Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 12.31.2015

    Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie,
    Which we ascribe to heaven. The fated sky
    Gives us free scope, only doth backward pull
    Our slow designs when we ourselves are dull.
    Helena in Shakespeare’s All’s Well That Ends Well (1.1.118-20)

2016: “Working title, 2016” talking notes for January’s predictions, notes are here.

    Now at the Harry Ransom Center at UT, Shakespeare in Print and Performance. Hopefully, some questions answered.

“The fated sky/Gives us free scope,” was what caught my attention. The heavens, the planets and stars, they write our horoscopes. There is always free will.

Mercury starts its first retrograde pattern this week, 1/5/16, at 1 degree of Aquarius, eventually turning direct 1/25/16 14 degrees of Capricorn, turning retrograde again 4/28/16 at 23 Taurus, turning direct 5/22/16 at 14 Taurus. Mercury goes retrograde 8/30/16 at 29 Virgo, turning direct at 14 Virgo, when the Sun is at 29 Virgo. Finally, Mercury goes retrograde (conjunct Pluto) at 15 Capricorn, turning direct at 28 Sagittarius, on 1/8/2017.

The Mercury Retrograde pattern is clearly oriented towards the “Earth Elementals,” and the first one, starting at 1 degree of Aquarius? A Fixed Air Sign? This is year when long-standing beliefs and entrenched ideals should be re-examined under the cold, clear light of the Mercury Retrograde. Road-tested, so to suggest.

Mars goes Retrograde at 8 degrees of Sagittarius 4/17/16, eventually turning direct at 23 Scorpio 6/29/16. Mars in this retrograde pattern is eerily reminiscent of affairs of the heart that might, or might not be, in the lovers’ best interests. We shall see, as the year progresses. Just a Mars “Heads up,” so to speak.

Jupiter, the lucky star, goes retrograde 1/7/16 in Virgo, turning direct 5/9/16. Eventually, the Lucky Star is headed into Libra, 9/9/16.

Saturn, that burly old taskmaster, 3/25/16 in Sagittarius, that-you-very-much, turning direct 8/13/16.

Uranus, the fun one? Starts a retrograde pattern 7/29/16 turning direct 12/29/16, which, in some ways, should wrap the year.

Couple of high points to the year, the Mars Retrograde sets a tone and pattern to the year and it’s a chance to overhaul a situation where too much passion is not backed with a commiserate amount of value.

Horoscopes by the Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 12.31.2015


10capThe way I heard it? “If you can’t explain to a six year-old? Then it’s too complicated.” There’s a certain truth that rings through with that comment. Trying to wrap next week, and give an overview for the next year in single expression is difficult, but the goal is to strive for simplicity. Less complexity in the Capricorn life, and a simpler, perhaps more Spartan wrapper.

“Less is more.”

Goes against the grain of what previous American generations have thought, what we’ve been taught, but that’s the idea.

“Less is more.”

There was a recent “design trend” that emphasized “minimalism.” The trick, this birthday week, this Capricorn month and for the ensuing 12 months? Take away. Remove one item that no longer serves a useful purpose. It’s about trimming unwanted, unnecessary items that require too much valuable Capricorn energy to maintain. When the cost of the keeping it up, I’m thinking energetically here, when the cost outweighs the benefit? Time to recycle that item. Recycle, repurpose, reuse, refuse. Just because it no longer serves Capricorn well? Can it it be used elsewhere, for someone else?

“Less is more,” make it easy on yourself. Consider this a time for “proactive” Capricorn recycling.

Horoscope Audio Version


AquariusMaybe I’ve asked before, but the question cycled up again, and looking at the next week, the next year? What’s one book that changed your life? A single book, be it text book, fiction, nonfiction, religious, spiritual, or just fluff? One book that changed everything?

For me, I can trace the book, the single book full of ideas that was also, at the time, a ripping good yarn? Stranger in a Strange Land by Robert A. Heinlein. As a youngster, I read a number of his pulp-like, what would now be called YA, novels. Written to pique an interest in science and exploration, self-sustaining, and with thoughts about future and individual responsibility, the material was safe, perhaps an early form of info-tainment. However, it was the ground-breaking Stranger in a Strange Land that left some kind of a mark on my soul. That’s my example. In world awash in words and literary moments at our fingertips, the basic material of a single book, book-like collection of words, which one has had the greatest impact on the Aquarius life?

