Horoscopes for 12-19-2023

Some say that ever ’gainst that season comes
Wherein our Saviour’s birth is celebrated,
This bird of dawning singeth all night long,
And then they say no spirit dare stir abroad,
The nights are wholesome, then no planets strike,
No fairy takes, nor witch hath power to charm,
So hallowed, and so gracious, is that time.

Marcellus in Shakespeare’s Hamlet (I.i.159-)

Horoscopes for

  • Sun enter Capricorn 12/21 10:28 PM
  • Mercury RX into Sag., 12/23 1:19 AM
  • Full Moon 12/26 6:33 PM 4° Cancer
  • On Sale Now!


Sagittarius Looking at Mars, and then, Mercury, slipping back into Sagittarius, plus the way the moon is so almost-full for Xmas Eve and beyond? I had to pause, stop, and then examine the software motor’s core. If it were a car’s motor, I would’ve stripped the engine bay of everything, then lifted the motor out, and then, strip it down to the crankshaft, to rebuild it from its base on up. The method of software that I’ve been using for nearly 20 years? It has an ostensibly open-source database to hold all the horoscopes, then a wiggly front-end that displays the stored data. I’ve played with numerous ways to store and displaying the data, and that accounts for my fascination with librarians as data scientists, but I guess that’s just me. Still, the idea of either hardening, or just simplifying a site’s output has intrigued me. As it currently sits, there are two boxes, with arrows going back and forth, one box is the container for the data — the horoscopes themselves, and the other is the front-end — where that data is displayed. 20 years is a long time with a single system, but I’m mostly concerned with safety, integrity, and storage. (Think: storage of ideas, like a book, but more random, and therefore, more randomly accessible.) As a good Sagittarius myself, I chased an idea down a rabbit hole, while Mercury was retrograde but before it got back into our sign. I found answers, solutions, and needless complications to make this all work better. Faster. Way, and I mean way more expensive. In effect, what I did? I took it all apart and put it all back together, just the way it was. No change. But I did look. That’s the hint.


When you thought is it was safe, there’s always one more. Maybe that should be a question, perhaps that would help, “Just when your Capricorn self thought is might be safe? There might be one more?” Two questions. I make this up as I go along, not sure of how to phrase it. But as a question, or a statement, there will always be “Just one more.” One more what? Aren’t you glad you asked?

The relative motions of the Sun, the Moon, and little Mercury, collectively push out any hope for rational thought. I suggested, long before this time, that all the holiday crap be attended to, and thus? Out of the way. Got it done so that the emotional, astrological, eventful times doesn’t let us get swept up in last-minute exigencies that demand attention, and those are the same emergency situations, wherein our good Capricorn selves react badly. Nope, don’t want that. Two ideas, one, I warned you and told this was happening and to get it done before hand, like, no last minute gift buying. And as a secondary notation? If there is some task that is looking like it has to be done, with urgency, “Right now?” Put that off until after the new year, or we will revisit the this again. And again and again.

As with the old pirate motto? “The beatings will continue until moral improves.”


Every time I’ve heard — seenHamlet on stage, I keep trying to remember to pull out that Xmas quote. As it occurs at the beginning of the play, I tend to forget to grab it. Looking up something else, I found my notation and remembered what it was. There’s a holiness ascribed to this time, as evidenced by the passage in the play. I’ve seen my extra-fine Aquarius peoples run the gamut from religious, to proselytizing and preaching, all the way to agnostic to the point of blank-slate belief in nothing at all. I’m not going to preach one faith, nor am I going to suggest a particular path, as I am too motile within my faith. The point for Aquarius and what is in the Aquarius charts is that the time is holy, and the system — or lack of system — doesn’t much matter. Recognize the divine order the planets and their influences, and understand that the ghosts, ghouls, goblins, and nightmares, the things that go bump in the night and might scare Aquarius? All of those things are loose because here, Northern Hemisphere, the nights are long, and the days are short.


I recall, triggered by a recent exchange, the pedigree of my academic credentials. What learned, at that exact moment, for me, wasn’t that I eventually wound up at a second-tier state school, or at the time, it was rated by Playboy as the best party school, or shortly after I graduated, the front defensive line of the football team was under indictment, no, what I realized? What I got from that school experience was exposure to critical thinking, and couple of professors who explained that the process of writing was process, with an eye to destination, but also, a never ending avocation as well as a profession. One also said I’d never make it. Think that was sarcasm, and it worked. What I learned was learning isn’t about the ivory towers, but applying real-world examples to the process. Sneered at, at one point, I don’t care. Sure, hurt my feelings, but Pisces? We know what we know.


