Week of: Mar. 25-31

Week of: Mar. 25-31

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Yes sir, this is the week for Aries. You guys are not only headed for a birthday, or Solar Return as we say in Astrology – speak, but you are headed for a good time as well. The planets have taken a decidedly good turn to make your life just that much better this week. The usual warnings apply with mars making a hasty visit and bringing all of his hot energy with him, though: good week for fishing tournaments; bad week for cheating, i.e., don’t carry a an electrical generator in the boat. The judges may not get a charge out of that.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: See what I said last week. Being that you are a good Taurus (there is no other kind, in all reality), you probably didn’t take advantage of your more than amplified excellence in taste. Try looking at it this way: it’s a good time to redecorate the fishing boat. Some new carpet in the bottom of the Bass Boat might help with your attitude when the fish aren’t hitting too well. You should be able to find some decent shag carpet for the boat this week, something in a tasteful Burnt Orange. Either that, or try Avocado, because green is always an attractive color for you.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: The problem is this, you feel [pretty rotten at the beginning of the week. This does change in a big way, but then, as a Gemini, you often experience mood swings wide as an 18-wheeler making a tight right corner. What this week hold for you? Money. Money and work, if you can hold your attention to it. That’s the good news. The dark side of this good news is that it requires your UNDIVIDED attention, which can be a tedious prospect, at best.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: If you are really quiet for a moment, you will claim that off on the distance you can hear wedding bells. I will assure you that it is a momentary planet line up involving a certain asteroid which acts like a wedding bell rather than the real thing. It is merely your hopes which are ringing right now, and not the real thing. Don’t despair, though, because the real thing is right around the corner. Don’t forget: it is always polite, on the first date, to bait your date’s hook. Just some Fishing advice for the lovelorn.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Well, for you Lions this week, you have a really spooky time coming up. There are going to be a few events which appear out of no where and would, on the surface, seem to have no relation to anything else. That’s just the appearance, though. There really will be something underneath it all. Synchronisity is more than a song by the Police, you know. There will be an underlying thread which will tie events together. Don’t eschew the obvious! Pay attention to the details!

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: With all of your lovely critical facility and great attention to detail, it’s just too bad that you couldn’t lend poor old Leo some of that energy — they could all use it right now. You, on the other hand (or other paw as the case may be), need to tone it down just a little bit. There has been a lot of interesting energy stirred up in respect to relationships, especially in the last few months and this stuff is all coming quickly to heated and rolling boil. Romance is hot this week. Deal with it.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: It doesn’t matter what I say, or what I tell you this week, you are probably not going to listen to me, or anyone else for that matter. You’ve got your head made up about what is right, and that is that. I guess I should leave well enough alone, but I can’t. Watch out for faulty depth finders in the bass boat. In the real world, be wary of mechanical or electrical devices which let you down at the worst possible time. It could be people, too, but I would look more for a conspiracy amongst machines in your life.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: You know, it was just last year when Pluto finally got done with a the Scorpio Tango, and now you’ve got an additional burden from two toxic twins, Pallas and Vesta are doing this harmonic number with you and both these guys want you to be shrewd and analytical of situations. First of all, these are mere asteroids, not planets and the effect is greatly lessened. Secondly, this won’t last long. Thirdly, like any good Virgo, you just need to “GET OVER IT!” Did you understand that, oh mean spirited Scorpio?

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Oh don’t you feel cavalier this week! Things are running along as smoothly as possible for you. The spring time looks like it holds some more excitement and travel for you, and it is a good thing that passport is up to date, because foreign travel looks imminent this late spring. What? Your passport is not up to date? Better get on it, dear Sagittarius friend. You are going places soon.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: Money, an ever popular topic with Capricorn, is ever more popular now. You should be making a lot of it. First off, though, I trust you didn’t buy any schemes which promised quick riches overnight. If you did, you will learn the painful lesson about no one ever getting rich quick. Ask any billionaire — they all will tell you it took a year or two. So be it. You are in a position where you can lay the groundwork to make a lot of money, later. Like next year. But you have some background checking to do, first.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: You know, all I can say right now, is that I wish I had more Aquarius in my chart. You people with the Sun in Aquarius are getting beneficial blasts from about three different directions, the least of which is not from your own ruler who is making life incredibly interesting for you. I just hope you stay away from MY computer. You feel as if there is a jolt of electricity flowing through you, even as you are reading this. That’s the good news. Now, if you could only figure out how to direct this juice….

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Feel a collective and welcome sigh of relief from all of the those (un) fortunate souls born under this last sign in the zodiac? I kept telling you it was getting better in March, and now, as the month draws to a close, you feel like you are closing out another chapter of the book life. Relax a little and enjoy the spring time coming up. The Blue Bonnets will be out in force soon enough, and that ought to make you happy. times like this, I just wish I had more Pisces in my chart, too. Yes, it’s supposed to be that good.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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