Horoscopes by Fishing Guide to the Stars starting 2.9.2012

“Our wills and fates do so run contrary run
That our devices still are overthrown.”
Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Prince of Denmark [III.ii.159-60]

Celebrate with the Valentine’s Special, now in the online shop.

Coming soon: the astrofish.net/marsminute/
Aquarius: Here’s a fine happy birthday to you, too, my little Aquarius friends. It’s about confusion. Although, officially, Neptune has switched into another sign, there’s sense that the confusion is still there. You still seem a little dazed. Not like, you know, totally out of it, man, but you, like, ah, uhm, you know, just a little confused. No, not confused, just unsure. Not unsure, but left wondering, is it this, or is that the one, over there? No, this is it. I’m sure. No, I’m not so sure. It’s this, see, it’s like,, there’s sort of, I don’t want to say it, but there’s an inability to communicate, unable to choose. Not that it’s bad but being indecisive isn’t real, like, you know, isn’t Aquarius-like. Maybe it’s something else in the chart, like, you know? Sure, man, whatever you want to think. It’s not something else in your chart, it’s a simple amount of indecision. Not a problem. Making the right decision can wait. It can wait, can’t it? Sure, I think. Maybe.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Pisces: A banana is not really a fruit. Its proper taxonomy is herb. Oddly enough, for a fruit that isn’t really a fruit? More tons of bananas are consumed than the tonnage of consumed apples and oranges combined. These are either strange facts that are nothing more than mundane trivia, or there’s a point about the facts.

As a Pisces, you’ve long-labored under a single idea. Banana is fruit. Really, banana is different. Another note about the banana? The banana tree, more like a weed, it can’t bear fruit unless it lives in place that hasn’t seen frost in 14 months. Now that is trivia. The fruit connection with the banana isn’t trivial. There’s a single misconception you’ve long labored under, as a Pisces, and that misconception, that will ripped asunder. Could be nice and gentle, like my fruit and banana story, which you’ll have to fact-check for yourself, but anyway, the facts as I present them? Deserve a little checking. Then, after you’re done checking my story, at least one other tale needs to be checked for true and factual representation. Veracity must be ascertained. You’ll find even a quick web search or similar pursuit, a cursory run-through of the available data might turn up glaring inconsistencies that will save your Pisces butt. Don’t say I didn’t suggest you look, first.

DuckDuckGo (search different)

Aries: I’m not sure if I’ve noted this before, it’s more like something I’d dump into a blog rather than use as a horoscope. Yet, here it is. I tend to use cubic zirconium earrings in one ear. I’ve been through a half dozen of them in the last couple of years. Eventually, the diamond-looking post will pull out and it will be lost to goodness knows where, or what. The last time I purchased a set of the earrings, it was a hang-card with six studs, three of each size, discounted to $2. That’s about a buck a pair, or less than 50 cents each. Math is none too good on this one, but still, that’s why I wear fake diamond earrings. During the last two years, I’ve been through three of those earrings. I don’t bemoan the loss. Unless it’s under a loupe, there’s no way to tell if it’s a real diamond or a cheap imitation. There are times and situations that call for the “real thing,” and this week in Aries? Borrow a page from my costume jewelry collection. Fake is every bit as good, and when it goes missing? Who cares?

Taurus: Nearly a decade ago, I stumbled into the idea of burning an audio CD instead of the then-industry standard of cassette tapes to record readings. Me and technology have a long history together. I was toying with the idea of doing readings as a live podcast, like Skype, and recoding that onto a DVD. Great idea. Blank DVDs are cheap these days, in the same price range as blank CDs. It’s a wonderful idea. The problem is the hardware and lag time. I can rip out a short CD and its reading in less than two minutes. A DVD takes much longer to “burn.” I still don’t know why it’s called burning, there isn’t anything fired up, lit up, or otherwise “burning.” Terminology, huh. So the idea of recording a mini-reading as a movie is still in its infant stages. Not happening anytime too soon, although, as bandwidth get cheaper and processor gain in speed and power, it could happen. It’s a matter of working within the “realm of possibilities.” While this is, technologically, I could do it, that doesn’t mean that it’s a productive use of time, or more important, a productive use of processor cycles. The next question, is that my processor cycles or the computer’s cycles? Either one. What’s a productive use of Taurus energy? What’s the most productive way to spend your energy? Look, burning a CD for a reading, that’s a good use of time, but trying to burn a DVD? Recording, editing, then burning it? Too long, too complicated. Stick with fast, easy. This week, anyway.

