Week of: Apr. 15-21

Week of: Apr. 15-21

Aries [3/23-4/20]: The significant events in your life, and the stuff (or things or fame and fortune) that you have all wanted now lays firmly within your greedy little grasp. If you really want it, now's the time to go for it. Right now. Do it. Go for it. Grab the brass ring. In case you don't understand that last one, the Universe (or whatever belief system you've got) is conspiring to make your life one long, hard day at the office. The upside is that you reap a reward from hard work.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: This week will find you a lot more animated than ever before. In fact, you will appear to be so animated, some of your friends won't want to sit in a fishing boat with you, at least, not for long. Be careful that you don't find yourself over-acting when you should just sit down, shut up and fish. When you're bait is in the water, it is a good time to be contemplative and reflective, not running your over-active mouth. Get the hint?

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: The week starts out with a cool angle between Venus, the Goddess of Love, and Pallas, the feminist asteroid of quick and insightful thinking. And what does this mean? If you can, this is a good week to take a serious look at making an investment in the art marketplace. In fact, if you are really interested, I happen to know where you can get some special black velvet painting: Jesus, Elvis and Willie Nelson, the Holy Trinity -- all on one painting. Really. Special deal. Remember, it's not just artwork to enjoy, it's also an investment.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: I sure hope you overhauled the outboard motor last week. I really do. And charged up the battery for the trolling motor, too, because we are definitely going to need it this weekend. It's time to go trolling. There's a special sweet spot, just under the willows along the northern edge of the lake, I'll show you. We can catch our limit in no time, then take the rest of the day off. Make sure you are ready for the fishing party!

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Is the divorce final yet? Actually, I guess I should back up and start at the beginning... have you started the proceedings for a divorce? Thought about them? Maybe this isn't affecting your love life, but you might find that there is trouble in paradise in respect to a business dealing. If you went halvers on a boat, you might find yourself in a deep trouble because you are going to be "discussing at the top of your lungs" where the boat should go, and whose weekend it is. If you follow my advice, you'll bail out of the partnership.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: The wedding notion seizes you again this week, and you get even more emotional about it. Sorry about that. You just feel like you should be married right now, and the one thing I would definitely caution you about is making unwise decisions regarding mates. Be wary of "love at first sight" which might be "lust at first sight" which might really turn out to be "disgust at first sight" because that's what the object of your attention will do to you in the long run.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Go back and read Virgo for this week, so I don't have to copy and paste everything all over again. Basically, this is the message: careful with the romantic relationship questions right now. You are gazing deeply into your own navel, trying figure yourself out, and that should be work enough. Trying to make heads or tales out of some one else's life is just plan foolish. Like I said, check with a Virgo, first.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: I've been accused of picking on Scorpio's. But what other sign would be a more apt sign for a little SARCASTIC humor? You realize, and this idea is certainly highlighted this week, that most Scorpio's (I know you are different) have this intense look, and burning stare which melts mere mortals. It looks like you know something. The problem you came face to face with this week is that maybe you don't actually know anything. Someone might be stupid enough to call your bluff.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: This week starts off with a remarkable interest in home and taking care of the homestead, and the week finishes up with you doing something really productive like fixing the riding mower so your significant other (wife, spouse, whatever) can finish mowing the back 40. In other words, probably no fishing this week. That's the bad news. You do, however, manage to clean up a few loose ends around the house.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: By now, the good fortune has passed by the Christmas babies, but the later degrees of Capricorn are start to reel a little bit from the effects of Jupiter. To make matters worse, we had a Capricorn moon this week, and you know what that does to you.... Anyway, the pressure is beginning to lessen, if only by a degree, but knocking a stringed instrument out of tune can be unpleasant. What will it be, dear Capricorn?

