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Week of: Feb. 19-25

Aries [3/23-4/20]: You have a unique situation this week -- Aries, my friend, because a lover or serious romantic relationship from the deep and distant past is going to surface and they are going to come bearing gifts. That's the good news. But be forewarned, dear Aries, that anyone with gifts which look so good, well, I know you're not the suspicious type, but I am, and I think some of my cynicism would do you some good this week. Just be extra careful about old flames turning into either raging bonfires, sometimes known as ñBonfires of the Inanities.î You do not need extra baggage at a time like this.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: One of the problem with having an overwhelming Taurus personality is that you keep looking for the easy way out. Alas, my good Bullish friend, there is no easy way out this week. None at all. Once again,. a central theme in your life is self-sacrifice. This is usually best left to other signs, but you have inherited a little bit of stellar dust which says, ñLook at the big picture, not just the day to day stuff.î And granted, if you will remove yourself from the situation., the larger view will reveal that you have stumbled upon a real ñGlory Holeî (a place where there are lots of fish), but you canÍt fish there yet.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: If you could slow down for just one second, you might feel the ever-loving embrace of the Earth Goddess calling out to you. If you could be still for just one minute, there is a tree - hugging - earth - muffin type chasing after you with good news. But the problem here is that most GeminiÍs, bless your souls, canÍt stop long enough to realize that someone is chasing them, especially when that someone is an elusive wood sprite. Slow down and embrace a little natural change.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Let the good times roll this week! Party on! Whatever. The deal is this: you feel great. Nothing can go wrong. And, no Great Work will be accomplished this week, either. That's the bad news. Or the good news, depending on oneÍs perspective. In any case, look for some activated love interests, and if there are absolutely NO love interests at all, look for some activated shopping interests. You want to make your world a little bit nicer place. This would be a good time to accomplish that. And forget the ñBuy Bubba a Bad Bass Boatî this week.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: The good news is that by the end of the week, the pressure which you been feeling will be over. Gone away, finished. Whatever last weekÍs project was, whatever the all-consuming, deadlines were, all of that is over now. That;s the good news. Actually, there isnÍt a whole lot to report that is bad. You have just started an ascent towards your birthday, as if you want to start out with a slow drum roll, starting now. ItÍs never to early to plan for a good party, you know.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Talk about pressure on poor old VirgoÍs! The best news I can give you this week is to make an attempt to hold onto the the thin shreds of reality that you now firmly have a grip on. Like trying to reel in a fish thatÍs too big for the gear youÍve got, the problems that are upon you right, both the financial and the romantic, seem to have no end in sight. That's the bad news. The good news? The romance problems will sort themselves out. YouÍre still left, though, trying to reel in a big fish with your under-sized fishing gear. Good luck -- youÍll need it. But if you do land this one, just think about the stories you can tell....

Libra [9/24-10/23]: This balance thing that LibraÍs are so famous for, this sense equality and composure, which LibraÍs are known far and wide for, this compassion and understanding, well, youÍre going to need it all this week. You have a golden opportunity to rectify some past injustice. To be a little more specific, you will be able to change a reaction in the field of romance, either a serious romantic partner, or someone, in a much broader sense, like a family member, who is near to you. Use this beneficial, if somewhat skewed energy as correctly as possible -- itÍs a good time for making past indiscretions right.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: IÍve been singing a song for you ScorpioÍs about getting ready for that first Bass Fishing Championship of the season. Are you ready to hit the trail and fish to your heartÍs content? I hope so. There are few things, though, I should warn you about: now, more than any other time, is the best time to get ready for the future. I mean, pull that boat up out of the lake, tend to all the chores like minor repairs and paint. Then, go back into the house and get your tackle box in order. Then, and only then will you be ready for a serious Championship Season. You may already be a winner, you wonÍt know until you get there.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Poor old Archer, youÍve got the trouble that Gemini has, itÍs the Earth Muffin routine. The big-hipped-hgairy-legged-tree-hugging people are after you. They want you to have some tofu. Maybe put some sprouts on it. While you have an adventuresome palate, health food which resembles lawn clippings is really not your style. I would, if I were you, gently remove myself from their presence. Yes, you have the highest of ideals, it just these guys want to brainwash you into thinking just their way. DonÍt go for it, Sagittarius. You will always be an independent thinker.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: I make an effort to warn every other sign about adversity, but one of the things I discovered about CapricornÍs is that, this sign as a whole, seems to relish the difficult time. ItÍs when everything is easy that I have to hear from a lot of complaining CapricornÍs. So, this week starts out with considerable stress related angles in between the stars in the sky. And, you will probably have an allergic reaction to some of these stress related angles, too, but being the dutiful soul that you are, you will not let your social life interfere with making money. That's the big this week, so go ahead and act a little greedy, you can do it.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: If you havenÍt gotten married in the last couple of weeks, and if you are not seriously considering it right now, then IÍm a little worried, but just a little worried. In any case, though, IÍll bet your romantic life has taken a turn for the better. Way better.. Much, much better than itÍs been a long time. In fact, if you have ever considered writing a torrid and trashy romance novel about your life, this would be the time to do it. And who would you get the play the lead character in the movie about your life? These are important questions, and if itÍs like that romance novel, you will want a super sexy star. It could happen, after this week.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: You early Pisces, those of you with a birthday this week, you guys are really going to enjoy the next year. You cab already see that the heavens are lingering up to make your life a little easier right now. The fact of the matter is that there is a beneficial conjunction, that is, a bunch of planets get together, and it is an early Pisces thing, and this lends you a lot of energy and strength. In traditional astrology, it also means that there is a good year ahead.

