Horoscopes for 10.29.2020

“Mad world, mad kings, mad composition!”

Horoscopes for 10.29.2020

All Hallow’s Eve, Dia de las Muertas, All Saint’s Day. Scorpio, too. Mercury is Retrograde, currently in Libra, and Mars is still Retrograde in Aries.

Scorpio

ScorpioThere was a time when I was suggesting a form of art for a certain Scorpio, and this was art as a form to practice, not to consume. I was thinking, “erotica,” which turns into bodice-ripper romance to some and straight-up porn to others. Early in my career, I was tapped to write “Erotic Scopes,” and I liked the challenge because it was supposed to be “sexy” without showing actual sex. Avoid the obvious similes and only use allegory and metaphor to describe what is only, at the very most, implied. Good challenge, and one that stretched me as a writer. I appreciated the exercise, it lasted a year or more, and forced me the stretch my skills. Halloween allows Scorpio to be daring and risqué in ways that otherwise are just not possible. Which is what this is about. What this week is all about? Being Scorpio sexy while not showing any flesh. Alluring with no exposed flesh. Bit of a challenge, but the upcoming holiday should provide the birthday Scorpio with a plethora of ideas.

Sagittarius

Before the end of this calendar year, our Sagittarius selves will face seemingly insurmountable challenges. The reason I suggest this is by the end of this calendar year? Before we get there, and even before the birthdays arrive? Insurmountable challenges. What?

By the end of the year, we will best, overcome, and surmount those challenges. Slay the dragons, so to speak. I like the idea of taming the dragons, maybe not slaying them, because, in my experience? Dragon meat tends to be rather chewy and none too flavorful. Much more fun as a pet rather than as supper. However, the idea of slaying the dragons, or even taming our challenges as we confront them in the coming months? Not going to be easy. Not going to be a gentle task, and it looks like it is darn near impossible, hence the “insurmountable” moniker for the challenges.

We will overcome the presented problems, but this isn’t going easily. Step out of the mix and look over it all? Much easier to see a way through this insurmountable mess, at the moment. Step out of the problem and look from on high or something, Sagittarius. Think: “Big Picture.”

Capricorn

Ever talk with the comic book guys? The “graphic novelist” people? There’s a separate world, and one I might not totally understand. Doesn’t stop me from feeling a kind of kinship with the artists. I was working with one guy, and he’s a writer for graphic novels. Comic books. Call it what you want. As the writer, I would think it was an onerous and arduous task to wrestle a bunch of narrative into a few single panels, and think: thought bubbles and short sentence. I couldn’t even. No way. “I used to write screenplays, so this is lot like that, as I have to describe each panel with that’s happening, the angle of the image, and what’s where,” he was explaining. There is so much more to it than I thought. I never did outright dismiss the art form, just stacked it in the pile next to rap, dub-step, and hip-hop as a form of expression that I don’t quite “get.” I understand that it’s art, and valid, but no, I don’t totally get it. Not a problem. Listening to the one guy, I think his background was writing screenplays, and that was how he tumbled into writing comic books. Similar skills sets. As a Capricorn, what we’re looking for is a compatible use for an existing skill set, like, a background with writing screenplays works out great as a graphic novelist. Compatible use for an existing Capricorn skill-set.

Aquarius

The “internet” is great for obsessions. Comparison shopping, tilted product reviews, and other ways of looking at new products, or new ideas? New desires? One of the best uses for the inter-webs. “Let me give you a hypothetical,” is the expression for the Aquarius week. The understanding that goes with this? Hypothetically speaking? See how that works? There’s a new kind of fishing pole I think I need. First I research the brand, and find out how long they’ve been fishing, and building gear. Then I look at the usual biased reports, the cherry-picked nice reviews with maximum stars. Then there’s “price comparison shopping,” looking at the product, online, in several different retail locations, see who has it cheapest. Then it’s back to the reviews and see if I read that right. Plus, there’s the manufacturer’s own site, with the obligatory plugs about how this is the latest technology, and years went into perfecting the design, and this product will work better than any other, the usual hype. Finally, there are the real reviews, buried on some ancillary site, or straight up blog post by a dissatisfied customer with a real complaint. That single complaint points to flaw in the execution, and maybe the years and years of testing failed to note the problem. This kind of obsession? Only comes with the internet as a tool to drool, think, ponder, then? I passed on getting the new toy — seems inherently flawed, but I was obsessed for a week or more. As should be Aquarius. Look, think, ponder, obsess, but maybe? Not the right time to buy.