My neighbor was getting his truck fitted with larger tires, and asked me to drive his car back from the outfitter’s shop. His last text, confirming my participation? “And put on some pants!” As a neighbor, I’ve greeted him when I can see him on the doorbell cam, I’ve greeted him with me in variety of undress. Never really naked, but frequently in a scant pair of sleep shorts, or barefoot, and just pajama bottoms. For some reason, he’s elderly, my casual appearance offends him although, I think it’s mostly mock outrage. We rode over together, then I drive his passenger car back, no problem. I just, it was the text to confirm my availability, “Put some pants on!” For Aries, there’s a double meaning, and it’s about being aggressively casual in certain situations, and then, possibly when the Xmas carolers come to the front door? Maybe — at least — pull on a robe. Or, like the text suggests, “And put some pants on!”


My Taurus horoscope? It will be, “Single-source, barrel-aged in oaken casks, that over time impart a special flavor.” I liked the “barrel-aged” part best because the best horoscopes flavors — from now until next year? Aged. Aged to perfection? Well, aged, anyway. Let it marinate. Matter of fact, for good-tasting Taurus? Just let it age. Let it marinate in its own juices? Sure, that’s as good an idea as any. Or, the way I used to “cook” certain sea-fish, in a lemon juice mix, essentially citric acid. Local dish, called, “Cerviché.” But like that, sort the aged in oak barrels, or whatever? Let it marinate, let it stew in its own juices, let it alone until it’s ready. Takes time. Wait until next year. Again, single-source, barrel-aged for that special flavor, but it must stew in its own juices for a spell.


It really helps to be around small children at Xmas time. There’s a joy, an exuberance, a bubbling and infectious excitement that the kids have. In the past, I’ve borrowed a fishing buddy’s kids — I was really tapped to babysit — but I’ve borrowed those kids as a source of Xmas joy. The observed difference between an adult Gemini and kids? At times, it’s hard to tell them apart except for the relative height. With one Gemini person, even that’s questionable. “I’m not short, I’m fun-sized.” OK. But that apparent joy and glee, the adventure, the mythology and the religions, and everything all wrapped up in a tidy Xmas package? That’s the joy that kids spark. The problem being? Mercury and all? Saturn is in Pisces, and the rest that follows? There’s the sugar crash and that’s the rest of this year. Glee, joy, and the crash that follows. “I’m just going to spread a blanket here, so I have something soft to fall upon.”


The approach of the full moon alongside the holiday, and the winter solstice just highlights the relative insanity of these times. I’ve long-held a belief that the holidays, alone, are major cause of consternation for the Crab, but this lunar fullness, and its pressure points? Makes this “feel” a little more crazy. “Crazy! Crazy, I tell you!” I get it. And worse, the relative position of the almost full moon in Gemini loads up my Sagittarius “insanity” factor. So I understand, this gets me before it gets you. However, to adequately make it through? Recognize the loquacious and voluble nature of the times, and then? Don’t get too invested in any one, particular outcome. “Oh, that’s bad,” wait a few minutes and then? “Oh, that’s good!” See? Wait for it.

The Leo

What did I suggest last week?

The idea is to keep a long list, “This is what I will do when Mercury isn’t retrograde (in the new year).”

Think that still stands for the mighty and magnificent Leo. Repeated? Keep a long list of things you’re going to do when Mercury is no longer retrograde, like, you know, next year? Best advice? “Never do today what you can put off until next year.” If you have to do it now, just recall that you’ll probably have to do it again, after the new year starts.


Except for that one Virgo, except for that one person? The rest of the Virgo in the chart are best served if we all heed the usual Mercury warnings. There’s an added punch to what’s going and several refined, and slightly unnoticed aspects are going to occur, in the near future. This is about Neptune. Mars, Mercury, and for gentle Virgo? That Saturn in Pisces as well. There’s a loose affiliation of astrological gravel that is a minor concern, but none of this is a big deal. The problem with a series of little deals, minor inconveniences, and especially right before the big holiday? Makes you wonder if it is your Virgo self when we know, well enough, that it isn’t really just you. However, you seem to become a focal point for all manner of ill-manners, and that is a problem. My simplest solution has always been to duck. Duck out of the way, duck-walk away. Avoid conflict. Might be best for good Virgo to try that, as well. Just duck.


Family, the greatest source of joy in one’s life, right? Also, potentially, the greatest source of pain and disappointment. The clue, right around Xmas and the time right after? Recall that gentle Libra is a Cardinal Sign, and boisterous Capricorn is also a Cardinal Sign, and that makes for low-level tension that is, or isn’t, important. What is paramount? Dismiss the irrelevancies. Strip away the external, adjunct, unattached details that might, or probably don’t, matter. Strip it way, and just concentrate on the fun stuff. Makes it ever so much easier.


There are two elements pushing, pulling, actually there are lot more than two, but let us ascribe this to just dual elements of Mercury in backwards motion, and the Sun in jolly Sagittarius. The idea that this is a good time, with the moon almost full? Looks great and there’s an added insanity loose. But as far as a calm, cold, calculating Scorpio goes? This is a time to gently apprise a situation, but maybe, not take action. I offered up some substantial advice last week, and it stands: Wait until after the holidays before taking real action.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.


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