Horoscopes for 5.14.2020

These are kind creatures. God what lies I have heard! Our couriers say all’s savage but at court.

  • Imogen in Shakespeare’s Cymbeline IV.ii.32-3

Horoscopes for 5.14.2020



“The beat goes on,” and adjust that term as need be for your individual Taurus tastes. But the beat does go on. Other day, I was helping in a situation, too hard to explain but I was keeping company with brilliant 5-year old. He was tutoring me about plants. I inquired, later, and he had been in outdoor preschool of some sort. He knew plants and he knew which plants were edible, and he knew how to get sweet pollen and nectar from certain flowers. Bonus: he knew the difference between what was edible and what was potentially poisonous. As the Taurus birthdays unfurl, think about me following around a kid, and in his tiny kid voice, explaining what was edible, what was the best tasting flowers, and what I should avoid. It was an engaging 45 minutes, for me. What I realized, and what I thought about in respect to Taurus and birthdays? Always be willing to learn from the most unlikely of places. Never know who the teacher will be.


It was a red string tattoo, one around her left pinky, and one around his right thumb. While I am certainly not a palmist of any sort, I’ve been around enough of the palm readers to know a line or two. Besides, the symbolism? Is that not clear? Her pinky. His thumb. Relationships and the way couples interact? Big issue. Also, doing that as a tattoo? That would, in my mind, cede one’s destiny over to another, for all eternity — or the lifespan of the ink. My guess?

First guess is this isn’t a good Gemini tattoo, either one. Total control and totally controlled, neither one works. However, in this approach to the Gemini season, let’s visit that idea of control and controlled. Who’s really in charge? Then, too, with the metaphysical meaning of the red thread? That frightens my Sagittarius self, ceding total control to someone else. Frightening; horrific. However, as we get closer and closer to Gemini? Think about who is in charge, at this moment. It’s not about the big picture, not anymore, this more about finite details, just for now. “OK, right, so, yeah, I’ll do what you say, this (time period).”


The term I’ve always liked was “Mining the subconscious.” If that’s a little too esoteric, how about listening to the part of the brain that most people don’t listen to? In the simplest version of this, as an exercise, first, I’m right-handed. Cultural artifact, but the way it is. However, to work around that? I will doodle with my left hand. I’ll try and write notes with my left hand. Again, I’m very much right-handed. So this exercise is more an exercise, and less about a finished product. All I’m trying to do is connect with material I can’t otherwise connect with. There’s a time and patience element, then there’s the idea that the way a typical right-handed person brain is wired, forcing the use of the left hand create new neural pathways, or something. I don’t know. What the exercise is designed to do? Jog that subconscious Cancer brain into motion. Get the Moon Child’s juices flowing in a different way. I have a little notebook with boxes, arrows, and various shaded zone, just as a way to try and dislodge the thoughts that seem to escape my conscious thought. It’s about process, development, and willingness to try a little trick to uncover what the real missive is, for Cancer’s week ahead. Write with the other hand, if only for a moment.

The Leo

I know I wrote this one down someplace, and I can’t find it now. It was a cute expression that suggested “Managing one’s expectations.” In other words, if someone has a history of always being late, expecting that person to show on time is unreasonable. Or, I have this one fishing buddy, and he’s always on time. I mean, just about always on time. Usually. Normally, I could set a timepiece by his correct actions. “I’ll be there in 28 minutes,” means he’ll be pulling up, out front, in exactly 28 minutes. Usually. So, unlike my one buddy who is perpetually late, I can expect that one buddy to show in a punctual manner. The other guy? If we need to leave at 9:00 AM? I tell him 7:30 or 8. He’ll run late, call frantically with an amusing anecdote, and then, eventually, arrive — both of these example of well-managed expectations. The trick is, times being what they are? Realize the guy who usually runs late by about half an hour or more? He’ll show up on time. My punctual buddy — who is never late? “You would not believe what happened on my way over here today…” The art of the excuse. Leo: manage those expectations. Doesn’t matter who it is, they can be counted on to be different in the next few days.