In this next week, might want to dig out a copy of that text. Honor Mercury in Retrograde. In this next year? Might be a good thing to revisit that text, and see how it holds up under the scrutiny of years.


PiscesYou know that little voice in your head that says, “Don’t do it?” Yeah, I don’t have one of those voices. I taught it to shut up years ago. “Don’t do it! Don’t do it!” Yeah, not a common expression from my brain. As a Pisces, there’s a familiar expression, and like me? Ignore it.

If one is good? Then maybe three would be better!

This next year includes an invitation to do something that you know you shouldn’t do, and despite my best underpinnings of guilt? Go for it.

“You ever have that little voice say, ‘Don’t do it?’ Yeah, me neither.”


AriesThe New Year coincides with positive, forward motion. When Mar slips into a sign that he likes? Like super-secretive Scorpio? As Mars makes motion forward, so does Aries.

It’s a “Mars thing,” simply put. And this shift is good, even great, as you move forward. There’s still some weird energy loose upon the land, and there’s no way you can rectify all of it. However, the idea that the Mars energy, as it gradually stops “hunting,” it settles down and picks one direction. Buddy’s dog, good bird dog. Guy’s not named “Bubba,” but thanks for asking. That dog, it takes a few minutes to catch a scent. He’s over here, over there, seeking, looking, waiting to catch a whiff of which direction to go. Once Mars picks the correct direction, it’s like the baying of that old bloodhound, hot on the trail. So the first few days, the Aries is “hunting,” looking for direction, and once Mars finally shifts? Wham! Away we go! Focused, clear on the direction, off to the races. Ready to go. Get ready, and start looking for that direction. It will be clear, for the rest of the year, once we get there.


Taurus“This time is going to be different!” New year, fresh start, and the usual claim? “This time will be different!”

Exactly how are we, here in Taurus land, going to make this time different from the other times? I was working on a theory, a way to make this next year really work well for Taurus. What I came up with? A bass line. Most music, in the last couple of hundred years, in the last three centuries, the bass line, along with drums, but the bass line is what leads the music. As a Taurus, musical or not, the idea that a strong bass line is what moves us forward, gives us consistency? That’s what this next year is about.

There’s a strong “thump” required, a regular beat. To some, this kind of sounds like an amplified heart beat. To others, an electronic dance beat. To some, it’s stand up bass and snare, keeping time. The signature line varies, but the idea, to make this year different? There’s a constancy, a beat, a track Taurus wants to lay down so we don’t veer from our course, and that means? This year year really will be different. Lay down that beat, get in the Taurus groove, whatever it is.


GeminiIf you get too logical, too rational? Irrationality is the only answer.

It’s short observation and over the next week, then, as everything falls apart? It will make more sense.

If you get too logical, too rational? Irrationality is the only answer.

Good luck and check back with me.


CancerThis is an old trope, seen it on TV before. In real life, though, it happened to me. Made me think about this week, this year ahead for Cancer. I was in a local retail establishment, a service that I use on an infrequent but semi-regular basis. I’m more than passing familiar with one of the employees there, an attractive woman of almost appropriate age. As I strolled in the other afternoon, she glanced up at me from her task at hand and mumbled a semi-cheery, holiday season, you know, “Hello.”

As I glanced over, I was much taken back, as she was wearing heavy, dark rim glasses. Nerd glasses, to some. She’s always been a nice person, but the glasses, which I’ve never seen before? She looked smarter. The black frames, probably like a Ray-Ban, gave her an intelligent look. From my brief interactions with her, I know she’s already above average intellect, it’s just, with the glasses on? That punctuated the effect. Made her look “smart.” As I’ve suggested, this isn’t a new trick, how to appear “smart,” with the proper prop, the right accessory seems to emphasize a trait or characteristic. What amused me that afternoon was how amused I was by the notion that the simple addition of glasses, in my weak mind, increased her intellectual output. All done with accessories and props, nothing more. This year, starting this week, requires a special, very Cancer-like prop. I’d look at this as a token for the year, but whatever works, as Mars shifts signs.