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: I would never think about sending anything too highbrow past you guys, but some of the repartee from Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing would really, really fit. I was considering some of the opening salvo between Benedict and Beatrice. "She is too low for high praise, to brown for fair praise, and too little for great praise." (I.i.164-6). Get the hint, Bubba? Honeymoon is over, and the new has worn off the boat. Did you make a good decision, or what?

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: The stars have been treating poor, old hapless Pisces with a cruel turn every day for what seems like an eternity. The best of possible news is here: the good times are right ahead, and you are set to enjoy them. Although it is against my nature to wax romantic or happy about an upcoming situation, you are definitely headed in a direction this week which will yield many happy moments. I would appreciate a wedding invitation. I'll decline, of course, but the invite would be nice.

Week of: Apr. 8-14

    Week of: Apr. 8-14

    Aries [3/23-4/20]: You know Easter always signifies a pleasant kind of rebirth process, and the spring time, along with Spring Break, signifies a change a in the seasons when one can experience growth and life, and all that good stuff. It also means that it is time to make sure all the fishing gear is is in place and that you have a current fishing license. Just a friendly reminder because you don't want unwarranted visits from a game warden this week.

    Taurus [4/21-5/22]: You get lit up by good old Mr. Mercury this week. While most Taurus types are accused of being slow, this small planet whips you into a high degree of mental activity -- your mind will literally be racing from point to point, and most of your friends and acquaintances will wonder where the energy is coming from. Don't be too surprised if there is talk of checking your caffeine intake, or someone wants to look through your medicine cabinet because of all your activity. Tell them all to get over it -- you are just a little mercurial right now.

    Gemini [5/23-6/21]: You are going into a phase when it would help you to learn to be a little more passive. Not passive aggressive, but this week is one in which inner discipline like mediation is a good idea. Venus brings her calm and benevolent influence to you this week so use it wisely -- contemplation (not normally one of your better traits) is highlighted as a possible avenue for you. I would suggest a strong cup of coffee and a prolonged morning session with the comics because spiritual enlightenment can always be found in the funny papers.

    Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Work is heating up and romantic relationships are cooling down. Or rather, work is going well, but the romance department has left you a little confused. That's the problem with romantic relationships: some part of the equation never, ever equal;s the other part. Balance in romance is what you are looking for this week, and, sad to say, it ain't happening this week, either. Shoulder on through workload.

    Leo [7/23-8/23]: It looks like just about everyone else is having a difficult go of this week, but for you Leo types out there, well, it's a good time to party on. Unless, of course, you live in either Washington D.C., or Harris County. In those two extremes, I would exercise a high degree of caution. But the rest of you guys? It's going to be a good week.

    Virgo [8/24-9/23]: If you have suddenly noticed a ringing in your head, it isn't something a doctor can do anything about: it's wedding bells. No, that doesn't mean that you are going to take the plunge (if you haven't already), it just means that this is a thought which seems to occupy your central brain thinking unit this week. In a big way, romance and relationships are occupying a lot of what you are thinking about.

    Libra [9/24-10/23]: Relationships, especially of the romantic variety, are under close scrutiny this week. Looks like your significant other is taking a long and hard look at you. On a brighter note, there is movement afoot at work which should bring you some reward. I would be careful, though, of any type of multi-level marketing scheme which seems to be too good to be true. It probably is.

    Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Scorpio's are renowned far and wide for their sexual proclivities and the inherent intensity of their sign. The problem you face this week is that the inherent proclivity seems to have taken a vacation. In other words, despite everything being wonderful and rosy, you are acting a bit like a Virgo. Get over your silly self and quit taking things so seriously.

    Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: "Fly! Be Free! Splat!" That little ditty just about sums up what your week is like -- you have an urge towards freedom, a giant desire to run away, and every time you try to take off -- splat! You land face first. Fortunately, you are a Sagittarius, and as such, you always manage to make it look good. The splat, that i s, you manage to make it look good, almost like you panned it that way.

    Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Well, it has started, finally. About three, maybe four years ago, you started building towards this moment, and it has finally gotten here. So much for the good news. Now, you must be ready to capitalize on the events which are taking place, even as you read thus, events which will help propel you forward in the work place. That's the good news. And, of course, there is the ever-present influence of Jupiter's benevolent influence, too, just making your picture a little more rosy than most. And who was it who suggested that I was never nice to Capricorn's?

    Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: There are some fundamental changes occurring deep within your psyche, and these changes will probably be reflected in your actions and wardrobe choices this week. Be careful about what you wear: I realize that is a tacky suggestion to an Aquarius, but there you have it: your choice in attire is changing drastically and you don't want to get too far ahead of the crowd.

    Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Love is in the air, and you have reverted to a state where you are most happy: dream land. This is a good thing for you. Life has never been better, and you will notice that the spring growth is prettier than usual, and you feel better than usual. In fact, I would look for some windfall profit this week, too, just to be on the safe side.

Week of: Apr. 1-7

Week of: Apr. 1-7

Aries [3/23-4/20]: This is it, dear Aries friend, the penultimate moment before Saturn makes a grand entrance into your sign. What does this mean? It means it's a Good Friday! And Work! Lots of it! You already are feeling the beneficial effects of your ruler resting in your sign, the almighty red one: Mars. What does the next year hold in store for you? More work! That's right, and there will also be a lot of travel associated with this work thing. Enjoy the ride, and have a great birthday. In fact, you might want to start the parties now...

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: Have you noticed, despite the calming influence of Venus being Taurus, you have encountered some difficult moments? There seems to be a degree of consternation as you muddle along. Best bets would include reclining postures, carbonated beverages, muted colors and soft music. Relax a little. Don't worry about the work situation which has made you so uncomfortable recently. Relax some more and let the stress ease its way out of your body.... trust me, I am a professional.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Oh boy, oh boy. This is a good time for you. At least, I hope it is a good time for you. Dust off them rose colored glasses because you are going to be needing them throughout the next couple of week, but this idea is particularly highlighted this week. Everything just seems to glow with a new, spring-like sheen. If you can see auras, then you will notices everything seems to shimmer and glow right now. You can detect beauty where ever you turn your attention. Should be good, huh?

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Watch the pie in the sky money making schemes right now. In fact, consider getting a reading from a qualified fishing guide, as need be. What you're looking at right now is a time to move ahead with your professional credentials. Add to your resume or portfolio. Now would also be a good time to consider making some moves in the stock market arena. Just be careful that you don't make any buys based upon strictly visceral attitudes. Do your homework; research that stock buy first!

Leo [7/23-8/23]: I would never, ever suggest that a Leo would be a dull person, but you will note that you will enjoy a greater than average ability to discern problems and see matters more clearly in this next week. That's right, your intuition is spot on, and your ability to navigate through an otherwise foggy surroundings is heightened. Enjoy this insight while you've got it. Leo's in Houston are, of course, exempt from all prognostications.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Talk about some one who feels like they are in love! Or need to be in love. Well, it's bound to be one of those feelings for you this week. The week starts out on a positive emotional swing, but given your typically Virgo sensibilities, you can see right through the happy fog and get to the bottom line. Still, it is a good time for you and your relationships, either romantic or otherwise. I'll bet you stay happy most of the week, almost as if a lucky star is shining on you right now. It isn't but that doesn't matter, now does it?