Week of: Feb. 12 - 18
redo: ValentineÍs Day!

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Just like there can be a Bad Moon on the rise, there can also be a good planet on the rise. And that's what you've got coming up this week because Venus swings her lovely and sweet self into you hot and fiery sign. Between the cool and gentle sussurations of the goddess blowing in your ear and the difficult work that youÍve got ahead, you feel like one of those people who is being torn in two different directions. The solution? Pick as course and stick to it. Perhaps the most correct route ainÍt the easiest.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: The really good news this week is that you can attract the fancy of a passing stranger. The flip side of this two headed coin is that although you attract their fancy, the strangers do continue to on their merry way. WhatÍs that mean? It is a mere infatuation, not the real thing, when it comes to this love affair which might, or might not, get started this week. If one does get started this week, donÍt say I didnÍt warn that it might have a very short duration. You really must learn to curb you emotions when dealing with these little infatuations. Perhaps itÍs just the season that does this to you, what with St. Valerntine so promienently displayed.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: I warned you about being ready for some big changes, more than a month ago. In fact, these changes have been at work, behind your scenes, for almost a three month period. The deal is this: you are rapidly approaching a frustration peak, and this can be surmounted if you are willing makes some quick adaptations to a new lifestyle. In other words, there are some big changes brewing themselves up just for you. Traditional therapy isnÍt such a bad idea, not this week. Nor is non-traditional stuff, either, like working out, and eating from a more healthy diet. Wait, IÍm starting to sound like a doctor, and I donÍt even play one on TV. That one serioous love interest is even more serious this week.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Dear Cancer Friend. Oh Dear. We seem to be face to face with yet one more small and seemingly difficult period in your life. The first part of the question has to do with romance, and no, that area is not going to improve in this next week. You do develop a momentary affliction of the eyesight when some person catches your eye, but this fleeting. The second part of the question is money, and yes there is more, you just have to work for it. I know you hate it when I give direct answers like that, but there you have. Romance? Yes, albeit temporary. Finance? Yes, albeit work.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: By the time the weekend gets here, you will be ready to party like it was 1999. Who sang that song? Do you care? Does it matter? No, except that you haven't been feeling very regal lately, what with all the odd bits of gravel in the sly exerting a negative influence. Worse yet, youÍve just had a half-birthday. What that means, though, is that it is time for you to get ready for the slow ascent to the real party of the year: your birthday! ItÍs only six months away, and now is the time to starting getting prepared.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: IÍve been telling some VirgoÍs that it is high time they consider getting a new boat. IÍve been telling some VirgoÍs that it would be a good investment for our coming fishing expeditions, what with Spring practically staring us in the face. Most of these VirgoÍs are waiting for the best buy of the season, and that isnÍt going to happen, at least, not one that would make them happy. However, there is a decent buy, just waiting. Go ahead and task the plunge, splurge and get us a new boat. You will be happier. Trust me.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Well, itÍs about time! After what youÍve just been through, I think youÍll agree that you need a rest. Problems? Not to worry because time has a way of settling these things without any input from you. For just once in your life, the passive - aggressive Libra thing is going to work for you. The deal is this: set back and assess your directions and goals. Get your fishing gear in order -- thereÍs a great season ahead!

