“I meant what I said
And I said what I meant….
An elephants faithful
One hundred per cent!”
from Dr. Suess’s “Horton Hatches the Egg”
Setting the stage for the big Taurus conflagration of this year….
“The reason you have a bad experience is to teach you not to do it again.”
–Willie Nelson
Aries : There’s a really simple solution to the big astrology news that’s breaking out elsewhere — you need to throw a party. I know, it sounds like a lame excuse to invite me over for some free food, but it was a good idea. If you expand on the central theme of throwing a giant party, something like a college keg party with some participants getting pickled and picked up by the local law enforcement agencies (hey, if you didn’t go to jail, how could you know you had any fun?), if you take this idea and work it around a little bit, maybe tone down a few key elements, I think you’re beginning to get the picture, you get to take an afternoon off and watch the day time shows with a few friends while you quietly sip cool beverages. Now, that image is a pretty fur distance from the original image of a giant blow out, but you’re beginning to get the idea.
Taurus : You’ve gotten used to first Saturn and then Jupiter agitating your sign. Then, last week, Mars slipped in. Get used to his agitation, too. This is the beginning of the big Taurus build up that’s getting all the build up right now. Mars is an energizing force in the heavens, look back at what he did not long ago when he was here. That would be April 13 to May 23, 1998. Been a few years, so it is a slightly unusual energy for you. But it’s not without some merit. There’s a special “power” he’s going to lend you, especially towards the end of this week as he gets a lot closer to Jupiter. It’s going to mean a lot of stuff is going to be happening. And that “power” thing I alluded to earlier? This week it looks like “power bait” which actually a brand name that I seldom use. Some folks swear by it, some folks swear at it. “Works great,” say some. “Doesn’t work at all,” say others. Toss out what doesn’t work this week.
Gemini : There’s the beginning of a pile up in Taurus. It’s like a slowly building momentum. Of course, as soon as I suggest that it’s slow build, you’re going to race through with a good Gemini speed and wonder what’s at the end of the chain. You’re wonder what all this is building up to. To begin with, there was Saturn, then Jupiter. Now we’re going to add Mars to this little witches brew of stuff. Mars is kicking around in Taurus, and that’s going to make you slightly impulsive right now. Or slightly more impulsive than your usual Gemini self. All I’m trying to suggest this week is that you hold it for just a second. Look before you leap. This is a slowly building sense about what is happening, and this is just the beginning of it all. It’s a slow, stately, and elegant dance step. Alas, I fear it might prove to test your Gemini patience, but you’re just going to have to adjust to our slower speed.
Cancer : Last week was work, this week is more of the same. It’s kind of disgusting. I mean, all work and no play makes a Cancer rather crabby, and I’ll have to agree with you on that. Doesn’t just happen to you, happens to me, too. Ever heard of a Sagicraberious? It’s a hybrid of a Sagittarius Astrologer who has been overworked by people constantly complains about the nature of their horoscopes. This week, you’re going to feel just like me, and no email, please. Over worked, over wrought, over taxed, and over done. [Over due, too, if you don’t send a check.] Of course, if we’re dealing with brisket, then over done isn’t too bad. But all this over whelming feeling is going to leave you a little on the raw side. Now please, let’s work with this idea. The hard work has certain benefits. Personally, and I’m sure you’ll agree, those benefits are questionable at best. But with the line up starting in Taurus, it’s best to give this work thing one more go right now. No two ways about that.
Leo : Stop and take a deep breath. You’re going to get a little jump start on dream land and fantasies this week. Can be very good, if properly employed. I mean, the energy and the ideas that percolate to the top can be good. It’s just that you might go chasing after a dream, and it’s like one of those days at the lake when you spend an inordinate amount of time running all over the place because “over yonder” always looks better. Before you go off chasing idle dreams, takes the ideas that you have this week and put them in your brain. Then seal it up good and tight. You don’t want anything leaking out. Allow for a proper gestation period, like, most of this week. This is like fixing a nice plate of food, you don’t want to pull the chili out of the microwave before it’s hot all the way through. Nothing is worse than diving into a heaping bowl of delicious canned chili only to discover that the center of the bowl is cold. So instead of burning gasoline going nowhere, instead of hatching anything before its time, give it a chance to come out fully baked, not half cooked.
Virgo : Being a Sagittarius Astrologer gives me an opportunity to study at the University of Life for as long as I can read, for as long as I can bump nouns into verbs, and for as long as I can figure out just where the heck the planets are this week. Mars, Saturn and Jupiter are in Taurus. This is good. Don’t listen to what everyone tells you about how this is the beginning of the end. It’s only the end of the beginning, to borrow from a certain English Statesman. There’s a problem with this statesman’s text, though, he was, to say the least, a little tedious when it comes to running sentences together. Another term that comes to mind is “long-winded.” Not that I’ve ever been accused of that myself, but right now, you need to be careful that you don’t accused of it. Never use a whole sentence when a single word will do. Sometimes a simple “yes” or “no” is a sufficient answer. Be succinct. Be as succinct as is humanly possible when, given the situation, you really want to use a whole lot more words, and especially try to stay away from being as vocal as I’m accused of being from time time. But not all the time. Not me, and this week, not you, too.