Libra [9/24-10/23]: I guess we're still playing with the relationship stuff this again, aren't you? Still wondering about that "significant other" and what is going on with them? I wish I had more or better news, but alas, I don't. Just keep putting one foot in front of the next, especially over the next few days. You are on a roller coaster ride which will end up beneficial, but you emotions might lead you astray later in the week. Try and maintain a sense of balance.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: I guess we're looking at a veritable plethora of bovine byproduct this week! And it will probably hit the fan, too. In plain English, look forward to a time of great mental clarity but insubstantial physical reality to back up those things which you know are true. In fact, this would be a good week to trust no one, especially what some flaky astrologer person says. Your own insight and judgment is sound so be prepared to stand your ground.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Hug a tree today. The "feminist asteroid" which is characterized by the "big-hipped, hairy legged, tree hugging, sandal wearing, leaflet toting Earth Muffin" is in your sign. You feel like settling down this week, being domesticated like cattle, and searching for that dream of a little house with a white picket fence, a dog in the yard, 2.3 children, and so on. Face some reality here, Sagittarius, it won't work. You've got wings on your feet, but those wings have been clipped recently. Don't worry, your ability to fly will return.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Right now, you should feel like someone has jumped all over you and given you twenty three odd things to get accomplished. All before noon. Will you make it? Of course, because if you can get some of this stuff done, you can make a fistful of dollars, and, for almost every Cappy we know and love, a fistful of earned income is a good thing.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: You realize, of course, that week starts out with another one of those "bangs" which usually indicates a problem has erupted--like a dormant volcano which is no longer dormant. Best bet for dealing with this week? Surf that hot lava! Am I crazy? Maybe, but you might find a good way to deal with rising vicissitudes of life is grab a surf board and some appropriate beach apparel and head on done towards the waves. Me? I would grab a fishing boat, but we all know that I'm a little different.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: "By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher," Socrates said that. It sure feels like it applies this week, now doesn't it? Tired of the same old message? Well how about turning all your attention to this romance and relationship stuff now. It's okay, dear Pisces friend, you can go back to your dreaming now. The world is a better place just because you're in it. Thanks!

Week of: Mar. 25-31

Week of: Mar. 25-31

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Yes sir, this is the week for Aries. You guys are not only headed for a birthday, or Solar Return as we say in Astrology - speak, but you are headed for a good time as well. The planets have taken a decidedly good turn to make your life just that much better this week. The usual warnings apply with mars making a hasty visit and bringing all of his hot energy with him, though: good week for fishing tournaments; bad week for cheating, i.e., don't carry a an electrical generator in the boat. The judges may not get a charge out of that.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: See what I said last week. Being that you are a good Taurus (there is no other kind, in all reality), you probably didn't take advantage of your more than amplified excellence in taste. Try looking at it this way: it's a good time to redecorate the fishing boat. Some new carpet in the bottom of the Bass Boat might help with your attitude when the fish aren't hitting too well. You should be able to find some decent shag carpet for the boat this week, something in a tasteful Burnt Orange. Either that, or try Avocado, because green is always an attractive color for you.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: The problem is this, you feel [pretty rotten at the beginning of the week. This does change in a big way, but then, as a Gemini, you often experience mood swings wide as an 18-wheeler making a tight right corner. What this week hold for you? Money. Money and work, if you can hold your attention to it. That's the good news. The dark side of this good news is that it requires your UNDIVIDED attention, which can be a tedious prospect, at best.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: If you are really quiet for a moment, you will claim that off on the distance you can hear wedding bells. I will assure you that it is a momentary planet line up involving a certain asteroid which acts like a wedding bell rather than the real thing. It is merely your hopes which are ringing right now, and not the real thing. Don't despair, though, because the real thing is right around the corner. Don't forget: it is always polite, on the first date, to bait your date's hook. Just some Fishing advice for the lovelorn.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Well, for you Lions this week, you have a really spooky time coming up. There are going to be a few events which appear out of no where and would, on the surface, seem to have no relation to anything else. That's just the appearance, though. There really will be something underneath it all. Synchronisity is more than a song by the Police, you know. There will be an underlying thread which will tie events together. Don't eschew the obvious! Pay attention to the details!

