Week of: 7/20-26

Hail, many-colour’d messenge that ne’er
Dost disobey the wife of Jupiter;
Who with thy saffron wings upon my flowers
Diffusest honey-drops, refreshing showers,
And with each end of thy blue bow dost crown
My bosky acres, and my unshrubb’d down,
Rich scarf to my proud earth; why hath thy queen
Summon’d me hither, to this short-grass’d green?

Ceres in Shakespeare’s The Tempest (Act IV, scene i)

Leo : “In like Lamb, out like Lion…” and no, I’m not talking about some sort of strange sacrifice or bizarre Texas BBQ customs. Or, for that matter, I’m not talking about Texas Weather. This week starts Leo, and that is the biggest, baddest (in the good sense of the word) month there is. The next thirty days or so are going to be a major party time for you. Now, there is one little problem I associate with this: excess. You’re not always given to excess, but this next week, you need to watch the wretched excesses. And let some one else chauffeur you around. In plain language, they are called your designated driver.

Virgo : The Good news is that Mercury is just fixin’ to come and visit you. The bad news is he ain’t here yet. So with that, what you’re going to want to do, despite the best of intentions on your part, is bide your time. Adopt that poker face this week and don’t let anyone know what is in your hand. Are you bluffing? Or do you really hold a super-killer hand which will rake in the pot? Being a gambling sort, I would almost bet the ranch. Of course, after they call that Virgo bluff this week, you’re going to wind up with a new ranch. How are you with horses and cattle?

Libra : It’s going to be a good week. Wait, it’s not going to be a good week. Well, maybe it will be a good week. Then again, maybe not. Of course, this sort of back and forth behavior is pretty common for a Libra. Sometimes. And that’s also a decent appraisal of what this week will be like. Yes. No. Maybe. There are some really strong, good influences this week, and a few that are not so good. One way or another, and I trust your true Libra colors will show right now, you are going to make the best of this situation. You’ve got a few old problems which really do require your abject object attention at this time. Get after it.

Scorpio : “It was a dark and stormy night….” is the traditional beginning for a time like this. Of course, you have some fairly unconventional wisdom that I’m sure you will impart to me at a later date. With what you’ve got going on right now, the big secret for Scorpio for this week is to go ahead and try to balance all the little affairs that you have been secretly lusting after. This doesn’t mean they have to be affairs of the heart — there is also an element of money coming at. Of course, I’m reminded of that great Country singer who was cut when his fans showered him with quarters at a concert one time. It’s not like there aren’t a few things you should be careful of, but I’m sure you’re willing to examine all the details.

Sagittarius : You get a cute little tickle from a romantic interest a little later this week. This isn’t something big, but it is enough of touch to make your life a little more interesting than it has been. Ever reel in that odd fish? Like a gnarly old cat fish with three eyes? The result of some weird stuff being dumped in the river? Happens around here all the time. And that’s what this new romance thing tickle is all about. You catch someone who has been after you for while. Or you let yourself get caught. Don’t be surprised if they treat you like that three-eyed catfish after they catch you. “Would you lok at this one that I just caught?”

Capricorn : It’s a good week to be a Capricorn. More or less. The more part has to do with a certain harmony that you’ve worked hard to establish. The problems this week only stem from romance, and even then, this isn’t too major, as far as romance problems go. Imagine yourself as a professional fishing guide, and then imagine yourself with a special map to the lake where all the good fishing spots are highlighted. That’s the way the week can go, if you just stick to the plan. You’ve got the map; now use it; X marks the spot.

Aquarius : I’m sure, at one time or another, we’ve talked about that great MLM plan. I’m sure you’ve got a friend who is willing to put you in under him or her. The problem is, that you should have taken advantage of this a while back. Like any good marketing scam, you’re going to find out that you’re too late this time. Maybe you’ll pay closer attention to what I say next time about getting rich quick. Of course, I’ve heard that you are supposed to work hard in order to get rich, and that might explain why we’re all so broke these days.

Pisces : You’re going to feel like it all comes crashing down around your ears this week because that old lucky star is doing backwards boogie now. From being almost stationary in the very late degrees of Pisces, then apparent backward movement, this bodes a time a rest and relaxation. Actually, you’re going to be pretty frantic right now, trying to tie up loose ends that you were supposed to tie up last week. Or last month, when every thing was going so well.

Aries : Here is the ultimate love affair, sitting in your lap, and all of a sudden, nothing is going right. In all honesty, lots of things are going right, you just don’t realize it. And if you didn’t have me to remind you, you would feel like there is no hope and you would think things are pretty desperate. Actually, they’re not bad at all. You’ve just been thinking too much. Leave the thinking to other, more cerebral signs. You’re a fire sign, keep making an effort to go with your gut instincts, like looking for that one sweet spot on the lake, where all the bass are hiding. You know where it is, you can feel it. Just don’t think about it. In some other lines of work, this is called a hunch. Go with it.

Taurus : We’ve done the shattered dreams routine. Have we done reality check? How about the work check?> I can’t decide which one is more important this week. So maybe both need to be addressed. Reality is this thing which results from a lack of adequate coffee in your body’s blood system. And it does need to be checked in on, occasionally. Work is one of those annoying things that you are supposed to do every day, or, at least, a few days a week. Most bosses and similar authority figures have some kind of ridiculous expectation for what you’re going to be doing this week. This reality/work thing is going to interfere with your plans for a relaxing week. Sorry about this.

Gemini : Multi-faceted Gemini, the ones who are always accused of being two-faced, you poor dears. Your Monday starts out with one too many things which demand your attention. Fortunately, for you, this isn’t too much of a challenge. Then, as the week goes by, you are able to deal with this sudden rise in your popularity. I can’t promise you fame and fortune this week, but I can see that the astrological fish finder holds some decent gains for, especially in the work place. Plan on juggling those projects and working on time management skills to get by. You’ll actually pull it off after Monday.

Cancer : As this week draws to a close, all my fine Moon Children are going to take a giant leap: from romance to finance. Get ready to put your summer of love on hold while you suddenly roll up your sleeves and tackle a big project which will, I’m sure, earn you some decent money in the next few weeks. Or even months. The pay off may be miles away, but this dollar thing is going to turn into mega-dollars. And I always thought megabytes meant the fish were hitting pretty good. You heard it here first, so remember me when the big bucks start rolling in.

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