There is a history in all men’s lives,
Figuring the natures of the times deceas’d,
The which observ’d, a man may prophesy,
With a near aim, of the main chance of things
As yet not come to life, who in their seeds
And weak beginning lie intreasured.

Warwick to the King in Shakespeare’s
Henry 4th, pt. 2 (III.i.80)

Horoscopes for 12-12-2023

• Mercury Retrograde 12/14/23-1/1/24
• Moon conjunct Mars 12/12 5 AM 12° 55’ Sag.
• Moon conjunct Sun 12/12 6:32 PM 20° 40’ Sag.
• On Sale Now!

Sagittarius

This is like a snow-globe. Because I went to schools in the Southwest, New Mexico and Arizona? I got to see the desert version of the snow-globes, a few snowman parts on a bed of sand, maybe cactus in the watery delight. Or better yet, just a dry globe. But the idea of the snow-globe, I owe an Aries for this analogy, but the idea of a snow globe? Shake it up and that’s where we are, at the moment, in the “shaking it up” part of the experience. The little globe has a swirling mess of “snowflakes,” obscuring any real view through the miniature scene. The our — Happy Birthday — challenge? Waiting until next year for the image to resolve and become clear. Hint for that one impatient Sagittarius: next year is only a few weeks away.

Capricorn

You’ve read my “Mercury is in Retrograde” prognostication, right? I’ve got a tiny book about it, just a collection of observations and possible ways to ameliorate the problems associated with the synodic apparent motions of the littlest planet. Remember, the planet’s name derives from the Roman messenger of the Gods, the dude with the little wings on his heels. What this means, for Capricorn?

More of the same. In a tired, pedantic groan, “Oh man.” There is a kind of perverse sense of bemused irritation that works, a low-level frustration with either traffic, people, lack of parking, or not enough people, or something. Mostly this is traceable to “stupid people,” who are not, as it would be obvious, Capricorn. Non-Capricorn problems abound, and the best way to avoid them? Avoid people.

Happy holidays.

Aquarius

It was fun, for me, when one of my professional associates developed a “groupie.” The business associate, she’s a rather attractive female, in my mind, and she’s a good psychic, but she’s always had poor choices in mates. I like that in a partner, I might add, but no, nothing romantic here. It was just funny, though, as the groupie was a guy who kept just hanging around and hanging around, and mooning over my friend, and she just got more and more annoyed. “He’s nice enough, but you know, no spark. And he’s a little weird.” (Well, you are professional spook, so there is that. ) How do you, as an Aquarius, how do you deal with that adoring fan who might be trying to cling too close? More of a question as I don’t have a definitive answer at the moment. But that’s your introduction to this holiday season, hope you enjoy.

Pisces

The most difficult part of this week’s energies all over Pisces? The most difficult part is staying on task. Staying focused. Keeping that first, foremost, and prime direction in motion. Keeping going the most correct way, even if the route is scattered with bright baubles, shiny objects, and other demands on the Pisces attention. City horses, and I haven’t seen many, other than in movies and stuff, but city horses used to have “blinders,” little patches of of something that prevents the horses’ eyes from wandering and getting distracted by traffic or pedestrians, or whatever. Pisces would benefit from an ocular enhancement like that, something that just keeps the Pisces eyes focused straight ahead. No giving into the stuff on the side or that ubiquitous, “Look at this, over here!” Stay on task, stay focused, and don’t let Mercury, or Neptune, distract from the Saturn task in front of your Pisces self.

Aries

At the years’s end, it always feels like there’s something crumbling, pieces of the Aries life feel like it’s all falling apart, no way to sustain the pace. “I. Just. Can’t.” I like the way that looks, and I understand the sentiment behind it, but as a Sagittarius myself, I can’t condone such a dismal outlook. Yes, it seems to be all falling down, but that means we get a chance to rebuild, better, stronger, and more important? Leaner. Instead of calling this “crumbling,” think more of separating the wheat from the chaff, and getting to the good parts. All that’s going to drop off is the bad stuff, whatever that is. We’re not in for a total overhaul, just strip off a few unneeded excesses. Simple as that, stripping away the parts we don’t want or need. Not a crumbling at all.

Taurus

There are two, minor sources of pressure. Look: this isn’t a big deal. It’s a little deal. I put together a long series of Mercury in Retrograde options, and that’s part of it. The other minor influence is Venus in Scorpio, in itself, not a major deal, but this is going to flip the tables on the Taurus holiday season. When I wrote, “flipped the tables,” the original reference was Jesus flipping over the money lenders’ tables in the temple. But in my mind? I watched a guy play chess against himself. He had a chess table, a chess game, set up on a lazy susan, so he would move one piece then rotate the game board 180°, and play against himself. Either the money lenders in the temple, and Jesus the outlaw Jew flipping those over? Or my image of the guy playing chess against himself, either one works. Maybe, given this holiday’s ratio of weirdness? Maybe both.

