Week of: 11/13-19

“Screw your courage to the sticking place.”
Lady MacBeth in Shakespeare’s Scottish Play (I.vii.60)

Venus is in Capricorn, Mars floats a square to her while he’s in Libra, and the Sun shines warily in Scorpio right now, so do like the Lady suggests.

Aries : Mars is careening through the sign which is on the opposite side of the Zodiac Wheel from you. What’s this mean in real life? It means that you’re upset, perturbed, a little distraught this week. Not so much that you would notice it, but your companions, cohorts, and various relatives and friends all seem to be part of some conspiracy to irritate you. Not so much that you would notice it too much, but in the back of your brain, after a few days of the Mars related tension, you’re going to begin wondering if someone is really out to get you. Dark, nondescript late model sedans parked just down the street? Strange guys with dark suits seem to be talking into their lapel? Guys with mirror shades following you around? A small degree of caution is advisable right now. It looks like some things which usually take about 20 minutes to accomplish are going to take a little longer so the best thing to do is to plan for contingencies. And leave yourself wide open for time to get it all done. I’m certainly not a conspiracy theorist, but you never an tell, not with the way your week is going….

Taurus : It is the long dark days of the fall. Or it’s the long, dark days of the fall in the Northern Hemisphere. This is a time when the approaching darkness of the winter gets to you, just a little. It’s as if you are doing your very best to get up and consider leaving your trailer behind. Then something happens, and you can almost feel this certain vacuum like appeal of your couch. It’s going to suck you in, and you might spend the rest of the day watching reruns on the tube. As your faithful Fishing Guide and Astrologer, I would suggest that some sort of activity, anything besides daytime television, is a good thing this week. Some sort of stimulation, besides yelling at the people yelling at each other on he tube is a good thing. Activity is important. Any activity. Of course, with the planets in their present positions, that activity is the hardest thing in the world to do, after all, that couch looks mighty appealing and I figure you and me are both going to have a hard time evading its grasp. But if you can successfully escape the allure of lounging in the living room, you’ll be very surprised at the amount of work you can get accomplished.

Gemini : What I really want to do is organize a cheering squad for the Gemini section of the sky. It looks like it’s something that you guys really need this week, a group of nubile young women, I’m thinking something along the lines of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and getting a team of those scantily clad females out there rooting for you might be for the best. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I should be the person put in charge of auditioning, training, and regulating this Gemini cheering section. You need some one, you need a person just like myself to cheer you on. In fact, this is a week when you might want to help fund just such an organization. I’m all in favor of it, drop me a check in the mail, and we’ll get started working on this special Gemini cheering section. There’s a little lift from Mr. Mars over yonder in Libra, coming down the turnpike, and this little lift could use some emotionally charged enthusiasm in order to get you really rolling. So consider that idea about hiring me to cheer for you because some form of encouragement is necessary. A little external motivation goes a long way in making this a better Gemini week.

Cancer : Nothing so reminds of a past “fling” with a Cancer person than this week. It was supposed to be great, all the proper parts were ready, the soft lights, the candles, the gentle music, and all of a sudden, in the CD changer, some rather hard driving punk music popped up. Who ever selected the music did a real “bang up” job by slipping that one CD in. If I’m not mistaken, it was a group called “Scatterbrain,” and it was a rather raucous tune, high heeled sneakers and screeching guitar solos. That’s the way this week lines up, see, there are two influences at work. One is gentle and romantic, and one is just like some nasty old rock and roll music which got mixed up on the record player. Plan to work a little bit of unplanned (high energy) discordant music into your plans for the time being. At some point, probably later in the week, just when things are running along nice and smooth, there’s going to be an event that’s much like that music, blasting out of the speakers, upsetting your tranquil peace. Be prepared.

Leo : You and I should confer about the relative merits of being a fire sign — especially with a week like this. Alas, I don’t have the time to properly confer with each Leo that I know. But there are some merits to being a mighty Leo right now. There’s just one little problem, and that’s called “talking about it.” You might have volumes of information, and between you and me, I know you’re right, absolutely, 100% correct. But this is a week when it would benefit you to put your lengthy vocal arrangements on hold for a little while. Failure to haul in your desire to tell us how wrong, or right, we are, will result in a bored looking audience. Unfortunately, if you’re not careful, this week, more than one Leo audience member will look at you and ask, “So what’s the point?” I know that you’re getting to the point, but that’s not going to curry favor among your listening audience, nor among your loyal fans. So reel in the long winded explanations, tales of derring do, and similar anecdotes that might be very important, but regrettably, fall on relatively deaf ears. Folks just ain’t listening to you the way they should be — at all. It’s okay, if you’re quiet this week, you can always say, “I wanted to tell you but you wouldn’t listen to me” — next week.

Virgo : You’re little Virgo “romance-o-meter” is running hog wild right now. And if it’s not the romantic indicator which seems to be stirring, I’d suggest that it’s a similar, sublimated type of energy which is kicking hard and long in your life. While romance is a nice concept, it doesn’t always translate well into the real world, and some people never quite understand the proper Virgo mind set. So even though you feel wonderful, loving and kind right now, it’s how you choose to show this open display of affection that seems to be a problem. You might try and time things a little bit better. I would never, ever suggest that your perfect Virgo sense of timing is off, but this is a week when you might have the right thing to say, the correct word whispered in the right ear, but the timing could backfire. Nothing is worse than having your sweet nothings broadband broadcast, shortly after you utter them. Check that ear for microphone before you start whispering in it. Endearing words are not always meant for publication. Of course, I still think you look fetching.