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: The week starts out with you being really, really moody. Like this is any surprise for a Scorpio? Surely not (and donÍt call you ñSurely,î I know, I know). While the week starts with a black cloud on Monday, by Friday your spirits have been lifted and you can sally forth into the great unknown. By the time the weekend rolls around you feel like getting out and socializing. Go for it -- itÍs time for the little Scorpio in you to play.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: You will feel, before the end of the week, a huge burst of energy to get out and get things done. ThatÍs the good news. It gets, better, too, so just hold on. Business, the art of making money, as opposed to winning it in a game of chance, figures very strongly right now.. you have some new ideas which, if you could just implement them, you can make some serious cash. Once you get shoved off, you are really moving forward. Just remember where you came from. You will have a slight tendency to get lost this week, partly, because you feel so good.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Good news, bad news this week. Expect some terrific challenges as you attempt to communicate some the things that you are working on. Now look: you have the potential to do a lot of good right now, thatÍs a plus. You also will encounter some rather large obstacles, too. If you can just assess what it is that seems to be blocking your forward progress, you will probably find that much of the problem is from yourself.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: Judging by the Aquarius slice of the night sky, you got a lot of stuff going on right about now. A lot of lines are dangling into the river of life, and you are trying, not entirely in vain, to hook a lot of fish. All at once. Big deals coming down the pike, to mix a few metaphors. What to do? Aquarius is supposed to be technically proficient. This week, though, you might find yourself creating more problems on computers than you would really like. Give yourself a little extra time to reboot, to get yourself going again. The bad stuff is gone by the end of the week.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Well, if itÍs not one thing, then itÍs another, right? DonÍt complain to me now that youÍve got mars in your sign. Mars brings a lot of energy -- thatÍs good news. He also makes accidents happen -- itÍs a good time to be careful with sharp objects, cutting edges that sort of thing. You could hurt yourself. As a personal note, this isnÍt a good week for heavy military artillery, either. The standard warning is this: no flamethrowers for igniting the barbecue grill. You could wind up torching the entire neighborhood. In fact, it would be a good week not to attempt too much because you will be prone to over extensions and related disorders.

Week of: Feb. 5 - 11

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Feel like you've just been shot out of a cannon? Maybe feel a little bit like a human cannonball? Or is life beginning to resemble a concrete drop at the end of bungee line? I hope this all doesn't worry you, either. You get off to a good start, all full of activity, and ready to take the town by storm on Monday morning, and by Tuesday afternoon, you will find yourself completely fed up with all the petty bickering. You need some sort of chemical attitude adjustment because everyone else is being difficult this week.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: I'm not going to say that you lack foresight, or that you cannot effectively plan ahead for some things, but I am going to observe that this would be a good time to lay some groundwork for future expansion, and the risk of this future expansion? It looks like you are going to have to approach life from a somewhat more ascetic point of view. This is nice way of saying make some daily sacrifices for a bigger reward later. If you can.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: The good news is that your razor sharp mind is like the cutting edge of a giant oil tanker, plying the seas of rational thought. What a nice image, you: cutting through the other people who are some much more sluggish than you. There is one obstacle for you, though, and large chunk of ice. Now, I wouldn't want to be a doom seer, but remember what happened to the Titanic, it was unsinkable. Be careful with that quick mind and quick tongue this week: try not to make any more enemies.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: I know that you will find this hard to believe, dear Cancer friend, but remember that arrogance is the first step downward for you. What does arrogance have to do with all the good things that are happening this week? I just don't want you to get too overconfident and cocky because it should be a good week, as long as you keep a tight check on that ego. Look, I'm only telling this because I'm your Fishing Buddy.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Well there you go, dearest Leo, you should feel like one of the greatest dramatic creations of all time: Falstaff. For those of you who are unaware, this isn't a beer, but a character from Shakespeare's Trilogy in Four Parts about the History of Henry IV who becomes Henry Sank. The character has phenomenal good luck and good fortune, and he lives a very well-rounded life: wine, women, war, all the great things. And he's the king's good buddy. I can't promise war or women, and the wine may be metaphorical, but there is plenty of metaphor and party time this week.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Well, it looks like you were about to raise up out of a slump last week, and then, all of a sudden, along came Monday Morning and you fell right back into that pit of despair. Your emotions are bit ragged and dull this week, and you feel a little frayed around the edges. Somebody ran their fingernails across the chalkboard and that set the tine for the rest of the week. Look: none of these are obstacles that you can't overcome with a little perseverance. Get after it.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: While I am certainly of the group that would like to completely do away with fatalistic Astrology-oriented "Astral Determinism", I fear that this week you Libra's will feel a greater call of destiny. In simple English: your ship will arrive, and you have a chance to get on board. I'm not talking about a ferry across some dark river, rather this is a time where you can have a greater sense of accomplishment. If you achieve that balance. Balance is always a tricky subject with the Libra's, well, sometimes it is a tricky subject, and then, other times, it's not.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: You are acting almost too gleeful for the rest of us. A happy Scorpio gives one a moment to pause and think, "What's that Scorpio up to make them so darned happy?" Actually, in this case, you are up to nothing., Like the expression goes, "Nothing up my sleeve." And, to be really truthful, there are no tricks here. You just feel a lot better right now. Which makes the rest of the other signs really wonder about you. Why are you so happy right now?

