Week of: December 16-22

Week of: December 16-22

Aries [3/23-4/20]: While everyone else is listening to Xmas music and Christmas Carols, you might want to dig out something with a little more backbone, and I’m not talking about any of this new fangled country rock stuff, either. Something with a definite beat, perhaps an order and structure to it all, like a Marching Band. With lots of drums. Or the Overture to 1812, or whatever that thing is called, you know, the one with the cannons in it. You have purpose, self determination, and even compassion this week. In fact, you’re week looks so good, I just wish I knew more Aries.

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: All of a sudden, you feel like getting up and going. In fact, this is what it’s going to take for you to get out of the house, get motivated and finally make it down to the mall for Xmas time. Tis week changes, midstream, as it were, from being a slow and lethargic week to being a week full of last minute shopping, quick trips to the all night grocery store to pick up a few things, and some last minute deadlines at work. Ever feel like a sports car commercial? That’s your pervasive sentiment this week.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Half birthdays are almost over with. A half birthday is when the Sun is opposite you in the sky, and that’s probably the way you have felt this week: no matter what you’ve tried, everyone is opposing you right now (see how this astrology stuff works?) With all these walls and problems, you’re not going to buy it when I suggest that you are at a remarkable turning point and this change has to do with your career. But you are, and it does. Consider that next step carefully because you have a chance to throw out some past mental furniture and start arranging the new stuff. Isn’t this just the best time of the year?

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: You might want to look up some the stuff in Shakespeare’s plays, the stuff from that quintessential Good Old Boy himself, Falstaff. What he had to say about labor, and his general attitude about work really supplies this week. In fact, his whole attitude is useful one to study at this time. To sum it all up: methinks that Falstaff was a redneck. And he had roots in the deep south

Leo [7/23-8/23]: This big old happy fire sign thing is lending you lots of useful energy, but Bubba, in the cosmic scope of life, anything which is lent to you has to be paid back. I would consider that thought as you go merrily along, making the most of these nice days, and wonderful winter nights. The days are shorter, yes, but the nights are longer and it’s a great time to find your special snuggle bunny to help keep your toes toasty.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: Ever watch a horse trainer work with an animal, especially a recalcitrant critter? Firm yet gentle and loving, all at the same time? Well, Bubba, that’s the way things are going this week for you. You are that very animal trainer and you have to admit that the critters at work have been a bit unruly as of late. You need to be firm, yet a the same time, give these guys some sugar because they have been good. Well, maybe not that good, but they do have great possibilities. You will that your angry outburst only serve to rile them up. Try a different approach and be assured of success.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: The sun is just moving into the Tropical Zodiac sign of Capricorn. This means it’s time for your three month update. Examine yourself, and pay extra special attention to your fishing buddies because you need to see a reflection of yourself in the friends that you keep. I would watch the self-restraint right now. Seems like you want to spend too much money on buying stuff for everyone. That’s not the idea of the season of giving. You need a little extra time to think about some of the things you want get for folks. Consideration is important here.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Okay, Scorpio, listen up: this is a good week to start by cleaning out your closets at home. The deal is this: with you secretive nature, you might find some extra gifts that are lurking in the back of the closet, something you bought and put away for this time of the year. Failure to clean out your closets will result in some spectacular but late Xmas gifts. This is a just a friendly reminder from your favorite astrologer, and yes, this does look like a good week.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: You get the royal treatment for a day or two, at the beginning of the week. That’s the good news. Then look for some exciting sexual escapades later in the week, like something really bold and daring, maybe doing something naughty in a place where you shouldn’t. And I hope you don’t take this too literally, either. Then as the approach of Yule is felt, you feel more relaxed.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: the week ends with he official start of Capricorn as we face the shortest day of the year. Everyone else complains about how dour a Cappy is, but I would point out to your detractors that the days start getting longer as soon as Capricorn starts. Just a little bit of astrological trivia for you, and some hope. You’ve got a most exciting week coming up because there are many surprises for you under the tree (or whatever your tradition dictates).

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: This is another good week for lots of happiness in the old family trailer house. I mean, going back to the trailer park, seeing Mom and Dad, and your extended family, all that is a good thing right now. You will feel like the old bond is is back. No, I don’t mean James Bond, I mean that old glue which held you all together for so long. The trip back to the trailer is momentous and looks like it will be a bag load of fun, if you just relax a little, take you shoes off and sit a spell.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: The deal is this — you start out the week with the best of intentions and plans to make sure that you don’t have any last minute shopping left to do. But, as usual, there will always a be a Bubba or two on the list who gets forgotten. Now, you can either use the good start you got at the beginning of the week to carry you forward, or, as the the day gets closer, you can freak out from the pressure. Just calm yourself with a little bit of egg nog, and let the other people worry about getting a present for Bubba. You can always order an astrology report from, for that last minute delivery…

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

Use of this site (you are here) is covered by all the terms as defined in the fineprint, and there might be, maybe, a material connection between the hot links and this site (sometimes). Reply via e-mail.

© 1993 – 2023 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c. astrofish.net: breaking horoscopes since 1993.

It’s simple, and free: subscribe here.