Week of: February 24 -March 2

"Whose phrase of sorrow
Conjures the wandering stars, and makes them stand
Like wonder-wounded hearers?"

Hamlet hisself in Shakespeare's Hamlet (act V, scene i)

Aries : Look here, dear Aries, I've been warning you about confrontations, raging ego, your-will versus the universe sort of thing, now, it comes to triumphant victory this week or it all comes crashing down around your ears. What will it be? How carefully did you prepare for this week's examination? The other influence this week is heady sense of destiny, and I';m glad your an Aries because I don't have to remind you to keep your feet on the ground even though you've got all these high fallutin' ideas kickin' around in your head.

Taurus : Does the word "eviscerate" mean anything to you? Or, better yet, does it describe what your feeling this week? It could. Just remember that you are not really going to be stuffed and mounted on on the wall like a trophy fish, or have your head cut off, like a prize buck. You may feel like this this week, though. If you can just get out of the way, and don't take any obvious bait, you'll be okay.

Gemini : Have talked about your exercise regimen yet? I don't want to sound like a nag, but this is a good time to consider getting a new fitness program working. It will help you reel in the big fish which are certainly coming your way. In fact, you have the ability to land a few trophy catches coming up so the best thing to do is get into shape. While other astrologers might recommend Yoga or Tai-Chi, I would suggest pumping iron. Join the fitness center, maybe a gym.

Cancer : You have a great mind. Too often, though, you ignore this great mind and lose track of the obvious. I would suggest that this is a good week to cut to the heart of the matter, look at some work-related situations and DEAL with it. This much easier said than done, though, and therein is your challenge for the week. You do realize that your work is a big issue for you this week, and you need to employ every bit of your brain power to get you through.

Leo : There are some good vitamins to take when you are stressed and feeling run down. I don't even think that run down is the correct choice of words. Bet you feel like you've been run over this week. Sorry about that impression. Now, start eating the right food, maybe include a little less carcinogenic beef in your diet, try to work in some vegetables and greens, and you'll be feeling much better. And fish--it's a brain food, try some of that too. Consider this: Sushi, it's not just a bait.

Virgo : I get mail from lots and lots of people. But I never get any mail from Virgo's. I wonder why this is? Is it because I pick on you guys for being too neat and clean, for being too Virgo like with all your refined qualities? Is it because you can be so difficult to get along with? Did you not like the last round of transits? Or, have you fallen madly, passionately in love with a "tall dark stranger" this week? Didn't I warn you about the stranger types, some of whom are stranger than most?

Libra : Time to consider where you are in life, what is going on, and where you want to be, say, five years from now. Look at it like a five year plan,. which, of course, goes against everything that is near and dear to our political heart in America where we all work on the four year plan. So this is the case, you are feeling a bit put out, almost as if the weight of the entire world is on your shoulders. The good news is that, with your normal Libra calmness and maturity, you can see the other side. And you know, in your heart, that the events will change and stem the tide of apparent problems. Perhaps it won't be this week, but there is hope.

Scorpio : I am often accused of picking on Scorpio. Even my own mother makes this statements. Nothing could be further from the truth, either, just because Scorpio's are always mean and vindicative, doesn't mean that I pick on you guys, that would be inviting disaster. Besides, as the week unfolds, you Scorpio's have a chance to be a little more open, a little less reticent, and you make such nice partners this week, it makes me feel absolutely grieved that I ever said a bad word about this sign. So you're having a good week. Live bait works best this week.

Sagittarius : The dark side of you is clawing to get out, just a like an action figure in a bad horror film. This character, an integral component of your soul, is desperately seek some outlet. The best thing to do is head out in the country, take some old tin cans, and set up a target range some place far away from civilization. A little target practice, blasting a few things with a high-powered deer rifle, maybe running a few rounds through the pistol you keep in the glove box of the truck, anything that is moderately violent brings a deep sense of satisfaction. Now you can go back to being your happy, helpful self.

Capricorn : Romance is in your air. Call up your old high school sweetheart and ask her/him out. I know you're married now, and so is she/he. Doesn't matter. Just run on around to the coffee shop and have a cup of joe. Catch up on old times. Say things like, "We ought to get together again sometime," and then, when it's over, never call back. You will have done your bit. Besides, old high school flames look more like charcoal these days.

Aquarius : I've been struggling a lot with Aquarius for this week. First off, you guys make it a point to be unpredictable. Then, with all the planets, big and small, lined up in Aquarius, you are REALLY unpredictable this week. Whatever this new course of action is, the one you've been thinking about but haven't told anyone about yet, whatever your goal is, then just go for it. It will work out okay. You might feel like one of those e little rubber boats you see out at the lake, you know the type of boat which really doesn't have too much of a direction. Your sense of focus returns, and that little boat develops a rudder.

Pisces : It may not actually be spring time, but it feels like it here in the sign of the fishes. It feels like it's spring and that love is in the air (who said that?). I would encourage as many romantic interludes as humanly possible. That means every where, and with everyone, and take all offers because there is a lot going on--much of it can be good, too.

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Kramer Wetzel


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