Horoscopes for 5.28.2022

“For slander lives upon succession,
Forever hous’d where it gets possession.”

    Balthazar in Shakespeare’s
    Comedy of Errors (III.i.106-7)

Horoscopes for 5.28.2022

New Moon 9° Gemini around 6:30 AM May 30. Mercury goes un-retrograde around 3:00 AM June 3. Venus enters Taurus around 9:47 AM May 28. Saturn turns retrograde June 4 around 4:47 PM.


Gemini Break some established patterns. This can vary, from Gemini to Gemini, and this can change, even within an individual. But the central message is about breaking an established pattern. Change, just for the sake of change, that usually doesn’t work, but if there’s a set pattern especially if you’ve noticed in the last month? That means this is the time to break that pattern. Could be as simple as the sound I use for the alarm to wake me in the morning. Can be a little more complicated, and there are at least some — you know who you are — that means wholesale change. “Day is night! Cats and dogs, sleeping together!” Wasn’t what I had in mind, but that’s a valid idea, wholesale, just flip everything around. I like the idea of a Snow Globe. Gemini snow globe? Shake it up, upend it, whatever. All the particles leave a confusing image and then, as material, the snow flakes, as that settles? The image becomes more clear. Nothing changed but perspective, but you get there by breaking a pattern.


I tend to favor loud print shirts. To some, these are called Hawaiian Shirts, but anymore, most of these are just cheap knock-offs. Been many long years, but I established a price point, and “look” that I liked. Cheap, off-brand, mismatched, or otherwise not exactly a top-shelf kind of attire. Makes the hunt more fun, for me. So there’s a set of moveable guidelines, cheap being paramount, but looks and loud, maybe as important.

Follow closely on this, in the next few days, weeks ahead, there’s a chance to fulfill all of those Moon Children, Cancer guidelines. What you’re looking for? That combination of cheap, or affordable, and good looking, but tawdry? It’s out there, you know you’ve seen it, but this might be something that is best acquired in person, not really shopping online. Think, there’s that weird set of rules, more like parameters, cheap, tawdry, good-looking to your eye, and so forth. It’s out there, just have to dig a little. That’s how I found this one, with the pink flamingoes.

The Leo

There’s a certain permanence I associate with The Leo. I joke, but I’m serious, as much as I adore The Leo, I’ll never date someone with a lot of Leo in a natal chart. Make the very best of friends, but I’m not man enough to date one. All it requires is a certain permanence — something my Sagittarius side might lack. There’s a certain fluidity, a mutable nature that eventually annoys a good Leo. The unwinding of Mercury in Retrograde played out against the New Moon in Gemini, and other elements, but just those two, basically? There’s a certain lack of permanence floating around. As The Leo, get used to it. I’ve warned you: lack of permanence. Thusly aware? You know, even though, yeah, you’re sure, “This is the deal!” The one. The forever and ever device, deal, person, place, thing. Given the lack of permanence in the rest of the sky? Distinguish between “Right,” and “right now.”


Not really new information, but I’ve long believed that one purpose of Mercury in Retrograde is to restart creative juices. I tend to use the patterns just towards that goal. Not quite yet, but the end of this week, the end of this horoscopes, Mercury is no longer in retrograde. Between that, the unwinding of Mr. Mercury, and the way material floats freely, if slightly unhinged, in Taurus

Pay attention to the rules.

This offers a time to look at the problems, and typical Virgo challenges, obstacles to some, this gives a chance to look at this material from a different way of seeing it, and that paves the way for a more creative solution. “How did you ever think of that?” Standard question, but one that you should hear in the next few days. Mercury backwards isn’t all bad, and this offers up a new way of seeing an old problem, and that gives way to a Virgo-centric solution. That works.


Give them options. Simple as that, give them some options. Give them some choices. Not always the best way to approach that typical Libra, but as the focal point off the next couple of days?

“Give them some options.”

Delineate a few choices that spell out different options, routes, ways to proceed, or even just color swatches. Like color swatches. Think that’s the best idea, fan out some choices, and maybe, pick a few that your good Libra self wouldn’t choose, but as an option for the others? Sure, it’s out there, right? Fan out those possible selections, and offer it up. There’s a subtle touch used by marketing maven and magicians, about why to choose a certain card, because, “Look! That’s your card, right?” Right. So delineate those options, and do whatever you need to make sure that your favorite choice is indicated. They won’t all pick it, but that’s not your decision, now is it?

“Give them options?”


I was looking, and I think this was at the hardware store. Rather, the big, blue hardware and building supply chain. There was a tool box, or tool chest, I don’t recall, but what kept sticking out at me? The little promotional sticker, “This is equipped with an internal bolt lock.” Don’t know what that is, and I don’t really care, but as an eye-catching sticker, in a bright color offset against the dreary concrete background? That phrase certainly caught my eye. No idea what the internal bolt lock is, but I’m glad they have it, and because they have it, do I need one in mine? Probably do. That internal bolt lock would sure help keep this secret, and is there anything as important as Scorpio security? What we’re watching for? As Scorpio struggles with opening, or closing a cover, a latch, a door, a passageway, or even just a tool box? Check to see if there’s a little hatch that’s locked in place to prevent Scorpio egress, or ingress.

