“Bait the hook well:
this fish will bite.”
Claudio in Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing [II.iii.109]
- Free stuff is always popular. Send Kramer [Fishing Guide to the Stars] the correct lyrics, source of the song, and the author, mentioned in the Aquarius weekly forecast, and get a chance to get in the running for a free [abbreviated] Planet Profile, custom crafted from your own birth data, deep in the heart of the Texas hinterland.
Aries : The idea of living in a trailer court like “Shady Acres” is that I can simply unplug the trailer from the electrical outlet, undo the phone line, hitch up the house to the big Lincoln (460 cubic inch V-8), and be gone. The reality of the situation is a lot different. There are a number of fishing knickknacks scattered in the living room, and a picture on the wall which would surely fall were I to try and move the house. Then there’s the temporary porch which a lot more permanent with its view of the river. And there’s some yard art I would hate to leave behind, including an old refrigerator that doesn’t work but makes for a great place to store live bait. As much as you want to uproot yourself right now, it’s not a good idea. There’s a lot more work involved than just hitching up the home and moving on. Make sure that you check everything, all aspects of moving before you pick up and split. You might find that the idea of moving locations isn’t nearly as easy as you thought. You’ve got more roots here than you think.
Taurus : In Shakespeare’s “Much Ado About Nothing,” Act I, scene iii, Don John makes a proclamation about Saturn in his chart: “I wonder that thou, being, as thou sayest thou art, born under/Saturn, goest about to apply a moral medicine to a mortifying mischief. I/cannot hide what I am: I must be sad when I have cause, and smile at no man’s/jests; eat when I have stomach, and wait for no man’s leisure; sleep when I am/drowsy, and tend on no man’s business; laugh when I am merry, and claw no man/in his humour.” Saturn is still an influence in your chart this week, and there is some mortifying mischief that you need to be up to. It’s that simple. I hate to use a long quote because it burns up too much bandwidth, but I couldn’t think of a better example of what your week is like. Now, in that play, the character ain’t the happiest of guys. But there is a dark bit of comedy which I associate with him. And there’s a dark bit of comedy in your life right now. Embrace it. Use it. And laugh when you are merry.
Gemini : As usual, there is one Gemini who complains bitterly about everything I’ve committed to print lately. I wouldn’t want to suggest that the particular Gemini needs to see about getting himself committed, either, but there’s a thought. Gemini thoughts are also very transient things, a quick glimpse, a brilliant idea, and then it’s on to something else. I would like give you a task this week, due to the influence of the planets. Try and write down some of those great ideas. These thoughts will occur when you’re at home, whatever the Gemini home looks like, usually, though it’s a trailer with the wheels still on it, ready to roll, just in case. In case of what? Nothing this week. I tend to believe that Gemini’s think best in the shower because that’s when my one bitter Gemini friend always comes up with pithy one liners to hit me with. Figure some way to commit this stuff to memory instead of calling up your astrologer fishing buddy and leaving a message on his machine, this week.
Cancer : I’ve grown fond of basing my astrological predictions on observed cycles. Rather than depend on a book to tell me what I’m going to translate into a weekly horoscope, I let the stars be my guide and I work with verifiable results from what I’ve actually seen. My fine Cancer reader, the two of us have been down this road before. It looks like a long, straight piece of two-lane blacktop highway that shoots for miles in one direction. It looks like a route I remember from West Texas. It looks like there is no hope in sight. It looks bleak, and then, all of a sudden, there is a flurry of activity. One minute, you’re thinking, “What are those vultures doing circling overhead like that?” And the next minute, you top a small rise, and there is activity of the best kind. Everywhere. It’s like stumbling into a movie set, only this is real. From a truly bleak week to a weird and fun week, everything changes overnight. There is an oasis with a cantina, and the music is blaring. It’s going to be party time soon.
Leo : There are dark days and then there are really dark days. And sometimes, even the best of intentions don’t seem to get you anywhere. You’re going to feel like this week is slowly grinding to a halt, and you’re also going to feel like this week is slowly sliding downhill, out of control. As a fisherman, I respond with glee when I see a water skier wipe out. This week, you’re going to feel like you’re the water skier, at some point. What makes it worse, is that there’s a fisherman nearby, and that person has absolutely no sympathy whatsoever for your wipe out. Nothing is worse than to find a good Leo with no one to feel sorry for them. In the picture I’ve suggested, you’re going to notice that there is an appalling lack of sympathy for the majestic Leo. So float to the top, wait until the boat circles around again, make sure the line doesn’t get caught in the prop, and think about a cute one line joke about all that lake water you just ingested. No one else will have any sympathy this week, so you’re going to have to laugh about it yourself in order to get the last laugh.
Virgo : There is a strange movement afoot right now, something or someone is trying to thrust you in the blindingly bright light of the of the public’s glare. A little limelight isn’t too bad. Just be careful about what you say when you talk to the media. There’s always a chance of a slip up. You never can tell. It’s the off the record, on the record comments which become confused this week. It’s not all that bad, but suggesting that to a Virgo is a little dangerous. I was caught on camera one time, saying something that was strictly supposed to be off the record. I was trying to confide to a reporter and the message got hopelessly garbled. To be sure, I was quoted exactly, but what was left out was more important. So when the reporter, the media, or even a simple e-mail message shows up, weigh your response carefully. You never know what will be used out of context this week.
