Horoscopes for Virgo 2022

“Farewell, my lord, trust not the Kentish rebels.”

    King Henry VI in Shakespeare’s Henry VI part 2 IV.iv.58

The Sun moves into the Tropical Zodiac Sign of Virgo August 22, 2022 at 10:17 PM (local).

  • Mercury enters Libra 8/27
  • Mercury goes Retrograde 9/10 at 8° Libra
  • Mercury turns direct 10/1 at 24° Virgo
  • New Moon 5° Virgo 8/28
  • Venus enters Virgo 9/5
  • Full Moon 17° Virgo 9/10

Sun enters Libra 9/23

Horoscopes for Virgo 2022


Virgo October and Libra are a long ways away. In the intervening month or so, we’ve got all the good Virgo birthdays, and notably, too, Mercury in Retrograde. While Mercury bumps into the first few degrees of Libra before starting starting a retrograde pattern, the trail begins and ends in Virgo, which will elicit an eye roll, side eye style, and general non-verbal cues that I am somehow a bad person. Long, languorous sighs punctuated with the look that this all, somehow, is my fault. I just report what the planets are doing; I’m not responsible for the timing of the events; nor, for that matters, would I pick this. But here it is, anyway, and what Mercury does, before turning retrograde? He traipses through Virgo and generally makes a mess of a number of minor, and individually not irritating, events. Phone drops a call, message doesn’t get delivered in a timely fashion, don’t have the right cable to charge the device, battery is dead, the bluetooth quit working correctly? Seen it all before. What this does? It builds in a delay that Virgo hadn’t counted on. It’s pause, a cosmic check-up, a time to take a break, and just stop.

“But I can’t stop now!”

Look at that list of problems, obstacles to some, and to some of us, just minor annoyances. If one isn’t working, then I consider it a cosmic sign that I wasn’t suppose to be working on that at this time. Thought I was, but maybe I don’t understand. Which points to the bigger Virgo issue, not understanding what we don’t know. Because of where this occurs in the Virgo chart, it does offer suggestions. Shovel a few items in a backpack, purse, or my “man purse,” and off we go. You will forget a mission-critical piece of hardware. In the spirt of the times? Improvise, and that’s what this Mercury/Birthday/Virgo time is all about. Improvise.


There are two extremes, and all I could think of was two family members. One insisted on filling up the gas tank every few miles, never letting the needle on the gas gauge drop below three-quarters full. Always prepared. The other? “When it points to ‘E,’ there’s, like you know, we can go a few more miles.” Neither ever ran out gas as far as I know, but with the more moderate variants of vehicles, the gauges tend to be more accurate. Me? I vacillate between the two since that is family, and that is how I was raised. I will run the truck down until it says it’s out of gas, and I have to grab the empty gas can in the back and hope to find an open pump. The flip side, when gas prices spike, I’ll try to keep it topped off, as best I can. The point of this month’s exercise is to determine where that need to fill the tank came from, like, when there’s almost no fuel whatsoever, or when it’s still more than half full? To some, this presents like a “glass half full slash glass half empty” set of images, and in a way, it does, but my influence is strictly familial, and this is strictly a learned behavior. What happens in the next four-six weeks, in Libra? It’s about understanding their sources. Before your birthdays arrive, there’s a greater degree of understanding the philosophical, and possibly behavioral underpinnings. Helps to know where you’re from so you can more effectively plot a forward path. This synodic slip of Mercury is about understanding why.


