Horoscopes starting 4.7.2022

Now does my project gather to a head:
My charms crack not; my spirits obey; and Time
Goes upright with his carriage. How’s the day?

Prospero in Shakespeare’s The Tempest (V.i)

Horoscopes starting 4.7.2022

    Jupiter and Neptune align exactly on April 8, at 23° Pisces.
    Mercury enters the Tropical Zodiac Sign of Taurus on April 10, 9:10 PM. The Full Moon is April 16, 1:54 PM at 26° Aries/Libra.

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Aries

Aries The ongoing Jupiter and Neptune collusion, collision, or conjunction, kind of depends, but the ongoing effects? Affects us all, but in Aries? This lands at a place where it stirs, to me, this looks like Aries ancestral memories. Could be as simple as remembering what a grandparent taught. Could be as weird as a dream about a past life. Could be, and this what usually happens, an Aries day-dream that becomes a fantasy and then building on that, with the excuse of ancient and ancestral teachings? This becomes a driving force. The dream, might very well be a fantasy, might be more, but it is firmly rooted in the airy space of non-reality, and as such? Might be real. Might not be. Therein is the issue. Therein is the problem, and I don’t build this as a problem without offering a solution. “That’s one opinion.” That’s the answer, and the answer to all the pressing, especially the birthdays this week, all the pressing questions? “That’s one opinion.” Firmly anchored in understanding this might be real? Or might not be real? Understanding that? Then the best answer? “That’s one opinion.”

Taurus

My sister turned into a “pen aficionado,” or a “pen geek,” depending on the time, and place. She got to where her work desk has about three different containers full of various pens. Calligraphy, pointed, feathered, water color, oil, pencil ink, from less than 3/10’s of a millimeter to crayon-type. Over the years, she extols the virtues of one writing instrument over another, and uses this one for drawing, and this one for light sketching and so on. It’s stuff I vaguely understand, in form and content, but only barely. Me? I use a ballpoint pen, maybe a mechanical pencil, and Sharpie markers. The Sharpie (permanent ink) markers are my favorite because it’s a broad, definitive stroke, that can cover up a multitude of sins. Works on most near every surface, and when I’ve been working with a Sharpie, I tend to really be an ink-stained wretch. I switched from the various tools to just a Sharpie a decade back when I was burning CDs for clients. Cheap and fast, broad strokes. Is that the clear hint for Taurus? I hope so. Clear, fast, permanent, after a fashion, and easy. Cheap, fast — broad strokes. No intimate details. No trying to make it perfect. Just a quick glyph, a simple symbol, maybe words or letters, but the material doesn’t have to be intelligible. Fast, cheap, and done with broad (for Taurus), done with a quick slash of a stroke. Broad strokes, covers a lot of general ground. Easy. Cheap.

Gemini

There are numerous images of people making egregious boating mistakes. A favorite one is a truck in the water, up to the windows, and the boat on trailer behind it, high and dry. The more I shifted the planets around in the Gemini charts, the more a similar image came to mind, never happened to me, but I could see it happening, especially to a Gemini, slowly bailing out a boat as the ship sinks, and the bailing bucket just isn’t up to the task. More water is pouring in than the bucket can evacuate. There’s my Gemini in the back of the boat, smiling, and slowly bailing the water out. For each bucket that goes out, two more pour in. See the problem? “No, not a problem, I got this!” Sure you do. It’s really not a Gemini thing, but the Jupiter/Neptune alignment in watery Pisces.

Cancer

Fake Evidence Appears Real, it’s really an old acronym dredged up from any number of self-helps resources, but look what that spells out? Fear. There’s always my other version, Forget Everything And Run, but this week’s Moon Child mission? Figuring out what’s real, what’s not real, and what presents a credible threat to your own safety and well-being. For almost all of y’all, that perception of threat is less about a real, and verified threat, and more about a situation, or person, that appears to be a threat to one’s own emotional well-being. It’s about appearances of threats as opposed to real and tangible threats. It’s also about self-delusion. That illusion of the perception of the threat? That’s what is most dangerous. Flipping that around, though, there’s the absolute denial that there is any problem whatsoever — again — dangerous illusion. It will work out, but I’d be more circumspect about courses of action. Test, test a second time, then maybe move forward.

The Leo

There’s a series of steps involved in tying a Palomar knot. Simple enough, and after doing this for several decades, I’ve developed my own version, but as a series of steps, it’s like a ritual. That’s the approach I’d like to take with my very special Leo friends, following all the steps, exactly as dictated. To some? This is simple enough, “read the instructions.” We all know how I am about that, not a happening thing, so what does happen, I’ll try, fail, look at the exploded diagram, then get an idea, and Ill try that, still, I’m missing a crucial step, and eventually, this is the third or fourth try, I’ll read the instructions all the way through, and realize I missed a single, kind of critical step in the process. There’s a series of steps that might seem redundant. There’s a series of steps that might seem convoluted. There’s a way to do this, as spelled out in the instructions, and all I can suggest, for majestic Leo? Don’t skip reading the instructions. I can save you a lot of heartache and headache. Read all the instructions and follow all the steps.

