5.12.1997

Week of: May 12 – 18

“Yet cease your ire, you angry stars of heaven!”

Pericles in Shakespeare’s Pericles (Act II, scene i)

Aries : Life is definitely on the upswing again. and although Saturn’s influence might affect some of your apparent upward mobility, old Saturn himself won’t really affect this in a bad way. Nope, Saturn ought to wind up giving you an added boost. It’s just that, this week, you feel like there has been a certain feeling much like watching the air go out of tire. And yes, you are going to feel a little flat this week. But just like that tire, you’ll only feel flat on one side.

Taurus : Look for a wild ride for the Birthday Taurus folks, and for the others, look for a strong influence from Mercury. Now, I realize it was just last week, maybe the week before, that I was lecturing you about the deleterious effect of Mercury. Now I’m telling you how kind this little harbinger is going to be. What gives? It’s time to put everything back together that the little planet pulled apart during the apparent retrograde action. Does that makes sense? Unlike some things in life, though, this reassembly process will be much easier.

Gemini : Last shot at some romance, right now. I mean, if I were a Gemini, I would be running around proposing marriage to just about anybody and anything right this week. Such behavior is bound to turn up a few people who are as interested in you as you are. The romance effect of the feminist asteroid Juno is a documented fact around here at FGS World Headquarters. And Juno is “just fixin’ to” get conjoined with that “ole love planet” Venus, and now that Mercury is not direct, looks like your ready for some action. Being that your a Gemini, I would see a jeweler and get a bulk deal on little gold bands.

Cancer : I’ve been accused of picking on Cancers before, and I will patently deny that. And this is the first week that there is nothing tremendously untoward in the heavens pointing its finger at you. The only thing to watch out for is the “all you can eat” fried catfish buffet. This is one of those weeks when your physical appetite and your ability to burn calories just don’t match. If you start gaining weight, don’t blame me. I tried to warn you.

Leo : You’ll find that this week is going to be marked by problems left lingering from an errant Mercury, bits and piece of communication which have broken down and need to be repaired. The big question mark, besides the obvious “why me?” for this week is what can you do to help forge a new alliance in the work place to help overcome some of these communication problems.

Virgo : You’ll find that you have enjoyed a certain amount of an “artist’s creative rush” of ideas in the last few weeks, but due to one misbehaving planet, you haven’t been able to get any of this down on paper, or, depending on the medium that you choose, you haven’t been able to get any of the ideas across to the general public, your employers, or even just you mate. The good news is that planets are lining up to make this a much happier time for you so get after that one special project now.

Libra : The darkness which was spread by Mercury is suddenly turned into light. Unfortunately, you don’t get to see the proverbial “light at the end of the tunnel” until a little later in the week. Monday still feels like a Monday, but by the time the weekend gets within site, you will find that your spirits are suddenly, almost magically, lifted.

Scorpio : You are face to face with all sorts of UNUSUAL energy this week as romance temporarily fills your world with bliss. That’s the good news. The problem with becoming all-consumed with romance is that there are other areas of your life which could use a little attention right now. There is some trip coming up, sorry but it looks like a business trip, which could certainly use some attention because the previous plans now have to be modified.

Sagittarius : The good news is that you are entering into a lucky streak. The bad news is that this lucky streak probably won’t involve lottery money. In fact, despite the apparent look of success, I would try to stay away from games of chance right now. That’s not the kind of luck I was talking about, it was more a fate is on your side kind of luck wherein you get a late start on Saturday to to the bass tournament but wind up reeling in the best catch of the day because you just happen to be in the right fishing hole, the place passed over by so many others, and I told you that you would have good luck this week, albeit a little strange.

Capricorn : The really nice feature about Cappy’s is the way ya’ll thrive under pressure. And this is a good thing, too, because this week is filled lots of pressure, kind of like a high front which settles over an area and keeps the rain out, turning your own home county into a miniature pressure cooker. Bet that’s just how you feel already, and the summer isn’t even all here yet. Just wait a bit and then things really heat up. But this week is a bit of a chance to see what the summer heatwave is all about.

Aquarius : This week is brought to you by Sagittarius because the old Sag ruler, Jupiter, is really making its presence felt in your sign. You’ll find that you have a lot of that Sag type energy, unfortunately, unless you really are a Sag, you won’t know what to do with some of the clumsy stuff that accompanies most Sagittarius types around. Jupiter is certainly pushing on you to expand; I just hope it isn’t your waistline that is expanding.

Pisces : Last week was hard drive cleaning time. This week? How about looking at your tackle box? Whatever it is that use in life for work and play, there is a dark corner, a deep recess of your mind where you hear this little voice (it’s your own voice) telling you that “it’s time to clean up some of this mess.” Best bet for this week is live bait and cleaning out the old minnow bucket before the weekend gets here.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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