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Maybe this is merely a Sagittarius experience from my own lifetime, but I think you just missed the bulk rate date for Valentine's Day. Now all those form letters "To the One Person I Really Loved (insert name here)" are going to have to be mailed First Class Postage. Unless, of course, you can get some bulk deal on e-mail. The biggest problem you are facing right now is how to juggle three dates on the 14th. I have no advice for this. This is not a situation I would ever get myself into. You hapless Sagittarius types should know better.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Money. Is there ever enough? No! What can you do to make some more? Get more work! What should you do this week while there is a good stuff pushing on you? Get more money! How are you going to do this? Think long and hard, now. You have the drive, the ideas, the ability to make all of this happen, the big question now is can you do it? Put some of your ideas to work for you, and I'll wager you will be surprised with the beneficial results. The one thing to watch out for right now is a tendency to be a little lazy at times.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: I'll assume that you have a passing familiarity with Biorhythms because this is an important concept, specially at the beginning of the week, when you start out with everything in a slump. That's where the emotion, the physical, and the psychological all fell drained, down, bottomed out. So much for the slump stuff. Since this is such a short cycle, by the middle of the wee, you will be starting to get back into action, and by the weekend, you will back in shape and on top all over again. Cautions for this week: careful with the Ax, Eugene. (Trivia Question, who sang that song?)

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: As long as we are setting the controls for the heart of the sun, I guess we can take a look at you, too.. The way I see it, there has been two disturbing forces at work on you, and by the end of the week, there will only be one disturbing force at work on you. This should be good news, the only hassle will be that reality is still finishing up with its march across Pisces and it is still not a great time for you. One final note, the end is in sight, and you may soon be allowed to drift back to that other world you live in.
© Kramer Wetzel ´ Austin, Texas ´ October 1995 ´ rodeo voice mail: 512/209-2200 ´
fax (Bubba's fax line is ALWAYS open): 512/448-0970 ´ http://www.io.com/~fgs/ ´ fgs@io.com

Week of: Jan 29 - Feb. 3

Aries [3/23-4/20]: You know what, dear Aries friend? You're right, it is about time that I said something exceedingly nice about the sign and what is coming up. And indeed I will, because you will find that there are no "speed bumps of life"; ahead ion the next week. In fact, when it comes to cruising over speed bumps, you will find that this next week is like a tune-up to the old truck's suspension. The rough and ready ride is so much smoother this week, in fact, at one point, you'll be tempted to hoop out and take a look at the truck itself, just see why everything is going so well.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: There's this feeling, what with all the recent events, that this is not going to be a good week. If you are patient, and I've never known a Taurus who is not, then there is a chance that you will wait until this week starts to improve. The deal is this: you are emotional a little edgy, and you can't reach out and touch the reason why. It's probably something lurking in your subconscious that is bother you. By the weekend, though, all of this will be nothing more than a memory of an unpleasant dream. It's really not too big of a deal. Start getting prepared for the new fishing season because spring can be such a terrific time of renewal.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: There are big changes occurring in your sign as the "Dark Lord of the Winter" passes opposite of you. This unfortunate astrological event is taking place for the next few years, so don't get all fired up and worried about everything. Just get ready to let go of some old ideals. There is also a lingering, nurturing feeling. Perhaps this is left over from the holidays. Perhaps this is an expression of something you think you want. Perhaps this has to do with your Moon Sign. Perhaps you just feel like smothering your partner/mate/wife/husband/fishing partner right now. Take two steps backwards and think about how important the relationship is. Too much attention can hurt right now.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Get prepared for will be a great weekend to lock yourself in the house and sort through those boxes of old fishing gear. Look: you must have hundred of old lures that you no longer use. Find a new place for them: donate them to a charity service like Goodwill. Better yet, if you want to pick up a little extra cash, just flatten the barbs on the hooks, and sell those old lures as earrings. You think I'm kidding, right? I'm not. Go to any college town-type boutique and look in the jewelry section. What does most of the ear art these days look like? Old fishing lures. Now, I have just offered you a financial way to help clean out the house. What's in it for me?

