2.3.1997

Week of: February 3 – 9

“Adieu; be happy!”

    Caesar in Shakespeare’s Antony and Cleopatra (Act III, scene ii)

Aspect of the week: Mars, retrograde in Libra, opposite, nasty old Saturn in Aries. Fire and air, it’s a hot combination. Saturn and Mars, it’s like a flat tire on the way to work. In rush hour traffic, no less.

Aries : Tough week for you tough guys. The deal is this: negative energy doesn’t affect you like it does other folks. While the other signs are reeling, whining and deeply complaining about the current state of affairs, you are just marching along like a good soldier. Once again, it’s back to that magic word: work. Concentrate on it. Do it to the exclusion of all other things in life. Make it your driving goal… and speaking of driving, watch that this week. No need for senseless roadside entertainment provided by you and your insurance company.

Taurus : It’s really too bad that more Taurus folks don’t like me. I would be warning this week about wedding proposals because there seems to be a lot of them this week. Or maybe it’s just one proposal, but it’s the one you really want to think about. In any case, this wedding stuff might be a little metaphorical, but romance figures very high this week. The problem is that your normally exquisite fine taste is hampered and your judgment may be a little off–be overly cautious about mate selection this week, even second cousins ain’t that good of an idea.

Gemini : You’re in the middle of a weird week. Try it like this: starts out ugly, gets good, then turns to mud again. Just be aware that you’ve got this interesting little cycle this week. And, being a Gemini, it doesn’t matter too much because you can always do something about it — change. This is one of those weeks when it helps to be as adaptable as you already are.

Cancer : This is a most unusual time for you. In fact, if I were to predict that you were going to inherit any money, this would be the the time for that too happen. Of course, there are certain fatal flaws with inheriting money, and I don’t see that happening. maybe it’s just a good week to play the lottery. Since you haven’t had any lotto luck in while, maybe you could just walk into the convenience store and throw some money on the ground.

Leo : The big doings in the other fire signs mean that there is nothing but wide open spaces for you. Expand the business, get a new boat, go for the second mortgage on the trailer house, do whatever it is that you want to do. Now is the time. Problems? There aren’t any! Leo, you guys have it made in the shade this week! Well, there is one, little hitch: the boss is not going to be responding properly, but hey, that’s his or hers fault, not yours.

Virgo : If I were you, I would get ready for the “Mars backing into your sign” thing which is fast approaching. Mars is sometimes the Roman God of War, and sometimes, it just rules cars. In either case, though, you are going to feel like someone is backing an 18-Wheeler across your feet. I wouldn’t be too concerned: You really didn’t need those toes anyway. On other fronts, there is an unusual amount of mental energy to go with this lack of physical energy. Do something useful, take a nap.

Libra : Mars has been holding forth in your sign for a while now, and his apparent motion is officially retrograde as of this week. Deal with it. Cars will conk out for no known reason, social interaction will develop lots of problems. Your family might feel like they are all turning on you. It’s an ugly sight. The best thing to do is nothing. Now, I can’t recommend that you crawl under the bed for a week or two, but, you know, that’s not such a bad idea these days.

Scorpio : You’ve listened while I’ve told you about retrogrades. The main question is: did you pay attention? Mars goes into reverse this week. While that’s no big deal to most signs, this will effect you, and the little red planet pulls its turn around trick while making some strong energy with Pluto. Look: Mars and Pluto are your rulers, or, they rule Scorpio because no one rules a Scorpio person. This planetary action will have a two-fold effect on you: Fish or Cut Bait. Just do one. No action doesn’t cut the mustard.

Sagittarius : Let’s talk about duty and honor and glory, and the fact that the South will rise again, Texas will secede from the the rest of the states, and you’re going to get that new job which means nothing but an end to this long, dry spell you’ve just had. Maybe it doesn’t mean an end to the drought in a literal sense, but it does look like you’ve got a number of openings which are coming your way this week. The bad news about all this? These are JOB openings. Work. That evil word. Look at it this way: you could use the money.

Capricorn : You’re moving from a certain kind of frenetic energy to a more relaxed version of deeper, more profound insight as Mercury leaves your sign this week. That’s good news, too, because your focus has been a little out of whack. There is a degree of clarity which will be coming in this week, something which you’ve needed for a while. In other words, you can actually see what the problem is, and you can fix it. This week.

Aquarius : One of the problems with my little “Fish O Rama Astrology” computer screen is a that I can’t fit everything that is happening to my good buddy Aquarius on to the screen. There’s the Sun, Uranus, Jupiter, and a veritable plethora of smaller orbit objects which would include Venus and the Moon. Major big deal this week. You will find that your fashion statement this week will be a direct indication of what is going on inside you. And you will be flipping your baseball hat around, front to back, so many times that you are really unsure about what is happening. Shooting fish in a barrel has never been more fun!

Pisces : Ya’ll need to quit your whining these days. With the stars stacked up like they are, things just couldn’t get a whole lot better. You are poised on the edge of a great abyss, the voice of Kirk is ringing in your head: “To boldly go where no man has gone before.” It’s adventure time for Pisces, and you are going to enjoy a cult like status just like a cheesy TV show left over from the late 60’s — complete with tacky special effects.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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