Gretchen: this is why editors are so undervalued — yet so important.
“Fashion wears out more apparel than the man.”
Conrad in Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing [III.iii.139]
Astrology Side Bar: The month begins with the Sun and Mercury doing that traditional Mercury Two Step dance wherein they pass each other in the sky. Venus catches up with this mess and lessens the effect, if only by a few degrees, by the Ides of March. Mars also goes into Taurus in late March, joining Saturn and Jupiter.
Mars is the first of the heat being applied to our astrological system where everything is going to be headed for a big BBQ, Taurus style. Mars, Jupiter and Saturn can be observed right after sunset, too. While we’re looking at planets, two planets which are not observable by the naked eye are in Aquarius, and one of those guys gets a lot of extra attention this month: Neptune. Posiedon’s Trident is in a tension angle first from Jupiter and then from Mars, so that’s going to rattle a few cages. More questions? Read on.
Aries : There’s always a degree of frenetic energy when Mars is in Aries, and this this month is no different. Fortunately, Mars is a good planet. He’s not always nice to everyone — I’m not naming signs here, but Scorpio’s really don’t always get along with his brash Martial behavior — but you do. That’s the good part of this month. The tough stuff is nothing more than a particularly problematic “Mercury going backwards in the sign which precedes you” — just the usual Minor Mercury [hard disk crashed] troubles.
Taurus : Until Mr. Mars hauls his happy red self into your sign, you’re going to feel a degree of irritation which means most of your month is full of minor setbacks, little distractions which get you going off, following some senseless detail down to its apparently logical conclusion, and then you’re back where you started, perhaps richer for the experience, but you’re beginning to think it was all a waste of time, and you don’t want to waste any time, but there’s your persistent problem with Mars: waiting.
Gemini : South By Southwest is a big deal. But on some occasions, it just doesn’t work out, like this month. You hear about it, you see the hype, but you and your Gemini band don’t get invited to play a showcase. That what it feels like. You might not really be in a band, but you do feel like something is slipping by. Be patient, look at the bigger picture.
Cancer : When Mercury is retrograde, that little voice in your head is going to keep playing that same message about your inadequacies. Personally, I’ve never found a Cancer to be inadequate in any way. I figure just about every Crustacean is above average. So you have a choice as you face this month, are you going to listen to an aerobics instructor in your head who is trying to kill you, or are you going to listen an astrologer who has nothing but your best interests in his heart?
Leo : Remember the brief romance we all had with Disco Style? I have to wonder if there is one level of hell which is set up like a 30 year old disco, and guys with chains and women in heavy makeup are circulating the floor, eying each other like predatory game animals. Mercury is going to bring all this back to us. It’s not really bad, but there is something you should have attended to before, and it’s back.
Virgo : There was this one Virgo, carefully attired, always immaculately dressed and coiffed, and this Virgo comes to mind when perusing your chart. I can see her now, loudly ranting about the weather and her hair. There are “bad hair” days. Then there are days when the personal attire seems to respond to forces outside of your Virgo control. And this is a whole month of this stuff — a slightly disheveled look. I would just pretend like your fashion statement is a typical “avant garde” Austin style.
Libra : At some point this month, stop everything and go through your closet. I know you’re wondering about this concept, but it is time to consider a little spring cleaning. I’ve got one pair of jeans which is close to two decades old, and I keep hoping that I might fit in them again. Sure. There are some weighty decisions which you face this month. What do you want to throw away and what do you want to keep? Be careful about what you discard this month because you might want it later.
Scorpio : A cloud of secrecy should engulf every Scorpio, but this month, that special cloud might just hamper your own Scorpio insight rather than cloak your activities. Happened to a Scorpio friend, and what we all discovered is his secret ingredient in BBQ is ashes from his cigar. Don’t get caught red handed. Remember the terms of that “non disclosure agreement” you signed, and be careful about letting any information leak out.
Sagittarius : This is a month to enjoy yourself, and as long as Mercury is pushing your “play” button, make sure that you have the right tape loaded in the Sagittarius VCR. You want to be careful about what stories you choose to recount at a time like this because not everyone finds your tales of adventure that interesting. It’s not all your fault, I tend to blame the planets because that’s easier than accepting responsibility for my actions.
Capricorn : This month is divided neatly into two halves. One half is full of more than its normal and allotted share of frustration, and problems plagued by movements and misfires. It’s like my old truck, the carburetor rattles itself loose, and there is an ever present smell of raw gasoline even though the vehicle won’t move forward. The other half of the month is good — the mechanic lifts your hood, pulls out a special screwdriver, and tightens everything down, and suddenly, you’re running along smoothly again.
Aquarius : Clothes may make the man, but clothing doesn’t determine what the Aquarius is really like. Clothing and personal attire is under a degree of scrutiny. I suggest it’s high time to put off going on over to the mall to shop. There’s a degree of illusion which is brought about by the Jupiter and Mars angles in your chart. That’s why I’m warning you about making choices under this planetary influence — it’s a good month to solicit an outside opinion.
Pisces : Venus begins her annual trip through your sign and I would worry about picking new artwork or new wallpaper, that sort of thing. You might find that your tastes more closely approximate my sartorial splendor which is to suggest, you might not like the flashy colors when Venus has passed. Although, I must admit, my tastes in Hawaiian shirts is nice because both gravy and hot sauce disappear on the patterns.
