"Beauty itself doth of itself persuade
The eyes of men without an orator."
Shakespeare's "The Rape of Lucrece" [29-30]

    Fishing Guide to the Stars
    by Kramer Wetzel
    For the week starting: 2.25.2010

Venus and Uranus conjunct next week.

astrofish.net Pisces: Happy birthday to you, and repeat the refrain. Time to dress up for your birthday. I was downtown for business the other afternoon, and there was a guy, olive complexion, I'm guessing Latin roots, and his shirt was bright, deep purple. Dark slacks and a bright white tie.

There's a fine line between tasteful and tacky. I tend to err on the side of tacky, rather regularly. Yet as I walked past this one guy, I was busy trying to figure how to snap a surreptitious image with a phone camera, as it his clothing didn't appear tacky. It looked elegant and refined. Which was just weird, as it set my fashion alert bells jangling.

Looking at my appearance and wardrobe, I'm the last person who can make comments about fashion. Or white ties with purple shirts. But as a Pisces? You can pull something just like that, you can pull it off. Or put it on, rather. Happy birthday. Enjoy. Enjoy something outlandish that really isn't so outlandish.

astrofish.net Aries: Expectancy. Simply put, that feeling that something big is about to happen. I figure it as an air of expectancy. I look at this as there's bunch of planets in Pisces, too. Means, to me, that there's nothing really cooking in Aries. Which is part of the problem, as Aries likes there to always be something cooking.

Between that and the Mars situation? Makes for an unpleasant kind of "there's nothing happening" scene in Aries. Which is the problem. The best way to work around this? There isn't. What you can do, however, is step aside. I mean that figuratively. Maybe literally.
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"When that I was and a little tiny boy,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain;
A foolish thing was but a toy,
For the rain it raineth every day."
Shakespeare's Twelfth-Night; or, What You Will [V.i.350]

    Fishing Guide to the Stars
    by Kramer Wetzel
    For the week starting: 2.18.2010

In Elizabethan England (Shakespeare's era), the average work day was 12 hours long. That was just normal, back then. Labor intensive.

astrofish.net Pisces: Some days, here in Pisces land? Some days, it's like this: I don't know where I'm going but I do know where I've been.

As the Pisces Sun pulls up closer then lines up with Jupiter? There's palpable excitement in Pisces. Despite what everyone else is saying and doing? You just know something good is about to happen.

    Here's a hint: make it happen.

Give the situation, the person the deal you're waiting on? Give it a prod. Stick it. Poke it. Jostle it some. Make it happen by taking some kind of action.

Step forward. Step off. Leap. Jump and the parachute will appear? That's where I sort of suggest that Pisces slow it down. I suggested action, but I suggested action based on the Pisces experience.

Take something you know about, take a topic that you're intimately familiar with, and then take the appropriate next step. Simple planning will help. I'm suggesting you glance back, just once, to see where you've been. I'm not sure where that will lead you, but that's the best place to start. That coming Jupiter alignment is just ever so much fun.

astrofish.net Aries: The Sun's in Pisces, Mars is retrograde and you're hungry. Saturn is also on the opposite side of the wheel. This introduces a kind of tension, like, in your neck. Sort of from one arm, up to the base of your Aries skull. It's not really bad tension, it's just, well, you can feel it there.
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"Devise, wit; write, pen; for I am for whole volumes in folio."
Shakespeare's Love's Labour's Lost [I.ii.96]

    Fishing Guide to the Stars
    by Kramer Wetzel
    For the week starting: 2.11.2010

Two Valentine notes, image and? Bulk mail deadline for VD is past. Mars is retrograde. Is that like Mercury Retrograde? Yes and no.

astrofish.net Aquarius: "Dear Heavenly Flower," that's how I heard the prayer start. Then there's also the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I'm not sure which of these is parody or, for that matter, real. I've joked about the First Church of astrofish.net, and as an ordained minister, it would be legal, but I'm not really willing to go that route. Too many problems, and where to draw the line?

Which is part of what this is about. Where's that line in the sand for an Aquarius? Where's the mythical sword that etches a line that you either cross, or don't cross?

"Who's with me?"

That's the question, but the answer? The variables, the concern for safety? The countryside, the territory I'm most familiar with, the great American Southwest?

