Horoscopes for 11.5.2020

“By my troth, your town is troubled with unruly boys.”

  • in Shakespeare’s Comedy of Errors 3.1.63

Horoscopes for 11.5.2020

Mars is grinding to a halt, Mercury goes un-retrograde, and Venus is opposite Mars, then there’s the Jupiter and Pluto alignment with Saturn as a leavening agent. What that means? Is your town troubled by unruly boys, too? Makes it a comedy of errors, maybe? One Shakespeare scholar used the term that “Farce is accelerated tragedy.” Think that sums it up? In the days ahead?


I was recently complimented on my selection of floral print shirts. I’m a little scared to call them “Hawaiian Shirts,” because most of mine don’t come from the island of Hawaii. It’s easy to tell the expensive ones from the cheap ones, if one knows the difference. Most of mine are cheap. The trick is? Look at the pocket. The really good shirts? Besides being linen and silk with real wood buttons, the shirt’s pattern aligns with the pocket. On my cheaper ones? If there even is a pocket? It doesn’t line up. Little trick, and I got complimented on my selection the other day, made me think of the difference between the nice ones and the cheap ones. Made me think of Scorpio. “Nice and cheap?” No, this is about attention to details. Little details that are obvious, right there, in front of us. Little, easily observable telltale clues that are clearly visible? Right in front of Scorpio? Happy birthday, now, pay attention. Little clues, right in front, easy to see, easy to decipher. Right there — plain sight.


Comic strip, each week, same graphic, a single character image but the lines in between? The copy changed each week, with sardonic, sometimes sarcastic missives. Same four frames, just snippets of text in the thought bubble. Not much to work with, but therein is our Sagittarius challenge — work with less to make more.

The same four panels, it’s a rather structured and confined space within which to work, but as a good Sagittarius, we’re up to the task at hand. In the example, this was a long running, oftentimes suffering comic strip, done with a very spartan, sparse set of line drawings and I think the text itself was set on a typesetting machine, giving sharp definition to the otherwise drab background. Interesting format, went on for years. Kind of hard to keep up with that sort of output, too, but this week, next few days, next ten days maybe? A very narrow framework, tightly framed, with room for nuances aplenty. Still, four panels, same artwork in all four. Just the text, what are we going to write.

“If I had more time, I could write a shorter horoscope.”


Valid question, what is the shelf life of a pop star? How I got that question? One of my old standards is Jimmy BufffettCapricron (Dec. 25.) One of my fishing buddies had a Jimmy Buffett channel playing on the radio. An aging pop star was signing one of Buffett’s tunes, a cover song type of delivery. That made me wonder, what’s the shelf life of a pop star? A Capricorn like Buffett? Think he’s still touring. I recall, from the stage, a few years back, Buffett talked about running into Willie Nelson and asking about retiring, with Willie’s reply, “Retiring from what?” However, in the case of the aging pop star, covering the Buffett song? What’s the realistic shelf life of one of those one-hit wonders? These questions come to the forefront of the Capricorn mind, with the operative words being, “Shelf life,” as that applies to any number of situations, lifestyle choices, and the shape of decisions, especially in this next few days. “What’s the ‘shelf life’ on that?” That’s the best question, or another way to look at that? “What’s the ‘best if used by’ date on the bottom?”


Extrapolate from a single definition? I’ve seen it done. One of the problems with hiring a “ghost writer,” then giving that person just a series of keywords? There’s a whole set of epic tomes that come out of the digital sweat shops and those pieces of writing are based upon simple keyword associations. Looking at one, I realized that the simple association was what they employed, and then a thesaurus or just a dictionary, to come up with a half-dozen ways to repeat the same Aquarius message. The problem being, this doesn’t adequately cover the breadth and depth of the Aquarius soul. As the single author here, I “do my own stunts,” which means I write everything. The problem with a single keyword extrapolation is a missed opportunity to play around with nuances and variations on themes, and a chance to look a little outside the established set of parameters — and definitions. Yes, there’s something a tad bit strange going on, and yes, even weird by your own, internal standards. The way I see it? Embrace that stranger than usual influence, it’s about being comfortable with a level of oddity that’s previously unknown. The unknown doesn’t scare you, does it? Facing the unknown with a single word might not be best approach.


Delusions and illusions. Sleight of hand. Feint left, go right. Or fake right, go left. What to watch for is the illusion of one answer and the facts themselves don’t support the answer. Raised, as I was, “facts” — consensual reality — was always a mutable element. Anything “etched in stone” could easily be rewritten as more data came along, or as the whims of the family would drive it. The notion that some “fact” was hard and fast? Relative. It was my relatives, too. Part of this is a function of a crazy, chaotic cast of characters — my family. But part of this is about the same set of parameters currently facing Pisces. Consider that facts, concrete understanding of the situation? Consider that the understanding might change as more data comes in, and that can change the outlook. The problem, and the solution, to some? Understanding that. Delusion, illusion can easily swap places. Be wary that certain desires might not be easily obtainable in the immediate future. “Immediate future” is the next few days, that’s all, the illusive nature of Pisces reality is more illusive than usual, that’s all. Fake left, then fake right, and then? Fake left again. While everyone else is dancing to the left and right? Pisces can casually stroll up the middle, unencumbered.


Back in the bad, old days, one of the buzzwords, a term much bantered then battered about, and one that grew organically? The celebrated cause, unbeknownst to the participants at the time? The experience that everyone wanted to curate, but the best ones were developed out of a singular need to be together?