This is a familiar complaint from me. As an example, I’ve used this a time or two, in different media and variations. But the image popped up again, the other day, and there was an ad for an ideal “Work From Home” arrangement. “This is what you need to make it cozy, hospitable, and fun again!” Pausing long enough to figure it out, I realized, I did have a clean, idealistic, perfect “Work From Home” look to a desk, a clean desk, in the fall of 1987. Since then? I’ll guess no. The arrangement, there was a bleached wood bookshelf unit, had picture of dog, two books, a potted plant that was alive, or appeared alive, and a pencil holder with maybe three artful arranged pens. The desktop displayed had a wireless keyboard, a wireless trackpad, a wireless monitor, and a tiny paper tablet, with a neat list, and some items on the list checked off. How realistic is this? While I prefer tidy to clutter, and I prefer order to chaos? In my years writing, other than one afternoon in — whenever that was? Other than that time? I doubt I’ve ever worked at a totally clean desk, not like the image of the “Ideal Work From Home” set-up displayed. My bookshelves alone, they are crammed with books, and there is a reference shelf with an ever-rotating collection of texts, from Latin writers to current thinkers in various fields, philosophy, religion, Shakespeare scholarship, metaphysics, fishing, and more. I’ve got three or four books I’m proud of. They were not produced in an environment like that picture showed. No, it was a messy, chaotic space, like life. Scorpio life is messy and chaotic, now, more than before. We can dream about the neat and tidy space like the staged picture, or we can work with what is there, in the real Scorpio life, as it will be messy, chaotic, and yet, productive.


I’ve dealt with myth and metaphor for so long, I have trouble trying to just say, “Yes,” or “no,” to a simple question. It’s a Sagittarius trait, too, that ability to turn an easy answer into a long-winded tale of Sagittarius derring do. That being duly noted? I’ve also found that a short, factually accurate example from my own experience is lot more useful than me trying to spin up a yarn about something I know nothing about. I can only speak from my own experiences. Here’s what to watch for, this gets worse before it gets better, we start out with an answer, then get sidetracked, and then, it starts to look like we don’t recall what our collective Sagittarius destination was in the first place. This is a double-challenge for our Sagittarius selves because the Sun is in Virgo, and the Mercury in Retrograde “situation.” None of this is really bad, but it’s not good, either. Great time to pause and reflect on what we can do better, and an even better time to figure out how we can take that long message and make it shorter. More concise. Less tale, and more substance. Or a just concentrate on a simple “Yes,” or “no.” Got it?


Ever fish with smelly old “fresh-dead” shrimp? Nasty bait. Not the most offensive kind of bait there is, but as far as I can tell, really unpleasant material to handle, especially over time. “Fresh-dead” implies the shrimp were recently alive and storage or other environmental conditions led to a short trip into the shrimp after-life, whatever that is. Over the course of day in the back of the boat, though, that stuff starts to get grubby. Kind of a not-quite dead-fish smell, poignant, piquant, and pungent, getting stronger as the long day wears on. The dead shrimp smell gets worse, especially after a busy day on the bay’s water. The good point about the aromatic blend of dead shrimp, sunlight, and the tang of the bay’s ocean salt? Lots of fish. But that smell? Gets in under the nails, and doesn’t seem to wash off. That is the biggest problem. This Mercury Retrograde, and the days, weeks ahead in Capricorn? That dead-shrimp smell. It’s wonderful bait, used a lot, last few weeks, at the coast, the bay’s water is murky, but the fish can locate the bait by its smell. I don’t get that, but it’s not my place to argue with success. Pictures are on the web. The point is, there’s some unpleasantness expected with the wildly successful results. Capricorn success is dependent on something just like that “fresh-dead” shrimp for bait. Smells, stinks, even, but there are good results. Look: Mercury is retrograde, might as well go fishing.


For years, I found that the artist’s interpretation of a specific Shakespeare play, reflected in a transient art form, the cover of the play’s program, I found that to be an intensely interesting way to view a play. Condense and distill a whole play into a set of images. One feed I stumbled across was merely mock-ups of the covers for the plays, not really images that we used. Of course, Henry the Fifth is always swords, and arrows, and Hamlet is usually a skull. However, in weak moment, I started toying with an idea, and looking at the symbols for Saturn, usually a stylized lower-case “h,” and its inherent meanings include the tool old-man Fate himself uses. I kept playing with this image, and I’ve done this several times, but I know where my strengths are. Commercial grade art is not one of my strengths. Still, for a cover or poster, some commercial displays of artwork for the play Hamlet, depending on the productions settings, a symbols for Saturn might be applicable, and one that could be used to define the central titles name. That Saturn glyph could easily be worked into the play’s title. Then, too, with dead father figures, and haunting images of patricide, sure, Saturn could be a player in the thematic elements. So it works. Saturn is a current player for Aquarius, and how are you going to work in its inherent symbolism of structure and father figures?


