Horoscopes for 4.30.2020

    “How many fond fools serve mad jealousy?”

Lucinana in Shakespeare’s Comedy of Errors 2.1.111

Horoscopes for 4.30.2020


I tend to see that as seriously exciting material, but then, I’m not a Taurus, and I don’t have that Taurus sentiment. However, as a patient, outside observer — fanboy, if you will — of “all things Taurus?” This is good stuff, but there’s a degree of action required. As birthday a Taurus person? There’s a degree of vacation urged. Balance action against caution? We wind up frozen in place, the ubiquitous “Paralysis by analysis.” See, this is where I earn my keep, as all I’m suggesting is gentle form action. Could be a text, email (for me), phone call, or, in a simpler example, I will stop for coffee and say hello to some buddies. Not a big deal, in and of itself, but then there’s always one, “Hey, you’re that astrology guy, right? What does the ‘Uranus in Taurus’ thing mean?” Means, as a Taurus, even the simplest of actions will be rewarded. But it does require some action.


Sagittarius is the polar opposite from Gemini. So I kept thinking of a Mark Twain quote, from his Puddn’head Wilson calendar, from the story of the same name, all of which is collected and collated in my Pink Cake book, but I kept thinking about a single quote. It holds the answer about how Gemini might be best served when facing this week’s energy.

“Put all your eggs in one basket then watch that basket.” I’m too lazy to look that up, but yeah, sounds about right. With the energies flowing in and around with planets doing what they’re doing, yeah, just as a suggestion for Gemini? Instead of getting distracted and split up, and normally, that’s a good way for you to be, but instead if dividing that copious Gemini attention? Direct in one area. Focus on putting all of the Gemini eggs in one basket, then carefully guarding that one basket.


Foundation elements — too often, the Cancer, Moon Child energies won’t think about the long-term implications of a decision. This is one of those times when the best way to face the phase of the moon? Think about the long-term, then longer-term implications of the decisions. “It’s just a lunch,” one would say. But do you want a relatively healthy meal with long-lasting side effects that are beneficial? While I dearly love me some BBQ, eating huge slabs of roasted, dead animal isn’t always the best choice. I happen to know a few places where BBQ is a special treat, but yea, no, not always the best choice. Perhaps a healthier alternative? Planet-based proteins, and such, tend to be better in the long term. That’s merely an example. Still, it’s one that’s worthy of note, shooting for the leafy, green stuff for a meal rather than always reaching for a greasy, fat-laden burger? To be quite honest, I’ll eat all three, and it doesn’t bother me — but I’ve found that I need some balance points, and this is a week, gentle Moon Child’s stomach, remember? This is a week to err on the side of caution and careful eating, and thinking, long-term, about decisions. Not to say that I won’t sneak out for a drive-thru burger, or some BBQ, but this might not be the week for that. Think about decisions that can have lasting effects on our delicate Moon Children’s life.

The Leo

Client called the other afternoon. We’d played phone tag, and she finally got me. Different time zones, and there’s always brief amount of confusion surrounding that. Typically, this is a person I’ve done consultations with for years. We have a shared history, over time. So, she gets fifteen minutes of my time, usual rates apply, only, she didn’t pay right away. First off, it was a ticklish astrological time, and second, well, I don’t have a valid excuse for her. She didn’t pay in a timely fashion. However, recall that there’s a shared history, and there’s a sense that this works out. This applies to The Leo because, at some point, this feels like a time when someone is taking advantage of your good nature. Your good, kind nature. Your magnificent benevolence? It was a short reading, and it was tough time for her. Milk of human kindness? Anyway, a few days later, I get a “thank-you” card with more than enough cash in it to cover the time. As the wonderful Leo, understand that you might not see results right away? But you will be more than properly recomposed. Eventually.


