7.12.1999

Week of: 7/12-18

So I, admiring of his qualities.
Things base and vile, holding no quantity,
Love can transpose to form and dignity.

Helena in Shakespeare’s Midsummer-Night’s Dream [I.i.302]

Sea Goats get the weekly prize hunt this week, an opportunity to transpose something.

This weekend marks an anniversary of sort, too, as the weekly Fishig Guide to the Stars is now a full five years old. I have at least one ex-girlfriend who would suggest the same age about my behavior, but I guess that’s best left for another venue.

Aries : I know that you a rambunctious and rowdy sign, all full of energy and just a raring to go. And I realize that this is a summer in which you really feel like it’s your job to be “out there” taking advantage of all the good things life has to offer, the tube trips down the river, the late nights in the beer garden, the cliff diving at the water hole, that sort of thing. I would merely suggest that you use this week to cool off a little because it’s not a good time to get too active. It’s not you, not the sign of the Ram, which is dealing with a lot of difficult stuff right now, but it is the other signs. And with Mercury going into a backwards motion, it’s time to exercise a little caution. In fact, I would be extra careful about cliff diving this week. I know the cool water of the river looks good, but I’m not so sure that it’s deep enough for you to do anything more than step into the water. A full, headfirst dive into the creek right now could result in a bump on your head. No one needs that this week. Think of your Ram’s horns, stick in the creek bottom.

Taurus : You are going to get a strange missive this week. If I were sufficiently old-fashioned, I would easily suggest that this would come via postal delivery; however, in this day and age, and so close to the millennium, this strange message might come via e-mail, fax, or bicycle courier. Something in the way of letters, though, does two things, and the first way it hits you is very upsetting. The second way you feel about this epistle is, however, much better. In a quiet period of reflection, you realize the true meaning of the note, and you don’t let it “get to you.” Saturn squares off against Uranus, and it’s my bet that Uranus wins the contest, despite what some observers might suggest. Between that, and the growing influence of Jupiter, you are set for some good news, one way, or another. Eventually. (Like, “eventuially this week.”)

Gemini : A Gemini alone is frightening concept to some astrologically minded individuals. Of course, I maintain that a Gemini alone is not reality because there are at least two or three different “personas” operating at any given moment. I don’t worry about you guys. You shouldn’t be too worried, either, not this week. You start out the week with a lazy feeling, one that befits a good fisherman, an attitude that it just doesn’t matter. Unfortunately, as the week gets older, you feel like there is something you are supposed to be doing, and yet… you just don’t seem to get yourself motivated to get and maintain this contact with other people. In fact, you are going to relish a few moments of solitude at this point. It does you well. Besides, like I’ve suggested before, you’re not really all alone, no Gemini is all alone in a situation like this.

Cancer : I realize that it is a special birthday week for particular group of wonderful and deserving Cancer individuals. And I realize that this is supposed to be a good time for you to enjoy yourself, despite the summer heat, or whatever permutations in the weather you are enjoying right now. And, of course, the week does start out on a good note. Regrettably, this tune doesn’t make it all the way through the week, even though some astrologers will tell you what a good week it is. I doubt that. Towards the end of the week, there are some little events which kick into gear, and like a pickup truck slowly lurching forward with a large and unstable cargo, you feel like you are slaving away under this kind of weight. Just because it’s called a “one ton truck” doesn’t mean you can cram that much material in the back of it. Go easy on yourself this week, and shed some of that burden. It will be around next week, too, so you can deal with it all LATER.

Leo : “I fear, I fear it will prove to be a giddy world” to misquote a little Shakespeare right now. Say hello to the usual Mercury Retrograde stuff this week. And yes, I know you feel like you are being singled out for this unfair astrological treatment, but don’t beat me, I’m just the astrologer. Mercury commences an errant path this week. Right here in Leo. As long as you are prepared for the usual delays, approbations, upsets, and unseemly events which follow the little planet’s path, you will be fine, just fine. There, there, my excellent Leo friend, it’s not all bad. There are number of other things happening upstairs which are going to demand your attention. You know that I always suggest you don’t embark on a new endeavor at a time like this, but you know, there’s the suggestion in your chart for this week that summer romance is about to happen. Maybe, just maybe, it’s an old fling come back for a visit. Whatever it is that happens, I’m sure you can enjoy it this week. Just watch out for falling rocks, as the highway signs suggest.

Virgo : Venus is a nice planet, in good, old fashioned, traditional Western astrology. So let’s just stick with what she has to offer as she comes strolling into your sign. She’s going to be nice to you. Of course, there are still some other side effects, not unlike the ubiquitous fine print [http://astrofish.net/fineprint.html], little warnings which need to be heeded. But I’m going to suggest that you throw caution to the wind right now, and make the best of the situation. Use this Venus energy, one of peace, and harmony and beauty, to the best of your advantage right now. It is time to shop for some new carpet for your trailer. Being a good Virgo, you realize that the old shag carpet you pull up from the floor can be cut up and used to line your tacklebox, too. And maybe, cut a good swatch for the front porch. There. Think: how many people have wall to wall carpeting on their patio?