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: With all of your lovely critical facility and great attention to detail, it's just too bad that you couldn't lend poor old Leo some of that energy -- they could all use it right now. You, on the other hand (or other paw as the case may be), need to tone it down just a little bit. There has been a lot of interesting energy stirred up in respect to relationships, especially in the last few months and this stuff is all coming quickly to heated and rolling boil. Romance is hot this week. Deal with it.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: It doesn't matter what I say, or what I tell you this week, you are probably not going to listen to me, or anyone else for that matter. You've got your head made up about what is right, and that is that. I guess I should leave well enough alone, but I can't. Watch out for faulty depth finders in the bass boat. In the real world, be wary of mechanical or electrical devices which let you down at the worst possible time. It could be people, too, but I would look more for a conspiracy amongst machines in your life.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: You know, it was just last year when Pluto finally got done with a the Scorpio Tango, and now you've got an additional burden from two toxic twins, Pallas and Vesta are doing this harmonic number with you and both these guys want you to be shrewd and analytical of situations. First of all, these are mere asteroids, not planets and the effect is greatly lessened. Secondly, this won't last long. Thirdly, like any good Virgo, you just need to "GET OVER IT!" Did you understand that, oh mean spirited Scorpio?

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Oh don't you feel cavalier this week! Things are running along as smoothly as possible for you. The spring time looks like it holds some more excitement and travel for you, and it is a good thing that passport is up to date, because foreign travel looks imminent this late spring. What? Your passport is not up to date? Better get on it, dear Sagittarius friend. You are going places soon.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Money, an ever popular topic with Capricorn, is ever more popular now. You should be making a lot of it. First off, though, I trust you didn't buy any schemes which promised quick riches overnight. If you did, you will learn the painful lesson about no one ever getting rich quick. Ask any billionaire -- they all will tell you it took a year or two. So be it. You are in a position where you can lay the groundwork to make a lot of money, later. Like next year. But you have some background checking to do, first.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: You know, all I can say right now, is that I wish I had more Aquarius in my chart. You people with the Sun in Aquarius are getting beneficial blasts from about three different directions, the least of which is not from your own ruler who is making life incredibly interesting for you. I just hope you stay away from MY computer. You feel as if there is a jolt of electricity flowing through you, even as you are reading this. That's the good news. Now, if you could only figure out how to direct this juice....

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Feel a collective and welcome sigh of relief from all of the those (un) fortunate souls born under this last sign in the zodiac? I kept telling you it was getting better in March, and now, as the month draws to a close, you feel like you are closing out another chapter of the book life. Relax a little and enjoy the spring time coming up. The Blue Bonnets will be out in force soon enough, and that ought to make you happy. times like this, I just wish I had more Pisces in my chart, too. Yes, it's supposed to be that good.

Week of: Mar. 18-24

Week of: Mar. 18-24
Spring Equinox! Party On! Astrological New Year! Surf is UP!

Aries [3/23-4/20]: I'm sure you felt a very welcome relief as a great and dark burden was lifted from shoulders just when the Sun crossed that make-believe line and with the Sun now firmly in Aries, everything is going to get better, right? Well, it is "supposed" to get better, now, and you should look forward to a good birthday celebration. But all of this party action is not without an occasional downside: work. Time for the big real estate deal to come together, time to earn some money, time for some work. Better get used to it because Saturn is coming to town. Fortunately, you like work.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: There's a long-standing tradition I have about advising buy artwork. Well, tradition not withstanding, this is a great time for you to do just that: buy artwork. Or anything else which enhances and beautifies your home and living arrangements. Your sense of taste and elegance is at an all time high. The problem you might encounter is that the funds you use to buy this would be of the plastic variety and that could create difficulties on down the road of life, i.e., when the bill comes in the mail. Like next month. Be wary of over-extending your credit, no matter how good your artistic sensibilities are right now.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: The bad news is that this week starts out as a bad hair day. And then it turns into what feels like a bad hair week. Look: you were expecting that I would say that it would be a bad hair month next. Nope, that's not the trend. That Moon moves into your solar first house which means you start feeling a lot better. Look for a giant upswing in events as of the weekend. surround yourself with friends, and take a clue from a Leo: party on!