I was toying with some digital images for a side project. Just messing around with a phone camera and seeing what looked like what. I realized, maybe a 15 years ago, I built a small, digital “studio” on my desk in a trailer in old South Austin. A yard of cloth, a couple of objects to hold objects, and what was a cool camera (price/performance) at the time. I used it for a short career buying and selling on eBay. What I noticed was that better images fetched higher prices. The image I captured using a phone, no exotic lens and no expensive hardware, just the phone itself, the images from the phone, in a short span of time are infinitely better than what I could do with a dedicated desktop studio. In a few short years, the ability to capture, manage, and adjust digital imagery has grown that much. What took the better part of morning with arrangement, lighting, testing then manipulating the digital images? What used to take a few hours? It’s just a click or tap on a phone, and then, the image is ready for prime time. I can still recall digital video cameras that were large and required a dedicated team of technicians to keep the hardware running. Tape? Didn’t that actually go on an analog version, magnetic tape? In the time it takes to read this horoscope, all the way through, and spot that one typo? There’s been a dramatic shift in Virgo land. Technology keeps moving quicker and quicker, and we have to wonder, can your Virgo self keep up? In my digital image example, I just adapted my existing working flow and made it all quicker and easier. Be nice if this recent advance makes life quicker and easier for Virgo, too. Easier to work from home, but do you want to?


Ever go to kids’ sports events? Little leagues of tykes, and young parents, the assorted hanger-ons, and camp followers? I was at one game, and it’s kind of fun, for me, to follow, not the sport itself, think it was actually a spring soccer league for 6-year olds, buddy’s kid, think we were fishing later, maybe take the kid, I don’t recall. Lakes are officially closed t the moment, but...

However, there’s this one couple, a bitter, rather spiteful divorce. The dirt is deep on both sides. They both attend the kid’s games, but the separated parents have to sit on opposite bleachers, with the weekly custody parent getting the home team. Kid just rolls his eyes, thinks his parents are “cray-cray.” The dad was there, the other morning, and at 8 AM, I heard a distinctive noise as a can of beer was being opened. I looked over. “She’s got the kid, sun’s over the yardarm, what the …” Beer: it’s not just for breakfast, you know? This is a classic example of no one but the lawyers getting richer. This is also an example of how not to solve a Libra problem. No, it’s not about “beer for breakfast,” if your Libra self can handle that? I suggest you go for it. No, this is about how we handle little problems. Vengeful, willful acts at another person? That has less of an effect than one might surmise. I thought it was vastly amusing, but I’m not the ex-wife, the aggrieved ex-husband, or the kids stuck in the middle.


For some of us, this is behind the next tree. For others, over the next hill. I’d think about this as one of those days at the lake when the fish aren’t biting in any of the usual spots, and I kept shifting positions, motoring all over the little lake, looking for that spot where the fish are biting. There’s a kind of restlessness associated with the way these planets are moving, and that incessant need to change location, always wondering if the Scorpio goal is just beyond the next horizon, that’s what this is about. However, not like this is news to anyone, but the constant shifting of positions results in much activity, but frequently, this kind of restless action — change for the sake change — doesn’t bear fruits. Doesn’t result in Scorpo success. If I only get one shot at this for you guys? Pause. Stop. Stop fidgeting. Stop moving when everyone else is not moving. Or, in the fishing example? Cast a bait three times; no fish biting, move. Maybe, instead of stopping after three tries, perhaps just changing to a different pole with a different kind of bait? Then, after three more tries? Go back and try that first one, same spot. Instead of a state of constant motion, consider trying to let everyone else catch up with you. Or at least let the fish catch up.


One of the most dangerous positions to put a Sagittarius into, a potentially deadly arrangement? It’s where we compare what we think about ourselves, to what we perceive outside of our general sphere of being. Dangerous because it leads down a path that the results devolves into mere fear and loathing, and not in a fun way, either. The stars etch a particular, and to some, peculiar pattern this next few days. In Sagittarius, this opens up the portal which leads to the downward spiral, a trap, a mental situation wherein the thought process makes this for an image, to me, looks like water swirling around in the toilet.

