Week of: June 2-8
“what, no attendance? No regard? No duty?”

in Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew (IV.i.113)

Aries : I’ve been singing a tune about work and stuff related to work for a while now. And you’re about as sick of those works stuff as I am. The good news this week is a that one of those e “darned feminist asteroids” (Vesta) is making the sign of the Ram a little bit more “in touch” with your feminine side. And it brings a little relief from this work-ethic thing, too, and I’m sure you’ll agree with me, that work is a highly overrated experience.

Taurus : The new moon, a little later this week, brings a certain degree of flair o your homestead. Time to spruce the place up again. Ever thought about getting out and looking for some new furniture? Actually, if I were a Taurus, I would consider getting some new upholstery on the seats in the boat this week. Something with a certain flair to it, maybe a leopard skin print would be nice. Or a Texas State Flag motif for the new seat covers. Hey, with free trade and all, you can get some really swell deals down along the Mexican border these days.

Gemini : Ever feel like sending a Birthday fax to someone? How about a special someone? How about the FGS Sister, our very own archetypical Gemini? That fax number is: 510/834-4730. Let her know that the FGS Faithful really care about the sign of the Twins, and that this is going to be a rather good birthday week. In fact, this bodes well for the rest of the year as any home-based business looks like it will take off. Just be a little more careful than usual with the steering wheel this week as you have a certain propensity for error while driving.

Cancer : One Cancer, near and dear to the hearts of the FGS Faithful, suggested that marriage was a holy and totally insane institution. For the less “relationship-challenged” Cancers out there, though, this is a good week to start thinking about a serious type of romance which could lead to wedding bells. don’t say that I didn’t warn you, first, though, because this could be a passing influence. No going to Vegas for a marriage. Stop and think before you leap into something which is harder to undo than you think.

Leo : Starts out pretty bad this week. Doesn’t look like it will ever get any better. Then, suddenly, the weekend arrives, and the party mix hits the right combination. Life starts to look up. Way up. Get ready for an awesome weekend, and keep that in mind while you trudge along during the week, and no, you don’t really have all the burdens of the world on your shoulders, you just FEEL that way.

Virgo : I’ve tried to warn you dear, sweet, innocent Virgo’s about this before, but here it is again. Read the long list of disclaimers on the astrology home page. In fact, maybe you should memorize that list this week. You are dealing with energy which could be just like a volcano and erupt all over your happy backside if you are not too careful. Imagine molten lava pouring all over everything you touch. Not a pretty sight? And, it is definitely too early to start playing with firecrackers.

Libra : It’s time, once again, to direct your focus to the front part of the boat where there’s a fishing partner, perhaps someone you’ve known longer than your spouse. And your friend up there, he needs to assist you through some tough situation. To me, it looks like it’s just a little bit of troubled water. Could be something as simple as picking the right bait (live bait this week, go deep), or it could mean you just need to talk a little bit about what is going on with the situation at home. In any case, though, you need to have you friends around this week to help you out.

Scorpio : This week starts out with a Monday morning that you, frankly, would much rather do without. It’s going to seem like everyone is taking a number just to come along and take their turn at having a piece of you to chew on. And that’s only on Monday! The thing that I like, is that the rest of the week goes fairly smoothly. I, personally, feel pretty sorry for anyone who gets their nails dug into you Scorpio’s on Monday because after that fateful day is over, you come out strong, willing, and able. And there’s nothing worse than an angry Scorpio.

Sagittarius : It’s time for a little bit of a summer time blues thing going one for you. You’ve just getting into the half-birthday time, and now you’re looking at the long stretch of summer where there isn’t a lot of activity. You just want to hole up in the comfort of the AC and not go anywhere. I still think the best thing is to get out o the lake, but you might want to try one of those Motorcycle looking wave boat things for a change. Maybe take a fishing pole on the back of it and see what happens.

Capricorn : Try a seance. Or try a medium. (If that doesn’t fit, try a large.) This is about the very tail end of you being able to actually “channel” Elvis (Elvis WAS a Cappy). Go to church, or go to a reader, or do a reading on your self. Just do something that falls in the category of spiritual. If you are a rather cynical Cappy, perhaps the closest to spiritual we’re going to get is a large donation to a Church. Have I told you about the First Church of Kramer, where we accept all denominations (preferably big bills).

Aquarius : This is shaping up to be one really nice summer. Despite the oppressive heat, you’ll find that you have a number of truly innovative opportunities to do just about anything that you want right now. Seeing as how it’s so hot in the South, I would consider taking one of thee opportunities as a chance to escape to the cool Northern climate. Go some place far away, exotic, and where the whether is a little nicer, even if this is only a summer vacation.

Pisces : The problem with the poor and delicate flower of a Pisces is that you might find yourself wilting under this oppressive heat. Get yourself into the swimming pool, the old “concrete pond” of television fame. You’ll find that the soft and gently waves lapping the edge of the pool make everything feel a lot better. No real pool? Do what we do in Austin, get a kiddie pool, and use that! The effect is the same, and the price is a lot more in line with reality.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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© 1993 – 2022 Kramer Wetzel, for astrofish.net &c.

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