Libra : You may not really be from Texas, but Texas loves you anyway. [As sung by Lylke Lovett] And you may not understand the true feeling which is behind the expression, but you get the gist of it: “Just fixin’ t’do it.” This week, it’s actually a very Libra like term, and the Texas twang associated with the expression is helpful. You can face the toils and tribulations by suggesting you are just about to get around to that, and the project, task, occupation, pass time, whatever it is that requires your attention, you can let us know that it’s on your punch list for “soonest.” Of course, like a lot of Libra lists, sometimes this is something that you might never get around to, but that’s where the Texas drawl comes in handy. It implies that you are about to tackle whatever it is that requires your attention. Unfortunately, it looks like you will spend a portion of this week mollifying a lot of people, and letting them know that their concerns are actually on your list of goals to tackle soonest. “Yessir, just fixin’ to get to that one.” It’s a handy expression this week, and one that I’m sure you’re fixin’ to drop me note and let me know how right I was — maybe next week. I know, I’m on the list, also.

Scorpio : There’s one Scorpio I’m thinking of, and her birthday is this week. Regrettably, the birthday information is less than salubrious. Sure, it’s a an okay time, but there seems to be something missing, a certain feeling of apprehension, something that doesn’t feel quite right. I’ll promise that certain corners of the Scorpio world are looking up, but the actual Scorpio birthday this week is less than wonderful. It’s not bad, it’s just that there feels like there is something that is missing. It’s a quality that you can’t quite put a finger on, there’s a missing element. Don’t panic, don’t worry, and don’t freak out. Just realize that this missing part of the puzzle will not turn up. That little bit of something which isn’t present isn’t nearly as important as you think that it is, not right now. I would suggest that relax some, and not worry about that which can’t seem to place a finger upon. Whatever is missing will show up, perhaps even sooner than you think.

Sagittarius : What is that famous Frank Zappa song which addresses Broken Hearts? That’s the prevailing sentiment for the time being. There is nothing going on that should get to you. In Sagittarius, there are few less than wonderful planets doing a few less than wonderful things, but that doesn’t mean there is no hope. And it certainly doesn’t suggest that your good attitude needs to suffer any, not this week. If you don’t like the Zappa song, check out Capricorn for another musical trivia question, perhaps the hopeful song there would be better. But the tune from 1979 is better because its title correctly evokes what the Sagittarius feeling is right now. Despite some attitude problems with other people, occasionally, it’s okay to be a brash and raucous individual, and this might be just the week for that. To be sure, you will undoubtably rub a few characters the wrong way, but that shouldn’t be your concern. You know, sometimes, you just need to do that. Might as well make it this week.

Capricorn : “Working on the railroad/ Sleeping on the ground,/ Eat saltine crackers/ ten cents a pound…” is the lyric from a particular old and familiar song. It’s roots are various, some would suggest it’s Country. Others claim it’s Western. Some even suggest it’s Swing. In any case, the only hint is that this is music with an intrinsic tie to Texas. Correctly identify that tune and the authors, perhaps its first public appearance, and you can win an abbreviated “FGS Planet Profile” delivered e-mail only. What does this tune have to do with this week? It’s a joyful, party kind of song. Perhaps it’s not politically correct anymore, but you get the idea, I hope. Despite the odd influences, there’s still a decent party attitude in your sign right now, and you need to do the most to accentuate that party attitude, hence the musical trivia question. And if you can just focus on something besides the problems at hand, perhaps lift your eyes up from the ground, or the desk full of work related trivial matters, you’ll find that the world isn’t such a bad place. I can’t promise a real swinging party, but there is hope, especially getting this week off to a good start.

Aquarius : I had a about a six week sprint where I worked every weekend. Every Friday, I was at the airport, flying off to various places in West Texas, place like the Permian Basin, and Lubbock, Amarillo, El Paso, and then a quick tour back east, off to Tyler. After about six weeks of this, all I really wanted was a quiet weekend at home. Just when it looked like I was going to get that time at home, I had an invitation to fish in tournament on the Left Coast. Once again, I just loaded up the suitcase, grabbed the saddlebags, as it were, and hopped on another company plane. That’s what this week is like, all that frenetic activity, and all you long for is a little vacation. And just like me, you can look forward to a special invitation at the end of the week. In other words, you’re active spell isn’t done with yet. But what’s coming up is a little bit better because it’s going to be a little different. The difference between me and your Aquarius self, though, is that you get all this activity in one week whereas I had a slightly more sedate pace, stretching over a six week period of time. So don’t unpack your saddlebags yet, don’t plan on getting much of anything done besides a little laundry, pet the cat, and get ready to roll again — you ain’t done yet.

Pisces : The only thing that most Pisces want to hear about right now is romance, love, and its assorted (and sordid) players. And while regular astrology suggests that such a train of thought is a good idea for Pisces, I would tend to veer off the traditional track, and I would follow a different rail line, and tell you to pay attention to business. “Work? Why work?” Because work has a unique little opportunity, a single shot at some advancement, and there’s nothing like getting a heavenly hint that work is about to get better. But it’s now time for a fishing analogy. Imagine you’re on the lake, early in the morning. Imagine that there are other, rival fishermen. Imagine that you have just one cast that will attract a big bass who has been sitting there, patiently waiting on you. Get out your favorite lure, the one that always works. Put it on the end of the line. Say a short a prayer. Cast away. You’ve got one chance to make the business thing work, and as long as you concentrate hard, imagine that fishing chomping down on your bait, you can hook a big one. You have a single opportunity to break free of the usual stuff about romance and get yourself in a position that bodes well for your financial future, but you have to be willing to work towards this with calm determination and a view towards success. Skip the romance that other folks are talking about — go for the big prize, and remember me when you win big.

About the author: Born and raised in a small town in East Texas, Kramer Wetzel spent years honing his craft in a trailer park in South Austin. He hates writing about himself in third person. More at KramerWetzel.com.

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