Revenge it, as you love your mother’s life,
Or be ye not henceforth call’d my children.

Tamora in Shakespeare’s Titus Andronicus (II.iii.114-5)

Horoscopes for 4-25-2023

• 4/21/23 Mercury goes retrograde at 15° Taurus
• 4/30/23 Mercury/Sun conjunct at 11° Taurus
• 5/1/23 Pluto turns retrograde at 0° Aquarius

Taurus

Happy birthday. Practice that “Parade Wave.” Simple idea, and to fill out the details? Lots of stuff is flying around, and lots of stuff is coming unglued, unhinged, or otherwise “Just not going to the way I want it to go!” Aware of that already? I bet you are. Happy birthday. Practice the “Parade Wave.” It’s really a motion swiped gleefully from The Leo, but who cares about the source? Quickest, easiest way through the next few days? Think of the way a float goes by in a parade, and sitting on top of the float, or resting against a stand, because of the absurd costume and length of the route? But sitting or standing? Smile, acknowledge the accolades, maybe blow a kiss, and otherwise? Just the parade wave. Keep getting swept forward by the momentum of the float you’re on. Parade wave. Happy birthday.

Gemini

This is the fun part, for me. I’m not Gemini, nor do I have anything in my chart that’s Gemini. Love them. Adore them. Big fan of all things Gemini, and that’s what makes this fun — for me. There’s a level of emotional, psychic discomfort present because of the relative motion, and relative position of Mercury and its synodic path. (Mercury in Retrograde in Taurus, is the other way to say it.) It’s relative. Fun for me? That might mean, in Gemini?

Maybe not as much fun as I see it. Amusing and confusing? Sure. The planet associated with Taurus is in Gemini (Venus). The planet associated with Gemini is in Taurus (Mercury). There’s a certain level of inherent chaos in every Gemini life, no matter where Mercury is, but this one just adds a little extra confusion with the possibility of clarity but no real clarity.

Cancer

Back when the “internet” was the Wild, Wild West? My then-media handler first suggested there was no such thing as bad publicity, and mere days later, told me to stop arguing with an idiot on the internet. With relative ease, an anonymous, or mostly anonymous source can appear to be a rational person. Guess I could fall into that category, as well, but this isn’t about me. While there is no such thing as “bad publicity,” publicly arguing with an idiot? That is bad form. It’s also really tempting for gentle Moon Children, the Cancer corner of the sky. There’s a problem with arguing in public, or worse, on a phone, wandering, and the people around you can only hear your half of the story. There are several elements in play, mostly the confusion emanating from Taurus, what with Mercury, Uranus, and all. But there’s really more, and there’s a subtle shift, next couple of days, and I’m just about getting ready for it. Think before you hit the “send” button. Or think twice before you respond to that obvious Cancer slur. (“I am not moody; I’m just in touch with my feelings.”)

The Leo

This next few days will probably dredge up a bunch of crap. Not bad, just the essential, nerve-wracking, migraine-producing, self-loathing, and nightmarish-dreams that go with a few days of this kind of mental hell-scape. You’ve been warned. Won’t last long, won’t be forever, but at least one of the recurrent thoughts that won’t leave you alone in the middle of the night? One of those thoughts needs to be addressed. I can’t isolate which one. Some are just dark fantasies, some them are just out-dated fears, but one, buried in the subconscious, it wants to come to terms. Commitment? Closure? Buried? I’m not sure how this works, individually, but the greater Leo collective requires that one of those nightmare scenarios needs to be addressed in one form — or another. Varies from person to person, but as a group? It’s there. Pluto in its place, whatever it is. Might not stay buried, Mercury, you know, but at least it’s a start.

Virgo

“If you can dream it, you can be it!” Happy nonsense from the old New Age positive thinking cults. However, as I played and toyed with your charts, natal charts, transit charts, and other astrology charts? The more I messed around, the more it looked the same, for Virgo. There’s a lot more at work besides just “Mercury in Retrograde,” which, to some is a useful catch-all phrase, and a blanket excuse. But there is an element at play, within the confines of my rather straightforward astrological interpretations, and that suggests, “If you can dream it, you can be it.” While I’m a big believer that the stuff works, the power of positive thinking, meditation, drinking green tea, and other activities like that? Big fan. However, as a good Virgo knows, the real trick is the timing. That’s where I’ll let you know not just Mr. Mercury, but a host of other things, too, but just blame Mercury in Retrograde? Sure. Timing is off. The ideas are there, just might not work out quite yet.

Libra

Most of my friends dream about uncovering hidden treasure. In a single example I purchased a tiny tarot deck, and when I got around to unloading my copious collection, that one deck spiked in auction price. To be sure, it was rare, out-of-print, limited-edition, and I had the original packing. Opened but never professionally used. Just an oddity. It sold for hundreds more than I paid. That’s an example of hidden treasure. The challenge, is that time — Mercury, Sun, Uranus — Mercury Retrograde — this time requires a certain Libra filtering system. What’s good, what has value, what adds value, what an item is really worth, all of that. In my example, that deck, this was years ago, but that was hidden treasure. Libra is looking for that hidden treasure. Here’s the bigger Libra challenge: the real value of the item versus what someone else is willing to pay. Think: hidden treasure or just fool’s gold?

