Week of: December 30 – January 5

Week of: December 30 – January 5
There’s this strange club in Abilene (Texas) that starts the first of the year out by water skiing. Even in freezing temperatures, this group gather on Jan. 1, every year, to bring in the New Year with quite a splash. Know of any other good traditions like WATER SKIING IN THE DEAD OF WINTER? Let Mr. Editor-Dude know at BenBubba@aol.com.

Aries [3/23-4/20]: Rendezvous with destiny. Actually, that should be Destiny with a “D”. It’s the fated time, the karmic time, and all that other folderol. You’ve got a busy, busy year ahead for you, and I reckon that’s the good news, and if I had any more good news for you, I would tell you. I’d be a little more careful than usual on the big night because what you want to do and what every one else wants to do might not line up. Fireworks are okay for the big night, but guns are not a hot idea. You don’t want to celebrate the New Year downtown in a county facility, do you?

Taurus [4/21-5/22]: With the start of the New Year, I just have one little pesky question: “Do you REALLY, REALLY believe in what you are doing?” It’s not just me asking this question — this becomes a central theme from a lot of folk around you. And with the New Year and its fresh start craze, lots of them folks are going to be asking you this very question. Or one just like it. If the answer is “Yes, Mr. FGS Astrology guy,” then I wouldn’t worry about anyone at all dissuading you from your chosen date with Destiny. But if you have questions, I might just warn you to look out as friends and family keep charging at Tao with their inane questions.

Gemini [5/23-6/21]: Oh no, it’s the “party too much” syndrome this week. As a good Gemini, you want to be everywhere for everybody. All the parties. You want to get out and do it all. The problem is that there just isn’t enough time to get it all done. Knowing that you will be faced with certain limitations this week ought to help you, though, because you will now understand the basic concept that it’s a lot harder to get off the bull than getting on….

Cancer [6/22-7/22]: you got two big things to watch out for this week. One them is making a fool of yourself New Years’ Eve. It would be one of the best times to get really stupid drunk, a darkly comic thing itself, and do something really entertaining like get a haircut to match what most of the kids are doing these days. The problem with that is called waking up and looking in the mirror (and realizing you’ve got an ugly haircut to start the new year at work). The other thing, and this pains me, but don’t follow any soothsayers advice on investments, and I know how tempting that new boat is right now.

Leo [7/23-8/23]: Be happy because it’s a another holiday p[arty time. I would just caution you about too much irresponsible behavior this week. It’s a lazy time for you, but as the New Year wears on, you will find that there are some domestic changes which need to be made. New shag carpet (burnt orange is a color suggestion) would be good. There will be some last minute changes as far as your plans for the big party night goes, too, so be advised that I would think twice about what you’re planning to do. Be a little more receptive to some last minute changes, like water skiing to bring in the new year.

Virgo [8/24-9/23]: The good news is that as soon as the new year kicks off, you’re set to come out of the chute just like a bull who has been goosed with a high voltage electronic cattle prod. By the time the week is unfolding, you are off and running with all sorts of new ideas about how to make money and effect some extremely cool changes at work. Fashion tip this week: get a new haircut to show that you are ready for the new year. Maybe a new uniform for work, too.

Libra [9/24-10/23]: Say “Hello” to mars this week, and he brings a double dose of high energy as the year begins to unfold. You will find that you feel activated, and this will be mirrored with lots of coming and going type of activity. When the first weekend of the new year gets here, get prepared for the upcoming fishing season. If you haven’t spruced up the old boat, now is the time to tend to all the little details which need attending to…

Scorpio [10/24-11/23]: Fresh romance in your life? Did you start something new on New Year’s Eve by looking someone special in the eye (with that Scorpio piercing gaze) and ignite a flame? Or fire up the old flame? In either case, your love life is off to good start on the new year, and partnerships of all kinds are favored this week. Or they will be. I mean, it’s a good time to start fishing for a new fishing partner, forming an alliance to to win more bass tournaments this year. You can do it.

Sagittarius [11/24-12/21]: I really hate to rely on the hackneyed expressions of foreign travel, but that’s been good this time, and it only looks better and better. I would lay low, though for the big night, and do your dead level best to stay out of trouble. As the this weeks starts to unfold, you need to turn your undivided attention to making money. In a big way. Lots of money. Concentrate hard. Get the idea machine flowing, put in the thinking cap, map a strategy to to take over the world. The first weekend of the new year is a great time for you to plan and scheme and connive.

Capricorn [12/22-1/20]: You’ve got Mercury Retrograde on your happy self right now, and that means, for those of you born in January, that the year is going to be full of untimely surprises. An untimely surprise is something that shows up when you really don’t want it to, like catching a turtle when there is a game warden following you closely. although Sea Turtle makes an ideal boat, the poor turtles need their home just as much you do. Don’t pick on endangered species this week.

Aquarius [1/21-2/18]: you’ve never been known for living high on the idea of domestic bliss, whatever that is, and this is a good week for a certain amount of “adjustment” at home. Or on the home front. Or in the trailer. Whatever you want to call it. The old relationship thing is heating up again, and that’s going to bring you certain amount of joy in your life, kind of like catching the biggest fish instead of telling “the biggest fish that got away” stories. You don’t have to rely on the fishing guide’s great universal law: “You should’ve been here yesterday.” Nope, not this week.

Pisces [2/19-3/22]: The “less than blissful” relationship thing that has been going on, and probably interfered with some of your holiday merry making has taken a turn for the better. Now, the way I see them stars, it could either be a new boat, a new fishing partner, or just a new battery for the trolling motor, but I’ll say the odds are pretty good that it will be one of those three, and that the new item will certainly be a much better replacement part for the one that’s gone away. Happy now?

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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