Week of: 8.31.1998

    He speaks plain canon, fire, and smoke, and bounce;
    He gives the bastinado with his tongue.

in Shakespeare's King John (II.i.462-63)

Aries: Other than little echoes of romance, sort of like past remembrances of long-lost summers, there's not a lot that is going on with you right now. This isn't altogether too bad, either, after this last summer, you can look back and be refreshed by the fact that you don't have a lot going on. I remember how I used to always look forward to school each fall, if only for the fact that there were new faces, new people. You have a similar reason to look forward to this week, some new faces, and then, suddenly, a recurrent image of an Ex pops up, just to shatter the dream like trance you've been enjoying. Sweep him or her (or it, as the case may be) from your mind right now. Of course, there's a recurrent C & W theme song right now: "All my ex's live in Texas...."

Taurus: Ever dream about owning a big piece of real estate? Maybe you do own a grand estate some place. Perhaps it's time to look into developing. Of course, around these parts, the word "developer" is considered a bad word. However, you do have an opportunity to develop something. And I'd urge you to look into the land deals you can work on right now. It's time for you to start building new stuff. Mr. Saturn is here to lend a hand, such as it is. Put them dreams into action. Make things happen. Activity is a "good thang" this week.

Gemini: Ever get that feeling that you are taking about 43 steps forward and then doing a little two step backwards at the same time? Fortunately, for a Gemini, this dance step and the apparent forward and backward motion at the same time isn't too hard for you to do. Of course, all this coming and going will leave the lesser signs (that's the rest of the 11 signs in the Zodiac) with our collective heads spinning as we try to watch just whatever it is that you are doing. Now take a deep breath because you get a chance for some relief in the very near future. As the week comes to a close, all this activity finally becomes clear. The rest of us will eventually understand just what it is that you're doing. Sort of.

Cancer: Dear Moon Child. The approach of the full moon leaves you with a degree of happiness because it's not going to "get" you this time. That's the good news. Now, in typical Cancer fashion, you are waiting to find out when the bad news is going to arrive. That would be in the middle of the week. The positive side of the bad news is that you get to resolve and old problem and then this weekend is good. Not even good, it can be great. Get ready to go and play. And remember, the weekend doesn't end on Saturday, not for you. For you guys, even this approaching Sunday is going to be a party time.

Leo: You know, my fine Leo friends, most folks figure that once the birthday time is over, that the parties are supposed to stop. But with the new school year beginning to unfold, and the Sun being in the sign of Virgo, and Mars still floating along in your sign, I would suspect that the parties have just started. Or maybe they never ended. Now, you need to be careful with any late season fishing because Mr. Park Ranger, or similar authority figure is going to come among and check your fishing license. Just make sure that you've got the insurance papers up in the glove box of the truck, and you know what? Everything will be okay. You did pay the insurance, didn't you?

Virgo: Virgo's have always been near and dear to my heart. The problem with this week is that the approach of the Full Moon makes things untidy, and no Virgo likes things unkempt. Relax the cleaning attitude right now because we are all smack dab in the middle of Virgo time, and you should be having one whale of a good one with birthday parties and what not. And as the Moon fills out in its orbit, getting fuller and more beautiful, give yourself a chance to relax a little and enjoy the serenity. There's a quiet calm which can fill you right now. Okay, enough for the pause and reflection stuff. Have a good party this week!

Libra: This week is firmly divided into two parts for Libra, and trying to get some sense of balance out of the two parts, well, it's like being the chain at a tractor pull. If the stress doesn't get to you, and I know you're strong enough to take it, then things are going to work out just fine. It's that age old battle between work and romance right now. Which one is more important? The one which seems more important this week is the one that you are not currently working on. In other words, no matter where you go, it's going to feel like you should be doing something else.

Scorpio: This happens a few times a year, one of those weeks when you feel like they are attacking you. "They" are not really attacking you, it just feels that way. What it is, astrologically, is Mars is making a somewhat less than wonderful angle to you right now, over there in loud and boisterous Leo. What are going to do with it? Be cool, calm, and act like you've got it all together. Internally, you might feel troubled by this charade, but externally, you can fool all of us. The rest of us might be a little worried because you're acting so calm, but hey, we're not Scorpio, we should worry when you get that look in your eye.

Sagittarius: Party on, my fine Sagittarius friend. Despite the seemingly overwhelming influence of Virgo right now, there's still enough planets floating around in Leo to make this a good week. And the approach of the Full Moon fills you with merriment. Or it fills you with a component of fertilizer, but you can pass that off as merriment. Or maybe that's "you're filled with an integral part of the fertilizer equation this week" but you get my drift. Spread this stuff around wisely, and don't lay it on too thick, even though, being the good Sagittarius that you are, you could get away with it this week.

Capricorn: Don't plan on getting out too much this week. Keep your head down with the incoming fire so you don't get caught by a piece of shrapnel. Do look forward to a good week, as the opportunities go from closed doors, doors which look like they have a few deadbolts and security alarms on them, suddenly, as the weekend gets closer, these same doors go flying open. Of course, you might want to check through the peep hole first, and make sure that you don't get hit with friendly fire this week. Life isn't always a battlefield, but the first part of this week, it sure feels like one.

Aquarius: And how do you spell relief? That's a good question. At the beginning of the week, there is no hope in sight whatsoever. This changes fast, like an old lover's attitude, one of those apparent shifts in the universe, and even though this change makes no sense to you, it does shed some light, and bring with it a degree of hope. In fact, things get downright good by the time Friday gets here, even a little ahead of schedule. So you go from no hope to wonderful in the span of less than a week. Granted, it's not like "0-60 in 3 seconds" but those claims on TV are never accurate anyway....

Pisces: You've got this terrific Lunar Phase swinging your way this week, and I'll wager it has you just all in a dither. Now, you're going to feel a little bit like a Sagittarius right now, because you're going to be a little less graceful than usual. This isn't too much of a problem, however, because, just like that other sign, you're also going to be inordinately lucky this week. But please be careful about the emotional issue right, that is, make sure your emotions don't run you over. Keep a tight rein on them, and all will be well.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.

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