Week of: February 10-16

“But, O malignant and ill-boding stars!”

Talbot in Shakespeare’s “King Henry the Sixth, part uno” (Avt IV, scene v)

Thing of the week: Retrograde Mars trines Jupiter, Uranus.

Aries : You’re looking at what some astrologers call a “kite,” and my message to you, at this time, is not to kite any checks. You might be sorely tempted into a plan which really resembles a scheme or a scam, but I would exercise a lot of caution this coming week, especially with financial questions and even more importantly, where big money is concerned. What’s big money to you? Depends. Around FGS World Headquarters, “big money” is the price of a burger, shake and large fries.

Taurus : Maybe it was wedding proposals last week, but it’s divorce court this week, and the arguments are hot and heavy: who gets the (trailer) house, and who gets the matched linen set carefully lifted from the motel during the honeymoon? And this is such a sudden decision to head towards splitsville, too. I would chill out because the energy that’s driving you two apart right now will be driving you two back together in a little while, just not this week.

Gemini : The bad news is that your car will break down this week. Okay, so maybe not your car, perhaps that outboard motor on the boat will finally sing its last song. Maybe the refrigerator will lose its cool. Who knows? Bet you got something like this which really disturbs your inner peace this week. That could be a problem, I also thing that you are in position right now where your inner peace is so strong that even a relatively major disaster won’t upset you too much. So there!

Cancer : There are three main influences in your poor Cancerian life this week: 1] you are trying to think and analyze too much (leave that for the Virgo’s), 2] some scam artist is coming along with a great deal which really isn’t too great, and 3] your emotions run flamingly amuck at the end of the week. In fact, you stay pretty much on edge throughout the whole week. It’s like being caught with a fishing partner who has every conceivable bad habit, little things that he or she does which just drive you absolutely around the bend. Like popping gum, or chewing tobacco. Or chewing gum and spitting tobacco at the same time.

Leo : This is the the time when you are going to feel like shaking the “ties that bind” loose. In fact, you’ve got certain dormant energies which need to be released. Go for it. This is the time to let go and move on. The best example of this would be the trailer house that your living in. Certainly a definition of happiness is double-wide, and I’ll bet now, more than ever, you are looking for that new double-wide. Choose carefully! Any real estate person will tell you that location is everything, and with Mars in retrograde, you might not want to move right now.

Virgo : The deal is that you are ready for a change. The problem is that you ain’t found the balance point you are looking for. It’s like this: you want to use some new bait, experiment with some topwater plugs, maybe get out of the habit of using the plastic worms. The problem? The old ways DO work right now, and the old bait seems to be reeling them as fast as you can toss your line out. I’d be extra carefully about drastic changes right now. Of course, like a typical Virgo, you always are extra careful.

Libra : The Mars Retrograde is going to be effecting you for quite some time.. That’s the bad news. In fact, I would expect some mechanical failures around you at a time like this. That’s the downside. the good news is that that all the unusual energy kicking around in other air signs right should make the these changes a lot more palatable for you. And taste can mean a lot to a Libra. Remember: do it in a fine style, if nothing else.

Scorpio : Poor, downtrodden Scorpio. Some of you guys think that I persecute this sign for no reason whatsoever. It’s just not true! I’m merely trying to warn you about some of the changes that are coming up. And with one of your rulers doing a nearby backspin, you find that the best laid plans all seem to fall apart. As does the trolling motor. Best bet: double check the electric battery before going to the lake for the weekend. And if you like Ice Fishing, then really be careful about the cold weather.

Sagittarius : Ever thought about changing your career? I mean, in a big way. Forsake the coat and tie and get into a position that you would really like, something along the lines of wilderness guide? Or, better yet, guiding fishing trips in the Gulf? More than ever, these longings are going to be tugging at your soul. The problem is it ain’t a good time to launch just such an endeavor, not quite yet. But, start laying the groundwork, because your day is coming so.

Capricorn : Make more money. While everyone else is really under this great impetus to change, you don’t need to worry about a thing. Right now, you feel like you are in control of the work scene. It’s about time, too. I would just warn you about watching your driving because you will have a tendency to dream about money scams when you should be paying attention to some matters a little closer at hand. Like the cars in front of you.

Aquarius : It doesn’t happen too often: Uranus and Jupiter doing the “in your face” tango. And this little cosmic dance brings a lot of good energy to you. That’s the good news. Now, please be careful because you are real likely to get a stray hook in your flesh right now. Be careful handling pointed objects.

Pisces : Everybody else is having on tough week. In fact, you ill feel like the rest of the signs have all gone a little nuts. It’s not just you, and, in fact, you are right: they have all gone insane. The question is: what are you going to do about it? I would advise you to take your time, plan carefully, and then be ready to revise your plans before moving ahead. In fact, it’s time for a little “recon” mission. Get out the “fish finder” and use it on the boat–it will improve your already good luck.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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