Gemini: “Do I ever get a break?” Buddy of mine was complaining about my astrological prognostications. “Mars Retrograde, is that like Mercury Retrograde?” Yes and no. The planetary dynamics are similar, but the effect is different. The low-level frustration has something to do with Mars, but by sign, Mars is at a tension angle to Gemini. That’s the source of the trouble, along with the planet’s apparent retrograde motion. I tend to rate this is merely problematic, and I tend to see this as a time — especially this next couple of days — when holes are illuminated. I got out of the shower and as I pushed the plastic liner (only shower curtain I’ve got) aside, I noticed that there were two “moth holes” in it. Moths don’t eat plastic, and I’m at a loss about the occurrence of the holes. Which isn’t the issue. What’s the issue is the way to fix the illuminated problem. New shower curtain. Doesn’t cost much, maybe two dollars, but that fixes the problem. Unless, as a Gemini, you’re going to obsess over the holes, how they got there, and what color shower curtain should be next.

Clear. Think “Psycho.” Clear curtain. No holes. Mars is like that.

Cancer: I sometime veer off into area I ought not wander. My mind is like a bad neighborhood, shouldn’t wander around in there unarmed. Or alone. Towards that end, I happened across a CD in a store, engaging title, strange, if a little homespun, artwork, looked like my kind of musical titles, so I bought it. Wasn’t much, maybe $2 or $5. Not much at all. The title of the CD had “Bubba,” and there was a visual reference to Egyptian mythology. Thought it would be a fun CD, perhaps weird enough to assuage my need for the bizarre. It did nothing of the sort. It wasn’t good music, wasn’t artfully arranged, the best part of the album was the CD slip cover, and that was it. I would have tossed the CD, but something made me hang onto it. Perhaps I bought it at a time when my ears and psyche wasn’t primed for bad rock and roll. As it turned out, that CD, the music therein, only got worse, to the point of the screech of cats, as I listened a second time, maybe a year later.

Here’s what’s important: I tried. I listened, didn’t like it, then, listened again, and it was still crap. But I tried. I kept the CD just for the artwork as that was a study in and of itself in what sells. Do like me, try. Try once, if it doesn’t work, please, by all means, try a second time. However, no sense being a fool about it. It might not be good. Anything past that third try, and you know you’re wasting energy.

Leo: In the natural wheel, used in classical, Western astrology, the Sun is in Aquarius when Valentine’s day hits, and that puts the Sun in the Leo 7th House, again a traditional relationship placement. So this whole Valentine’s Day thing is predicated on The Leo, as it hits when the Sun is in the Leo 7th House of Solar Relationships. Like, the old time monks and astronomers, then the church, all of that, they all agreed that there had to be a relationship holiday in the middle of the winter to make The Leo happy. As you well know, I like to keep The Leo happy. A happy Leo means a happy life. I think that’s how the rhyme went. How it should go, anyway, right? The problem is there is singe, minor obstacle. Here’s the clue: don’t. “Don’t? Don’t what?” Don’t take that very minor problem and turn it into a bigger problem. The frayed thread that unraveled the whole sweater? The single loose nut that let the motor fall out? The little items that, a simple squirt of oil, a simple tightening, or, like that loose thread? Leave it alone. Don’t. Then this week works out well. Happy Valentine’s Day to that one, special Leo!