Libra : I played around with the Libra chart and I came up with some ideas, but none of them were any good. It reminds me of an evening when I was sitting in a place, listening to a solo country and western act dispiritedly go through the numbers while trying to play music. It wasn’t a whole lot of fun. Suddenly, there’s a tap on my shoulder, I look around, and there’s one of those typically Texan fellow, probably an oil field worker, about seventeen feet tall, and he had a menacing look in his eyes. I was worried. That’s just what this week feels like with the relative movement of the Moon and the pesky Mars and Venus thing at the end of the week. You’re going to get the same “sinking” feeling I had as I looked at this behemoth with forearms larger than my legs. Libra’s can be diplomatic, and this is a week when just diplomacy can save you. I did some quick talking, bought the guy a beer, and didn’t worry about after a while. But there was still that initial feeling of sheer fright, and you have to overcome that feeling this week in order to get to the party.
Scorpio : I was delving into a brief flirtation with some classic Greek literature, and in the translations, I kept finding references to a “rosy fingered dawn” and similar terms. Of course my ancient Greek is rusty. So is my modern Greek, for that matter, and it doesn’t matter, but this week, just like that over used expression in Greek Classic, you’ve got a rosy dawn that’s arching its way towards you. In no uncertain terms, this starts this week, and as the week gets older, like that mythical day beginning, it just gets better and better. Unfortunately, there are a few Scorpio people out there (hi Mom) who will insist that it isn’t that good. It is. Just trust whatever deity is responsible for dragging the sun up in the morning and setting in its place. There is a good day coming in Scorpio land, one that is over due, and that’s going to be this week.
Sagittarius : Some of the great words of wisdom handed down through various sources has to do with leading the herd, and then, occasionally, looking back to make sure that the herd you’re leading, is actually following you. Maybe it’s Pluto. Maybe it’s the relative movement of Mars and Venus into Cancer at the tail end of the week, but whatever influence you care to ascribe this to, you do need to remember to check back occasionally, and make sure that whatever you’re leading is actually following you. The advantage to being leader, in the case of the herd, is that you don’t have to eat dust. The problem is that sometimes, whatever it is that you’re attempting to do, it might get a little sidetracked on the way, a diversion can be something as simple as a copse of trees that offer some shade or patch of fresh lawn that needs to be mowed (cow food). So pay a little extra attention this week, and make sure that your minions are actually doing what they are supposed to do. Like I always tell my webmaster, “The beatings will continue until the moral improves.”
Capricorn : Take this week, and look at it on a piece of paper. Now, draw a line right down through the middle of the week. Lengthwise or sideways, doesn’t matter much. Just figure that you are going to cut this week in two. One half of the week, maybe it will be every night, is good. The other half, maybe it will be every day, isn’t so hot. Or maybe it’s too hot. It is a scorcher of a summer in Texas, and that means maybe the heat gets to you a little too much. Or, you can look at it the other way, and say that the week is bad until Wednesday, and good after that. Or maybe I have this in reverse, and it’s good until Thursday, and then it gets bad. It’s all done by halves. Cut it in half. By the end of the weekend, Venus and Mars move in tandem, and they move into the sign that is opposite you on the wheel. That’s the good news, or the bad news. And that’s why I keep suggesting that this week is half good and half bad. Which half is most important? That’s up to the Cappy mindset to determine.
Aquarius : There’s a lyric that keeps floating through my head, but I know that I’m way too young to remember the source of this song fragment, but it goes something like this, and please hum along, “Venus and Mars are all right tonight….” Get it? I can’t place it myself, but I think that it has a great deal of meaning for you this week. Venus and Mars are doing something, and they are acting in unison to help you. This weird union in the sky actually occurs about once every year or two, but this time it’s of special importance to you. After what you’ve been through, it’s about time that you got a lift from the planets. And that’s what is going this week. A gentle little shove is coming in from two distinctly opposite forces. By the end of the week, you can see these two planets, right after sunset. Take a gander at them, and thank your lucky stars that they are moving in an orderly direction to help out my good Aquarius friend. (Venus and Mars. They are often called the love planets, if you really need a hint.)
Pisces : We’ve got us a backwards week in the way the days stack up. It all starts with a fizzle, and then it builds to mighty and roaring crescendo. While this backwards kind of movement works well in certain literary circles as well as classical music, I wonder if it works for the mighty fish sign. That’s for you to decide. It’s a week which starts out with a degree of frustration. A week that nothing seems to line up right. A week that reminds me of the time the boys in the back had too much beer and tried to drop a big American V-8 motor into a small, imported car. Didn’t fit. After much work, though, we all managed to rig it up so that this little bug of a car had lots of horsepower. Didn’t steer too well, but for some stoplight to stoplight fun, it was great — until the brakes wore out. And that’s what this week feels like, at the end of it, suddenly, you find yourself hurtling along, and your brakes don’t feel like they are going to stop Team Pisces. You win the race, it’s just the slowing down after that big crash-endo.