Libra : There’s a certain kind of quality to the air which you notice this week. If you can pause in your busy schedule long enough to observe the texture of the sunlight, you will notice that there is almost a golden glow, a particular shine to everything that has a the same appearance, not unlike a newly minted penny, a special, ephemeral and intangible shimmering to it all. Inanimate objects seem to be alive right now. Of course, this is going to present a problem or two, especially if you begin to notice this while your driving. Nothing like having a vision appear during the summer rush hour, and try to explain that one to the traffic cop. What it means is you don’t need to get too sidetracked into the dreamy, airy world of alternate paths right now. Try to stick to one plan this week, and try not to deviate from your original idea. That, I should note, is in the singular, not the plural. Stick with one plan this week, and enjoy the view.

Scorpio : Little planets, big planets, asteroids screaming through space with an unknown final destination, you’ve got it all this week. But rather than get side tracked by minor influences, just looking at one or two heavy objects will yield a vast quantity of information about this week. A decent rodeo allegory presents itself for this week, but you’re tired of horse metaphors. In fact, you are beginning to feel like you are dealing with a large quantity of horse by-product. I calmly suggest that Scorpio doesn’t have it that bad this week; although, Mars, once again, is doing his best to excite you. Despite all this excitement, you still find yourself wading through endless piles of that horse by-product. Best solution? Boots. Tall boots. Some other astrologers will suggest a shovel is best at a time like this, but I’d stick to the idea that just boots will work because you don’t want to get caught having to work with this endless supply of obstacles. If there is some way you can just skate across the top this week, you will be ever so much better.

Sagittarius : One of the greatest Elizabethan actors of Shakespeare’s time, in fact, one of Shakespeare’s Lord Chamberlain’s Men more famous dudes was noted for the fact that he always did a little “jig” or dance at the end of a performance. When the jig was done, the show was over. And you’re going to feel like dancing that same jig to signify the close of some chapter in your life right now. Problems? No one else sees this as the end. So while you keep dancing the “party’s over” little tune, everyone else looks on with dismay, failing to understand the significance of what you’re doing. Sagittarius is grossly misunderstood this week. And subtly is not a particular quality the Archer is noted for, either, but I humbly suggest that a more subtle approach this week gets you message across in a stronger fashion. And timing is everything this week, too.

Capricorn : I keep thinking about Shakespeare lines which disclaim the approach of evil omens. While there are no evil omens this week, planets which are important to you are in a temporary state of confusion. The good news is that this shouldn’t be causing strife in your own personal universe. The only problem is that’s the theory, and the practical application of said theory has proven to be a little more difficult. The way I see it, you are still dealing with the rest of us, and we are having a tough time with it all. There’s a side effect from the planet’s behavior, and while I suggest that it doesn’t have any direct effect on Capricorn, because it is all so intimately associated with your major influences, it’s going to have an adverse side effect. As long as you are ready for this, as long as you are prepared for a cranky fishing partner, and as long as you realize that it’s not Capricorn, but the other 11 signs, you might feel better. Know any good lines from Shakespeare that I haven’t employed yet? Ominous sounding lines? Send me an E-mail with the lines and attribution, and you might win a free (abbreviated) “FGS Planet Profile” custom made, just for you and delivered via E-mail.

Aquarius : Write this date down! You’re going to want to remember this week for future posterity. I was hoping that you would want to remember this week for future prosperity, but alas, I cannot promise that. Big planets are doing little things to you, and little planets are doing big things. A taut angle between Jupiter, Mars and Neptune has an adverse side effect on you this week; however, being the good Aquarius that you are, you will not let this render you into a state of complete obfuscation. The deal is this: continue on this week “as if”. Continue on as if you knew what you were doing, pretend like everything is okay, and as the planetary pressure eases up, as Saturn excites Uranus just a little bit more, this make believe Aquarius state will start to make more sense. It will become more real, is nice way to say it. “As if” works pretty good for you.

Pisces : There’s a growing sense of excitement with the subtle shift in the moon this week. Perhaps “growing sense” is the wrong metaphor, because there’s a nasty little showdown early in the week between Mars and Jupiter, too. And I know how you feel about Jupiter. Despite the sudden shift in events which leave you feeling a little under siege, you will begin to notice the more sublime energy which is more positive as the week unfolds. By the time the weekend gets here, it won’t matter what kind of bait you use, you will be able to attract just about anything with any bait. In fact, you get one of those lucky windows when you don’t even need to put bait on your hook, the target just snaps up whatever you have to offer. Of course, early in the week, you might still feel like you are missing an opportunity.

© Kramer Wetzel, 1998, 1999

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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