I carry a St. Michael's medallion, a St. Christopher, a Virgin of Guadalupe, and a rosary. The last 500 years, or thereabouts, been a heavy "Roman Catholic" influence in these parts. Hence the trappings I carry. Not that I believe in it too much, but as tokens, they are safe. I'm not sure who/what is in charge, but with what's going on in Aquarius? A little divine help is useful. Try what I heard, perfect for Aquarius, "Dear Heavenly Flower," it might grow on you.

astrofish.net Pisces: Traveling "medicine" shows were a staple of the American West. The "medicine" was as much turpentine as alcohol. The alcohol was the primary active ingredient, which was why the old saying goes, "You could always sell snake oil on Sunday." Bars were closed.

The Old West didn't have drive-though, or ride through, package liquor stores. Snake-oil, "medicine," and various other unregulated formulas were as much about the sales pitch as the snake-oil was about what it did, its purported curative and restorative qualities. For a hangover crowd, too, the alcohol might truly have curative and restorative powers.

Regrettably, those other ingredients might cause some bad side-effects.

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"For they sleep between term and term,
And then they perceive not how Time moves."
Shakespeare's As You Like It [III.ii.133]

    Fishing Guide to the Stars
    by Kramer Wetzel
    For the week starting: 2.4.2010

In Louisiana, a place close to Texas, there's a tradition of the King Cake. Aries? Pisces? One of those signs should get the baby in the cake. It's good luck.

astrofish.net Aquarius: I, personally, believe that children shouldn't be allowed to watch too much TV. However, for the sake of illustrating what's happening in Aquarius? Imagine a Saturday morning cartoon, from the good, old days.

Cartoon character. A caricature of an anvil drops from on high. If this cartoon followed the plot, that anvil should have an impact on the character. Since it was cartoon physics, no real injury would occur other than little birds and stars swimming around the character's head.

As I correlated your chart, though, I was getting a slightly different version of the this cartoon. Yes, you're there. Yes, the anvil drops. Stand still. First off, if it really did land on your (cartoon) head, there would be no permanent damage, cartoon physics and all. However, the way it looks to me? Just stand there. The anvil misses you.

astrofish.net Pisces: It's all about guilty little pleasures. In my favorite example, this week, I was listening to a CD. Really, it's pair of CDs, a "Rock Opera." Quadrophenia by The Who. This is that material that falls between selling out to TV and after critical acclaim. The movie derived from the CD set, really it was an album first, but the movie? Starred a very young Sting. Before the Police.
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"We may, each wreathed in the other's arms
Our pastimes done, possess a golden slumber"
Shakespeare's Titus Andronicus [II.iii.28-9]

    Fishing Guide to the Stars
    by Kramer Wetzel
    For the week starting: 1.28.2010

Aquarius: Microwave bacon is a heaven-sent. It's fast, the cooking is enclosed, and the product is one of the few radiated foods that's -- arguably -- tastier than the original version, in the frying pan. After a couple of household shuffles, though, I lost my old "bacon microwave dish." It wasn't much more than a hard plastic dish that could be used to roll paint, or make bacon. Or, in my case, any number of meat and meaty byproduct meals.

I went on a journey to acquire another "bacon maker." I had no luck at the big, fine, super housewares store. No luck at the Super Wal-Mart. Not Target, not HEB (local grocery chain), not at Fiesta (another local chain), nowhere to be found. I began to question my own motives, and I had to question the validity of the search. Which, if one considers that it's an item no longer available in the usual places, maybe, well, any good Aquarius will redouble the efforts.

With a backwards Mars opposing you? What's going to happen? I was in an electronics superstore in Austin, a place called, oddly enough, Fry's. I was looking for cables and computer hardware. My date -- and my ride -- she asked if I was still looking for a bacon maker. I nodded and she showed me one. In Fry's of all places. It's not what you're looking for, it's where you look. Especially under that Mars influence.


I was in a little taco place, not far from home. Literally, right around the corner. Great place, if a little short on traditional ambience. Not the most photogenic place in the world; however, the food is continually plentiful and tasty. Inexpensive, plentiful and really good. Filling and fresh. Maybe not the place you'd take your mother, I'm just saying. The other morning, the coffee tasted, not just good, but extra special good.

From my seat, as I looked up over a morning paper -- English paper kind of hard to find there -- I asked, in fluent French, "Quel coffee aujoudui?" (What kind of coffee today?") Yeah that's me, right thing to say, in the most beautiful language in the world, and all they think there? "Crazy (euphemism for pale -- anglo -- male)." In a version of Spanish vernacular. TexMex swearing in a TexMex place. I'm the one who's out of place.