Among certain friends, I’m known as a paragon of virtue and bad taste. “Just watch what Kramer’s doing, then decide.” As a Virgo-complaint person, I know what’s right and wrong, and sometimes, I err on the side of “fun,” which might be wrong, but makes for a much better tale to tell later. That’s the caution and the trick, this next few days. I’m just suggesting, you see one of your friends, always fun, but sometimes of unsound judgement about certain matters? But always fun? That might be the person to follow for the next week. Maybe follow, but not too closely. Which is part of the trick. Bad examples make great stories, but this is a time, given where the planets are, to let someone else set the bad example, then, as the dutiful Virgo, you can report what does, or usually in my case, what doesn’t, work. Bad decisions made by near friends and cohorts? See how lucky this makes Virgo? You’re absolved of the actual guilt, and the idea that you should’ve warned us? I’ll bet you did. “You probably ought not do that, oh dear.”


Maybe a decade back, my doctor prescribed a low dose of a fairly common drug. Efforts on my part to improve that area of my health were less than successful, and I acquiesced. Over time, the prescription went from the name-brand drug to the much cheaper generic name. Deal is, I never learned to say the generic name. I call it by its name-brand name, to this day, ands I skip trying to pronounce the compound’s long, chemical-sounding name. In a similar vein, all soda, soda pop, or similar carbonated sugar water? All of that is called “coke” even though I tend to drink Dr Pepper — if I’m having a coke. The name of a thing is the same thing as the thing itself, except when it’s not. Careful with naming conventions. As we course our way through the next Libra week, it’s like asking for a coke, and getting a Dr Pepper. Or, I ask for the pharmacy to refill my “name brand” stuff, and the counter worker asks if generic is OK. Yes. There’s a certain kind of confusion around naming conventions, and it becomes weird this week. “Is generic OK?” Yes, that’s just fine. Same compound, same effect, costs less.


Urban fishing is different from those who live in the wilds, or people who escape the cities in order to engage in fishing. Urban fishing is its own creature. Coastal place, not far from here, I was chatting with a guy, and I asked about timing. “I fish when I can, so I can’t do it based on the tides and whatever, but what I’ve learned? Where to fish when the tide is flowing one way or another. What places are best for certain conditions (and settings).” As a Scorpio compliant person, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out at the first Scorpio response would be to go and stand in place along the shoreline, and wait for the fish to come to that one spot. But the guy I was chatting with, he was making the best of the situations. Some mornings, before work, stop by and wet a line. Some evenings, on the way home from work, stop by and wet a line. To make this work best, to view this with the greatest results? Adapt. Adopt and adapt. Incoming tide? That’s one place. Outgoing tide? A slightly different bait and different place. Slack tide? Dead bait on the bottom. I’m unsure of how much factual data he shared, as fishermen are prone to guarding secrets with embellished tales. However, as this week rolls up on Scorpio? Think about the idea of not being optimal timing, so adjust the presentation and location.


For most of my professional career, I’ve urged for a certain group to always rely on their “committee.” The committee, in this case, is usually a group of friends who look out for each other. In the most classic form, this is a group of girlfriends who gather and vet future dates for other girlfriends. One person turns her thumb down, but three more give us a thumb’s up? It’s a go. Flipping around the decisions process, all seven friends suggest that some action is not a good a idea? Might really do our Sagittarius selves a favor and listen to the advice. A single dissenting voice from this committee, that isn’t a big deal, but when a whole circle of friends suggests, “No?” Might want to pay attention. While the example that came to mind was about women and the modern variant of dating? This applies across the board in a number of different fashions, and our Sagittarius selves are best served listening to the advice of others. Take a consensus. More than one. The greater the sampling, the better the results. Could be something as simple as, “Do I look good in this shirt?” One “no” is not a problem. Seventeen, some like, “Ah hail no,” points to a trend our sweet and demure Sagittarius selves should listen to. What do you think?