Virgo

At the rock shop in Austin, a putative, nominative “home” for me? There was varying degree of familiarity I developed. At one point, I would wander into the “Employee Only” areas, with relative nonchalance. Persistence, a standing gig for several years, an impromptu “residency” as the astrologer, and one of the featured, in-house readers? Yeah, I got familiar with the front office, the back office, and the store room. I’ve even got a couple of images from little kitchenette, employee dining space, the usual, “Wash you dishes” sign over a sink full of dirty plates and coffee mugs. The corona and pandemic lock-down changed that, a little, and for a while I was masked up, and one time, I got caught with my mask down, and I was severely rebuked. This builds on a kind familiarly that I realize is a luxury and blessing, not a right. It’s not earned, or given, and I got to the point where I would ask if it was okay if I ducked in the back to see my buddy. Know me in person, this can seem like a mock solemnity, but I do make an attempt to stick to the conventions, and I act like a guest, not like another employee who assumes that someone else will pick up after me. Virgo: assume nothing.

Libra

Mercury moves, eventually, from Aries into Taurus. As a cosmic event, no big deal. As a small, yet perceptible shift in the temper of Libra? Yes. Good or bad? Kind of depends, as I am wont equivocate. There are days when melliferous, dewy words drip from my mouth and I can assuage the most savage of intent. Then, there are days when I open my mouth and manage to offend everyone within earshot. Some days, I can bend the verbiage to make matters ever so much better, but then, there are days? Doesn’t matter what I say, all I can do is piss them all off. It’s one of my magic superpowers. For Libra, along with the repositioning of Mercury? Half of this next few days? You will be like oil on troubled waters, like my honey-soaked missives that are greeted with open arms — and open minds. The other half? Can’t say I didn’t try and warn you. It’s a skill, you know, being able to piss people off like that. Or a gift, I guess, kind of depends.

Scorpio

The “Press Release” was once heralded as a major form of communication. Anymore? There’s social media, online news, and trying to catch the eye of the 24-hour news cycle. As carefully as a Scorpio can, you’ll craft up a message, like a previously mentioned Press Release. The message will, with Scorpio succinctness, explain who, what, when, where, how, and why this data is important. It will be cute. Catchy, witty, snarky, whatever it is that appeals, and that data will go unrecognized. In a few weeks, there’s a good chance that it gets picked up and strewn to the far corners of the inter-webs, but that’s more than a few days away. Problem being, once you launch that thing, release the Scorpio press release, you expect immediate response. Patience. It’s coming, wait for it.

Sagittarius

The question, for my Sagittarius brothers and sisters? “What are the actual steps required to make this happen?” As a fairly typical Sagittarius energy, we are remarkable dreamers and visionaries. As the little planets shift and move, and as big deals recede and become little deals? Importance and priority are observed? Dreams. Visions, hopes, and aspirations? All of that. As we dream, we can make it happen, but we have to be willing to ask, “What are the actual actions required to make this happen?” Can’t just launch without a point-by-point plan to get this dream, this goal, this intangible ideal? Can’t just point and say, “Over yonder?” I’ll try to simplify this since some of you aren’t getting it. Where are the fish? In the lake. How do you get the fish. Need a fishing line, maybe a pole, then a hook and some kind of bait. Acquire those tools, or, like me, I keep them handy. Next, get to the lake. Where are the fish? Tend to be in the water. What are the actual steps required?

Capricorn

Capricorn isn’t happy, Capricorn isn’t going to be happy, and this is all going to be a miserable time, with one frustration heaped upon another frustration. Situations, usually involving other non-Capricorn people, failures from minor and discrete errors towards large and unfathomable problems? See how this goes from bad to worse, towards awful? That took a dark turn in less than half a minute, or as some would suggest? “Bout a minute, huh?” This isn’t really bad, just the impatient nature of the Aries energies makes this seem like it’s all falling apart, and falling faster than it should. However, before my next horoscope rolls up? There’s going to be a moment of clarity, and the stuff that looked so bad? Turns out you dodged a major problem there, and it’s onward and upward for Capricorn. “You must have on rose-colored glasses.” (Capricorn snickers). Here? Want to borrow mine? Might help before too long.

Aquarius

High Tea” is a genealogical disorder in my family. Hereditary, I suspect, the notion of high tea is that image of plates stacked with artful arranged pastries, baked goods, and finger sandwiches. Varies location to location, and there was, for a while, a very Mad Hatter kind of tea available in San Antonio. Not really the same, and it succumbed to gentrification, like so many friendly spots. I happened across a place, though that offered a variation on theme, it was a sort of high tea, and it was done with the proper amount of hot water, the way I’ve seen real high done. I had one grandmother who thought that the exquisite height, the very pinnacle of civilization was high tea at Fortnum and Masons on Piccadilly (London, UK). The high tea experience, locally, came to mind looking at the Aquarius planet placements because there’s an effort, look: locally, it’s nothing like they do in super-fancy places, but does it work? Yes. Ask yourself, perhaps this is a plebeian alternative, but does it work? Serviceable? Functional? Tasty, even?

Pisces

Two phrases I tend to use? Metaphor and cliché at the same time? “Can’t hit a moving target.” Like an object in motion is harder, if not impossible to track and fire upon. The other analogy? “They moved the goal posts.” Or, even more appropriate for Pisces? “They keep moving the goal posts.” Jupiter and Neptune, thusly conjoined, are good at creating an illusory experience. There’s a target, a given goal, an object of desire, a person, a place — something you want, you need, you desire, you’re tasked with accomplishing this. The problem, that persistent illusory illusion of the big planets in conjunction? The stated target, the state goal, the metrics used to consider the task complete? As soon as you achieve one of the benchmarks, what you were told was the destination? Don’t have to be a psychic Pisces to see where this going, you get new data. New goal, or the destination shifts, “Did I say I needed two? No, I need at least four. Pretty sure I told you four.”

I’ve warned you.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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