But the coffee was just excellent. I'm not sure what the magic was, a clear palate? The aromatic blend of a hot griddle, bacon and deep-fried pork rinds? Perhaps there was a pecan blend in the coffee. I doubt it. Maybe it was early enough that the equipment was clean. I doubt that was it. Maybe a leftover hint of cinnamon. Maybe that was it. Maybe, just a working theory for Pisces, maybe it was a clear winter's morning, like any day now, and it was one of those mornings when your head is clear, the Pisces eyesight works better, and no one gets it.

Aries: My little March Aries are having a bit of a tough go with the planet Saturn, these days. Not getting everyone, but some of the Aries are at a point where there's a major amount of consternation and a distinct lack of concern from other people. Buried in the American Psyche, though, there's a simple, "I can do this myself" attitude, part of that is our pioneer spirit, and part of that just has to be genetically encoded over generations of Americans.

I just have that little belief in the population as a whole "Can-do" and will. This is a gentle kick in the butt, from me, to your Aries self. Do it. Yes, the odds are long. So are the hours. Long, hard hours, arduous work, and the promise is great; however, the immediate pay-off looks to be pretty slim. Doesn't mean it's not worth it. Look for that, "If it's meant to be, then it's up to me," kind of spirit down in your Aries soul. I know it's there. Use it. Yes, you're going to feel like you're all alone. No, you're not. But it might feel that way.

Your "ruling planet," Mars, is backwards. Just means it's up to you to get this thing done.

Taurus: A buddy of mine was delineating a recent foray into the medical side of life. At a point in her life wherein she needed to find out why her body was reacting the way it was reacting. After a collection of tests and blood work, the doctor, or team of doctors, or the person who probably really did all the work, the physician's assistant, probably, she was told that she was "Lactose Intolerant." Which evoked a reaction, "How can I be 'lactose intolerant?' I don't even know what lactose is!"

As Mars makes his way backwards in Leo, a fixed sign, and as the Sun, Venus, Chiron and Neptune slide through Aquarius, remember that you're being acted upon by forces you might, or might not, want to acknowledge. However, that doesn't stop the interaction between all those fixed planets and your Taurus self.

The solution, though, just like the medical prognosis for my little friend? Just stop. A simple dietary change, just an adjustment to her lifestyle? Everything was better. Almost immediately.

Gemini: "I always tell them, 'It's on aisle 11,' and that answers the question." Buddy of mine was working in a grocery store. I got to asking him about customers and questions, and what was the normal drill. "Doesn't matter what they're looking for, it's always on Aisle 11," he was explaining. I haven't checked, but I wouldn't be surprised to find that there would only be 10 aisles in that store.

I wouldn't put it past my Gemini friends. Sounds like a usual, flippant answer. The problems, though, we're facing these days? You're looking for something that is lost. Could be a person. Could be an idea. Could be the car keys. Ask the right person, and you'll get a real answer. Ask the wrong person? Or if you're Gemini answering questions? Bet the person, the place, the thing that you're looking for? Probably on Aisle 11.

Cancer: I used to order a green tea in the afternoon. Hot afternoon, an iced green tea is good. I like mine well, the brand name is obvious, but I like mine strong. I'll sip at it while the ice melts and waters down the green tea to its normal mix. I was ordering some the other afternoon. "Extra strong," I said. "Oh, no water?" the clerk asked. "Right, no water," I said. "Oh, okay, extra strong?" The clerk asked. "Right," I said, and this begins to look like a comedy routine. Which, I couldn't tell if the clerk was serious as he had that earnest look in his eyes. And it wasn't my usual location. Order should be the same.

I like the place I usually trade, as this wouldn't turn into a comedy routine. Makes it much easier. The bigger problem, in my mind, though, was gauging whether this was humor, what passed for humor, or if it was merely a counter person making an effort to appease a surly customer.

I don't know if you like your iced green tea extra strong. I do. That extra large size, too. Ice and strong tea. Works well on hot afternoons. Might not be warm weather everywhere, but it was just last week, and the tea was the right concoction. Only, either me, or the clerk, was having a hard time. Which was it? Does it really matter?

In the Cancer slice of sky, there's going to be an ongoing, maybe a running joke, kind of feeling, only, the problem is, you're not sure if it's a joke or the other person is serious. Even after thinking about it for the duration of that ice tea? I still don't know the right answer. Be careful. Never a good idea to offend the people who serve us food stuffs (and beverages).
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