End of summer crush, holidays, such as they are, and one more item? Hard to wrap a number of ideas into a simple statement, or paint a picture that covers it all. However, I had an idea just for Pisces. It comes at the end of the classic black and white film, Casablanca, a war-time movie and maybe that makes it feel more real. Romance, love, and war, set against the burgeoning rise of fascism in Europe, at the time. Then, too, there were legal issues, and the notion of the ex-pat American aboard. At the end, the plane takes off, the world erupts into war, and the star plus his supporting character walk off into the sunset, arm in arm, “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” That single scene, that single line, the image, and the imagery that surrounds it, all of that? Sets the tone, and that gets set off, with that previously mentioned New Moon in Virgo, and it spirals out of the Pisces control until the conclusion when a simple, selfless act cures the whole problem. As long as there’s that Virgo tension in the air? Plus Mercury and his usual curse-laden antics? After a bumpy start to the Virgo season and some rough time in between, at the end, like the conclusion of the movie? Everyone lives happily ever after. Or happy enough.


Happened a while back, I was using a desktop computer. At one time, those were cool machines, but by that point, it was an old, out-of-date, lumbering beast of a machine that would hang up on spurious details and refuse to computer, or freeze up whilst in mid-render of an image. Great machine at one time, fast, nimble, agile, but over time, it aged: less than gracefully. Great hardware that no longer did what it was supposed to do. Or, rather, it did what it was supposed to do, only slower and slower, and apparently, not at all on some days. For basic functions, it ran fine, but for complex computations that involved higher math, like rendering a video, or mixing down audio tracks, the digital manipulation of analog files? Some days that would bog the computer down. In the middle of one frustrating morning, I was trying to multi-task with several open threads, and the machine balked at uploading and downloads, and rendering a file output, all at the same time. In its time, these were processor-intensive demands with frequent i/o port access, which, in the example was also a bottleneck. The spinning wheel sat there and spun, mocking me, while I wanted that machine to do three things, at once, with lightening speed. In a short second or two, imaginary smoke came out of my ears, I turned red, I’m sure my heart rate skyrocketed in the danger zone, and I was mad. More that mad, steamed, pissed, and I shouted at the computer then banged on the desk with my fist. There was an astrology chart in on the layers on the machine, and it reminded me that Mercury was Retrograde, and I was irritated at something I had no control over, and this was a situation that would resolve — over time — and what I needed most was a patience. I had no patience. Realistically, I was making excessive and unrealistic demands on the machine. Emotionally, I was right, but realistically? My expectations for that hardware were too high. Besides, in my heart, I knew that. What this spells out for Aries? Unrealistic expectation in the next few weeks, especially if this involves hardware and computing? Unrealistic expectations meet and result in frustration. Steam, out the ears, face reddening, or me, feeling stupid for hitting the desktop with a fist, thinking that will make anything better. There’s a second corollary for Aries, too, “One task at a time.” Multitasking and unrealistic expectations lead to greater frustrations.


This year, this month, this next period of time, perhaps the next six weeks or so? For your Taurus self, this promises to be rich and fertile ground. This rich and fertile time, though, it is surrounded and decorated with the usual trappings of Mercury in Retrograde. Miscues, misfires, backward appearing redundancies, and solid proof in your own mind that “Mr. Murphy was an optimist.” Some of the happiest discoveries in scientific breakthroughs came from observed accidents. In that spirit? Success comes from anticipating what can’t be anticipated, which goes against what I tend to do, but as a way to see the current conditions? Fertile ground, only we don’t understand why it goes this way, at this time. Over time, I’ve learned that I can’t control the outcome especially when dealing with non-fixed signs, like, anyone else but Taurus. Embrace that you can’t control the outcome, blame Mr. Mercury, then understand that this is going to lead in a new direction filled with wondrous revelations. New breakthroughs! New Discoveries! Award-winning realizations! This good news is surrounded with ideas that the new material, like a number of great strides forward, it is all surrounded in the myth and mythology of Mercury in Retrograde. Mistakes, miscues, misunderstandings all lead to brilliant, rich, fertile Taurus territory, but not without a few, ahem, interesting detours along the way. Enjoy the ride. Understand the mechanics and make best use of the upside down world view.


