Horoscopes for 12-16-2021

When spite of cormorant devouring Time,
Th’ endeavor of this present breath may buy
That honor which shall bate his scythe’s keen edge,
And make us heirs of all eternity.

King of Navarre in Shakespeare’s
Love’s Labour’s Lost (1.i.4-7)

Venus goes Retrograde Dec 19, 2021, at 26° Capricorn, finally stopping this pattern at 11° Cap., January 28, 2022.

Winter solstice is around 9:59 AM, 12/21/2021 — 12-21-21 — Sun goes into Capricorn.

Sagittarius

This is an extended birthday gift even as the Sun slowly moves towards Capricorn, with Mars frying in Sagittarius. That martian, martial energy is a syncopated drum machine, with a blistering beat, driving us forward even though, eventually? Eventually the Sun slips into Capricorn, and the headlong Sagittarius rush should be over. Only, with Mr. Mars in our sign? Not so much. This is like taking the essence of the silly Sagittarius season, and adding a couple of extra weeks to it. What’s in place at this time? Looks like it might just stay like this for the next few weeks. Is that so bad?

Capricorn

Let’s review: you know my take on Venus in its retrograde pattern, and that started, loosely conjunct Pluto, and to make this weirder? Holidays, and Venus will back over that Pluto point, one more time. Kind of nails an image to this, doesn’t it? This tends to be about the way we display physical affection in relationships. For me? I got really accomplished at the post-pandemic side-hug.

A side-hug is gentle, reassuring, and totally devoid of sexual innuendo. It prevents many an awkward situation, and that’s what this is about, especially since Ms. Venus starts her retrograde pattern right at a point where “signals could get crossed.” A single scenario comes to mind, a buddy of mine, he was trying to convince me that some other person was, “Like, she’s totally into me! I can tell!” I looked. Her legs were crossed, her arms were crossed across her chest, and she had a distinct mew of distaste for an expression. A side-hug would’ve been better than going for a full-frontal, bump-and-grind. A little dose of reality would be even better. Remember: Venus will confuse the issue. Happy holiday, and happy soon birthday.

Aquarius

I have a couple of “canned” replies I use. Earlier in this career, I sold a lot of computer-generated text reports about astrology charts, and other stuff. Relationships were always big. However, there was always the instructions for downloading and consuming the reports, and after writing the same text, over and over, I just kept it as a canned bit of textual data. Copy and paste. Made life easier, as it was humorous, or so I thought, and the introduction did tend to be well-received. In more recent years, there are certain business inquiries that I get, advertising, guest posting, or sponsorship. I have a simple answer for that, too, and it’s a bit of canned text. I used to get annoyed by the queries, but once I developed a stock answer, with an impossible price affixed, that made me feel better. Besides, I didn’t have to rewrite the text every time I got an inquiry. Just send along the canned answer. As an Aquarius-compliant astrologer, what helps, looking at the next few weeks, and the conditions therein? Work on that canned answer that is amusing, but accurate.

Pisces

There’s a distinctive party atmosphere pervading Pisces. Look: I’m all about play, fun, and partying, but.

“But what?” Pisces asks, “but what?”

But pulling together an impromptu Xmas party, that doesn’t work. Inviting a few friends over, just for an afternoon get-together? Not advised. Even if this is an event with more planning, the idea of a Pisces host, looks good on paper, but everyone else will have a number of issues, problems, or last-minute conflicts. Except for that one couple, and you know who I’m talking about, right? They’ve been at war with each other for the last year — or more. Seems like they like to fight, and that’s the centerpiece of the party, those other people and their argumentative stance. What’s worse, for Pisces? That couple, always on the verge of breaking up? For them, the “fight,” the heated argument in public? For them, that’s a kind of foreplay. Fight and make-up. Fight and make-up. However as the Pisces host in this situation? Do you want to be an observer while all of this goes down?

Aries

Look ahead to the future, dear Aries, look ahead to your future! Adjust the way you see what’s coming, what’s going on, and what might be up ahead? Adjust the way you’re looking at it. There’s a brilliant, not just good, but brilliant starting point. It’s just a germ of an idea, the tiniest of seeds that’s been planted. Nascent ideology. To me, and I’m not Aries, it looks like a tiny poppy seed. That small. Just a mere pip, looks almost like a speck of dirt — but it’s that Aries idea that can grow into a tree, a mighty fortress, or a way to take over — some aspect of your life. Look: holiday crush and whatever right now? We don’t have time for this kind of crap, especially my brand of metaphysical mumbo-jumbo. However, take an Aries minute, just a second or two, less than 30 seconds, OK? Take that time long enough to pin that idea, that concept, that ideology you want to pursue in the next year? Pin that idea to the top of the — OK, for me? I’d stick a post-it note on the bottom of the computer monitor. Someplace to remind yourself — later — that you have a plan, a goal, a direction, and a valid Aries destination.

