5.5.1997

Week of: May 5 -11

“My stars shine darkly over me; the malignancy/of my fate might, perhaps, distemper yours; therefore I shall crave of you/your leave that I may bear my evils alone.”

Sebastion in Shakespeare’s 12th Night (Act II, scene i)

Aries : Well, Bubba, for the next week your principle influences will be a certain lack of motivation, kind of like some one came along and left you a little present on your front doorstep, of the rude [flaming] variety. The trick is to put the fire out without getting anything on yourself. If you grew up in a small town in Texas, you would certainly understand this allusion. If not, then just beware of folks who *seem* to be bringing you gifts.

Taurus : There is some good news on yonder horizon: the pressure from the relationship “issue” is going to ease up this week. After all the trouble you’ve been through lately, that’s a nice note. And it’s a birthday time, too, so look for unexpected surprise parties this week, denoting your birthday. I would be extremely wary of dark areas, myself, given that the fact that people like to jump out of closets and generally act foolish on such an occasion.

Gemini : That old Mercury guy will no longer be retrograde by the end of the week. See my note about about Mercury RX for more information. The deal is this: despite no more backwards actions, this has been a tough time, and the pieces ain’t fallen into place yet. It’s a good week to think about cleaning your your tackle box out, straightening up your old lures — Venus is coming round the bend soon, and you know what the old love planet herself is going to bring to you….

Cancer : The week starts out rough, but it gets better. Sure it does. Long about Saturday, the week feels a lot better. What that means is you will probably leave (late, no doubt) for a fishing trip on Friday night. That means it won’t be until either late Saturday or early Sunday morning that you will feel the fishing starting to bite, and then, all of a sudden like, the fish start jumping into your boat. To be so lucky!

Leo : No that there is no more retrograde action in a fire sign, you can get on back to the important things in life. Once again, life is going to be good, at least, in respect to what you do for fun. Work, on the other hand, is still problematical this week. Nothing I can do will make that any better. There are the remaining vestiges of that ole Merc RX thing still lingering. For you, at least, it wasn’t as bad as it was for some others. You should see the email I got about this one!

Virgo : According to certain Eastern philosophies, life is represented by a giant wheel, and this wheel keeps on turning. I realize that you want life to be like Boethius’ Wheel of Fortune, but to me, this week looks more like the TV version of the Wheel of Fortune. Same kind of deal, at least, it looks like the dame kind of deal: a big wheel, lots of numbers, and one bad place on it. On the TV version, you lose a turn. That’s sort of what this week feels like, you lose a chance to play a round.

Libra : Well, we’re just not ,moving ahead this week, are we? Looks like there is nothing but trouble on all fronts right now. Just as much as you feel like the walls are closing in, though, you will find that the latter half of the week begins to being some much needed relief. Sort of like an 11th hour reprieve, all though I’m not to sure that a death row analogy would work to well. I mean, it fits the situation, I’m just not sure it won’t bother your delicate sensibilities.

Scorpio : With this tremendously difficult Mercury RX no longer applicable to you Scorpio types, you are probably coming out from underneath a nice big rock, and you’re asking yourself, “Self, is it really safe to be in the daylight again?” Probably not. I would give this whole thing a few extra days to blow over and settle down. In fact, I would try to give it a whole week, but I don’t know if you’ve got that kind of time.

Sagittarius : The one constant that you can bet on this week is change. And, being a gambling person (the luck of the Archer is legendary), you will find yourself face to face with a few gambles. The latter part of the week is better for such ventures, and I would avoid lottery tickets, slot machines, and friendly card games which turn into high stakes shouting matches because everyone is upset with your run of luck.

Capricorn : It’s a difficult time to undertake new projects, but I’m sure that you will work with this energy and try you get off on the right foot. In an effort to be helpful, let me suggest you try it differently this time, like maybe putting your left forward first. If you can just launch yourself correctly, and not leave your truck and boat trailer behind at the boat ramp, you can get off to a great start right now. The energy is there for you to succeed but you have to be willing to move forward.

Aquarius : You guys are the most irrational characters right now. In part, you are reacting to the pejorative influence of a minor thing like a Mercury Retrograde situation, sort of like sitting in a boat and watching all the other people reel in fish, and wondering, since I keep talking about good luck, you just wonder “Where’s mine?” One word might help this week, one simple word: Powerbait. Try some of this stuff, it’s like an MBA on a hook.

Pisces : By now, your homestead should be thoroughly clean. Ever thought about cleaning up the computer desktop? I don’t mean the desk your computer sits on, I mean that little bit of virtual reality that exists someplace between the modem and the screen. It would be a good week to getting around to cleaning out the system, looking at the various drives you got hanging off your computer and making the whole package a little bit neater. Call it virtual housecleaning.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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