Scorpio

Loathe as I am to use sports metaphors? Reminds me of a situation, a baseball game. Can be any baseball game, but the team we’re rooting for? Scorpio is the visiting team. Scorpio is at bat, or pitching, doesn’t much matter, but other than few, really die-hard fans, the crowd is overwhelming in favor of the home team, and that’s not Scorpio. So Scorpio at bat? The crowd taunts and cheers, trying to shake that good Scorpio concentration. Or Scorpio pitching? The crowd behind home plate tries to break that good Scorpio concentration. Options, choices, and desires? Desire is that they would shut up and let you work. Choice is to use a zen-like state and ignore the distractions. Options? Pick something to concentrate on, and see if you can just tune out the negative noise. Mercury. Mercury, Uranus, and the Sun — all in Taurus.

Sagittarius

One of the most important tools I started using? A simple, very simple, tiny notebook “day planner.” The goal, the simplest terms, is a single image, a line-drawing, maybe a brief sketch, and, or, maybe a couple of goals. Ideas. Tasks. Events that I want to occur that are well-within my scope of taking action to “make it happen.” It’s the simple reminder, and there are notes, usually quite “Kramer cryptic,” but notes, in written form, right there for me to look at. That’s the reminder. While all of this is going, and what with the current situations? A quick reminder is all it takes. Something to jog the Sagittarius memory so we can stay on task. Stay on point. At the very least, that written reminder? It serves as a directional beacon, “Oh yeah, that’s what I was supposed to be doing” before Mr. Mercury Retrograde in Taurus knocks me off course (again). Simplest of tools, a piece of paper, a sticky note, a pocket notebook. Back of an envelope a bill came in? All works.

Capricorn

Had lunch the other afternoon, and my friend was commenting about how her husband kept saying he was going to “Do something” about the old printer. She gave up and bought a new printer, “It prints, it collates, and it’s a copier, plus, I think, it can scan stuff.” It was an impossibly low price, but what I didn’t correct, the notion that the cost of the toner, the little ink pots, whatever it uses? That’s where the profit is, and that’s — almost — like price gouging. Bluetooth? Printer operated wireless so she could print from her phone. Exciting technologies? While I usually suggest no new technology when Mercury is in apparent retrograde, this was a simple case of an expedient action that needed to happen, and if my friend’s husband had just fixed the old printer, none of this would’ve happened. Mercury is retrograde, now you know? “But does it has Bluetooth?”

Aquarius

I was looking for a very specific piece of information, and as I searched for it, winnowing the results, I found what looked like a useful answer. Data seemed reasonable. Two points, one, there was no verified source for the data set, and two? The little about me paragraph? It said something like, “About my blog, I write about stuff, and I have information.” It did not address the topic, and the subject of what I was searching for, and that made all the data suspect. Looked “right,” and looked like a real person wrote the material, but with no attributions and no sources? All could’ve been made up. Could’ve been scraped, too. Looked good, but the lack of support, and the author’s image that could easily be a stock photo? I clicked out, and stuck the information in the “probable, plausible, but not factual” category. Promptly forgot it. What I didn’t forget, and this is for Aquarius, was the stock photo, and canned text that “I write about stuff.” The very non-specific phrasing suggested that the material was scraped, copied, or otherwise lifted from other sources. The clues aren’t obvious, but the clues are there.

Pisces

I’ve spent a large portion of my time trying to explain “writing.” Written word, form of communication, or, for the entirety of my own career? Keyboard and typing. Previously observed, I have terrible handwriting. This is not new information. So when I use the term “writing,” I tend to refer to the process of tapping at something on a keyboard while new words march across the screen. There’s always the image of me, with a long feathered quill, scratching away at parchment, but realistically? Writing means typing on a keyboard. Leads to a bit of excessive verbosity, but judicious editing can cure that. However, there are certain rules, limitation, grammatical constructs, and various other formats that must be followed. Herein is the weekly Pisces problem: following the rules. Rules of the road, or, more important as of this moment? Grammar. The rules for writing. While I will accept any answer? Saturn at one end, and Neptune at the other? Whole sentences that — at least — look grammatically correct. Formal, written words. That gets your message across.

Aries

“It’s a guy thing.” What that expression means? It suggests that there is an action or just a reaction, but a direct action that seems to have no relevant causal energies attached. No rhyme or reason. Logical fallacy, is another term. Frequently, the two have the same definition. Therein is our Aries watch-word for the next few days, “It’s a guy thing.” In other words, the driving motivation isn’t apparent and doesn’t seem to be clear, perhaps lacks a logical grounding. That’s the problem. The phrase carries, and using the exact term, “It’s a guy thing?” That’s vaguely sexist, but then thousands of years of evolution and history suggest that there is truth to its logical fallacy. As an Aries? Watch out for the term, “It’s a guy thing,” and realized that there might be flawed logic — or an absence of realistic data to support to the decision.