Taurus

I’ve never been one who is afraid to steal an idea from someone else. The concept is the “Welcome to the new year” greeting card. While everyone else is trying to connect with Xmas cards, and your Taurus self is still gathering addresses for next year? Think about that idea. It’s like an Xmas, or Happy Holiday greeting card, and the launch date is after Xmas, making this less problematic, less pressure, and easier to navigate. That way, any of those stray Xmas cards that come straggling in, over the next few days? You can make sure you get something out to everyone. It’s polite, kind, and a good way to stay in touch without trying too hard. That’s the break you need, how to handle this without getting too freaked out. Steal an idea, and do a New Years Card instead. Or steal some other idea.

Gemini

I like nuanced and textured. I like material that has an essence without an overt statement of purpose or direction. I am not Gemini. The subtleties just don’t work. The subtle attempts at coercion, hints, intentional misdirection, and other methods of persuasion that depend entirely on vaporous thin tendrils of suggestions rather than bold statements? All that doesn’t work. It’s the holidays; we’re short of time; we’re short of available resources. The shortness means that the Gemini elements might be short-tempered, too. Nuance, texture, with hint of chocolate and berry? Sure, that works for a coffee, say, but for Gemini? Straightforward is the only answer. No mucking about with metaphors, especially allegories with that hint of oak, and pumpkin spice.

Cancer

Ear-worms? Know those things? Tune gets stuck in your head; can’t release it in any way? Xmas tunes are catchy, and catching, but I was thinking of an old alt-country refrain. I’m not sure what it is, alt-country, soft-rock, country and western? Not sure what to call it, blues, maybe? So that lick gets stuck in your head, inside the Crab-like shell that surrounds your cranium, am I right? I just hope it’s not an xmas tune, as those are annoying. But we do, we get something stuck in our Moon Children heads and can’t seem to let go. Because of the nature of the holidays, and what we’re looking at? Find a friend, confidante, or trusted personage, in which to confide, like, if this is an ear worm? Tell them about the song. What the song means, what they song means to you, how the tune moves you. Simplest way to excise that demonic tune from your head? Tell someone. Or better yet, sing it. Karaoke at an Xmas party? I’ve seen it done.

Leo

The perfect expression for The Leo? Perfect expression? No, this just came out almost nowhere, but I did do some advanced research, spinning the planets around, and I even consulted some texts. Just trying to get a way to express this energy, properly? The best expression, for The Leo?

“Off the record…”

It’s the “dot dot dot,” the ellipse, the suggestions of a continuation provided that the conditions are met, that is, this is “Officially unofficial.” Or, like they always say? “Off the record?”

Yes, “Off the record” means this can’t come back and bite you in the butt. It also suggests that you know something useful, which you do, but what you know can’t be used in an official capacity, and by adding a disclaimer? That just helps the whole process. Make it officially unofficial. Remember, like all my advice, my adoration for The Leo? The official line?

Speaking, “off the record…”

Virgo

Coast. At one point, one Virgo will look at me, and ask if I mean, like the beach. No, what I’m suggesting, once we get past the Full Moon along the Sagittarius/Gemini axis. This is like a long, downhill slide, like a gliding in, with no apparent source of power, other than gravity. I was thinking of coasting downhill. Another example? Last fall, we blasted across the lake at full speed, until we maybe a quarter mile from the creek inlet. My buddy abruptly shut the motor off, and then, hit the hydraulic tilt, lifting the prop out of the water. We coasted in towards that inlet, almost dead silent. We didn’t have quite enough momentum to make it all the way, but we were close enough to start casting, and catching, late fall bass action, by coasting in. So for Virgo, got an image of coasting? It can be in a variety of different forms, but it’s banking on momentum already established and riding that out.

Libra

Raised, like I was, the very Christian notion of “Lent,” a time of abstinence? Pervasive in my upbringing, and I’ve found, to a certain extent, a little bit of enforced abstinence improves a number of situations. We’re setting up for a long year ahead, and it doesn’t look like it starts well for Libra. So, as an idea? Borrowed from that notion of “Lent,” a biblical time of voluntary frugality? What I’m suggesting is that a version of “Lent” starts early — really early, but look at this like an enforced — or totally voluntary — situation where abstinence is the key. Give up one Libra vice. Gluttony, sloth, avarice, over-indulgence in sugary delights? Pick one. Don’t have to stick to it, but between Libra, me, and the lord (whatever that looks like to you)? There’s a suggestion that practicing abstaining, in the height of the holiday? That serves well once the new year gets here and gets underway. Think of this as a jump start to a new you in the new year. Give it up, now.

Scorpio

Not that there isn’t a level of insanity already present, given the way things are, but this just adds to it, the Solstice falls right after the Full Moon. While there are two, very different energies present, navigating them will be tricky for the good Scorpio. One is about “harvest,” as in reap what you have sown. The other is about new beginnings and getting a fresh start on the new year. Plus, we still got that pesky pagan Xmas holiday thing going on. Two things, no, three things, but to tie it all together? If I can do that, I have a bunch of new Scorpio friends. So what this is about? It’s about getting ready for the New Year, with all its promise of a new beginning, and between now, and then? That new promise? Simply some clean-up. Attending to pesky chores, plus enjoying the holiday, but attending to — maybe just a single — nuisance task that needs to be finished before the New Year starts. You got some time. So? Get after it.

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