I was on hold. Tech support issue. One of those wherein we go around and around, and around and around again. And again. English wasn’t the first language but that wasn’t the problem. In order to change, or just reset, the password, I had to enter a two-step verification that wasn’t getting to me. So, although, or even because I did change the password, the second step wasn’t being fulfilled. The foibles of our modern world, no? As a Gemini, this situation presented total and complete incompetence on the part of the technical team. A breakdown of epic proportions from the front line, the very front end of the company, the part and pieces that face the public’s eye, the consumers like me, all the way on down the line. From one-to-one with the front line in my face to the backend, where some presumably nerdy technician is manipulating some software parts, and monitoring for intrusion? Watching for flakes and fakes, and there’s the data, not arriving at my destination, where I need the information. Colossal pain in the neck. Or pain someplace else, I’ll let you decide. Here’s the answer we finally arrived at, after more than half an hour on hold, and back and forth, “OK Mr. Kramer, did you check the spam folder?” Kind of the first place I looked, but thanks for asking. What was eventually “resolved,” it was sending an error, and up to them to arrange a better delivery service. I performed some magic on my hand-held device, then muttered a few choice words that are not very metaphysical, but certainly made me feel better. 24-hour wait. The situation was corrected on both ends, but the wait? 24-hour hold on the account on account of their stupidity. As long as they acknowledged they made the mistake? I can wait an extra 24 hours. Can you, Gemini? We know the culprit is likely, you guessed it, Mercury in apparent retrograde motion. 24 hours extra.


“If only,” moans a Moon Child, “if only I had done this differently,” continues the Cancer. Yeah, I know, “If only” is the lamentable call of the next few weeks. Nothing can be done about that. If only I had gone fishing. If only I had remembered to bring a certain kind of fishing tackle I forgot to bring. If only I took the trash out before I left, then the place wouldn’t smell bad when I got home. If only I hadn’t taken the trash out, and the neighborhood wildlife hadn’t knocked over the smelly trash can while I was gone. “If only” splits into a binary situation, and for the duration? It feel like neither option is the good pick. Therein is the problem, and here’s where I earn my money, neither option — doesn’t matter what you pick — neither option is a good one. The indecision and second-guessing is heightened, highlighted, or otherwise emphasized by the transits of Mercury, into, out of, then back into Virgo, Libra, Virgo, retrograde, direct, and so forth. The indecision is the result of trying to guess, and then failing to land on the right answer, and then second-guessing, and otherwise obfuscating the data from one’s self. “If only” you take some direct action, consequences be damned, and keep moving in a forward direction. Mercury in apparent retrograde motion is the cause of some backsliding, but that’s not all bad, as long as you keep your Moon Child, Cancer self pointed forward, or whatever direction you pick.

The Leo

There has to be balance. Thinking about the location of the planets, I was working my way through what to tell The Mighty Leo about this next few weeks, and I kept thinking about balance. In short supply, these days? Therein is the problem, and the solution. Realize that balance is in short supply. Realize that this is a signature move prompted and promised by Mercury in apparent retrograde motion, mostly in Libra, but finally sliding to halt in Virgo. That’s way on down the line, so let’s reel ourselves back a space, and understand that this is about balance. As of late, I’ve tried to manage myself with just what I can fit in my pockets. Phone, pad of paper, pen, pocketknife, wallet, keys, and phone. If the car has a key fob, then that, too. The idea is simple, though, nothing that I can’t fit into the pockets of my shorts. I want to retain control of my goods, my “stuff” that I carry, and me, at all times. That’s the aim. Instead of just dashing out the door, though, what helps, think about this as a move for The Great Leo in the next few weeks, pause. Pause before you leave the domicile, even if this is just a short jaunt to the store or whatever, pause. Pat yourself down, and repeat the mantra, “Phone, keys, wallet,” and add any anything else that you need, or want, or like to carry when you go out. “Wallet, keys, phone, what am I forgetting?” Blame Mercury.

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About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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