3.3.1997

Week of: March 3-9

These are stars indeed;
And sometimes falling ones.

The Seond Gentleman from Shakespeare’s Henry VIII (act IV, scen i)

Aries : You have a special treat this week, a special emotionally charged, almost new moon playing a close game of catch with great cause of work in your life, Saturn. I would look for an upturn in some events at work, in fact, I would expect Monday morning, a traditional day of morning, to be filled with lots of activity, in fact, much more activity than usual. I don’t want to scare you about the amount work involved, but remember that a herd of a thousand cows began with a single bull. That’s you this week.

Taurus : There is a strong little relationship thing going on in your personal sky. The problem is that the idea of romance is far more attractive than the actual romance itself. This creates some trouble. In other words, while dating a second cousin might be legal, her/his husband/wife takes sort of a dim view of sharing. That’s a problem. Like I said, the idea of the romance looks and feels like it could and should work, it’s just the picky little nuts and bolts that usually hold a romance together that are getting all rusted with some planets in water signs.

Gemini : Remember when we discussed anger reduction techniques for Gemini? No? I hope that doesn’t make you mad. The best thing to do is run about five or ten miles, but given the shape you’re in right now, that might not work. Maybe some basketball? Ever try contact basketball? Might be worth it. You will certainly feel like SOME ONE is making you jump through hoops at work, and I wouldn’t buy into that mess. A little bit of solitude would do you well for the weekend. Solitude in Gemini terms means three or fewer people.

Cancer : The problem with young love, or old love as the case may be, is that every once in a while we get to looking at our lover and wondering, “what am I doing here?” You will find that you asking the same questions over and over as you examine your new love. Is that person everything you expected? Are there some problems? does he or she want you to make some fundamental changes in your life? And can you live without having that trophey-sized bass on your living room wall? Think about it, and get back to me.

Leo : This week, dear Leo, we study the bell shaped curve–you start the week with an emotionally charged high point, it degrades into a screaming match and then you go back up the other side of the curve to a high point. This is a good thing. In fact, there will be an extra kick at the end of the week from some sort of business/financial partner which just makes the whole problematic week seem ever so much better. Leo’s are always right, so I’m not too worried about your hump day slump. Maybe just call it “slump day.”

Virgo : I always like the intro to Henry V: “Now for a Muse of fire….” (Prologue, line 1)… all the little dots mean that thee is a lot going on after those simple words. Mars is doing a number on your sign, now transiting backwards onto YOU. What this means is that your physical health is in jeopardy. Not in a bad way, just words of caution that Virgo’s need to be extra careful this week. The other thing to watch out for is added stress in the marketplace. Average daily transactions need a little extra scrutiny–fortunately, this is something you’re good at….

Libra : I’ve been going on and on about Mars for the past few weeks, and the negative effect of the backwards planet on your sign. Now for the good news–Mars goes traipsing into Virgo so it’s no longer a concern for you. Watch as car problems mysteriously clear up this week, computers start to run the way they are supposed, and significant others become less grouchy. If only your siblings were similarly effected, life would be just great. If you’ve overextend yourself physically, now is a time to see the massage therapist for a little relief.

Scorpio : As fate would have it, this week you’ve got the beginning of another one of those unusual cycles wherein you get a chance to right some past indiscretions. The only reason I would remind you about this is because it would really help you in the future, not the immediate future, but in a few months, if you were to take a hard look at your own history. Remember borrowing that lure and never returning it? It’s been in your tackle box for a long time now, and the owner would definitely appreciate the gesture if you were to return it now.

Sagittarius : It’s not a good thing to come between a Sag and his or her food, but I would take this week to momentarily suggest that you Archer types out there watch your eating habits this week, especially as the week opens. I don’t want to sound like anal, but perhaps there’s a little too much fat in your diet, and maybe you should do something about that. Don’t worry too much about this because most Archer’s are “healthy as a horse.”

Capricorn : I have liked being the foreteller of doom, especially for the happy Cappy crowd, but this week looks like it is the the end of the line for the new boat. You will have had just about all the trouble you can take from that new outboard motor, and I’ll bet, by the time the weekend gets here, you just drop the old outboard motor overboard, right where it quits, and you wind up using your tolling motor to get you back to shore. Either that, or you might have to row your boat.

Aquarius : It’s time a for a little astronomy lesson–Uranus goes around the Sun every 84 years and Jupiter every 12 years, so this is the beginning of a wonderful new growth cycle for you. The only difficulty this week (these two big guys are ganged up on you) is that you can’t seem to find a direction. You’ll feel a lot like Gemini because you’ll wish you could just clone yourself, and send some of the clones off to do all the things you want to do. Modern Science isn’t that modern yet, so you’ll have to wait. Better yet, just pick one direction and watch yourself really go.

Pisces : What an exciting week to be having a birthday, what with all the nice stuff lined up for you–Venus and Mercury all cozy in there, next to that beneficial Pisces Sun. What’s it mean? The next year bodes well for Pisces Birthday boy and girls because the stars say that romance and an ability to talk about that romance are both set for the next year. The tone for the next year should be “talk show romance.”

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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