Pisces

Pumpkin Spice Pisces? No, I can’t do it. Pumpkin Spice horrible-scopes? No, again, I don’t think I bow to convention. Not my style, besides, other than the one girlfriend, I am pretty much not a fan. I mocked this the first time it happened, and I was aware of it, but I don’t think it’s much amusing, not anymore, but the first of the Pumpkin Spice crap-fest showed up when the thermometer was still easy cresting a hundred degrees, so not a time when I think of hot coffee beverages soiled with obnoxious spice-like flavors. Not my thing? Might be yours. Might not. But the “I just can’t do this” attitude? For a Pumpkin spice Pisces anything? Right, now that you see this, you just don’t have the emotional, or mental, “bandwidth” to deal with these questions. When the next Pisces problem pops up? Quote me, and you’ll be happier. Quote? “No, I can’t do it.”

Aries

Looking at the way this week falls out? I kept thinking, “Aries has all the answers that Aries needs,” only? Getting to those answers is proving more difficult than one would like. Don’t blame me. Well, you can blame me, won’t be the first time, nor, we suspect, the last time I’ll get blamed for something I didn’t have a hand in, but never mind my troubles. The Aries spirit, right now, contains all it needs to find those proper answers. With it being Halloween and stuff? There’s a sense of fun that can be had with this, like turn it into a halloween-styled game, or challenge. Better yet, I once worked at a Halloween party, and I was set up to do card readings in a corner. Purely for entertainment, and I was charged, by the woman who hired me, to make sure all my readings were light and fanciful, with no dire predictions. OK? Okay so far. During that time, I flipped up my tarot cards, kept the material light and fanciful, and still, I delivered good messages,with more than one person being “spooked” by me being eerily accurate. Packaged up as “entertainment,” there was a definite message in a number of the readings. Likewise, for Aries, package this up as Halloween entertainment, but listen for the real messages sandwiched between Mars and Mercury, in their states of disarray.

Taurus

With the planets where they are, what we’ve got to look out for? What Taurus should guard against? It’s the obsessive streak. I was thinking about hurricane season, and then I was thinking about obsessively watching the twirling masses of clouds that became a tropical depression then form into a tropical storm, then, over warm waters, strengthen to hurricane strength, and then, this has been a week or more, we watch as it slowly slams into coastal areas, flooding, mayhem, destruction. Louisiana been hit, two, three times this year? World markets tremble. Cataclysmic ends. “The horror, the horror.” The Taurus link was obsessively watching — and worrying — as an impulse comes off the Horn of Africa, and then, the local weather guys make guesses about trajectory, quality, strength, and points of impact. The deal is, this starts with an impulse off the coast of Africa, and obsessively watching that weather pattern can be maddening. I don’t know the exact statistics, but maybe a third of the atmospheric pulses like that become tropical depressions, and maybe a third of those get to be a storm, and maybe a third of those, or less, have impact on my life. From clouds over Africa, to screaming “the horror, the horror,” there’s a bit of a stretch. Long stretch. That’s what I mean about obsessively watching some particular action. Besides, when this horoscope is up? So is this year’s hurricane season — we hope.

“Nothing to see here; please move along.”

Gemini

For several years, perhaps decades, I seemed to be a collection point for stories about Mercury in Apparent Retrograde Motion. Mercury “Going East,” as the astronomy folks would say. The simple planetary mechanics of it? Happens three or four times in a year. Close enough. In the midst of it, at its worst, this can be really confusing and seriously frustrating for Gemini. Like right now. Ideas? You got ideas. You’re great. But four out every five Gemini can’t communicate the ideas quickly or properly. The message gets jumbled. The data is corrupted.