Libra : You are entering into a lucky phase of your life. This is an echo back to an astrological pattern that was established close to 1500 years ago. I was twiddling the astrology software to get a better glimpse of what the heavens looked like then, but I didn’t get much of a clue, other than, you feel like you’ve been through this sort of activity before. The trick this week is to break a few repetitive patterns. You’ve got more than a fighting chance, and there are some habits which have become firmly entrenched in your lifestyle. So this is the week to assess what it is that you want to change. I’ll promise you can get a head start on some big changes by stepping back and figuring out what needs to be modified. Personally, I was hoping that you could swing by and take a look at the motor in my truck. I know I can change it’s pattern of stalling in traffic if I modified the carburetor. Might need some Libra assistance on this.
Scorpio : What’s life without a few challenges? Think how boring it would all be without some interesting stuff going on. So I’ll promise that this is an interesting time. I often feel like I could do with a few less challenges, myself, and I’m sure you’re going to share that exact same feeling with me this week. But it’s not meant to be. Mars is moving along at a good little pace over on the opposite side of the sky from your slice, and that planet is joining up with a few other planets. Times promise to be interesting. When Mars is opposite you, he offers up opportunities for you to explain just exactly who you are. And what you’re all about. Regrettably, sometimes these come as challenges, so it’s a little bit of a problem. Now, be a good Scorpio this week, and don’t let the little challenges get out of hand. The cooler you can act this week, the better chance you have of getting by with a degree of calm in your life.
Sagittarius : There’s a weird conglomeration of planets that form a heavenly aggregate for you this week. Check the way you are feeling right now, and yes, you feel good. Don’t listen to the others, don’t listen to what the doomsayers are suggesting right now. You’ve got more than your fair share of energy, so get up and use that energy. Now, we have to discuss a usually unpopular topic. Where are you going to spend all this energy that you’ve got stored up? It looks like it all goes to the office with you. In my case, it all goes in a boat. Work isn’t usually popular with good Sagittarius folks, but work with me here: you’ve got a winning attitude right now, and as long as you put this work for you — at work — then you come up a winner all the way around. I’m beginning to wonder if that was too convoluted to make much sense. You feel good. You can win big this week. Be willing to win big at work. Okay, so work is nasty word, but it’s still a good idea.
Capricorn : Persistence is a good thing. By no, you’ve learned that some persistence can pay off in a big way. This is a week to be a little persistent. You need some perseverance, too. “To persist and persevere” is your motto this week. Now, what’s this going to bring in? Work. There’s a project in its planning stages right now, and there are certain steps you can take to begin to implement this plan. For me, I would be checking the tide table for a fishing weekend on the Gulf Coast. Might not be your idea of fun, but you get the idea. Get the gear in order. Get the equipment stacked up, ready to roll. Go through your old tackle, find that one lucky lure that looks a little ragged — but it works like a lucky charm. Make sure you have all the stuff together. In some cases, planning is very important, and this week, a some planning and thoughtful preparation is going to help you. So the new motto is now, “Planning, preparation, persistence, persevere.” (Phish?)
Aquarius : Mars is going to make fast pass at your Neptune thing, in the sky. This isn’t all bad, but it’s going to cause you to do something really which is, at best, very questionable in judgment. In other words, you might go out and fall in love with perfectly good looking person, only to find out, when the week is up, the person you fell so hard for is nothing more than a hollow image of something you want, not the real thing by any stretch of the imagination. It’s your imagination which is getting stretched this week. Since not all Aquarius folks are in the mood for love, it might not be a person. It could be an idea. It could be a new boat. It could be a shiny red truck, step-side. And those step side truck are really cute, especially that new Ford one. But it’s still not a good idea. The purpose of a truck is to haul stuff, and the step side beds just aren’t big enough to haul much more than a single box of stuff. So whether it’s love of a person, or love of an idea, you might want to wait until the week is over before you make that big commitment. And as a truck owner, let me warn you about all the friends you suddenly develop at the end of the month….
Pisces : Communication with your peers, friends, families, enemies, co-worker, cohorts and everyone else not already covered is the theme for this week, and it’s going to become and increasingly important theme as the month evolves. And you get a chance to evolve, too. There are some arcane astrological theories which suggest you are already evolved, and that’s why you’re a Pisces to begin with. I tend to wonder about that. I also tend to wonder about past lives with ex-wives but I guess that’s a different story. However, there is a theme that needs to be talked about. You need to check what it is that you’re saying, perhaps write it all out on matchbook cover before you launch into that great speech. What Mercury tore up a little while ago is back, and even though this is a good time to put all this back together, you need to be careful and eschew excessive verbiage.