Virgo: I tend to stop at one or two different Catholic Cathedrals, in my wanderings. Both are hundreds of years old, both of them predate the United States, owing their collective cathedral heritage to Spanish Colonial Conquers. I stopped at one, the other morning, in between my obligations. I feel holy in the old churches. I’m pretty sure I’m not praying to the catholic gods, but I do feel like I’m on sacred ground. What was bothersome, this one relic of a spanish mission, it’s as much a tourist facility as a working parish. I was kneeling on the little kneeling thing they got, what are those rails called? Hands folded, eyes closed, visions of goddesses dancing in my head, and there was a murmur. Wasn’t loud enough to make out all the words, but the click of heels on the hard rock floor, the shuffle and muffle of voices, it was a tour guide doing his bit. I’m not against guides. I’m not opposed to tourists. I find the whole idea invigorating. Still, the problem I had is my morning moment for prayer was rudely interrupted by tourists. Mars is like that tour group, shuffling through your ordered and ordained Virgo life. It’s not a timely interruption, just annoying. How annoying? My non-catholic gods forgave them. But I know it’s all about Mars being RX in Virgo.

Libra: Dredging. This is like dredging. I got interested in the history of a certain ship channel long the Texas Gulf Coast because I like fishing there. I got curious, passing in and around, fishing long the jetty itself, and no one seemed to know a lot of the history. I had to dig a little find out what the real story was. Aransas Pass was started as a deep-water channel for the Port of Corpus Christi, sometime in the 1850-era, but it wasn’t fully functional until after World War I, when the Army Corps of Engineers got involved. Dredging. This started out about dredging through the collective Libra subconscious. Where I wound up with was a half-hour detour into various historical references and few article that were pure fluff for pumping up tourist business, trying to ascertain just what the connection was between Aransas Pass and when the pass was cut. Has to be dredged, occasionally, to keep it clear. The Libra memory needs to be dredged, occasionally, too, to keep it clear. What this is about. Fire up the mental augur and see what you can scoop out of your mind, this next couple of days. Scoop it out and pile it on one side.

Scorpio: Mars is retrograde. Until 1930, Mars was the only planet associated with Scorpio (we can no longer say Mars is the “ruler” of Scorpio, as no one rules a Scorpio.) Mars in its current position, and the falling moon phase means that there’s a level of frustration. I worked with a “public relations” expert for a short while. I was wording a press release, and me, here, I turn out a regular weekly column — 2K+ each week — I couldn’t think of words to write. My press release was too short. Not enough words. Nothing to say. “Write some more!” About what? “About, you know, what you’re doing!” I couldn’t. Seems like the hardest stuff to do is the kind where we have to applaud ourselves. Now then, this Mars, this week, where he is? Same frustration I had when that publicity guru told me to do his job. I’d suggest, the hardest way to answer this week? Write about the Scorpio in the third person, sort of a distant and quasi-royal form. Cruel joke, Mars in apparent retrograde motion, now. HappyVD.

Sagittarius: I started wearing reading glasses when I lived in a trailer in South Austin. I got used to the “Ben Franklin” style as my distance and driving eyesight is fine, it’s jus the repeated, close-up exposure to fine print has finally started to wear me out. Part of getting older. First time I bought reading glasses, I remember exactly where I was, warehouse store, again in South Austin, and the glasses were “4 Pair, $9.” Less than $3 each. That’s why I remember because it was cheap. Still have a couple of those pairs of reading glasses, some bedside, one by the computer, and so on. When Mars does his little backwards dance in Virgo, I keep thinking about the first time I broke down and surrendered to the notion that I needed reading glasses. Mars in Retrograde. In Virgo. Tension angle to Sagittarius. Surrender to the little things. Gain much more than you lose.

Capricorn: In the San Jose Mission, the (self-proclaimed) Queen of the Missions, in San Antonio, there’s a window that is supposedly a portal to other worlds. The myth suggests that it is possible, when conditions are right, to hear the dead and the undead, spirits from other realms, echoing over eons of time.

What I’ve seen, not that I’m naysayer or disbeliever, but what it appears to be to me? Sounds like a distant echo from the highway. When I lived in a trailer park, I could easily hear an echo of the Interstate, bouncing off a neighbor’s trailer. While I’m not dissing the San Jose’s “ghost window,” there are several “windows” in San Antonio’s ghost histories, the Rose Window, which, three different people have pointed to in two different locations, and no one agrees what the real story is.

However, the mythos behind the portal in the San Jose Mission is good, as it would go a long way towards explaining why San Antonio is like a beacon for ghosts. This is about ghosts, real, imagined, or jus the echo from the highway. The conditions are right for Capricorn. Ripe, or right, but I’d tend to think of it as right. Write your own ghost story.