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Dear, sweet, troubled Leo. If there was a way I could relieve your pain, I would. Believe me. I have a lot of compassion for the almighty Lion, the Leader of the Pack (or jungle, or savanna, or whatever it is that you lead). Right now, there seems to be a lot obstacles coming from groups of you adoring fans. In fact, right now, you feel like you have no adoring fans. They haven't all abandoned you, either, it just feels that way. What should you do? Be careful not to stress yourself too much, and be extra careful when it comes to exercise. Maybe it would be a good week to stay away from the gym altogether. Now do you feel better?

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: I've received some complaints from Virgo's, they are concerned that I'm not being technical enough. So? So here you go: The week starts out with Venus and Saturn in opposition to you and the week ends with Venus and Saturn in opposition to you. The deal is on Friday, there is a direct conjunction between those two planets. Big deal? We think not, me and the staff here at FGS World Headquarters. But you do need to be concerned about your interaction with loved ones because you will seem a little critical of them despite the fact that you will feel more loving and sociable this week. Go figure.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: There was one astrologer who forecasted marriage at this time for the Libra sign. I don't think so: there seems to be an attention problem with serious romantic relationships right now. Like, you might be serious about one relationship this week, but next week, well, there's a new person on your horizon. Don't make the big commitment just yet. Even though things have definitely turned around for you.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: I know this is going to bother some of you Scorpio's, but you will have to deal with this in form or another, right now. There is a lot of critical energy moving through your world right now. What does that mean? Your mental clarity, you're ability to see straight into the heart of the matter, especially at work, is greatly enhanced. And, that's the problem, too, because although you can see what is going on, no one else around you is inclined to believe you. The most correct course of action right now is wait and see. Put off some quick satisfaction for a more rewarding long term goal.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Go hug a tree. If that doesn't work, go hug a tree hugger. If that doesn't work, send an earth-saving charity some money. And if that doesn't work, make a big, political statement about healing Planet Earth. What's the big deal? It's one of those weeks when you feel unusually caring and giving, as demonstrated by your action. Since all the aforementioned solutions don't seem to attract you too much, consider taking a tree hugging person to dinner. There, now don't you feel better? You can discuss the nature of things in the Universe right, and make plans for a brighter tomorrow.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: There is one thing which is near and dear to every Capricorn's heart: money. And there is no time like the present to start making more money. Jupiter, that great, big, beautiful lucky star is winging its way all over you. What this means, is that now is the time to put the wheels in motion to get rich soon. Any thoughts on how you are going to make your next million? I realize, and you know this is true, that money can't buy happiness or love, but you can certainly rent those attributes for a period of time. Leasing, besides the tax break, also afford an emotionless commitment, too.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: Well, this is no big news here, but have you set the next wedding date? I realize that the average Aquarius needs several relationships to keep that average Aquarius happy, and this wee it looks like you are planning on getting married. If you can, it does deserve some time and consideration. Of course, with all the disruptive energy going on in OTHER SIGNS you haven't had a moment to yourself, now have you? I would urge you to reconsider the wedding date. Maybe consult with an astrologer who could also serve as a wedding planner.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Nice thoughts, pleasant thoughts, a wonderful world. Everything going your way. It could happen, in an ideal world. The problem is, when you wake up this week, you will realize that it is not a perfect world. Social change plays heavily on your mind at this time, and you will feel more like getting out and trying to help some of those who are less fortunate. That's might magnanimous of you. Just be careful about some of your aesthetic decisions at a time like this, while your judgment is normally quite sound, it might be a little off this week.
© Kramer Wetzel
Austin, Texas
October 1995
rodeo voice mail: 512/209-2200
fax (Bubba's fax line is ALWAYS open): 512/448-0970
http://www.io.com/~fgs/
fgs@io.com