Cancer the Crab, approximate dates: June 21-July 22
Ruled by: The Moon
Flavor: Chicken Fried Steak. I mean, there’s nothing that so reminds me of Cancer chart that serious Southern Comfort Food. And what is more comforting than Chicken Fried Steak? It’s a meal that all those home-style restaurants have. Maybe some greens, and mashed potatoes, a little dinner salad with some Ranch Dressing? Is this Cancer, or what? It’s that “home-style” thing that works. Really good cream gravy is part of this package, too, with just a sprinkling of black pepper, not too much to overpower the flavor, but just enough to enhance it. Cancer is a simple dish, served with a delicious flavor and aroma that evokes the idea of “homemade.”
Grocery store: Look out baked goods, here comes Cancer. In the grocery store, the Cancer is often found lingering over the pastries and other, similar baked goods. Nothing is quite like this. I observed, on many occasions, my favorite Cancer male subject in the store at weird hours of the night, searching for a cupcake. If you really want to see what catches a Cancer, eschew other bait, and lay a trail of cupcakes and cookies. It isn’t guaranteed to work, but I’ve seen it be pretty effective, in fact, more effective than some real bait I’ve used.
Walmart at midnight: A Cancer might loathe the very idea of shopping at a discount warehouse of a place, but there’s a slightly pecuniary side to the Crab as well, and this makes shopping strikes, especially after midnight, a good idea. Of course, there’s a lack of direction that the Cancer subject might display, sort of an idle, almost aimless wandering around the store at that hour. There’s a chance to linger over the various food groups — of course, nothing there will match up to the Cancer’s degree of taste. Still, there are those old blueberry muffins that look good — and then there’s the clothing section because you can never tell what kind of a bargain you might find on a decent shirt. And don’t forget the oil for the truck, you’ve been meaning to pick up an extra quart. See what happens with the Cancer in the store at this hour?
Brick wall: When confronted with an immovable object, square in the face, like the ubiquitous brickwall, the Cancer usually reverts to what his sign is symbolic of: the Crab. Sure, a Crustacean is a shellfish, lives in and out of the water, but have you ever really observed a little crab down at the beach? I had chance no long ago, down on the Texas Gulf Coast. And it’s really true — the crabs don’t seem to move in a forward direction. With their big claws and funny shell, the crab always seems to move sideways. And that’s how a Cancer often approaches a problem: sideways. He’ll scamper to the left, to right, but never come out and address the problem head on. Just like the crab at the beach. There is a way around the problem, and the Cancer might be able to find it, as long as it isn’t sitting right in front of him.
Bait: Bacon strips — Nothing works better for catching a Cancer than food. And what could be a more tasty bait than a nice, decent bacon strip? In fact, a bacon strip that is double-hooked works even better. The only other thing I’ve seen work on Cancer is a little fish that looks like a minnow, but seems to be a major ingredient in Caesar Salad and compliments Pineapple on pizza. Be forewarned, not every one likes them little fish. I’d stick to the Bacon, myself.
Revenge: Cancer and its ruling planet the Moon are intimately associated with water. The best way to get even with a Cancer is to dry them out. Or take them away from their source of water. Sounds a bit abstract? Remove the emotional comfort zone from a Cancer’s immediate proximity and watch them squirm. It¹s the easiest way to upset them. Now, the comfort zone varies for the individual, but it could be food, a place at the beach, a spot by a stream, maybe even a swimming pool. Drain the pool, so to speak, and that is what gets to the Cancer.
Body part: Stomach and breasts.
Famouse folks with the Sun in Cancer: Georgio Armani, Bill Blass, Pearl Buck, Kim Carnes, Vicki Carr, Marc Chagall, Calvin Coolidge, Arlo Guthrie, H. Rider Haggard, Ernest Hemingway, Hermann Hesse, Frida Kahlo, Gustav Mahler, Brian May, George Orwell, H. Ross Perot, Richard Petty, Marcel Proust, Linda Ronstadt, Antoine de Saint-Exupery, Carlos Santana, Ringo Starr, George Steinbrenner, Cat Stevens, Hunter S. Thompson, Abrigail Van Buren, and James Wyeth.
