Week of: Mar. 18-24

Week of: Mar. 18-24
Spring Equinox! Party On! Astrological New Year! Surf is UP!

Aries [3/23-4/20]: I’m sure you felt a very welcome relief as a great and dark burden was lifted from shoulders just when the Sun crossed that make-believe line and with the Sun now firmly in Aries, everything is going to get better, right? Well, it is “supposed” to get better, now, and you should look forward to a good birthday celebration. But all of this party action is not without an occasional downside: work. Time for the big real estate deal to come together, time to earn some money, time for some work. Better get used to it because Saturn is coming to town. Fortunately, you like work.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: There’s a long-standing tradition I have about advising buy artwork. Well, tradition not withstanding, this is a great time for you to do just that: buy artwork. Or anything else which enhances and beautifies your home and living arrangements. Your sense of taste and elegance is at an all time high. The problem you might encounter is that the funds you use to buy this would be of the plastic variety and that could create difficulties on down the road of life, i.e., when the bill comes in the mail. Like next month. Be wary of over-extending your credit, no matter how good your artistic sensibilities are right now.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: The bad news is that this week starts out as a bad hair day. And then it turns into what feels like a bad hair week. Look: you were expecting that I would say that it would be a bad hair month next. Nope, that’s not the trend. That Moon moves into your solar first house which means you start feeling a lot better. Look for a giant upswing in events as of the weekend. surround yourself with friends, and take a clue from a Leo: party on!

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: Remember when I suggested that Cancer’s help buy a new bass boat? Did you? Remember, as a water sign, a Cancer needs as much exposure to the calming influence of the water as possible. See? I told you to buy a new boat, but did you listen? No. Now, instead, you are stuck with a romantic relationship which seems to be going no where, and no boat to escape on. Maybe next week, you will remember to look for a new boat.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Big issues this week? Probably not. Just as the Sun hits that magic spring number, the Equinox, you will feel like things couldn’t get much better. There is, as usual, one small drawback: you seem to be rather insistent that you are right and the other person is wrong. If you could watch yourself in the arena of work especially, where you try to impose your own sweet self (and your will) on someone else, this would be helpful. It would be a good time to avoid confrontations.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Circumstances beyond your control. That seems to be the theme you have been facing, especially lately. Problems at work due to “circumstances beyond your control.” Problems at home due to “circumstances beyond your control.” Problems with romance due to “circumstances beyond your control.” Do you see a repetitive pattern here? Is there hope? The answer should be yes and yes, because what is going to unfold this week is a chance to bring about some effective changes, especially at work, where the change will benefit you the most. The other stuff? Well, it is due to circumstances beyond your control, so don’t sweat it.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: If there ever was a good time for taking up self-destructive habits, then this would be the week to start. Last year, the popular escape was heroin. This year? We’re looking at sports like Bass Fishing (always popular) and Golf. Research here at Bubba World Headquarters has indicated that these sports are as addicting as Heroin, and the physical trauma is not nearly as severe. Still, you should not try these sports with adult supervision, nor should you try them when you don’t have A LOT of time to kill. In fact, you don’t have a lot time of time to kill, it’s just that you are looking for a way out this week. Try dealing with what is hand rather than running away. Confrontation this week can yield good results.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: You know, just about everyone else is suffering to a degree this week, and you are no different, it’s just than when you compare how you feel to how everyone else looks, you come across as a being in really good shape. The problem area for you this week has to do with the intimate details of romance. You and your significant other (Politically Correct terms: Lifemate, Animal Companion) are experiencing difficulties in the ability to communicate what each other wants and needs. Try to tone down the sarcasm, if only for a day or two, just let it drop and see if the relationship doesn’t smooth out.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: The watchword for this week is “don’t do it.” You seem to be considering marriage pretty high on your list, and you need to remember that you are essentially a “free bird” and don’t need to be confined to a static relationship. In fact, with some of the recent scientific advances, you will find that you have the “relationship challenged” gene in your body chemistry, so think about it before making a lifetime commitment.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: The way things are going for you Capricorn’s right now, I ought to be able to interest you in get rich quick scheme. No, it’s not Amway, it’s merely a gig where you peddle Astrology Reports. Why am I trying to get you set up in a Multi Level Marketing scheme? Because I know, astrologically speaking, that you would buy just about anything this week that smelled like money. Even if that aroma is really faint and view is hazy. Yes, you would buy just about anything this week. I would, of course, advise caution against buying anything but my astrology reports.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: This is a good time for romance. Something along the lines of the marriage you just started. The problems you will face, especially in the coming week, is that you get up just got up and went. You probably have no desire to get up and go to work. If you are a self-employed astrologer or fishing guide, this presents no problems whatsoever. However, in the real world, in real life, there are certain complications. Employers and bosses don’t seem to understand that you need a prolonged and protracted vacation.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Talk about energy and a wild time! You sure are feeling the effects of the last vestiges of the “heavy duty responsibility” stuff that Saturn is throwing at you right now. And look at the other stuff that’s here, too: Mars and the Sun and the Moon, and even little old Mercury is here, too. What this all means: the springtime bodes a good, if not great, fortune for you. All of your hard work will be suitably rewarded. It’s about time that I came up with some good news for you, isn’t it?

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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