Week of: 3/23-29
Then should the war-like Harry, like himself,
Assume the port of Mars; and at his heels,
Leash’d in likeihounds, should famine, sword, and fire
Crouch for employment.
The Chorus in Shakespeare’s “Life of the Henry the Fifth” [act 1, intro, lines 5-8]
Aries : It’s spring time. Be happy, joyous and free. Okay, pick two. Okay, this week, pick one: happy, joyous or free. Ain’t going to get them all worked out this week. Mars is making tracks all across you right now, and seeing as how Mars is intimately associated with the sign of the Ram, you seem to have trouble with time management. Before those cards and letters start to pour in, let me explain because I understand: there just isn’t enough time for you to manage. Call it what you want, but you are going to be very busy this week. And shoot for one of the three; don’t waste any time trying to accomplish too much this week; you’re doing the best that you can….
Taurus : Mars is being unruly to the gentle sign of Taurus right now; you’ve got the little red one kicking around in your 12th House, which isn’t a bit like the play, 12th Night. If you remember that play, it’s a case of mistaken identity, and some of the Bard’s judicious gender swapping which is even funnier when you look at the historical context of the play, a boy playing a girl playing a man, and so on. And you’re going to feel like someone is doing some kind of merciless mirth on, a merry prank indeed, on you this week. Laugh it off. Because this week is just like the play: it has a happy ending. You just feel like you’re stuck in Act III right now.
Gemini : Love is in the air. At least, we all hope that love is in the air. Perhaps you might want to look at this love thing again. Remember what tragic consequences love had for Romeo? And sweet Juliet? Since Mercury is going to turn retrograde this week, maybe you’d better slow down the love thing. Look at all your options and think twice before putting the carriage in front of the horse, as the old cliche goes. Better yet, think twice before putting the boat before the motor. Unless it’s a trolling motor….
Cancer : There’s nothing bad happening this week in your sign. That said, let me elaborate. There’s also nothing particularly good happening, either. So just chill out out. Take it easy. Take a load off. Folks are bound and determined to disturb your hard earned peace so take it all in stride this week. As a matter of fact, here’s a great expression to use: “I’ll take it under advisement.” Try fending off the ill luck and junk email with a comment like that. Tell them all, “I’ll get back to you later on this,” just like my Bubba always tells me….
Leo : I had to crack open the dusty old astrology books to come up with a decent reference for you this week. With both Neptune and Uranus in the opposite sign, as well as Venus, it seems like you are face to face with another week of things being contrary. Now, contrary is not always bad, it just means that folks seem to be a little upset with whatever it is that you are doing. In fact, if you’re not careful, you will find that everyone is out to get you this week. Actually, they aren’t all out to get you, it just feels that way. And there is certainly no reason to be paranoid. Just imagine that everyone you talk to who is contrary is having a bad hair day.
Virgo : I’ve been severely rebuked and assured that not every Virgo a neat freak. And I’ve been horribly trashed by a number of Virgo’s who assure me that they are not all clean and picky. But this loyalty to order, a common characteristic in the sign of the Virgin, feels like it comes under attack this week. There is a finite amount of pleasure which can be derived from cleaning house. And this pleasure you get from putting things in order, like crossword puzzles and jigsaw puzzles, that concept of order out of chaos doesn’t work this week. Don’t panic, order will return to your life in short notice. Just not this week.
Libra : Libra’s are always above average. Better looking, better built, above average intelligence, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. But this better and above average stuff isn’t going to get you a lot of places this week. Doesn’t matter. You will survive. If it’s not one thing, then it’s another. In fact, you feel a lot like a Virgo this week when little problems keep getting in the way of big problems. Remember the old line: small problems are just catastrophes trying to grow up.
Scorpio : Say hello to my favorite Scorpio, Ma Wetzel (that would be my mother) and she really hates it when Mercury turns retrograde. In fact, she has often wondered aloud why her son, the astrologer, can’t just climb up in the sky and fix those pesky planets. I’m doing the best that I can, right now. All I do report the facts. For the Scorpio, this week, the pesky and pernicious retrograde thing is going to affect a lot of your communications so try to be extra careful about what you say. You don’t want to be coerced into going back over old ground and apologizing for something you said in haste. And you can blame it on Mercury. Send Ma Wetzel a loving fax about Mercury Retrograde 214/521-0259.
Sagittarius : You’ve had a big business deal pending for some time now, and like all good contract negotiations, this a great time for a walk out. In fact, I’ve always liked the term used in Australia, it’s time for a “walkabout”. Of course, that isn’t going to settle any of the contract negotiations right now, but with Mercury falling into evil disarray, I wouldn’t worry too much about it. A trip would be in order, and for tax purposes, make it a business trip. Paris would be a good option.
Capricorn : You need to boldly go where no person has been before. That’s what this week feels like that you do, it feels like you need to boldly go where no one has gone before. You and Kirk. Ever notice how the Enterprise always survives? So do you, this week. In fact, you have the Midas touch, and I’m not talking about mufflers, either. Make some money in the daylight hours, and then use the beneficial influence of the Lunar Houses to help you in the evening hours fire up that old romance. Life is good again.
Aquarius : As thoughts of love and romance run their course through your Aquarian veins, don’t act too vain. Venus is leaving lasting mark on your soul right now, and with the incipient stages of Neptune toying with your subconscious, you find that you are ready subscribe to the ideals of love, if not the idea itself. This means it’s time to shed the old skin, like a reptile, and get on with what you’ve got coming along. Try and toss those rose colored-shades to the side this week, because, after Monday or so, your “affairs” are in order. Just watch out for dead truck batteries.
Pisces : You know, Mercury does go retrograde this week. But it’s not going to affect you. At least, not too much. It might, however, affect some of your Aries friends, and that’s what I would look out for, if I were a lucky double fish sign. Life in the Pisces Trailer Court is going to be good this week. Life with a Pisces is going to be good this week. Life outside the confines of the Pisces worlds might be a little less than wonderful. You’ve been notified, so I expect that you will pay attention.
