Week of: September 2-8

Week of: September 2-8

    With two astrological events going this week, I have a real historical question
    for the legions of of the FGS Faithful, a history question and great quote
    to start off this week:

    Who said “Kill them all and let God sort them out”? This question was sent in by an alert reader from Waco, which I’m sure is just another happy coincidence. Name the speaker and get a free “El-cheapo el charto el reporto” from
    FGS World Headquarters.

    Speaking of happy coincidences, and in line with this week’s quote, Mercury goes
    backwards, starting the every fateful and overly dreaded Mercury Retrograde time.
    My faithful editor, BenBubba@aol.com, has numerous problems
    editing my text at times like this because mercury RX means rgsr wcwergubg fiwa
    rf agur.

    On a much happier note, the lucky star, Jupiter (which is actually a planet,
    but that’s another story) goes direct, ending a summer long hiatus to the real
    estate market and signaling all sorts of goodness. Right. Ask Mercury about that.

    Aries [3/23-4/20]: Mercury (the planet, not the outboard motor) is now retrograde
    opposite you. That’s the problem. In fact, there are several “unusual” aspects
    going on this week so I would advise a little caution, especially when dealing
    with that extra work load this week. What’s this planetary movement mean to
    you? Watch out for parts that come flying off outboard motors, and especially,
    be
    careful with electricity. One Aries fishing friend, as an example, had his
    trolling motor just quit for no apparent reason. It’s them pesky planets again.

    Taurus [4/21-5/22]: Whilst I’m warning all the other signs about bad stuff in
    the planets, I’m telling you that there aren’t going to be too many problems,
    at least, not at the first of the week. Then, by mid-week, the whole thing goes
    in the dumpster. The only truly uplifting note is that you will survive in a
    fine fashion.

    Gemini [5/23-6/21]: You’re face to face with another one of them weeks when
    it feels like everything is all wrong. One teacher says, “If you handle this constructively, a lot of good can come out of it….” and
    not that I want to thumb my nose at any teacher, but getting a Gemini to do
    any hard work IS hard work. Therefore, I must sadly predict that not much is
    going
    to come out of this week. You’ll finds yourself frustrated with work. You’re
    going to be forceful when you should be apologetic. And so on. I warned you,
    but did you listen?

    Cancer [6/22-7/22]: I sure hope you’ve got a firm grip on your hat because with
    the sudden changes in the winds of fate, you might find yourself chasing your
    poor hat across the lake. From low to high, in such a sudden shift, it’s amazing
    comeback you’ve staged. And that new romance should be coasting along right nice
    by now because there is an added degree of stability. That’s what all the feuding
    was about last week. Now, if we can just get you to hold onto your hat.

    Leo [7/23-8/23]: Venus comes dragging her sorry little butt in to your sign
    this week. For most, this is a good thing, but for the majestic Leo, a puny
    little “feminist” planet like Venus can only serve as an irritant. Like the proverbial “burr under your saddle,” Venus
    is here to remind you that in the Mayan Calendar, a stout Venus conjunction
    was a good time for war. So much for peace and harmony out of this planet.
    Love or
    war, on of the two, but you’ve got a good week ahead for you, provided you
    don’t let yourself be seduced by the planet’s charm.

    Virgo [8/24-9/23]: I’ve got an ex who is Virgo, and if that person is reading
    this, I hope she has a very happy birthday. The only reason I can publicly acknowledge
    her birthday now is because I could never remember it when we were dating —
    an attribute of being male, I guess. Virgo birthdays are in full swing and this
    actually a pretty good time for you guys and gals. I would be careful with driving
    the boats on the lake, I wouldn’t want any of you Virgo’s to drink too much and
    motor around at the lake because remember (this is important on a birthday week):
    alcohol and water don’t mix.

    Libra [9/24-10/23]: Well, the worst of it has just hit. I realize I should have
    prepared you better for the week, but it snuck up on me too: Mercury begins and
    ends it’s backwards spiral in Libra. And that little clown figure in the sky
    is doing his dead-level best to upset just about everything you touch, be that
    at home, at work, or at play. Don’t let the little gremlins get you down, my
    dear Libra friend because this is a fleeting influence and won’t be around very
    long. A little introspection, and perhaps a second look at what you were doing
    will help.

    Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Once again, there is a generally lighter attitude this
    week as many pejorative influence move away from you. The usual Mercury Retrograde
    stuff applies, but with all the nice things happening to Scorpio right now, this
    little Mercury thing will slide right off your back. Perhaps that’s not a good
    image to use because precious few Scorpio’s can leave a nice exposed back alone
    — they’re always putting the figurative knife in.

    Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: Talk about a quick mental tune up. Just as the planets
    are about to fall into evil disarray, there is a short burst of tremendously
    clear insight. That one moment when you can see where all the fish in the lake
    are, that one time when you know absolutely what the right bait. That one time
    when your brain works just like automatic fish finder and EVERYTHING is in focus.
    The problem being is that shortly after this clarity, you go back to being a
    clumsy Sagittarius.

    Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: The only thing I would fret about this week, if I were
    a Cappy, is money. You’ve got some great ideas, but nothing seems to be going
    your way just yet. Therein lies the problem, “Where in?” you ask. Right there.
    Mercury is going backwards so nothing is going to go your way for another couple
    of weeks. Of course, all of this will change next week, so stay tuned. The
    ‘making money’ problem is going away faster than that. In fact, by the end
    of the week,
    you should be back in fine shape, more or less.

    Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: Remember last January? It was long time ago, and it wasn’t
    a happy time. Best of the wishes for the new year, and nothing seemed to work
    out. Why bother you with a quick history lesson? Looks like there is something
    that you didn’t do last January which is back to haunt you like a bad penny.
    Some business deal, something at work, more than likely, although, if you had
    an affair, that would bounce up in your face right now, too. Just thought I’d
    warn you.

    Pisces [2/19-3/22]: This is setting up to be a thoroughly unpleasant Mercury
    Retrograde for you. That’s the bad news. The good news is even better because,
    the bad stuff doesn’t start until NEXT week, and the even better news is that
    this usual three week period will only effect you for two weeks. So there’s plenty
    of good news in there, just for my special Pisces friends, and you know who you
    are!

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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