “I thought, wait, no, maybe, uh, wait a second here, doesn’t this belong over there, and doesn’t this then mean that?” Yes, an emphatic affirmative. Wait. No? I’m not sure. Unsure of worrying too much with this decision process? Put it off until the air clears. Or the water settles down, whatever metaphor works best, just maybe not now, because I’m pretty sure that there is some material that your Pisces self is just not seeing quite right.

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“Nothing runs on automatic.” - L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.