Week of: 9/21-27

O! vengeance, vengeance;
Me of my lawful pleasure she restrain'd
And pray'd me oft forbearance; did it with
A pudency so rosy the sweet view on't
Might well have warm'd old Saturn; that I thought her
As chaste as unsunn'd snow. O! all the devils!
Posthumus in Shakespeare's Cymberline [II.v.8-13]

Aries : It's another day in paradise, another week, and the Land of the Aries is feels a little like the land of the lost souls. You feel like someone has come along and cut you loose from you anchor. In other words, you're kind of drifting on the lake of life, stuck out there in a bass boat with no particular direction? Suggestions? Grab the oars, crack your knuckles, and spit on your palms a long haul to the shore line. Worse yet, you're going to feel like there are fish out here mocking you right now. In this case, I mean a Pisces or two. However, once you lay a course in, you'll find a gentle breeze picks up and helps push you along.

Taurus : I slapped a tape in the the old CD player, something to wake up the morning a bit, and I think you will approve of my selection: Wagner's greatest hits. It starts with that "Ride of the Valkyries" piece, and you know what, my fine Taurus friend, that's just what you need to hear this week. Something that speaks about destiny, purpose, vision, and so forth. Saddle yourself up, and get ready for a quick ride with the Valkyries. Saturn is here for a spell, so we had all better get used to the destiny idea. It's your turn, now. Posthumus had a nice way of looking at it, you know, and I'll bet you can warm up an old devil, your sweet Taurus self.

Gemini : Is there an echo in here? Did you hear that? Your chart for this week speaks about echoes and duality. Reminds me of a trip to Echo Canyon. Actually, let's face it, unless you've got a really good set of lungs, those natural echo spots don't seem to work that well. But you get this persistent recurring notice that things are temporarily good in Gemini Land. For some strange reason, by some twist Mutable of Fate, you've got all the energy, and clarity to follow through, this week. I look at it this way: Mars is in your Solar Third House, which is the Gemini House. And that's why I like the echo idea as opposed the duality so often associated with the Twins. There's three this week, not just two.

Cancer : Nothing bad is going to happen to Cancer this week. At least, not much bad is going to happen to Cancer this week. With your propensity for worry, though, you'll worry about the "not much" part. Relax. Lighten up. Pause for a moment. In fact, on the video game of life, hit the pause button and walk away for a second. I want you to think about direction, goals, and dreams. Do you really want to be a high-paid executive? Wouldn't you rather have your own fishing show on Saturday mornings? Imagine, you and a camera crew, out with a video camera, shooting you reeling in trophy sized fish. Isn't that a much better idea? As a water sign, you know you should live near water. Better yet, work ON the lake, not next to it.

Leo : Mr. Mars is still flaming his way through Leo. Speaking of flame, can't you guys be a little nicer to me? Come on! I love Leo's. Hey, I'm a fire sign too! I understand! Now, Mars is energy, see, and you are even more energized than before. No, you're not unstoppable like the Bunny Archetype, but you do get a chance to use your charm to entertain some people. And where does a Leo really belong? Right there in the spot light. With Mars doing his thing to you, I'll give you a better than average chance of winding up in the spotlight this week.

Virgo : Gallant Virgo! Forge ahead! I keep hearing the words of Henry V in my ears, and you should hear them, too, as he does his little speech in Act III, Scene I, you know the bit.... it's that "Once more into the breach dear friends..." Kind of funny, about that speech, it's also framed as a sonnet. But despite the idea that sonnets are supposed to be love poems, and despite the fact that Venus is all over your sign right now, I'd urge you to go after the bigger prizes in life, and hearken to what Young Prince Hal was urging us to all do. In more modern terms, Virgo, Just Do It.

Libra : As the Sun continues on its merry way, it finds itself coming on around to your sign, the Sign of the Loving Scales, and all that it balanced in the world. Or, as Pa Wetzel always refers to himself, a "loving Libra". Ma Wetzel approves. Why sing praises for Libra this week? Mercury is doing a fine dance with the sun, bringing you lots of good stuff. Venus is getting ready to crawl up on your shoulder and make the world a better place, and even relationships with all those folks at work have the promise of going smoothly for a change. This all sounds a little too good, but it's there, so enjoy the ride!

Scorpio : One of the little problems with being a Scorpio is that you are a just a tad too much in tune with the "other forces" or whatever you wish to call it. These unseen forces are certainly working in your life right now. This isn't a bad thing, just a little hard to control. Now, if you'll just take a deep breath, and relax that tense neck of yours, and realize that there is no way to control some of this, you'll feel a lot better. Besides, things are just fixin' to start going your way. Which, in hindsight, is the way it should be in the first place. Please be patient while the rest of us catch up with you and your plan.

Sagittarius : Once again, you feel like there are some great opportunities, right about the middle of the week. But wait, curb that usual Sagittarius impetuousness, and examine this from more than one angle. Check it out, as they say. Make sure this is the THE deal that you want. Nothing is worse than accepting an assignment at the foreign desk, only to find out that the "foreign desk" is some place like Eden, Texas. Which, in case you're not up on it, is spot where it's so flat, you don't have to be psychic to see into next week. In other words, make sure that the deal which looks so good is really the deal that you want. And yes, Eden (Texas) does have industry, a correctional facility.

Capricorn : As long as we've got all this stuff in Virgo, you're in fine shape. The deal is this: the planets make a nice, non-combative angle to you. Life is good. Maybe not great, but hey, is ever that good? No, probably not. However, this is a single little hint of something kicking up from that thing you call your mind... something is bubbling to the top. Great ideas are on their way. Get out a pen and a piece of paper and write down these good ideas. Now, in that piece of paper, what you've got is a solution to certain problems which have been troubling you. That's why I suggested you write it all down because you'll forget it by next week, and, as long as you have that paper, you can refer back to it. Crib notes for life.

Aquarius : This is one of those times when you're supposed to slow down for the week. After what you've just been through, a little rest and relaxation is good idea. Now, R & R means taking it easy for a spell. Extreme vacations are out. No mountain climbing. No scaling huge peaks this week. Besides, it out of season, and you should know that. What you need is a little time out on the lake, drowning some poor bait. In the interest of being humanitarian, try using plastic bait this week. You never know what you'll turn up.

Pisces : Brain power. Two words for this week. Imagine yourself like a giant academic library. What you need to do is update your card filling system. Come on, it's the end of the millennia, time to consider using a computer to keep track of all that information. Ever thought about getting an updated computer system, something to track all those wonderful ideas and useful information that you've got stored in your brain? It's a worthwhile idea. Now, just do a little research into what works best. After all, you're going to need a fast processor this week. And lots of storage. Just remember Kramer's First Law of computer buying: before the ink is dry, after the charge card is debited, but certainly before you get that new computer out of its box, that new machine is now worth one half of what you paid for it. Isn't technology great?

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person.

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