There’s an impromptu neighborhood group that gathers at a local coffee shop most weekday mornings. Community. There’s a group of waitresses that fawn over my buddy’s kids when I take to them to eat at a diner-like place. Community. There’s a late-lunch BBQ sampler crowd, for me, it’s an impromptu men’s group, used to be once a week, that’s community. What Aries needs most at this time? Community, like a place, a group a sense of belonging as the holiday start to roll towards us at a full speed. Pandemic and politics aside? The list of what the planets are doing? Yeah, the answer to the Aries question? The way this works best? Find that community where we all belong.


“Layer and mix textures?” Online article I stumbled through, about how to style furniture. I’m not kidding, who knew there was a such a thing? However the advice, extrapolated from furniture, towards Taurus, the idea is to mix and match textures with layers. Or use layers of different textures, or, here, an example: got a leather ottoman, or a footstool that serves as a coffee table, right? Covered in a leather, or a leather-like substance, smooth, soft, warm, inviting, but smooth. Might be plastic. To offset that smooth layer? According to what I was reading, a folded-up wooly, fuzzy blanket is how to “style” that furniture. Interior design, styling furniture, all of that, I’m not any good at it. But I do understand certain basics, like how a smooth surface is enhanced by a warm, fuzzy blanket. They set each other off, compare and contrast, in a well-received manner. With the unsettled crap floating loose in the sky at the moment? Two actions, two very Taurus actions work, “Layer and mix textures.” Simple as that, the way through this mess? “Layers, with mixed textures,” serves your Taurus self best.


One of the best ways to judge the retail landscape in Gemini land is to monitor sales. What’s on sale, what’s gone from high-dollar to dirt-cheap, what is on the super-discounted sales sites, now? Watch the sales. My favorite example was certain halloween trinket, before the holiday, it was a set price, seemed rather inexpensive, and then after the holiday, the price doubled. Doesn’t make sense unless, one is like me, and a super-bargain shopper. Easiest way to follow me with that? “If it’s after Halloween, then it has to be cheaper, right?” Not exactly how it worked, but this was one where I was busy paying attention to the details, and while the product itself, some halloween trinket, while I never bought that? I noticed. Slick trick.

It’s a time fraught with peril for Gemini.

Recall what the price was before, and then check with the listings to see if it really is a discount price, or, if like many retail problems, it is an item steeply discounted because it isn’t any good. This about shopping and looking, rather than actually buying. About talking about taking action, really, isn’t that kind of a good deal for a Gemini?


In a sporting goods store, one afternoon, last month, I was watching, think I was idly chatting on the phone, through my mask, but I don’t recall. What I watched, casually as I fingered spools of fishing lines, an exceedingly attractive young couple, and he was buying her a fishing pole. Date at the coast, fishing, what it looked like. He was marginally more excited than she was, and I drifted in their orbits but declined to comment other than a shy smile, under a mask. She was wondering about him spending fairly large amounts on a good pole, a decent reel, and I don’t know what else. I got client call and had to dash out the door. This is about observations, and then, doing things we might not think of as a high priority but it makes our mate, date, or potential suitor happy. She had the strong legs of a runner, sun bleached skin, dark, flashing eyes, so out-of-doors wasn’t a challenge. Neck gaiter is a give-away clue. I’m pretty sure fishing wasn’t her first choice, but he was obviously thrilled she would join him. Think we’ve all been there, and what this week’s material shoves in our face is about a compromise. Worth it? They seemed happy. The guy was, for sure, as he explained the length of the pole and attributes of the spinning reel, and what conditions they were sailing off to see.

The Leo

There’s always an element that can’t otherwise be accounted for. Something a little different, a little offbeat, odd, strange — weird. After too much of my personal and professional career in Austin, I thought I had seen it all. Can’t throw something at me and say that it’s “So weird, bet you never saw that!” Well, yes and no. Yes, it is a bit offbeat, but after the aforementioned time in Austin, yeah, weird just doesn’t trip me up — and this week, when weird shows up on The Leo’s doorstep? That’s the flavor for this next few days. The left over Halloween prank, or that might be what it looks like, or, the ghostly haunting? Sure, that could be it, as well. Strange. Stranger. Strangest. As The Leo, of the three, I’d like to hear that “the strangest things happened on the way over here…” The problem is this never occurs when you want it to occur, but the flip side of that equation, the stuff that balances it out? It does happen at the best time. Mercury, remember him? Mars, and the rest? “The weirdest thing just happened, you know…”


Green Anole, anolis carolinensis, the “American Chameleon,” they are pretty common. I suspect some escaped captivity, but they are far from an invasive species, unless, I suppose, one was a bug. Then the little green lizards are monsters. I have an on-again, off-again fascination with the garden dwellers as that’s where I find them. See them. I’ve watched, back in the bad old days in Austin, as they would leap and carouse in the grounds around a defunct trailer park. Just a few days ago, I was watching as one traipsed across some brick in my backyard. Still warm in the sun, and the little guy, probably an adolescent, looked to be hunting some supper. On the paving, he was bright green, having just leapt from a potted plant, and then, as he cruised on over to the brick? He changed to a dark grey. Not exactly a camouflage — but close. Better than bright green. Seeing one change like that, almost in front of me, when I was working on this horoscope for Virgo?


Situation came up, a woman was looking at my personal library, and she was aware of a single author’s one book. Yes, good book, and one that’s in my top ten of all time, but that one author? He was quite prolific, and I have a shelf full of his works. He can’t be defined by a single text. Points to the problem for this week’s Libra, finding a single point of reference and using just that as the only measuring stick, to confuse a metaphor.

Nothing like a muddled metaphor in the morning, amongst friends? But like that one book by a certain author, judging his whole canon of work requires a much broader perspective. For Libra, using a single point of reference for making all the calls, using a single instrument to measure and calibrate, or assuming that this is the only one? That’s the problem. There are a myriad of solutions to the problems, and just saying, “It has to be this way,” does a disservice to yourself — and others.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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