So this is about the narrative thread of the life of the Gemini, and how that thread is unraveling. Or how the thread is scattered, unfocused, and all over the place just now. Or how the narrative thread doesn’t even seem to exist. Seems like a random collection point for facts that may, but apparently don’t, have any connection to each other. “Where was the story going?” I know you had a point, as that Gemini spark is in there. But the rest of us? We’re all having trouble following what you were driving towards with the data that you were presenting. Look through a few of my own horoscopes, you’ll find that you’re not alone.

Cancer

There’s a kind of credibility we’re all looking for, a way to be validated. Buddy of mine, he’s got a kid with one woman, and they aren’t together anymore. For Halloween, his current girlfriend was doing makeup for my buddy’s daughter. For the 9-year old (his daughter), the makeup was a little too realistic. She had on a nurse’s uniform, added fake blood and fangs, so it was a vampire-nurse crossover. That was ok. The eye makeup, though, and the rest of it? Looked a little too professional for a child.

Kid looked good.

“That’s just not right.” Just about the last year that kid will be out collecting free samples of candy, current restrictions considered. Not that last time she’ll look good in make-up, best guess. This is Halloween fun and games gone astray, for my buddy, and to no small extent, for me, too. Seeing the adult version brings up several questions, what the current girlfriend did to learn how to apply stage makeup so well, and then, what to do about his daughter, as she looked so good, that child will be a problem in the very near future. However, this weekend, for the illustrious Moon Children, the missive is simple, stay in the moment. Let’s not examine some of this too closely, not now, not until the holiday is long past.

The Leo

The LeoGreat costumes ideas, excellent costume executions, and perhaps, the greatest Halloween pranks from the days gone by? Or, another way to think about this? A “Greatest Hits” volume. Collection. Being The Leo? There’s been more than one greatest hit of all time from your canon of works. Time to dig up The Leo greatest hits for Halloween. This is old material, pieces, gags, gifts, that we’ve covered before. Not new. Little late to the party for planning a totally inclusive Halloween experience, but then, this is not just about the immediate holiday, but the thematic element that runs through all of The Leo life, currently unfolding. Dig back. Dig deeper. Poke around in the folds of the fabric of memory deep in the recesses of The Leo brain. Started with the idea of a “Greatest Hits” kind of review, but that becomes a central idea. We’re thinking about looking back and selecting a couple of the better Leo moments from the last years. That’s where the gold is, baby.

Virgo

“You know it’s cold when the FedEx guy wears long pants.” UPS, USPS, interchangeable with any number of package delivery guys. I’m early for us, but that was the comment, a few days back. Looks like there will be an earlier than usual cold snap. The old drivers I used to see frequently, they would be wearing shorts pretty much year-round. This is South Texas where it rarely snows. But even in the snow? Or, I can think of one time, a few days right after the big freeze? Sun was out, everything melted, and we were snowbird-perfect 70 degrees again. To me, this is a more urban kind of observation, like, when certain birds leave a place and head for warmer climates, or when there’s an obvious migration, or when the leafs change colors. Around here, that leaf thing doesn’t usually work. What to watch for, this next few days? Watch to see if your UPS guy is wearing long pants. Means it is winter and the cold has arrived. Virgo: “It got so cold even the UPS guy was wearing long pants.”

Libra

Train wreck time? No, it’s like this, we can see that there is a wreck coming. That much is really, really clear. We can see that isn't go end well. Not even end sort of good. No, this has “bad” stamped all over it. Not going to get Libra directly, but, and you know there was a catch, the longer you watch this impending train wreck? The longer you spend rubber-necking, gawking, staring, or otherwise observing the train wreck? That gasp of breath, at the point of impact? Yeah, watch out. I just have this distinct impression the stars incline as well, that there is a train wreck, and even though your Libra self would like to prevent it? You can’t. Then, watching it unfold, possibly Libra-perfect slow motion film? Watching it unfold means you’re not paying attention what’s in front of you. Might become collateral damage, and no one wants that.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.