The (mighty) Leo:

The LeoThe beat may go on, but given this year’s weirdness quotient for Majestic Leo? The beat goes on, but you’ll find, in the next few days, and part of this next week, and even into segments of the new year? You’ll find that you miss the tempo. You can’t get synched up to the beat. The beat may go on, but it will probably elude your Leo grasp. You shake one way, and the beat goes on — in an another direction. The old rub, “Dance like no one is watching?” Doesn’t work. Or might, if you can do this more privately. The deal is mostly Mars, there are other influences, but again, it’s mostly Mars this week, and this sets a tone for the coming year.

The image for this week, and sets the tone for the month? The beat goes on, but mighty Leo might not be quite in tune with the rhythm. Not bad, as you do have rhythm, just might not be to what the rest of us — the lesser 11 — might not be what we’re hearing. It’s syncopation versus cacophony. The beat goes on, but you might appear out of sync. Doesn’t mean it’s not good, just not on the same time/rhythm as the rest of the zodiac.


VirgoVirgo girl, had this T-shirt on, reminded me to mention this, for this next year. T-shirt? It read, “Fish naked! Show us your pole!” While it’s a bit too explicit for some Virgo types, the inherent message is more clear: don’t tell me, show me. As a Virgo, you’re ready for the new year, and as Virgo, you have certain expectations for the new year, and as a Virgo, there’s but one way to meet these expectations…. Fishing? “Show me your pole.” It has to do with replicable, verifiable, results. See, touch, feel. Prove. If the “Show me your pole” doesn’t work? See, feel, touch.

Results count. Why there are usually pictures of me, with fish, on the websites. Proof.

Results count.


LibraOne of my early reference tomes dealing with astrology? It was book of time tables showing what time zone was where, when. Amusingly, it was addressed to “Time travelers,” as a perfunctory introduction.

As I started analyzing your week and year, the first, most obvious, symbol was Mars as Mars moves into Scorpio in the first few days of the new year. Time, and time travel is what this is about. The next few days, there’s an un-Libra-like urgency that fades away. Time. It’s like you’re time traveling, and no one else seems to be along for the ride. Which is OK, if you pause long enough to sort that out. The time travel is a way to think about the next week and further along? The rest of the year. There’s a sense that you’re moving quicker, and the rest of the world is caught in aspic, like a jelly, frozen in time, like a bug caught in amber? That’s the time-travel. So welcome to the new year and welcome to this week’s theme that can stretch into the following months, but basically? Libra is set to time travel some. As Mars shifts, there will be a more gentle acquiescence.


ScorpioGuns and Roses, or “G’n’R,” as they were commonly addressed? More than a “One-hit-wonder,” but less than a classic, although, through the years, they haven’t fared badly. More like a small footnote in musical history, and as time goes by? Getting smaller and less important. Still, there’s something to the raw and raucous musical expression. One or two of the songs are still in rotation, and those songs are so perfect to express the Scorpio energies. Mars enters. Mars sneaks in on the New Year, and Mars will be all about setting a tone. From quiet, almost disturbing entrance? Just like of the “G’n’R” songs, pick one of the ones, doesn’t matter, the guitar solo, the threadbare beginning of the tune, the hardened “Wall of sound” conclusion?

Mars infuses energy into the Scorpio psyche. Reading this, the last day or two before Mars arrives? Pick some direction, pick some ACTIVITY for Scorpio that will best express the new-found energy. Crank up the tunes.


SagittariusTwo questions, for the next few days, but culminates in the first week of the new year? Two questions, for Sagittarius. That simple, just boiled the whole year, and this week’s stars to two questions.

    What goes?

    What stays?

Two, deceptively simple questions and looking at the way this falls, out, we’re almost at a new moon into the new year, and that’s a time of instigating a change. So between now and then? Remember, this is a Saturn thing, right? This is our year for Mr. Saturn, and the simplest of terms, for our Sagittarius selves?

    What stays?

    What goes?

Easy questions to ask. Stop and consider, as I’ve always liked to point out some bad habits really weren’t so bad, and some good habits weren’t always as healthy as they might seem. But that’s only one example.

    What stays?

    What goes?

Only you can answer for yourself, and these are the two questions to weigh, going forward.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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