Pay attention to the terms.

“Just toggle this, and it opens, as easy as can be. It’s own rollers, you know. Ball bearings — smooth and (Scorpio) silent.”


Computers, despite the coloring and fictional version, are rather inept at certain tasks. While wonderful for the mundane — like the calculation of an astrology chart? While really good, and reasonably dependable for such chores, what that chart means? The computers I’ve worked with lack the emotional depth to convey the intricacies of the psyche of a person. Then, too, it depends. But absolute answers, rock-solid science, so to speak, that’s what this is about. As a Sagittarius myself, I’ve got several examples, but the bread-and-butter of my work is easiest. Where the planets are? The Sun, the Moon, the exact locations are precisely timed and available via tables and calculation, that’s the facts. What it means? And how, what it means, as it applies to humans? Individual, and collectively, that’s way more an art. Art and science meet, in this next few days, but some of the science, the hard facts, might be uncomfortable for Sagittarius.


I started running my own site way back when. Online since 1993, and own my server since 1994, essentially, and weekly since 1995. I’ve seen a few things. I’ve been hacked, phished, and DDoS attacked. Hurricanes, floods, droughts, tornados, and more — much, much more. Still here. I read about a recent Amazon AWS outage, then Facebook was “down,” and even gmail was knocked out for a spell. I’m still here. With a simple, load-shared web-host, life goes on. I’m still here. Little, old, plucky, independent me is still ticking along, even after all these years. To be honest, I’ve worked with a variety of server farms, and co-location services, but the initial structure, and even the current technology, it’s basic. Simple, straightforward, and structurally sound with no reliance on outside sources. Self-reliance is a theme. Self-reliant Capricorn is a suggestion. All those wonderful web services look cool, and sound promising, you know, “Cloud computing,” and “it’s in the cloud.” Let’s go back to Capricorn self-reliance.


“The bass and the tweeters make the speakers go to war.” Hat tip, you know who you are. Nothing to do with the weirdness that abounds, but as an aural invitation, sure, there’s that. I know, doesn’t track with anything else, but as a “rhythmically disadvantaged person,” poor fashion sense, too, I understand my limits. With a background tune to carry a beat for me? That helps. For Aquarius, the trick is to have a back-beat at the ready. That’s a single tune, that’s morphed into a dozen variations, not bad idea, cut, remixed, and produced again. Still works. There’s a hidden link in the tune, and a hidden link, I doubt anyone can puzzle that out, but if anyone would be able to, my money’s on Aquarius.


I’ve got a new (old) favorite diner. Jim’s, as an iconic version of what a traditional diner should feel like. While recent ramifications took away the 24-hour set-up, that doesn’t stop it from being an ideal diner. With diner food. This is not fancy grub. It’s plain, old-fashioned fare, and looking? Best place to get eggs, bacon, that sort of fuel, any time one of the stores is open. Each one feels a little different, but there’s the gentle similarities, and the rough but even-handed help. Prices went up, but the quality stayed the same, dependable as ever. Once I was able to start moving about more, and working against current restrictions, plus common sense, there’s still a sense that the places will survive. As far as I know, and I know of them in Austin, but it wasn’t until arrived in San Antonio that I figured out just how good these places were. Individual, but a small, local chain, just a dozen storefronts, as far as I know. It’s comfort food. It’s breakfast, maybe some day soon, 24-hours a day. It’s basic, nothing fancy, coffee. It’s a coffee shop. I grew more enamored lately because of service, dependable quality, and the way it’s nothing really fancy so I can stagger in, no matter time or appearance. I forgot that basic is best. Have you forgotten that, too, Dear Pisces? Basic is best. Can’t go wrong with local, dependable, and none-too-fancy.


Looking it up online? At the end? “This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.” That’s a short version of my lengthy, and ever growing, evergreen fine print: the fineprint. To me, that was the bog-standard FTC compliance disclaimer. I’ve run text like that from long before it was required. Besides, I fish, and I write horoscopes. No one expects the truth from me, makes it easier to always tell the truth, but that’s just me, and Aries, of course, although we both tend to be truthful to a point of distraction for some. From me, though, no one expects the truth. All I wanted was information about an appliance, and the answer was couched as narrative, but true enough. Does that work? Sure, as long as you remember to read the fine print, at the end, the terms. and understand, too, dear Aries, this data is true at the time this was printed. Posted. Committed to publication as indicated by its publication date.

Pay attention to fineprint.


I was looking at the sales sheet. Original price? Over $1,000.00 — with a sales price of just half that. Like $595? What I was guessing, at that price? They were still making some profit, so first off, that shows how much they made off the original price, nearly twice that. But that wasn’t the main point. I’m trying my best to help save Taurus dollars. Easiest way to save some money? Don’t buy it, even at the reduced price. You don’t save over $500 by purchasing it at the reduced price; you still spent the money. It might have been less money than you were planning to spend, but you still spent it. So was that savings? Or did you just spend less? Besides, my simple solution? Don’t buy anything. Save the whole amount. I really should get a percentage of this deal. “20% of zero dollars, sure, I can do that.” These numbers aren’t working out, and I hope, this little math lesson helps you save money with these weird planets.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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