SUN in CANCER
The original Bubba is a Cancer. Kind of a good start to all this, isn’t it? Cancer is a fertile sign, indicating strong nurturing instincts; it means you need to be needed and want to feel part of a family. If you’re not careful, you will use food as emotional consolation. To this end, Cancer is sometimes known as the “live to eat free” sign, too, and you love happy hour buffets. Cancer was also considered, in Ancient Egyptian Astrology, to be the House of the Soul. Ever thought about the Blues? Ever feel like you’ve lived the Blues? Your family interests often lead to an interest in genealogy and history.
You are a “doer” who has an emotional reaction to everything. This means you can be moody and extremely sensitive. You hate being alone. You can be somewhat manipulative because of your strong will and willingness to use the indirect approach. You are often overly sentimental. You often hide true ambitions. You have a concern for the welfare of others which can render you a prisoner of emotions. You seem like you can be outwardly gregarious but shy and secretive about personal matters. However, you are not one to suffer in silence.
You are definitely intuitive and quite possibly an avid collector who hates to throw anything away. Get over it: you find it difficult to give up failed relationships. You also have trouble learning the difference between caring and possessiveness. All in all, though, you are creative and a lover of art and music.
For listening suggestions, try Chopin’s “Preludes,” Brahm’s “Alto Rhapsody” or Pearl Jam’s “Vitalogy.”
Cancer is ruled by the Moon, and this means your ascendant is ruled by the Moon. In the older astrology texts, and common with some Astrology lore, this means you’re likely to have a large, oval face and a pale complexion. In the real world, it doesn’t always show up this way, despite years and years of research. Marriage, even though it’s a big deal for Cancer-ruled chart, might not happen as fast as you would like. In fact, you are likely to be drawn towards an older or more mature kind of partner. Typical of the Cancer-like behavior, you’re going to find that you are reticent about admitting to what the truth in a situation is. You tend to hide the soft, underside of your soul from the exigencies of the outer world by appearing like a force to be reckoned with. It’s a good dodge. The “home” and “Moon” stuff also suggest that you can be a delightfully good cook. You might have baldness or fine hair. 3 to 1 odds you have an addictive personality. You do tend to nurture and, on the flip side of the nurture coin, you also really like to be nurtured yourself.
Famous folks with Cancer Ascendant: Douglas Adams, Irving Berlin, William Blake, Bill Blass, Anthony Burgess, Karen Carpenter, Salvador Dali, Keith Emerson, Larry Flynt, Bill Gates, Emmylou Harris, Billy Joel, Noel Tyl, and Al Unser.
MOON in CANCER
The Moon rules Cancer. That’s usually a good indicator. In this case, it’s a good indicator that you might come across as physically awkward, self-serving, and influenced by the people you spend the most time with. Relax, you are also very intuitive. Wonderfully creative. You will spend some time seeking emotional security, and might have a problem with motivation. You will probably be passive-aggressive. Laziness will cause disorganization and sloppiness for you. You are forever collecting odd bits because you can’t throw anything away. Hey, it’s got some value. You are most likely shy yet hospitable. Maybe philanthropic, too. And you have a strong identification with your family. Food is probably a pacifier for you, and you are given to fits of hysteria or other forms of emotional overindulgence.
Famous folks with Moon in Cancer: Charles Atlas, William Blake, Emily Bronte, Jerry Brown, Pearl Buck, Lord Byron, Kurt Cobain, Ray Davies, Guy DeMaupassant, Christian Dior, Aretha Franklin, Robert Frost, Janis Joplin, Douglas MacArthur, Norman Mailer, Thomas Mann, H. Ross Perot, Dan Rather, Oral Roberts, FRanklin D. Roosevelt, Nancy Sinatra, Steve Wozniak, and Moon Unit Zappa.