There has to be an internal method for halting the exponentially increasing rate of entropy in the Sagittarius mind, some steps that can be taken to keep this from happening. Once we start our downward spiral, there’s little hope of stopping it until we drown in self-pity, liquor, or some other substitute. There is an answer. There are several. Silly Sagittarius, do we even think about looking for that upside, before the descent into merciless misery? Whatever thought process is at work that has predictable and deleterious outcome? Stop. Replace it with good thinking.




Not long ago, I was recounting an old, illustrative tale about my early experiences in Austin. There was a point and destination in mind, and the biggest challenge, as I stated to set the scene for the tale itself? I got lost in my own details. I forgot how much I adored that location, living in a trailer park, and how it was a good experience, and the time spent fishing out my back door, how much fun that was, in its time. Then, too, there was the social aspect of that lifestyle, “community” before it was a buzzword. As an additional point, the old Austin scene was largely — very — supportive of the creatives. See how the details cause a misty-eyed fog? Therein is part of the problem, as there’s a temptation for Capricorn to live in the past, and that doesn’t work. Need our copious Capricorn Attention facing forward at this time. As I’m fond of suggesting, it’s ok to glance over our shoulders, but we shouldn’t be looking backwards for more than a glance. The hazard is running into something in front of us, if we don’t pay attention to where we’re going. But did I ever tell you about the the time, I was living in Austin …


Intrinsic in all, but most pronounced in this week’s Aquarius flavors? There’s an innate, very human, ability to see, feel, and believe in something that might — or might not — be true. However there’s always that innate need to believe in something. Want to believe. Desire so savagely with the heart of Aquarius hearts that yes (or no), that this is, or isn’t, true.

With one branch of my family, this shows up very clearly as denial, and the way the planets stack up for — and against — Aquarius? There’s that need to know. Need to see, touch, feel, need to believe. Herein is our weekly conundrum, see, that need can’t be answered by anyone else but the internal Aquarius answering machine. Can’t come from me, can’t come from them, can’t come from the siblings, family, or extended relatives, no, has to come from that internal source. Which is part of the problem, as my own, internal source? My own psyche? My brain? It will lie, cheat, and steal, given half a chance. Just an opening, part of my brain will fill my head with lies, half-truths, dreams, visions, and so much non-reality that my regular brain never had a chance. The answers, such as required by Aquarius this week? All the answers are internal, just make sure you’re getting the real track, not one of the dissembling little liars — like my own brain.


Venus and Neptune serve each other as what I call, “Trigger points.” In this definition, the term “Trigger” refers to switch that is activated, and releases a component to perform an action. Like pushing a button, or tapping on a touchscreen, some kind of action that results in another kind of an action. Buried on the website is a banner that has two circles, one at either end, and the text between? “Push one button, see what happens.” It used to trigger an automatic number generator, a random function that brought up the text from one of my books about what signs get along with what signs, and how that works. Or doesn’t work, sort of depends. The planets, especially Neptune and Venus, that triggers a response. What kind of response? Sort of depends, now doesn’t it? Push the button, see what happens.


Every astrofish.net horoscope comes with a certificate of authenticity. I can’t recall, I saw that one someplace, and thought it was, at best, especially in context, amusing. Technically, each one of my horoscopes does have a security certificate attached to the transmission, so yeah, each one does have a certificate that guarantees — I’m not sure what — something. While I don’t pay too close attention to such details? As an Aries compliant astrologer, I do know that you need to be assured that this going to work out correctly. I thought about pulling together an official looking certificate that certified that this was a certified horoscope and licensed under my name, but that begin to look like a bit too much work. Besides, anyone with a simple word processor can bang out a certificate that looks official, even with a generic-appearing seal of some kind. Seal of approval, and genuine, certified? All of that? Any kind of of formal recognition? Starts within Aries, first.

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“Nothing runs on automatic.” - L.W. “Bud” Shipley, Jr.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.