Week of: December 9-15

Week of: December 9-15

Aries [3/23-4/20]: There’s this one episode of “Three’s Company” where everything is fine until Mr. Roper and Jack have a MISUNDERSTANDING, and that little problem is a set up for the whole show. Isn’t it interesting how sitcoms resemble real life these days? Of course, I wouldn’t suggest that you Aries types take this too far, no, there is very little in your chart to suggest that your life would resemble some golden age television program. But you do want to get things wrapped up in short time, and you will probably feel like Jack in that one episode. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: You start out a moody week, sort of like a castaway on some deserted island. In fact, I’m thinking of a theme song from that show, something about being a cast away because you, my fine Taurus friend, is just like all those castaways right now. You’re sitting there, thinking about the upcoming holiday, and that long list of gifts you need to get, and then you think to yourself, “Self, why bother? It’s just TOO MUCH trouble top get out in the hectic holiday traffic and battle with these TOADS…..” Don’t despair this is immediate relief in sight. By this weekend, you will feel like your old appetite and zest for life has returned.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Do you ever feel like you life is starting to resemble a bad rerun of some late 60’s television show? Predictable conflict, predictable ending, predicable cigarette commercials? There are those who would suggest that there is a fine order to the Universe and that every event was preordained. Is it true? Heavy stuff to think about before Xmas when everyone else is out abusing credit cards. But it does give one pause to think. Grab a fishing pole because ruminating is important this week.

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: I’m not a lawyer nor do I play one on TV, and fortunately, this is a Texas. Near as a I can tell, what with all that you’ve got going on right now, I just thought I would offer a little bit of legal advice: second cousin is still legal in these parts. Consider the time with the family at the holidays as a chance to check out some of yore family for a potential date. All still legal in Texas, Arkansas and parts of Louisiana. Yeppers, that’s what you’ll be doing at the family Xmas party this week.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: The big day is approaching and by now, you should have just about every night of the week booked solid with social functions. The problem is that you don’t feel real assertive these days. Not that it’s too much of a problem, either, and you self discipline is also a little relaxed. Trying to corral yourself into work after a long night of holiday merrymaking is going to be a bit tough. Remember to do something nice for all of your buddies who you fish with.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: My dear Virgo. Sweet and DELICATE Virgo. Mars is still an influence on you right now. The good news is energy. The down side of this is that Mars rules sharp objects and you should definitely be extra careful when cleaning and gutting fish. Those long, sharp knives could slip and hurt you, if you are not careful. The other problem that is associated with this is cars. Mars and cars. Something about you wanting a new red truck for Xmas. Think twice when you’re sitting on Santa’s lap, and remember that this is choice you will have to live with for two years.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: This is just about the last of the stuff that I’ve got to say about relationships, family affairs, and that sort of thing. Soon enough, life hits a stable period which is long overdue. But for right now, that Xmas tree has a few packages under it just for you. Special things, and I’ll bet, as good as your intuition is right now, that you don’t even need to shake the package to know what is in it. Don’t ruin Xmas for the giver, though, keep those secrets to yourself.

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Venus and the Moon conspire to give you a boost in your energy and appreciation of all the good things in life. I would watch out for that holiday food,m though,as a some of the stuff which is so rich might just upset your delicate internal organs. Remember this simple rule: Sushi is a food group and shouldn’t be confused with live bait. sushi is found in a restaurant and live bait in a minnow bucket. Big difference. And lobsters, those things are nothing more than crawfish on steroids. It’s all good eating, but watch the rich foods.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: This is just about the last of Sagittarius birthdays, so be nice. In certain schools of astrology (question, is an Astrology School anything like a school of fish?), birthday weeks are considered to be hazardous. With that in mind, and the fact that your luck runs along the lines of “get rich quick schemes,” I would exercise caution when involved in travel. Doesn’t mean don’t do it, just be careful. Keep yourself on your toes, and on the lookout for cartoonish freak accidents, like safes dropping out of the sky to go “kerplunk” on your head. You might feel like the Road Runner this week.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: You will find this is another one of “those” weeks. There is just entirely too much to do, and there is entirely too little time to do it. The number of astrological influences on you are great, from the Little One (Mercury) to the Lucky Star (Jupiter) to the Giant Mystery (Neptune) you are going to be feeling it, one way or another, this week. Your ability to have dreams and fantasies about world peace is high this week. You’re ability to earn extra income is also high, but probably tempered by unrealistic dreams. And with Mercury in there stirring it all up, I’ll bet you can’t shut up. At this time of the year, as we all get ready for the holidays, a little discretion on your part would certainly help go a long way. Remember, you’ve got a birthday coming up soon….

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: Look, my fine Aquarius friend, your sign is never associated with being the sign of the red hot lover. It’s not that you aren’t, or anything, it’s just not a common position for an Aquarius. Now, the deal is this, like Leo, and Scorpio, you have a strong stellar influence from the social activity sector of the sky. And you have a strong ability to sway others about you, too. In fact, you can do just about anything you want this week. The one caution in all this: don’t get involved in too many affairs of the heart at once. It could backfire, like an old truck with mechanical flatulence.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: Your week coming up reminds me of an old “Scooby Doo” episode. It was the one where Scooby saw the ghost first (which turned out to be old Mr. Something Or Other), and it wasn’t until later that they were able to uncover the whole thing. Anyway, if you know any Scooby links on the web, send them to “BenBubba@aol.com” and he’ll decide if they are good, and then, he’ll send me your name and birthday, and you’ll get a free “El Basico” chart report from me. So go and find those Scooby links, and try to remember which episode I was talking about.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

Use of this site (you are here) is covered by all the terms as defined in the fineprint, and there might be, maybe, a material connection between the hot links and this site (sometimes).

© 1993 – 2021 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.