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Remember when I suggested that Cancer's help buy a new bass boat? Did you? Remember, as a water sign, a Cancer needs as much exposure to the calming influence of the water as possible. See? I told you to buy a new boat, but did you listen? No. Now, instead, you are stuck with a romantic relationship which seems to be going no where, and no boat to escape on. Maybe next week, you will remember to look for a new boat.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Big issues this week? Probably not. Just as the Sun hits that magic spring number, the Equinox, you will feel like things couldn't get much better. There is, as usual, one small drawback: you seem to be rather insistent that you are right and the other person is wrong. If you could watch yourself in the arena of work especially, where you try to impose your own sweet self (and your will) on someone else, this would be helpful. It would be a good time to avoid confrontations.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Circumstances beyond your control. That seems to be the theme you have been facing, especially lately. Problems at work due to "circumstances beyond your control." Problems at home due to "circumstances beyond your control." Problems with romance due to "circumstances beyond your control." Do you see a repetitive pattern here? Is there hope? The answer should be yes and yes, because what is going to unfold this week is a chance to bring about some effective changes, especially at work, where the change will benefit you the most. The other stuff? Well, it is due to circumstances beyond your control, so don't sweat it.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: If there ever was a good time for taking up self-destructive habits, then this would be the week to start. Last year, the popular escape was heroin. This year? We're looking at sports like Bass Fishing (always popular) and Golf. Research here at Bubba World Headquarters has indicated that these sports are as addicting as Heroin, and the physical trauma is not nearly as severe. Still, you should not try these sports with adult supervision, nor should you try them when you don't have A LOT of time to kill. In fact, you don't have a lot time of time to kill, it's just that you are looking for a way out this week. Try dealing with what is hand rather than running away. Confrontation this week can yield good results.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: You know, just about everyone else is suffering to a degree this week, and you are no different, it's just than when you compare how you feel to how everyone else looks, you come across as a being in really good shape. The problem area for you this week has to do with the intimate details of romance. You and your significant other (Politically Correct terms: Lifemate, Animal Companion) are experiencing difficulties in the ability to communicate what each other wants and needs. Try to tone down the sarcasm, if only for a day or two, just let it drop and see if the relationship doesn't smooth out.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: The watchword for this week is "don't do it." You seem to be considering marriage pretty high on your list, and you need to remember that you are essentially a "free bird" and don't need to be confined to a static relationship. In fact, with some of the recent scientific advances, you will find that you have the "relationship challenged" gene in your body chemistry, so think about it before making a lifetime commitment.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: The way things are going for you Capricorn's right now, I ought to be able to interest you in get rich quick scheme. No, it's not Amway, it's merely a gig where you peddle Astrology Reports. Why am I trying to get you set up in a Multi Level Marketing scheme? Because I know, astrologically speaking, that you would buy just about anything this week that smelled like money. Even if that aroma is really faint and view is hazy. Yes, you would buy just about anything this week. I would, of course, advise caution against buying anything but my astrology reports.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: This is a good time for romance. Something along the lines of the marriage you just started. The problems you will face, especially in the coming week, is that you get up just got up and went. You probably have no desire to get up and go to work. If you are a self-employed astrologer or fishing guide, this presents no problems whatsoever. However, in the real world, in real life, there are certain complications. Employers and bosses don't seem to understand that you need a prolonged and protracted vacation.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Talk about energy and a wild time! You sure are feeling the effects of the last vestiges of the "heavy duty responsibility" stuff that Saturn is throwing at you right now. And look at the other stuff that's here, too: Mars and the Sun and the Moon, and even little old Mercury is here, too. What this all means: the springtime bodes a good, if not great, fortune for you. All of your hard work will be suitably rewarded. It's about time that I came up with some good news for you, isn't it?