Life you have not

TV then hemp then technology = 1%

First, I discover that I’m an underachiever because I don’t own a TV. Then, I’m the oddball on the web because I don’t smoke dope. Just getting a machine to do what it’s supposed to do is a big deal to me. Sometimes, it’s the little things in life that mean so much.

Many years ago, my love of technology and gadgets led me to get my dad an original Apple Newton Message Pad. Laugh if you want, the technology was skewered pretty well in the mainstream press. But it worked, for what it was worth, and it was a great toy. He later got me a different model, and we both went as far as the updates to the last version before the project/division was killed off by Apple.

So it was two Newtons, then a Palm III, then a Handspring, then a faster Handspring, and finally a color Handspring. Added a phone module to one, and late at night, while I was reading a magazine called “Pen Computing,” I realized that I could surf the web on my phone/palmtop. Which I did. It’s not like this is really a viable option, though, I mean, it’s costing roughly 50 cents a minute for the cell time plus fee for the 800 dialup access.

I checked with my cell carrier’s website, and came up with a {{popup coverage.jpg coverage 466×469}}coverage map, which I included as a reference for myself, more than anything else. But that map must be out of date because last time I was in Midland/Odessa area, I had coverage.

When I first signed up for a cell phone, I can recall having to jump through a few rings of fire in order to get a cell phone that would connect to a cell-compatible modem I had, and I used that phone-Newton set up \\exactly once\\ to send in copy for which I was getting paid.

Actually, that was one of those stellar moments, I pulled up onto the beach – Mustang Island – and whipped out the Newton, then wrote the article, while sitting right there, in the Autumn sun, as the tide slowly crept in. Then again, sitting in a Houston airport, checking e-mail and submitting the article. So much for technology.

But it’s cool stuff, knowing that I can surf the web on my phone. After dinner, we were talking about who was going to be at the Spoke when, so we could arrange for the annual Leo party. Riding in the back of the truck, I was able to let my buddies know what the upcoming schedule was.

“So what does this make me?”

“You’re the Alpha Geek.”

“More like a guy with no life.”

“Yoda: ‘Life you have not’.”

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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