Week of: Apr. 15-21
Aries [3/23-4/20]: The significant events in your life, and the stuff (or things or fame and fortune) that you have all wanted now lays firmly within your greedy little grasp. If you really want it, now’s the time to go for it. Right now. Do it. Go for it. Grab the brass ring. In case you don’t understand that last one, the Universe (or whatever belief system you’ve got) is conspiring to make your life one long, hard day at the office. The upside is that you reap a reward from hard work.
Taurus [4/21-5/22]: This week will find you a lot more animated than ever before. In fact, you will appear to be so animated, some of your friends won’t want to sit in a fishing boat with you, at least, not for long. Be careful that you don’t find yourself over-acting when you should just sit down, shut up and fish. When you’re bait is in the water, it is a good time to be contemplative and reflective, not running your over-active mouth. Get the hint?
Gemini [5/23-6/21]: The week starts out with a cool angle between Venus, the Goddess of Love, and Pallas, the feminist asteroid of quick and insightful thinking. And what does this mean? If you can, this is a good week to take a serious look at making an investment in the art marketplace. In fact, if you are really interested, I happen to know where you can get some special black velvet painting: Jesus, Elvis and Willie Nelson, the Holy Trinity — all on one painting. Really. Special deal. Remember, it’s not just artwork to enjoy, it’s also an investment.
Cancer [6/22-7/22]: I sure hope you overhauled the outboard motor last week. I really do. And charged up the battery for the trolling motor, too, because we are definitely going to need it this weekend. It’s time to go trolling. There’s a special sweet spot, just under the willows along the northern edge of the lake, I’ll show you. We can catch our limit in no time, then take the rest of the day off. Make sure you are ready for the fishing party!
Leo [7/23-8/23]: Is the divorce final yet? Actually, I guess I should back up and start at the beginning… have you started the proceedings for a divorce? Thought about them? Maybe this isn’t affecting your love life, but you might find that there is trouble in paradise in respect to a business dealing. If you went halvers on a boat, you might find yourself in a deep trouble because you are going to be “discussing at the top of your lungs” where the boat should go, and whose weekend it is. If you follow my advice, you’ll bail out of the partnership.
Virgo [8/24-9/23]: The wedding notion seizes you again this week, and you get even more emotional about it. Sorry about that. You just feel like you should be married right now, and the one thing I would definitely caution you about is making unwise decisions regarding mates. Be wary of “love at first sight” which might be “lust at first sight” which might really turn out to be “disgust at first sight” because that’s what the object of your attention will do to you in the long run.
Libra [9/24-10/23]: Go back and read Virgo for this week, so I don’t have to copy and paste everything all over again. Basically, this is the message: careful with the romantic relationship questions right now. You are gazing deeply into your own navel, trying figure yourself out, and that should be work enough. Trying to make heads or tales out of some one else’s life is just plan foolish. Like I said, check with a Virgo, first.
Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: I’ve been accused of picking on Scorpio’s. But what other sign would be a more apt sign for a little SARCASTIC humor? You realize, and this idea is certainly highlighted this week, that most Scorpio’s (I know you are different) have this intense look, and burning stare which melts mere mortals. It looks like you know something. The problem you came face to face with this week is that maybe you don’t actually know anything. Someone might be stupid enough to call your bluff.
Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: This week starts off with a remarkable interest in home and taking care of the homestead, and the week finishes up with you doing something really productive like fixing the riding mower so your significant other (wife, spouse, whatever) can finish mowing the back 40. In other words, probably no fishing this week. That’s the bad news. You do, however, manage to clean up a few loose ends around the house.
Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: By now, the good fortune has passed by the Christmas babies, but the later degrees of Capricorn are start to reel a little bit from the effects of Jupiter. To make matters worse, we had a Capricorn moon this week, and you know what that does to you…. Anyway, the pressure is beginning to lessen, if only by a degree, but knocking a stringed instrument out of tune can be unpleasant. What will it be, dear Capricorn?
Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: I would never think about sending anything too highbrow past you guys, but some of the repartee from Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing would really, really fit. I was considering some of the opening salvo between Benedict and Beatrice. “She is too low for high praise, to brown for fair praise, and too little for great praise.” (I.i.164-6). Get the hint, Bubba? Honeymoon is over, and the new has worn off the boat. Did you make a good decision, or what?
Pisces [2/19-3/22]: The stars have been treating poor, old hapless Pisces with a cruel turn every day for what seems like an eternity. The best of possible news is here: the good times are right ahead, and you are set to enjoy them. Although it is against my nature to wax romantic or happy about an upcoming situation, you are definitely headed in a direction this week which will yield many happy moments. I would appreciate a wedding invitation. I’ll decline, of course, but the invite would be nice.