There are any number of slogans that would help with the current state of the Capricorn stars. The problem that I see? Most of those slogans might not really do well on a T-Shirt. Might do well in some quarters, but in general? Not really applicable to a T-Shirt. Something worn brazenly and boldly across the chest for all to see. I mean, sometimes it’s OK to have some innuendo, or pointedly barbed commentary, but there are times when it’s better to err on the side of caution. Think, ask your Capricorn self, “Would this be a slogan I could get printed up on T-shirts?” I mean, I know we can get them printed up, but can we wear those T-shirts, with the message displayed, in polite company? The term, “Polite company” might also vary a little bit, but I tend to think in terms of my fishing buddies with kids, and can the kids see the message? That’s sort of a way to gauge this week’s Capricorn-sponsored slogan. Will it fit on a T-shirt? Is it safe on a T-shirt? Or, with some of my longer passages that I quote? Not only does it have to be safe, but it has to fit on T-shirt. All questions to help you proceed forward.


I was poking around and happened across an image from a series of ideas by a 5th Grade teacher. Apparently the teacher staged part of the classroom to look like a crime scene and then had the students engage in figuring out what happened. Teacher labeled it a huge success because of the student interaction. From my very limited exposure to kids, I would assume every interaction would have the potential to look like a crime scene. First glance, without the “crime scene” tape, could be any ordinary “day in the life.” Those of us who’ve spent any time around the little breeders of infection, disease, and filth? Yes, just about any interaction with (just about any) group of children can result in a crime scene. My experience is that kids are messy, unruly, and sort of a portable disaster area. Then, too, so much fun. But then, I never claimed maturity, just that I was the adult-aged one in the room. While I question the teacher’s claim that it was a successful interaction in keeping the kids interested, I wasn’t there. As an Aquarius, and with this current state of planets? It has to be a hands-on experience. Social distancing? Just because I heard about it, read about it, or saw it on TV — or the web? That doesn’t make it real. Has to be experiences, by Aquarius, first-hand to be real. Follow the guidelines.


To me, an astrology chart is a map of the heavens. A navigational tool. It’s a useful set of symbols for figuring out where we are, what our skill sets are, and what can be used in the future. To me, it’s a lot like a language. I think of language itself as an operating system for the brain, and then, by extension, astrology charts are maps that show us where we are, what’s up, and where the dragons are. Dragons are mythical creatures that tend to not exist outside of the imagination of many. Doesn’t mean that dragons aren’t real, just — I’ve never seen one in real life — myself. So the idea is that this is a map to help avoid the psychological mistakes in life? Sort of a better way to go about it. The very Pisces challenge these next few days? How to go about mapping one’s own destiny, keeping that idea in mind, that there are still dragons out there. In the old school maps, when the earth was flat, the term meant that the area was, as of yet, unexplored. There are still portions of the Pisces psyche that have yet to be explored. This is a time to think about mounting an expedition to see what might be within that Pisces mind-set.


Not like this is original, but it’s the waiting that hurts the most. In the example proffered, and in my own experience, the longer the line of disclaimers, the further away the “but?” The worse it will be. The longer the set of conditions, the the more words that stack up, the way this goes? That single pane explained so much in a short time. That’s the hanging fear in Aries at the moment, that, wait for it, you know it’s coming, you know there will be a clause that will interrupt this whole fantasy that “things are going well,” for now. We’re stuck waiting, at the moment. Can’t fix that. But what we’re waiting for? That can vary. “Is this going to be good, or is this going to be bad?” The windup suggest, well, it should be good, and here’s that kicker, the single one we’ve been waiting for? “But….” The planets suggest there’s a kicker, and I’m suggesting you wait for it before proceeding forward, Aries.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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