Week of: 3.9.1998
“Trouble ahead, trouble behind. Casey Jones you’d better watch your
speed…”
— Grateful Dead, from “Workingman’s Dead” (Garcia/Hunter)
Casey Jones — his real name was John Luther Jones, and he was born March 14, 1864, in southeast Missouri. His family moved to Cayce, Kentucky. Hence his name while working for the Illinois Central line.
Aries Mars is warming you with its fire. This should be good. If not, that’s your own dang fault. As an Aries, you should like this week. Mercury and Mars are dancing the tango in your sign, which means that your thinking and actions are in graceful, poetic harmony. This differs from your typical situation: Thinking on one track while actions take the bus. You’re the one who makes it happen this week, so get out there and takecharge, cap’n.
Taurus Lunar perturbations make for an uncharacteristically dismal early spring week. If you’re up in Fargo-land, it’s still winter. Let me qualify that: If El Nino is visiting the North at this moment, y’all may be growing oranges. Down here in Texas, things are warming up, just like they will for you, too. Soon. It pains me to say this, but it’s a good time to spend time alone. Some call it meditation. I think it looks like a nap. It’s almost like El Nino: Why don’t they just call it rain? If you can, find a warm, dry spot in the sun, and nap. Meditate. Whatever.
Gemini Let’s talk about love. It’s a many-splendored, hydra-headed thing. It’s strange and quixotic, just like you (in a good way). You have great ideals about love. Right now, you may find yourself challenged in a specific relationship. There are problems with this high-falutin’ love, and I want you to return to planet Earth for minute and look at this relationship without bringing along your happy bells. Take a take hard look at what’s really happening. It’ll allow you to see Dream Land for
what it really is.
Cancer Two words: good week. Don’t confuse the spelling of those words; It’s not wood geek, or even good weak. This being said, certain individuals will present you with an obstacle or two. Or three. These obstacles are not insurmountable, but they do command more attention than you want to
give. Be prepared to give more than you’ll receive. In the grand scheme of things, it’ll come back.
Leo We begin the week with you being in great shape. Know what? It gets better. You are SO money, and you don’t even know it. On the other hand, romance is, well, NSF: Non-sufficient funds. But something surprising might turn up. No promises on that front since the nature of romance
resembles the stock market.
Virgo Ever hear that annoying noise a commercial vehicle makes when it’s in reverse? “EEP-EEP-EEP-EEP.” The purpose of the alarm is to let people on your blind side know that something large and deadly is approaching. This week, you are the truck. Make sure your alarm is functioning because you’re about to back up over an old relationship. Your current beau or ex might want to know this before you drive over their head.
Libra Frustrations hit a new level this week as everyone at the office wants a piece of you. It’s like this: You keep catching fish and everyone wants what’s in your bait bucket. Here’s the secret: garlic-laced bacon. Bass crave it. Now that the secret’s out, don’t you do the same thing. Keep your guard up this week and have a fly swatter handy for nosy Nancys.
Scorpio You know you’re in trouble when your life resembles a bad country song. Did you know that when you play a country song backwards you get your girl back, the bank returns your mortgage, the truck comes out of hock, and your horse is happy to see you? I swear to God it’s true. I read it on the Internet. Anyway, unsettling times lie ahead, and my advice is to prepare for minor adjustments in your lifestyle. If you haven’t been listening to any country lately, now is a good time to start. Frontwards or backwards.
Sagittarius A rather nice configuration in the heavens right now resembles a supercharger on an outboard motor. However, adding an induction device to an outboard motor is not a practical idea. So, let us concentrate our supercharger energy on other areas of our life. Like travel. Somewhere foreign? Let’s try New York City. “No, I would NOT like to buy a watch!” California? That’s not a foreign place, it’s outer space. All this talk about travel should give you some good ideas for this week.
Capricorn The planets were mean and vicious to poor ol’ Cappys for a long time. When other astrologers are predicting relief in sight, I must warn you of minor details that are conspiring to make you feel like the bad old days are back. It’s really not that big of a deal. It’s just that every time you turn around, you might be hit with another load of non-sensical stuff. It might even stink. In fact, you’ll probably end the week wondering, “Why me?” Why indeed! It’s because you’re the mighty Capricorn, the stout mountain goat who can take it all in stride. Which is what you must do this week, after you finish the “why me” meditation.
Aquarius Another love theme. Weird. The sign of the water bearer is not noted for being overly romantic, but you might find yourself acting silly and writing love poems. Actually, the best expression of love is the passion a man feels for his truck. Try explaining that in poetry. But wait, there’s more. Before you lapse into high-octane haiku, consider the importance of a bass boat. Can you write just one paen to your truck and leave out the boat? Won’t the boat be jealous? This love triangle between you and your equipment is bound to get interesting.
Pisces There always seems to be one Pisces whom I forget about. Contrary to what’s written in the National Enquirer, not all of my stuff is written for her. Here’s another belated happy Pisces birthday to you, girl. For the rest of y’all, have a good birthday month. Enjoy the goodness that’s about to befall you.