Gemini

I like the idea of a destination Xmas holiday. Looks good on paper. For me, with my families? It hasn’t worked, and that’s what this is about. What works. What doesn’t work. The holidays are messy, to begin with and the pressures on gentle Gemini are immense. Pressure to perform. Pressure to acquire. Wants, needs, and hungers that can’t be satiated in a normal way. Old folks have this thing, where we say, “Eat the cake, dine off the fine china, go ahead and live a little.” Given the excruciating pressures exerted by the planets (Mars), and the Sun (Sagittarius), given that energy? Trying to make anyone happy is pointless. Just try to stay afloat, that’s the Gemini goal, just keep afloat.

Cancer

One of my fishing buddies? He was asking about Mercury, and he was sort of complaining about my prognostications. He’s been married, three times? Four? I can’t keep count, and I only listen a little as he complains while navigating the boat. I suspect the series relationship failures isn’t all the ex-wives’ faults. However, he was asking about this one, and the relative position of Mercury’s pattern, and ex-lovers who never show up — for him. Ex-wife #2, she popped up the other day, and one, long-term girlfriend in between #2 and #3 had messaged him, but that was acrimonious, at best, so it was a no-go. I don’t align the stars nor do I comment on his choices in mates. I just listen. He was complaining because there were a couple of hot ex-lovers in there, and he never hears from them. Kind of a clue, isn’t it? If he wanted the hot ex to call, he could make the first move. Still not a good idea, and certainly not a good idea, drunk, in the middle of the night. Unattended, and unsupervised? That’s what can happen, and Cancer, lovely Moon Children? Not a good idea, despite Mercury’s pressure.

The Leo

I used to buy printer paper in cases. Case was ten bucks, had maybe ten reams of paper, and would last years. But over time, as business became more digital, I quit stocking paper in bulk, and I just a keep a ream or two on hand, but even that? I’ve been through less than that in the last five or seven years. Also means I have a stack of paper, close to the diminutive ink jet printer thing, paper I can reach for as need be. Why do we need a blank piece of printer paper? Dearest Leo, I’m so glad you ask. Thinking ahead, looking at next year? Start with about three sheets of paper, and each day, in the next week, write down ideas, wishes, dreams, resolutions for the new year. The “new year” doesn’t officially arrive until after January 1, 2024, so keep that in mind. You got stuff you want to do right now? Write it down, and we’ll get to it after Jan. 1. The idea is to keep a long list, “This is what I will do when Mercury isn’t retrograde (in the new year).”

Virgo

As I’ve aged, I find that I tend to favor a little less and little lighter of roast. I’ve shifted, over the years, and based upon location and availability, from exotic to proletarian, to darker and denser, and finally, to a slightly more refined, I’d like to think, palate for this current iteration. See the Libra horoscope below for more on particular roasts, and their branding. But this is about gentle Virgo surfing the next few weeks. For nearly all of us, this isn’t Life or Death, but for some gentle Virgo types, it’s going to certainly feel like that. I’ve long since run out of wall space for artwork, of any kind, but I still have an old card my sister made, “Fishing isn’t life or death, it’s way more important than that.” That’s an example of how this is, current stars in their relative state of decline. Is the end near? No. Is it almost the end of the year with a big solstice celebration and a changing of the seasons, and a changing of the guard? Yes. Is the rest of this month down the tubes? Pretty much. The cure for what ails us? Maybe just a lighter roast of coffee bean, and I prefer something cheap, but that might just be me. Or darker, I guess, depends on the situation — and what’s available.

Libra

There was a “Best of” kind of list that popped up, all about coffee. Think it was an allusion to a certain coffee-giant’s various roasts, available in stores everywhere. Towards the bottom of the list, my personal favorite, Italian Roast. What I was taught? French Roast is regular coffee that is roasted twice for the heavy, coffee flavor. Italian Roast is like French Roast, but cooked three times instead of twice. Italian Roast and Espresso would’ve been the same, at one time. I didn’t bother to look any of this lore up, just passing along what I’ve been told. Personally, besides really liking the coffee itself, I loved that logo, an outline of a little red scooter, explained so much without a corporate brand — but we all know what it was. The list suggested that the Italian Roast was good with velvety chocolate overtones, and light finish, and a flavor that was as roasted as the French roast. During Mercury Retrograde, I’ve long established a pattern of using, in bulk, the cheapest source of caffeine that I can find, lately it’s been out-of-date, possibly stale kilo-sized bags of beans at the warehouse store. All varies. Look around, though, in that bargain bin for Libra? There’s going to be something that you used to like, or that you will like, and that helps ameliorate the effects of this current pernicious retrograde pattern.

• The Fineprint

Scorpio

Jupiter’s incessant, inspired yearning is pressure on good Scorpio to get something done, and the current mercurial machination, plus common sense in approach to the Mercury in Retrograde prevents too much action. Herein is the problem. The solution is to take the Jupiter influence, and put it off until a later date. Like, sometime after the first of the year. One Scorpio chimes in, “But I’ve got to do this now!” Maybe that’s what you think and if so, then go ahead, but it’s against the wishes of the planet for that to happen, now; however a “now” might look. Wait until after the holidays before taking real action.